Vicious Propaganda ver3.06 Table of Contents ================= 1.0 (vee-pee) Tip Of The Month 2.0 Gross Overexageration - B187 3.0 Inside danoZANO's Skull - danoZANO 4.0 Remote From The Ruckus Palace - Sistah Ruckus 5.0 Noid's Little Ditty - Noid 6.0 Finer Art Of Beer Drinking - Xor 1.0 (vee-pee) Tip Of The Month ============================== Tip Number 12: "Drink 6 cups of coffee before reading, we did before editing." 2.0 Gross Overexageration ========================= B187 Presents - Why this month's VP is late... Reason Number One Fucker. Three days late and lacking so much shit it ain't funny. This issue was intended to be a compilation of articles written at the Digital Decay (vee-pee's world headquarters) BBQ. But people left, were too tired, too busy socializing or passed out. Oh well. Anyways, we got two new members. Lemme introduce them to you... Rancid - New (vee-pee) artist. Will be doing a good bulk of the net.VP art. I forgot to ask him if he will write stuff... I guess we'll all find out. Sistah Ruckus - The resident Ruckus Ninja. Not the Ruckus Queen as it states in the Ruckus Ninja webpage, but she's still the queen of this geek. However, It's time to progress with the ish. Have fun you fuckers. 3.0 Inside danoZANO's Skull =========================== The Penis -- Convenient Reproductive Organ, or Satan's Staff? The human penis is a menace to society as we know it and should be regulated and licensed to within an inch (or so) of its very existence. The penises already available to the general public have caused an increase in general violence, mayhem, and discord in our culture -- the stigma of being a penis user can follow a person through their entire career and change their life. Take for example the story of Jimmy, not his real name, and the troubles he's had with his penis. "My penis gets me in trouble everywhere I go!" he complains. "Every time it pops its little head out, there's another situation. I can't take it out anywhere without people noticing and shying away, and all I want to do is be their friend!" (Johnny is currently serving out the remainder of his sentence in an undisclosed location.) And from the other end of the spectrum, a story from Wanda (also not her real name) and how the fun she used to enjoy with penises got out of hand. "It all started when my boyfriend hit me in the eye with a misfire, we were up late and there was nothing on TV so there we were. He got me square in the eye and I still haven't picked out the last of the make-up, which dissolved as I frantically scrubbed at my face with a hanky. I was in tears, inside and out. Someday, the pain of my tragedy may help others avoid the same bitter fate, and that's why I'm petitioning for full registration of the penis as a dangerous tool which cannot be used by just any Tom, Dick, or Harry who happened to be born with one." Wanda seeks both licensing and proficiency testing, as well as designing a series of special tamperproof restraints which deny service to those without a special centrally-monitored key card. 4.0 Remote From The Ruckus Palace ================================= Volume One - Hunting and Escaping LIST OF NECESSARY ITEMS FOR THE GLAM NINJA ------------------------------------------ 1. Snappy barettes - keeps the hair out of your face when you're fighting bad guys; 3 or 4 clipped together make cute ninja stars. Sharpen the points with a nail file. But what ninja doesn't always carry a complete arsenal of lock knives, faux lipstick knives, and ready made ninja stars (suction cup and metal)? 2. Straight edge beads and 2 lipsmackers make small, but stylish nun-chuks. 3. Herbal essence spray gel - smells great, doubles as mace. 4. Pussy 5. Mirror - send secret ninja messages and periodically check ninja makeup. 6. Rice - for the asian, duh. 7. Cigarettes - of course, all cool people smoke, and essential for improvised ninja smoke tactics. 8. Tiny camera - take pictures under girls' skirts and send them to "Big Brother" magazine for big bucks. 9. Scissors - how else would you turn the bottom of your too-long sweater into a nifty turban? 10. Black eyeliner - essential for disguises. add moles, birth marks, mustaches, goatees, etc. 11. Adidas shell toes - the only pair of shoes that goes from prom ruckusing to hardcore kicking to breakdancing. 12. Small can of potato chips with a camoflage-print-phallic-looking- thing-that-pops-out-instead-of-tiny-potato-chips - if I have to tell you what that's for, you're not a real ninja. 13. Realistic rubber peanut - the old fake rubber peanut trick, gets them every time. 14. Spice Girls tape - this is the only other item besides a video tape of Grease II that will get the boys going, and it never gets old and boring. My Babydaddy also works. 15. Whiteman's firewater - for the drunk Indian 16. Ruckus business cards - integral for getting the rukus brothers (and sister) hopping mad. 17. Bra - doubles as a high-powered sling shot. well, ONE of our's could. 18. A telephone - strike that, sally ruckus doesn't answer it. 19. A cute polo dress that doubles as a shirt that you never wear. 20. A video camera - to use all of the above in a ninja home movie The Ruckus Rap -------------- i'm a ruckus ninja and a asian girl too i like to eat rice and my favorite color is blue i have a camo belt with a buckle that says "D" i just moved home, my parents suck cheese i wear the shell toes and i'm good at giving blows. jobs. word. i wrote this verse from end to first. if you don't want to listen, quit your bitchin. awww yeah. asian girl in full effect. rhondah ruckus in full effect. Various Ruckuses ---------------- Sexual ruckus: RODEO - Someone dresses up in a clown suit and hides in the closet. You have sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend, making sure to position them in front of a camera. Then you grab a hold of your "partner" and yell,"Rodeo!". The rodeo clown jumps out, and tapes it all. The point is to see who holds on the longest. Big she-ninja ruckus: Get all the she-ninjas to dress in short shorts, leg warmers, tube tops-eighties clothes-and roller skates. Go to the skate(board) park and take over the place. Do the limbo and shoot the duck. Simple car ruckus: For passenger - when the driver brakes, pretend to slam into the windshield. Scares the crap out of the driver and random pedestrians. For driver - When passengers piss you off, slam on your brakes and say, "Bow to the ruckus queen." Easy ruckus: Fall down. Anywhere. A public place with lots of people scores extra ninja points. Beginning ruckus: Point out something up high to victim. When they look up, ninja chop their throat and yell a ruckus exclamation. (i.e. keeyah, hiyah, ahso, aii, waahh.) I have balls ruckus: Dress really crazy. Wear a wig and sunglasses. Go to the airport to greet strangers. Official Ruckuc Ninjas Member List ---------------------------------- - Rufus Ruckus: Gay boy. Excels at exposing his genitals in public places, and lip syncing with his penis. - Sally Ruckus: Drunk Indian. Founder of the ninjas, proficient in accesorizing - Buffy Ruckus: White girl. Specializes in oppressing the minority ninjas - Massajahrhonda Ruckus: Sexy Asian. Weapons and falling expert. 5.0 Noid's Little Ditty ======================= Noid!!!!!!! You bastard!!!! You owe me an article... Oh well... The show must go on without ya... 6.0 Finer Art Of Beer Drinking ============================== The quest for beer starts in Fullerton @ the Digital Decay BBQ. Nitro decides that he wants beer, so we head to the Lucky's and found crapola. After that a corner liqour and we found even less. But they had King Cobra... YEAH!!! After much searching at many other liquor stores, our trip ends at Thomas Liquor on Orangethorpe. Besides being quite parched, Nitro and I are rather frustrated at the selection of beer in Fullerton. So I decide I that will we get whatever they have at this place, providing they have more than just crap. Low and behold, we come across a spotlight in the fog: Mississippi Mud. Mississippi Mud is the Famous Slow Brewed Black & Tan Beer (plug). So we buy B187 his Sam Adams and roll out victorius. When we rolled up, we became the life of the party!!!! :) People saw the cool shaped bottle (like a redneck jug of booze) and wanted a drink. Here's a couple of reviews that we could coax out of guests at the party. Reviews of THE MUD - By Party Attendees /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ -- "It's robust." - B187 -- "It's lighter than Guiness, but smoother." - Nitro -- "It makes me think like I'm in the midwest, and My name is Zeek, and I'm hanging out with Bubba. " - Xor -- "It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited." - noid -- "Satan's placenta be upon you all, lest ye ingest the fish tacos and beer of the Lord!" -- danoZANO -- "9 out of 10 modem sluts can't be wrong!" - Vanna Vinyl