BOOK OF LIFE

A quick post before I go back to making a mess of my car, 
attempting various servicing tasks. Somehow the ones I've done many 
times before never seem to come free of mistakes for me. If 
anything I fall into the trap of over-confidence and mess things up 
even more.

Having finished a day's spanner-hammering, hair bathed in dirt and 
oil, I'm still going back to reading Seven Pillars of Wisdom. I'm 
near the end now, in the last "book", although reading less 
frequently because the weather has become too cold to sit upright 
for reading on most nights. So of course, head filled with 
knowledge of guerrilla warfare and camel husbandry, I'm looking to 
the next book on which to feast my eyes.

Continuing in the spirit of adventure I was thinking of The Kontiki 
Expedition, in part just so I can finally watch the movie since 
I've skipped it when shown on TV in order to read the book first. 
However as academically interesting as these non-finction works 
are, I wonder if reading them serves me best. I already avoid 
fictional works in order to gain some true knowledge of the world 
from my reading, but really how far does this knowledge advance me? 
To someone with the security of wealth it's an equal advancement to 
obtain any such accurate knowledge, yet here I seem to struggle 
with every practical task I set myself. With tasks I set myself in 
order to make money, and as often with tasks I must complete myself 
due to no capacity for spending money (or skill in finding paid 
people to do what I want properly anyway).

In many things it's not a problem simply solved by reading. I've 
read a book on welding, yet it's clear I'll need much physical 
practice to figure out MIG welding thin metals, once I finally 
stump up the cash for the equipment that I've delayed buying all 
year (the shielding gas is a real pain). But for cars at least 
there are voluminous texts aimed at non-professionals. In 
particular I picked up for $2 at a garage sale parts of an 
excessively-long subscription series called On The Road, which 
swerves its way randomly through many detailed DIY car servicing 
topics from the general to the excessively specific. This should be 
a fine candidate for material I can profitably read rather than 
tales of 20th century adventure.

But even then, am I missing the point? If I'm bending my recreation 
time to serve me for learning tasks I can't afford to pay for, 
should I go further and spend all available time towards gaining 
knowledge I can use to make money. For my big website idea I'd 
surely benefit from a full rounded understanding of different 
database designs and architectures. Much as it's a rude word here 
on Gopher, AI is something I'll need to look closely into for it as 
well. Shouldn't I spend all my time reading up on these topics?

Really, yeah. But the entertainment value then is largely gone. 
Maybe I can sort-of get into that, but I'd be more into reading 
about electronics (old fashioned computer-free electronics) or 
mechanics. Unlike those, database theory and AI aren't something I 
start reading out of my own natural inclination, they're topics I 
rationalise myself to thinking I _should_ read up on. But maybe 
avoiding that is the failure of my life, in thinking I can make 
money within a niche of activity that I really enjoy. That's a lie 
tought in youth; it doesn't apply to unsociable people like me 
unless they're very lucky, and I'm evidently not. I'm sure I'm not 
alone, ruthlessness in business must often be motivated by a desire 
to escape from this world of self enslavement, into that wealthy 
ideal where one can indulge in academic recreations without fear of 
missing practical opportunities.

But which is right and which is wrong? Is it the need for wealth 
which is my illusion? Should I adandon myself to fate while 
indulging in academic thoughts regardless of wealth or future? 
Should I abandon personal desire to try and transform my interests 
to serve a society that I don't myself wish to emulate. Or the 
middle ground of trying to sacrifice the former to make up for the 
shortfall of the latter by skillfully sustaining myself in ways 
most people aren't able to. The choice of book becomes a choice of 
life. The middle road (and therefore "On The Road") appeals to me 
most, I being a sucker for compromise, but without much conviction 
that it's correct.

 - The Free Thinker