## Bitreichcon 2023 Keynote Why DIFFERENT matters. by Mr. Gopher ## Mr. Gopher ~~~~ ~~~~~~ ,_---~~~~~----._ _,,_,*^____ _____``*g*\"*, / __/ /' ^. / \ ^@q f [ @f | XXXXXX | | XXXXX l 0 _/ \`/ \~____ / __ \_____/ \ | _l__l_ I } / [______] \ I ] | . | | | . | | ] \ ~ ~ / | | \_______/ | | | * Mr. Gopher ## Gopher2Human Transcript Welcome to this years Bitreichcon 2023! #pause All over Gopher! #pause How did you find here? #pause I hope there was no traffic jam ... #pause .... like on the web. #pause *giggle* ## Gopher2Human Transcript My name is Mr. Gopher. #pause I want to stay anonymous. #pause For various reasons related to ... #pause ... my enemies. #pause They do not like me. #pause Really. ## Gopher2Human Transcript One detail I can tell you: #pause I know Prof. Skildgaard very well. #pause We research slow science. #pause He is a good friend. #pause He has a whole gopher group at his ... #pause ... research facilities. ## Gopher2Human Transcript He told me how nicely he was ... #pause ... received last year. #pause So I decided to hold the keynote. #pause Thank you all for inviting me! #pause Let me start with my talk. ## Gopher2Human Transcript Last year Prof. Skildgaard talked ... #pause ... about being slow and a turtle is ... #pause ... key to survival. #pause This year we talk about how ... #pause ... being different is the second ... #pause ... key to our success. ## Gopher2Human Transcript We are different. #pause This makes us unique. #pause This gives us advantages. #pause We can keep our systems running ... #pause ... when the boring ununique ... #pause ... come to a halt. ## Gopher2Human Transcript This year you will see talks ... #pause ... which show you how a simple ... #pause ... paradigm of a pipe ... #pause ... keeps different and unique things ... #pause ... together to create marvelous ... #pause ... and beautiful outcomes. ## Gopher2Human Transcript Mature technology combined together ... #pause ... like gopher for over 30 years ... #pause ... or atom feeds for over 20 years, ... #pause ... the unix paradigm, ... #pause ... or simply the IRC protocol ... #pause ... allow us to be a community! #pause All over the world! #pause So many years! ## Gopher2Human Transcript Things are just running ... #pause ... besides being different everywhere. #pause Many hypes has been overcome. #pause Hypes will make things ununique ... #pause ... equal and boring. #pause We are not equal and boring. #pause We are different! ## Gopher2Human Transcript I want to invite everyone to join ... #pause ... into the hackathons this year at ... #pause ... brcon2023. #pause Your mind will be extended. #pause I already checked out the hackathon ... #pause ... repositories. #pause Talking does not bring us forward. #pause Constant ideas and patches bring us ... #pause ... forward! ## Gopher2Human Transcript Now I have to go back into my ... #pause ... gopherhole. My wife is calling. #pause You can hear her screaming in the ... #pause ... background. #pause We have nuts for dinner. #pause Delicious. #pause I married her because of her ... #pause cooking. And ... #pause ... for other things. ## Gopher2Human Transcript But I will be attending brcon2023 ... #pause ... too. Via ssh and audio. #pause Here in the ground Internet is ... #pause ... very bad. Noone thinks of the ... #pause ... gophers. #pause But you do! ## Gopher2Human Transcript Have a perfect conference! #pause See you!