Aittvax.186
net.jokes
utzoo!decvax!ittvax!swatt
Fri Jan  8 20:48:44 1982
More Texan Jokes

I never thought Texas jokes would get to be such a rage.  However,
I have a few I'd like to share.

	It's not in our history books, George Washington originally
	came from Texas.  In fact, the famous story of the cherry tree
	really goes like this:

	One day George's father comes home and finds his favorite
	muskeet tree has been chopped down.  Suspicioning that young
	George, having just received a hatchet for his birthday, might
	have something to do with it father Washington calls his son in
	for a little talk.

	Father:	George, did you chop down that muskeet tree?

	George:	Father, I cannot tell a lie. I chopped it down
		with my little hatchet.

	Father:	Well, if you can't tell a lie, we'd better get
		the Hell out of Texas!


This isn't really a Texas joke, but a Texan has a cameo appearance
in it.

	One day a young grocery clerk was working in the vegetable
	section when he was approached by a very tall Texan with
	boots and spurs and a ten gallon hat.
	
	Texan:	Mah boy, I wanna bah a hahf a hayd o' lettuce.

	The clerk looks up at the Texan and says: "That's an unusual
	request; I'll have to check it out with my manager". Whereupon
	he turns away and walks up to the manager.  Not realizing the
	Texan, for all his size, has followed right behind him, the
	clerk says to his manager: "Boss, some asshole Texan wants
	to buy half a head of lettuce".

	The very sharp intake of breath behind him reveals to the
	clerk the presence of the Texan.  Almost instantly he adds:
	"And this fine gentleman behind me wants to buy the other
	half".

	With his feelings properly soothed, the Texan goes off with
	his half a head of lettuce.  The manager congratulates the
	stock boy.  "That was a helluva piece of quick thinking;
	You have real potential.  How would you like to go to our
	management training school?"

	Stock boy: Where is it held?.

	Manager: Detroit

	Stock boy: Detroit?  Nobody lives in Detroit except whores and
		hockey players!

	The manager replies very icily: I'll have you know my
		wife comes from Detroit!

	Stock boy: And what team does she play on?

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