Aihuxi.118 net.jokes utcsrgv!utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!ihnss!ihuxi!cjy Fri Apr 2 15:03:10 1982 T. V. Movies The other evening as I was driving home a local radio station ( WCFL ) was reading material such as the following. Apparently most of it was sent in by listeners in response to some items that were broadcast earlier. I didn't hear the earlier stuff, but I did remember the following: NEW MADE FOR T.V. MOVIES AND SERIALS THAT YOU MAY HAVE MISSED ------------------------------------------------------------- Well folks, Fall River, Massachusetts is up for grabs again as Lizzie Borden is up to her old tricks on the new T. V. serial - LEAVE IT TO CLEAVER! Captain Kirk of the starship Enterprise spends over two hours in the laundry room trying to unstick his socks on this week's exciting chapter of Star Trek called - ATTACK OF THE STATIC KLINGONS! Luke Skywalker throws a wild pitch to Darth Vader and Darth is walked to first base. The plot thickens as Darth trys to steal second and is called out in the baseball/sci-fi thriller - THE UMPIRE STRIKES BACK! ( And now its amateur time. The following are mine/fellow worker's. ) Lech Wallensa, Fred Astaire, and Ginger Rogers star in the made for T.V. musical set in Poland -- MAY I HAVE THE NEXT DANSK? Martians begin a full scale invasion of the world and seem to be impregnable. Quick thinking scientists begin to flood the airwaves with old political speeches. The invaders begin to listen to this drivel and soon fall asleep at the controls of their flying saucers . The saucers crash and the world is saved in the thrilling sci-fi classic -- BORE OF THE WORLDS A middle aged arsonist has an unsuccessful affair with a teen-ager. His rejection turns to anger ( she had to spend too much time at cheerleader practice ) and he sets things on fire as he goes from affair to affair in search of true happiness in the soap opera -- AS THE WORLD BURNS A new sitcom based on the hilarious premise of a house of ill-repute disguised as a normal city bus in New Orleans in -- A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE A professional assassin appears each week as a guest to show in gory detail his latest murder on -- HIT PARADE An old, but wise, sultan decides on an optimum number of harem girls in the new series -- EIGHT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH! A new police series that promises to be most violent show ever. The show boasts the unrestricted use of firearms and will be called -- 30/30 Two elderly women try to set up a welfare fraud scheme at a nursing home in the heartwarming T.V. movie -- A TALE OF TWO BIDDIES Chuck Young at ihuxi!cjy ----------------------------------------------------------------- gopher://quux.org/ conversion by John Goerzen of http://communication.ucsd.edu/A-News/ This Usenet Oldnews Archive article may be copied and distributed freely, provided: 1. There is no money collected for the text(s) of the articles. 2. The following notice remains appended to each copy: The Usenet Oldnews Archive: Compilation Copyright (C) 1981, 1996 Bruce Jones, Henry Spencer, David Wiseman.