Aittvax.200 net.travel utcsrgv!utzoo!decvax!ittvax!swatt Wed Jan 20 19:17:18 1982 Fear and Loathing in Stuttgart Fear and Loathing in Stuttgart Alan S. Watt "Dawn - a time when men of reason go to bed." 1. Vorspiel Mornings are always hectic, especially if you arrive late so oth- ers can plan your day for without due process or opportunity to rebut. "Good morning Alan; you have a meeting at 11, and another at 3"; or "Good morning Alan; you are giving a presentation for Mr. XYZ at 2 on 'How Word Processing Technology can Combat the General Increase in Illiteracy'". This particular morning I arrived late because a stomach pain of the previous night was still with me the next day, which is very unusual. Nausea I don't mind; either it will go away soon or I vomit - in either case I feel better. Random, insistent, unexplained pains are the nemesis of the receding hairline generation. Is it ptomaine? an ulcer? a hernia? appen- dicitis? Psychologically, middle age is when you daily expect divine retribution for the youthful neglect and abuse of your body. Two extra hours in bed and a glass of water did nothing to abate the pain so I assumed going to work would not make it worse. Arriving this particular morning at 10:30 I was greeted with "Good morning Alan; you are leaving for Stuttgart tonight at 6". 2. Zwieschenspiel I like to travel, but generally I like to plan my trips further in advance than 8 hours. I always find that I have put off laun- dry for the past few days ("I have enough to get through tomor- row; I'll do it tonight ..."). When I come back after several weeks of sudden absence, the milk has gone sour; the ice cream has crystalized, the saltines are stale, and the postman has been practicing isometrics by cramming weeks' of shopping news circu- lars on top of letters from parents containing photographs of their latest trip to Tahiti. Letters from TPC (The Phone Com- pany) saying: "You have ignored our previous letters about your unpaid bill. We are turning over recordings of your phone conversations to the FBI ..." are always a thrill. 3. Sturm und Drang Traveling leaves me with so much unoccupied time I have no choice but to read. This trip I read that New York faces a crisis in the breakdown of its magnificent but aging water system, and plastic pellets used to reduce friction while loading crates on ships are washing overboard by the billions and entering the food chain of the Galapagos islands. I eat a snack, packaged in a cardboard box, wrapped in plas- tic, consisting of 2 breadsticks individually wrapped (plastic), a dish of cheese dip (in plastic), and 1/4 handful of "crunchy snack" in a sealed dish (plastic). I am cautiously testing for ulcers by sipping my second manhatten from a tumbler (plastic) with ice, stirred with a miniature airplane propeller (plastic). All of which the stewardess (I wonder ...) efficiently and smil- ingly collects and puts in a garbage bag (plastic). I wonder of the per-capita consumption of plastic is rising faster than the per-capita consumption of water in New York city. Maybe we will choke in our own plastic garbage before the Advanced Programming Environment has a chance to increase productivity by 500% in all those offices selling plastic products. Maybe we can stave off our own demise for several years by re-zoning the Galapagos Islands as an international sanitary landfill. ******* Next: There'll Always Be an England ******* ----------------------------------------------------------------- gopher://quux.org/ conversion by John Goerzen of http://communication.ucsd.edu/A-News/ This Usenet Oldnews Archive article may be copied and distributed freely, provided: 1. There is no money collected for the text(s) of the articles. 2. The following notice remains appended to each copy: The Usenet Oldnews Archive: Compilation Copyright (C) 1981, 1996 Bruce Jones, Henry Spencer, David Wiseman.