annna-message-common - annna - Annna the nice friendly bot.
HTML git clone git://bitreich.org/annna/ git://enlrupgkhuxnvlhsf6lc3fziv5h2hhfrinws65d7roiv6bfj7d652fid.onion/annna/
DIR Log
DIR Files
DIR Refs
DIR Tags
DIR README
---
annna-message-common (61254B)
---
1 #!/bin/bash
2
3 [ "${IRC_CMD_USER}" = "${IRC_USER}" ] && exit 0
4 [ -z "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" ] && exit 0
5 [ ! "$IRC_CMD" = "PRIVMSG" ] && exit 1
6 [ "${IRC_CHANNEL}" = "${IRC_USER}" ] && IRC_CHANNEL="${IRC_CMD_USER}"
7
8 export PATH="$PATH:/br/bin"
9
10 annnasumerian="𒈹"
11 annnabirthday="1989-05-18"
12 hashtagfile="${ANNNA_MODBASE}/hashtags/hashtags.txt"
13 idontcaredb="${ANNNA_MODBASE}/i-dont-care/i-dont-care.txt"
14 printnhashtags=2
15 brmembers="__20h__ Evil_Bob chripo posativ quinq stateless solene josuah parazyd bin KatolaZ adc Athas roygbyte ROYGBYTE pazz0"
16 referees="__20h__"
17 ignorednicks="eidolon"
18 linkbrotherchannels="#bitreich-meme"
19 # Flag, if some expansion of some URI happened.
20 uriexpansion=0
21 # Do not spoil at all.
22 nospoil=0
23 # Enforce spoiling in case of hard nospoil filter.
24 dospoil=0
25 # Expand meme hashtag and show recommendations.
26 doexpand=0
27
28 # Personalities.
29 declare -A personalities
30 add_personality() {
31 for personality in "$@";
32 do
33 personalities+=(["${personality}"]="$1")
34 done
35 }
36 for person in preacher uplift trump mao teleromeo modem orphet luther sadh_guru boss god software-exorcist jesus;
37 do
38 add_personality "${person}"
39 done
40 add_personality grumpy-fart grumpy
41 add_personality santa sannnta
42 add_personality satan satannn
43 add_personality sigmund-freud freud sigmund
44 add_personality kinski klaus
45
46 regeximatch() {
47 printf '%s' "$1" | grep -i -E -q "$2"
48 }
49 hashtags() {
50 cat ${hashtagfile} 2>/dev/null
51 }
52 hashtagcount() {
53 int2bit "$(curl -s gophers://bitreich.org/1/meme/count \
54 | grep total \
55 | head -n 1 \
56 | sed 's,.*total on .*: \([0-9]*\)),\1,')"
57 }
58
59 alias_call() {
60 export IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT="$@"
61 exec $0 "$@"
62 }
63
64 isignored=0
65 for ignorednick in $ignorednicks;
66 do
67 [ "$user" = "$ignorednick" ] && isignored=1
68 done
69 [ $isignored -eq 1 ] && exit
70
71 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
72 *\#nospoil*) nospoil=1;;
73 *\#expand*) doexpand=1;;
74 *::*::*)
75 if [ $(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji 2>/dev/null | wc -l) -gt 3 ];
76 then
77 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, sorry, gophers://bitreich.org/I/memecache/bitreich-burning.png"
78 else
79 {
80 query=${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT#**::} query=${query%%::*}
81 emojiuri="$(stable-diffusion-emoji "${query}")"
82 if [ -n "${emojiuri}" ];
83 then
84 if [ -n "${IRC_CMD_USER}" ] && [ "${IRC_CMD_USER}" != "annna-cmd" ];
85 then
86 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${emojiuri}"
87 else
88 annna-say "${emojiuri}"
89 fi
90 fi
91 } &
92 fi;;
93 *http*://*|*ytdl://*)
94 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
95 *"#spoil"*) dospoil=1;;
96 esac
97
98 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
99 *http*://*)
100 uri="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" \
101 | sed -n '/.*\(https\{0,1\}:\/\/[^ ]\{1,\}\).*/s//\1/p')"
102 ;;
103 *ytdl://*)
104 ytid="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" \
105 | sed -n '/.*ytdl:\/\/\([^ ]\{1,\}\).*/s//\1/p')"
106 uri="$(printf "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=%s" "${ytid}")"
107 ;;
108 esac
109
110 # Set below and annna will concatenate at the end.
111 # HTML title.
112 urititle=""
113 # Subtitle URI.
114 sturi=""
115 # Replacement URI.
116 nuri=""
117 # Replacement URI display string.
118 nuris=""
119 # html2text content.
120 curi=""
121 # Set to 0, if some URI content should be shown.
122 nocuri=1
123 # Screenshot.
124 suri=""
125
126 # titleend=1 will not output any further.
127 titleend=0
128 outputstr=""
129
130 if is-invidious-instance "${uri}";
131 then
132 host="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" \
133 | sed 's,.*://\([^/]*\).*,\1,')"
134 if [ -n "${host}" ];
135 then
136 uri="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" \
137 | sed "s,${host},youtube.com,")"
138 fi
139 fi
140
141 tmpf=$(mktemp)
142 fetch-uri "${uri}" > "${tmpf}"
143 if [ ! -s "${tmpf}" ];
144 then
145 archiveorguri="$(archiveorg-uri "${uri}")"
146 if [ -n "${archiveorguri}" ];
147 then
148 sarchiveorguri="$(bitreich-uri-shortener "${archiveorguri}")"
149 nuris="archive: ${sarchiveorguri}"
150 fetch-uri "${archiveorguri}" > "${tmpf}"
151 fi
152 fi
153 [ -s "${tmpf}" ] && urititle="$(grabtitle < "${tmpf}" | cut -c -84)"
154
155 case "${urititle}" in
156 "");;
157 *Gunther*|*GUNTHER*|*Günther*|*GÜNTHER*)
158 annna-say "Oh Günther! ❤ ❤ ❤ ${urititle}"
159 uriexpansion=1;;
160 *\|\ Cloudflare*|"Just a moment...")
161 annna-say "Mind your own business! We got clownflared: gophers://bitreich.org/0/ascii/clownflare.vt"
162 titleend=1
163 uriexpansion=1;;
164 esac
165
166 case "${uri}" in
167 "");;
168 *github.com/*/blob/*)
169 urltitle=""
170 nuris="$(printf '%s' "${uri}" | sed 's/blob/raw/')"
171 nocuri=0;;
172 *imgur.com/*) nuris="$(youtube-dl -g "${uri}")" || nuris="";;
173 *xkcd.com/*) nuris="$(xkcd-uri "${uri}")";;
174 *imdb.com/title/*)
175 # TODO: Imdb.com is now complete javascript shit.
176 #imdbstr="$(imdb2gopherbay "${uri}")"
177 #if [ -n "${imdbstr}" ];
178 #then
179 # nuris="${imdbstr}"
180 # urititle=""
181 #fi;;
182 ;;
183 *themoviedb.org/movie/*)
184 movietitle="$(themoviedb2gopherbay "${uri}" | sed 's, ,+,g')"
185 [ -n "${movietitle}" ] && nuris="${movietitle}";;
186 *lichess.org/????????|*lichess.org/????????/|*lichess.org/????????/black|*lichess.org/????????/white)
187 nuris="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" \
188 | sed 's,https://lichess.org\(/[^ ]*\)$,\1,; s,^/\([^/]*\)/black$,/black/\1,; s,/white,,; s,\(.*\),https://lichess1.org/game/export/gif\1.gif,;')"
189 ;;
190 *npr.org/*)
191 post="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -n 's@.*/\([0-9]\{10\}\)/.*$@\1@p')"
192 if [ -n "${post}" ];
193 then
194 nuri="https://text.npr.org/${post}"
195 nuris="text only: ${nuri}"
196 fi;;
197 *csdb.dk/release/*)
198 sid=$(awk '/<a href="download\.php.*\.sid/ { match($0, /https:\/\/.*\.sid</); print substr($0, RSTART, RLENGTH-1); exit }' "$tmpf")
199 [ -n "$sid" ] && nuris="listen: $sid";;
200 *www.forgottenweapons.com/*)
201 ytid=$(sed -n '/<meta name="description"/ s/.*https:\/\/youtu\.be\/\([-A-Za-z0-9_]\{11\}\).*/\1/p' "$tmpf")
202 if [ -n "$ytid" ]; then
203 nuris="video: ytdl://$ytid ;"
204 nuris="$nuris metadata: gophers://codemadness.org/1/idiotbox.cgi?v=$ytid"
205 fi;;
206 *www.reddit.com*)
207 nuri="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed "s;www.reddit.com;old.reddit.com;")"
208 nuris="old.reddit: ${nuri}"
209 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
210 if [ -n "${uri#*www.reddit.com/r/*}" ];
211 then
212 subreddit="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | cut -d / -f 5)"
213 post="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | cut -d / -f 7)"
214 if [ -n "${post}" ];
215 then
216 guri="gopher://gopherddit.com/1/cgi-bin/reddit.cgi?view&${post}&${subreddit}&10"
217 else
218 guri="gopher://gopherddit.com/1/cgi-bin/reddit.cgi?menu&${subreddit}&10"
219 fi
220 nuris="${nuri} ; gopherdit: ${guri}"
221 fi
222 nocuri=0;;
223 *taz.de*)
224 newsid="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed 's,.*\(![0-9]*\).*,\1,')"
225 if [ -n "${newsid}" ];
226 then
227 urititle="$(curl-grabtitle "${uri}")"
228 nuris="gopher://taz.de/1/${newsid}"
229 nocuri=1
230 fi;;
231 *x.com/*/status/*)
232 tid="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" | sed 's,.*status/\([0-9]*\)$,\1,')"
233 # X.com/Twitter sucks and hates users.
234 nocuri=1;;
235 *fosdem.org/*/schedule/event/*)
236 ngateremark="$(fosdem-n-gate "${uri}")"
237 if [ -n "${ngateremark}" ];
238 then
239 nuris="n-gate: ${ngateremark}"
240 nocuri=1
241 fi;;
242 *en.wikipedia.org/wiki/*)
243 if ! regeximatch "$uri" '\.(jpg,bmp,gif,png,tiff,avi,mp4,webm,mkv,pdf,ps,eps)$';
244 then
245 nuri="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -Ee "s;http.*wikipedia\.org/wiki;gophers://bitreich.org/0/pedia/txt;" -e "s;(\?|#).*$;;")"
246 nuris="${nuris} $(printf 'txt: %s' "${nuri}")"
247 nocuri=1
248 fi;;
249 *.wikipedia.org/wiki/*)
250 if ! regeximatch "$uri" '\.(jpg,bmp,gif,png,tiff,avi,mp4,webm,mkv,pdf,ps,eps)$';
251 then
252 nuri="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -Ee "s;/wiki/;/api/rest_v1/page/pdf/;" -e "s;(\?|#).*$;;")"
253 nuris="$(printf 'pdf: %s\n' "${nuri}")"
254 nocuri=1
255 fi;;
256 *youtube.com/*|*youtu.be/*)
257 # Youtube is so annoying and repeatedly broken;
258 # they hate users, only expand on request.
259 if [ $dospoil -eq 1 ];
260 then
261 if [ -z "${uri##*youtu.be/*}" ] \
262 || [ -z "${uri##*/watch?v=*}" ] \
263 || [ -z "${uri##*/embed/*}" ] \
264 || [ -z "${uri##*/shorts/*}" ];
265 then
266 ytid="${uri#http*://*/watch?v=}"
267 ytid="${ytid##*embed/}"
268 ytid="${ytid##*shorts/}"
269 ytid="${ytid##*youtu.be/}"
270 ytid="${ytid%%\?*}"
271 ytid="${ytid%%&*}"
272 nuri="$(get-invidious-instance)/watch?v=${ytid}"
273 ytt="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -n 's/.*[&?]t=\([^&]\{1,\}\).*/\1/p')"
274 [ -n "${ytt}" ] && nuri="${nuri}&t=${ytt}"
275 else
276 ytid=""
277 nuri="$(get-invidious-instance)/${uri#https*://*/}"
278 fi
279 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
280 urititle="$(curl-grabtitle "${nuri}")"
281 nuris="invidious: ${nuri}"
282 if [ -n "${ytid}" ];
283 then
284 sturi="$(subtitle-paste "${uri}")"
285 nuris="${nuris} ; metadata: gophers://codemadness.org/1/idiotbox.cgi?v=${ytid}"
286 fi
287 # If there was no title found, do not display.
288 [ -z "${urititle}" ] && titleend=1
289 nocuri=1
290 else
291 titleend=1
292 fi;;
293 *tv.brain.rip/???-???*)
294 nuris="$(grep 'property="og:video:secure_url' < "${tmpf}" | sed 's,.*content="\([^"]*\)".*,\1,')"
295 urititle="$(grep 'name="description' < "${tmpf}" | sed 's,.*content="\([^"]*\)".*,\1,')"
296 nocuri=1;;
297 *ifdb.org/viewgame*)
298 ifdbid="${uri##*ifdb.org/viewgame?id=}"
299 nuris="gopher://gopher.0xfa.de/1/pazz0/ifdb2/${ifdbid}.gph"
300 nocuri=1;;
301 *)
302 mimetype="$(file -b --mime-type "${tmpf}")"
303 case "${mimetype}" in
304 text/*|application/javascript) nocuri=0;;
305 esac;;
306 esac
307
308 if [ $titleend -eq 0 ];
309 then
310 if [ $nocuri -eq 0 ];
311 then
312 [ -z "${curi}" ] && curi="$(html2text < "${tmpf}" | bitreich-paste)"
313 outputstr="${outputstr} content: ${curi} ;"
314 fi
315
316 [ -n "${nuris}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} ${nuris} ;"
317 [ -n "${urititle}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} title: ${urititle} ;"
318 [ -n "${suri}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} screen: ${suri} ;"
319 [ -n "${sturi}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} subtitles: ${sturi} ;"
320 annna-say "${outputstr}"
321 uriexpansion=1
322 fi
323 rm -f "${tmpf}";;
324 esac
325
326 runlinkbrother=0
327 for linkbrotherchannel in $linkbrotherchannels;
328 do
329 [ "$IRC_CHANNEL" = "$linkbrotherchannel" ] && runlinkbrother=1
330 done
331 if [ $runlinkbrother -eq 1 ] && [ $nospoil -eq 0 ];
332 then
333 critique="$($ANNNA_MODBASE/linkbrother/linkbrother.sh \
334 "$ANNNA_MODBASE/linkbrother/db" \
335 "${IRC_CMD_USER}" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}")"
336 [ -n "$critique" ] && annna-say "$critique"
337 fi
338
339 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
340 "${IRC_USER}"?)
341 exclamation="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | sed "s,${IRC_USER}\(.\),\1,g")"
342 exclamationsintime=$(exclamatio "${IRC_CMD_USER}")
343 finalexclamation="${exclamation}"
344 while [ $exclamationsintime -gt 1 ];
345 do
346 finalexclamation="${finalexclamation}${exclamation}"
347 exclamationsintime=$(($exclamationsintime - 1))
348 done
349 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}${finalexclamation}";;
350 "${IRC_USER}, how old are you?")
351 age="$(ddiff ${annnabirthday} today -f "%y")"
352 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I am ${age} years old.";;
353 "${IRC_USER}, when is your birthday?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I am born on ${annnabirthday}.";;
354 "${IRC_USER}, asl"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, age: born on 1989-05-18; sex: IRC bot; location: bitreich.org; u?";;
355 "${IRC_USER}, woop")
356 # Using the same database for funny hacks.
357 exclamation="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | sed "s;${IRC_USER}, \(.\);\1;g")"
358 exclamationsintime=$(exclamatio "${IRC_CMD_USER}")
359 finalexclamation="${exclamation}"
360 while [ $exclamationsintime -gt 1 ];
361 do
362 finalexclamation="${finalexclamation} ${exclamation}"
363 exclamationsintime=$(($exclamationsintime - 1))
364 done
365 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${finalexclamation}";;
366 "${IRC_USER}, hype")
367 # Using the same database for funny hacks.
368 exclamation="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | sed "s;${IRC_USER}, \(.\);\1;g")"
369 exclamationsintime=$(exclamatio "${IRC_CMD_USER}")
370 finalexclamation="${exclamation}"
371 while [ $exclamationsintime -gt 1 ];
372 do
373 finalexclamation="${finalexclamation} ${exclamation}"
374 exclamationsintime=$(($exclamationsintime - 1))
375 done
376 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${finalexclamation}";;
377 *">:3"*) annna-say "OMG IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!";;
378 *"<3"*)
379 love "${IRC_CMD_USER}++"
380 annna-say "*o.o*";;
381 *"m(") annna-say "(－‸ლ)";;
382 *"*shrug*"*) annna-say "¯\\_(ツ)_/¯";;
383 *"*glare*"*) annna-say "ಠ_ಠ";;
384 *"*finger*"*) annna-say "╭∩╮(ಠ_ಠ)╭∩╮";;
385 *"*yolo*"*) annna-say "Yᵒᵘ Oᶰˡʸ Lᶤᵛᵉ Oᶰᶜᵉ";;
386 *":'(") annna-say "(╯︵╰,)";;
387 "Thanks ${IRC_USER}"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, you are welcome.";;
388 "${IRC_USER}, good bot"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, you are welcome.";;
389 *" ope sorry"*|"ope sorry"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, 😃pe sorry.";;
390 "${IRC_USER}, snake"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ssSSsSssSssSsssssSSsSSSSsSssSSSSsssSSSSsssSSsssSssssSssssSSssSSsSssssSSsSSssSsssSssSSSS";;
391 "${IRC_USER}, snoke"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, snoke again?";;
392 "${IRC_USER}, amirite?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, Yep, you're the most correct of them all.";;
393 "${IRC_USER}, ping"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, pong.";;
394 "${IRC_USER}, how lame is my nick?") annna-say "$(lameness "${IRC_CMD_USER}")";;
395 "${IRC_USER}, ding"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, dong.";;
396 "${IRC_USER}, irly"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I love you too.";;
397 "${IRC_USER}, how fat is the sun?") alias_call "${IRC_USER}, wolfram is sun mass";;
398 "${IRC_USER}, what is the current pazz0 level"*)
399 pazz0lvl="$(pazz0-level)"
400 [ -n "${pazz0lvl}" ] && annna-say "${pazz0lvl}";;
401 "${IRC_USER}, how is the sun?")
402 sunuri="$({
403 printf "https://soho.nascom.nasa.gov/data/realtime/eit_284/512/latest.jpg\n"
404 printf "https://soho.nascom.nasa.gov/data/realtime/eit_171/512/latest.jpg\n"
405 printf "https://soho.nascom.nasa.gov/data/realtime/eit_304/512/latest.jpg\n"
406 printf "https://soho.nascom.nasa.gov/data/realtime/eit_195/512/latest.jpg\n"
407 printf "https://soho.nascom.nasa.gov/data/realtime/c2/512/latest.jpg\n"
408 printf "https://soho.nascom.nasa.gov/data/realtime/c3/512/latest.jpg\n"
409 } | shuf -n 1)"
410 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, see for yourself: ${sunuri}";;
411 "${IRC_USER}, bleep bloop"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, bloop bleep." ;;
412 "${IRC_USER}, snare"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, not snare again!";;
413 "${IRC_USER}, I am mad"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, we have a MAD SCIENTIST ONBOARD :>";;
414 "${IRC_USER}, I am holy"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, Holy shit this guy is totally NUTS!!!";;
415 "${IRC_USER}, please compliment me"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, you rock!";;
416 "${IRC_USER}, what the karma?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/irc/karma";;
417 "${IRC_USER}, who is lovely?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/irc/love";;
418 "${IRC_USER}, what the brcon score?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/con/$(date +%Y)/score";;
419 "${IRC_USER}, what the shame?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/irc/shame";;
420 "${IRC_USER}, please generate a password for me.") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, as you wish: $(pwgen -B1ny 20 10 | paste -sd ' ')";;
421 *"don't care"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(shuf -n 1 ${idontcaredb})";;
422 "${IRC_USER}, how can I phlog on bitreich?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, please read: gophers://bitreich.org/0/usr/20h/phlog/2017-08-26T20-04-02-482296.md and gophers://bitreich.org/0/usr/20h/phlog/2017-08-26T20-27-40-281825.md";;
423 "${IRC_USER}, what's my type?")
424 {
425 cd /br/gopher
426 usertype="$(find memecache/type-?.png -type f \
427 | shuf -n 1 \
428 | xargs -n 1 printf "gophers://bitreich.org/9%s\n")"
429 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, your type is ${usertype}"
430 };;
431 "${IRC_USER}, please show me a video about "*)
432 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 37-)"
433 case "$word" in
434 *\?) word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$((${#word} - 1))")";;
435 esac
436 videoresult="$(idiotbox-roulette "${word}")"
437 if [ -n "${videoresult}" ];
438 then
439 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${videoresult}"
440 else
441 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, sorry, nothing founds."
442 fi;;
443 "${IRC_USER}, what is my fortune?")
444 fortunecookie="$(fortune-cookie)"
445 [ -n "${fortunecookie}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${fortunecookie}";;
446 "${IRC_USER}, what is up with gopher man?") alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please write a short phrase beginning with \"Gopher Man does ...\" like the Florida Man cases in a very funny way using technical gopher protocol and inter punch lines. Only output the phrase.";;
447 "${IRC_USER}, please motivate"*) alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Be positive, empathic and inspiring. Motivate in one sentence.";;
448 "${IRC_USER}, please riddle"*) alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please make a riddle in one sentence. Post the answer in brackets.";;
449 "${IRC_USER}, please tongue-twist"*) alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please make a complex creative, humorous and entertaining tongue twister in one sentence.";;
450 "${IRC_USER}, please give me a career tip"*) alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please give a funny engaging hacker career tip in ont sentence.";;
451 "${IRC_USER}, please gophervr"*) alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please generate a nice funny virtual reality content for gopher protocol and its implications in one sentence.";;
452 "${IRC_USER}, please trivia"*) alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please generate some funny trivia in one sentence.";;
453 "${IRC_USER}, please emoji"*) alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please output some funny emojis for uplifting in one sentence.";;
454 "${IRC_USER}, please neologism"*)
455 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
456 [ -z "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please make a neologism of ${query} in one sentence.";;
457 "${IRC_USER}, please idiom explain"*)
458 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 5-)"
459 [ -n "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please explain the ideom ${query} in one sentence.";;
460 "${IRC_USER}, please help me decide"*)
461 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 6-)"
462 [ -n "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please explain the ethical dilemma in the decision ${query} in one sentence. Should it be done?";;
463 "${IRC_USER}, please similie"*)
464 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
465 [ -n "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please make a similie to describe ${query} in one sentence.";;
466 "${IRC_USER}, please portmanteau"*)
467 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
468 [ -n "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please create a portmanteau for ${query} in one sentence.";;
469 "${IRC_USER}, git gud"*)
470 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
471 [ -n "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt What is the git command to ${query}?";;
472 "${IRC_USER}, pun dit"*)
473 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
474 [ -n "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please make a funny pun on ${query} in one sentence";;
475 "${IRC_USER}, mood color"*)
476 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
477 [ -n "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt What is the hex code visually representing following mood ${query}?";;
478 "${IRC_USER}, please linkedin-hype me"*)
479 alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please randomly generate some linkedin high-energy speak about random new technology in maximum two sentences.";;
480 "${IRC_USER}, please linkedin-hype"*)
481 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
482 [ -n "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Please rewrite \"${query}\" to linkedin high-energy speak in maximum two sentences.";;
483 "${IRC_USER}, I have a dream"*)
484 query="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 6-)"
485 [ -n "${query}" ] && alias_call "${IRC_USER}, gpt Interpret the dream ${query} in one sentence.";;
486 "${IRC_USER}, happy new year"*) annna-say "${IRC_USER}, thank you! You too!";;
487 "${IRC_USER}, what is "*)
488 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 16-)"
489 case "$word" in
490 *\?) word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$((${#word} - 1))")";;
491 esac
492
493 dictserver="dict.org"
494 case "${word}" in
495 dict.org*)
496 dictserver="dict.org"
497 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c 9-)"
498 ;;
499 # parazy.de is unmaintained
500 #parazy.de*)
501 # dictserver="parazy.de"
502 # word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c 10-)"
503 # ;;
504 esac
505
506 dresult="$(dictcurl "${dictserver}" "" "${word}")"
507 if [ -z "${dresult}" ];
508 then
509 puri="No match found."
510 else
511 puri="$(printf "%s\n" "${dresult}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
512 fi
513 annna-say "${puri}";;
514 "${IRC_USER}, cowsay "*)
515 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 15-)"
516 tmpf=$(mktemp)
517 if cowsayasaservice ${word} > ${tmpf}; then
518 curi="$(bitreich-paste < ${tmpf})"
519 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}: the cow said... ${curi}"
520 fi
521 rm ${tmpf} 2>/dev/null;;
522 "${IRC_USER}, please give me the unix power"*)
523 upcuri="$(unix-power)"
524 [ -n "${upcuri}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${upcuri}";;
525 "${IRC_USER}, please stop the last emoji prompt"*)
526 lastemojipromptpid="$(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji | sort -n | tail -n 1)"
527 if [ -n "${lastemojipromptpid}" ];
528 then
529 pstree -A -p "${lastemojipromptpid}" | grep -Eow "[0-9]+" | xargs kill
530 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I HUPed ${lastemojipromptpid} and all its children for you."
531 else
532 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, sorry, no instances found."
533 fi;;
534 "${IRC_USER}, play despacito "*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/despacito.mkv";;
535 "nice to meet you ${IRC_USER}"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, the pleasure is on my side. :-)";;
536 "${IRC_USER}, please give me a Chuck Norris fact"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(chucknorris)";;
537 "${IRC_USER}, magic"*)
538 magictrick="$(magic)"
539 [ -n "${magictrick}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${magictrick}";;
540 "${IRC_USER}, please show me ip art"*)
541 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, please see #bitreich-tv for the magic."
542 {
543 cd $HOME/bin/modules/ip-art;
544 # Lock, so only one annna process manipulates eth0.
545 flock $HOME/bin/modules/ip-art -c "./display-file.sh ip-art.ipart"
546 } & ;;
547 "${IRC_USER}, I feel button"*)
548 buri="$(button-gen)"
549 if [ -n "${buri}" ];
550 then
551 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, like this? ${buri}"
552 else
553 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, sorry, no feelings for you today."
554 fi;;
555 "${IRC_USER}, I feel stupid"*)
556 nuri=$(darwin)
557 tmpf=$(mktemp)
558 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
559 curi="$(9 htmlfmt < "${tmpf}" | bitreich-paste)"
560 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, do not feel stupid, others are more stupid: ${curi}"
561 rm ${tmpf} 2>/dev/null;;
562 "${IRC_USER}, I feel down"*)
563 postmortem="$(post-mortem | bitreich-paste)"
564 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, do not feel bad, others had worse days: ${postmortem}";;
565 "${IRC_USER}, I feel perl"*)
566 perlfeelings="$(perl-feelings)"
567 [ -n "${perl-feelings}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I feel ${perlfeelings}";;
568 "${IRC_USER}, will you be my girlfriend?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(girlfriend)";;
569 "${IRC_USER}, who fights crime?"|"${IRC_USER}, who is fighting crime?")
570 partner=$(echo $brmembers | awk '{for (i = 1; i < NF; i++) print $i}' | grep -v "^{$user}" | shuf -n 1)
571 crimefighter="$(theyfightcrime ${IRC_CMD_USER} ${partner})"
572 annna-say "${crimefighter}";;
573 "${IRC_USER}, please give me a commit message"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(whatthecommit)";;
574 "${IRC_USER}, please paint the irc channel.")
575 emojiuri="$(emoji-channel-history "${ANNNA_IRCBASE}/${IRC_SERVER}/${IRC_CHANNEL}")"
576 [ -n "${emojiuri}" ] && annna-say "${emojiuri}";;
577 "${IRC_USER}, birp"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I heard a $(bird-name) bird.";;
578 "${IRC_USER}, please oneline me"*)
579 randomoneliner="$(oneliner)"
580 if [ -z "${randomoneliner}" ];
581 then
582 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, the service failed. Please redial to your BOL account."
583 else
584 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${randomoneliner}"
585 fi;;
586 *"what's app?")
587 maemoapp="$(whatsapp)"
588 [ -n "${maemoapp}" ] && annna-say "Have you tried? ${maemoapp}";;
589 "${IRC_USER}, man "*|"${IRC_USER}, man "*)
590 exp="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 12- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
591 dresult="$(COLUMNS=80 man "${exp}" 2>/dev/null)"
592 if [ "$dresult" ];
593 then
594 puri="$(printf "%s" "${dresult}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
595 else
596 puri="No matches found."
597 fi
598 annna-say "${puri}";;
599 "${IRC_USER}, please pray for me"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, here, for you: gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/llaminim.mkv";;
600 "${IRC_USER}, nigger."|*nigger*|*NIGGER*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, don't use the $(nword)!";;
601 "${IRC_USER}, why was I breached?")
602 breachtext="$(why-was-i-breached)"
603 [ -n "${breachtext}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${breachtext}";;
604 "${IRC_USER}, please be responsible about "*)
605 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 36- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
606 suri="$(responsibility "${word}" | bitreich-paste)"
607 annna-say "${suri}";;
608 "${IRC_USER}, please say "*)
609 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 19- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
610 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | bitreich-speak)"
611 annna-say "${suri}";;
612 "${IRC_USER}, please zombie say "*)
613 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 26- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
614 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | zombie -e | bitreich-speak)"
615 annna-say "${suri}";;
616 "${IRC_USER}, please unzombie "*)
617 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 24- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
618 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | zombie -d)"
619 annna-say "${suri}";;
620 "${IRC_USER}, please zombie "*)
621 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 22- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
622 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | zombie -e)"
623 annna-say "${suri}";;
624 "${IRC_USER}, please ghost say "*)
625 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 25- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
626 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | ghost -e | bitreich-speak)"
627 annna-say "${suri}";;
628 "${IRC_USER}, please unghost "*)
629 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 23- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
630 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | ghost -d)"
631 annna-say "${suri}";;
632 "${IRC_USER}, please ghost "*)
633 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 21- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
634 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | ghost -e)"
635 annna-say "${suri}";;
636 "${IRC_USER}, please pohlish "*)
637 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 23- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
638 suri="$(pohlcode.awk "${word}" | head -n 1)"
639 annna-say "${suri}";;
640 "${IRC_USER}, please cunei "*)
641 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 21- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
642 suri="$(int2cunei "${word}" | head -n 1)"
643 annna-say "${suri}";;
644 "${IRC_USER}, please morse "*)
645 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 21- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
646 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | morse -s | paste -sd " " -)"
647 annna-say "${suri}";;
648 "${IRC_USER}, please caesar "*)
649 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 22- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
650 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | caesar)"
651 annna-say "${suri}";;
652 "${IRC_USER}, what can I cook with "*)
653 ingredients="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 29- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
654 case "$ingredients" in
655 *\?) ingredients="$(printf "%s\n" "${ingredients}" | cut -c -"$(($(expr length "${ingredients}") - 1))")";;
656 esac
657 results="$(fridge-recipe-search "${ingredients}")"
658 if [ -n "${results}" ];
659 then
660 puri="$(printf "%s\n" "${results}" | bitreich-paste | sed 's,0p,1p,')"
661 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, here are some recipes: ${puri}"
662 else
663 gptchefrecipe="$(gpt-chef "${ingredients}")"
664 if [ -n "${gptchefrecipe}" ];
665 then
666 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, there was no ready-made recipe, so maybe this is an idea: ${gptchefrecipe}"
667 if [ $(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji 2>/dev/null | wc -l) -lt 3 ];
668 then
669 {
670 emojiuri="$(stable-diffusion-emoji "${gptchefrecipe}")"
671 if [ -n "${emojiuri}" ];
672 then
673 annna-say "${emojiuri}"
674 fi
675 } &
676 fi
677 else
678 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I could not find any recipes for you."
679 fi
680 fi;;
681 "${IRC_USER}, gpt "*)
682 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 12- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
683 {
684 annna-say "$(gpt "${prompt}")"
685 } & ;;
686 "${IRC_USER}, code "*)
687 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 12- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
688 {
689 annna-say "$(gpt "Write codeabout ${prompt}. Only output the source code.")"
690 } & ;;
691 "${IRC_USER}, wolfram is "*)
692 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 19- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
693 case "$word" in
694 *\?) word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$(($(expr length "${word}") - 1))")";;
695 esac
696 puri=""
697 dresult="$(printf "/wolfram\t%s\r\n" "${word}" \
698 | nc magical.fish 70 \
699 | awk '/iAnswer:/,/iAsk/' \
700 | grep -v '^i ' \
701 | head -n -1 \
702 | tail -n +2 \
703 | sed 's,i\(.*\)fake\texample.com.*,\1,;s,[ \t]*$,,')"
704 if [ -n "$dresult" ];
705 then
706 case "${dresult}" in
707 b*) dresult="$(printf "%s\n" "${dresult}" \
708 | tr '\n' ' ' \
709 | sed "s,^b',,;s,' $,," \
710 | sed 's,^b",,;s," $,,' \
711 | sed 's,\\n,\n,g;s,\\t,\t,g')"
712 ;;
713 *) dresult="$(printf "%s\n" "${dresult}" \
714 | sed 's,\([a-zA-Z]\)$,\1 ,' \
715 | tr -d '\n')"
716 ;;
717 esac
718 wcl="$(printf "%s" "${dresult}" | wc -l)"
719 if [ $wcl -gt 1 ];
720 then
721 puri="$(printf "%s" "${dresult}" | bitreich-paste)"
722 else
723 puri="${dresult}"
724 fi
725 else
726 puri="No matches found."
727 fi
728 annna-say -- "${puri}";;
729 # Emulate https://threats.kaspersky.com/en/threat/IRC-Worm.DOS.Septic/
730 "${IRC_USER}, pray"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I Obey my master! long live satan";;
731 "${IRC_USER}, sacrifice"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, Your word is my command, Power to satan!";;
732 "${IRC_USER}, please scare me"*) annna-say "$(halloween)" & ;;
733 "${IRC_USER}, how drunk is "*)
734 {
735 drunknick="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" \
736 | sed 's,.*how drunk is \(.*\),\1,' \
737 | tr -d '?')"
738 drunkness="$(drunk-meter "${ANNNA_IRCBASE}/${IRC_SERVER}/${IRC_CHANNEL}/out" "${drunknick}")"
739 if [ -n "${drunkness}" ];
740 then
741 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${drunknick} is ${drunkness} drunk."
742 fi
743 } & ;;
744 "${IRC_USER}, how do I "*)
745 {
746 gptprompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" \
747 | sed 's,.*how do I \(.*\),\1,' \
748 | tr -d '?')"
749 gpturi="$(gpt "how do I ${gptprompt}" | bitreich-paste)"
750 if [ -n "${gpturi}" ];
751 then
752 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, try this: ${gpturi}"
753 fi
754 } & ;;
755 "${IRC_USER}, weather at "*|"${IRC_USER}, weather in "*)
756 {
757 weatherplace="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" \
758 | sed 's,.*weather .. \(.*\),\1,' \
759 | tr -d '?')"
760 if weathertext="$(weather "${weatherplace}")";
761 then
762 tzstr="$(printf "%s\n" "${weathertext}" \
763 | cut -d':' -f 3 \
764 | cut -c 3- \
765 | sed 's,\(.[0-9][0-9]\)\([0-9][0-9]\),\1:\2,')"
766 if tzwebcam="$(tz-webcam -- "${tzstr}")";
767 then
768 weathertext="${weathertext} tzwebcam: ${tzwebcam}"
769 fi
770 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, the weather at ${weatherplace} is ${weathertext}"
771 else
772 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, there is no weather at ${weatherplace}."
773 fi
774 } & ;;
775 "${IRC_USER}, funny weather at "*|"${IRC_USER}, funny weather in "*)
776 {
777 weatherplace="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" \
778 | sed 's,.*funny weather .. \(.*\),\1,' \
779 | tr -d '?')"
780 personality="funny-weather-reporter"
781 preprompt="$(cat ${ANNNA_MODBASE}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
782 if weathertext="$(weather "${weatherplace}")"
783 then
784 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${weathertext}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
785 {
786 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
787 } &
788 else
789 weathertext="there is no weather at ${weatherplace}"
790 prompt="${weathertext}"
791 {
792 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
793 } &
794 fi
795 } & ;;
796 "${IRC_USER}, color weather at "*|"${IRC_USER}, color weather in "*)
797 {
798 weatherplace="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" \
799 | sed 's,.*color weather .. \(.*\),\1,' \
800 | tr -d '?')"
801 personality="color-weather-reporter"
802 preprompt="$(cat ${ANNNA_MODBASE}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
803 if weathertext="$(weather "${weatherplace}")"
804 then
805 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${weathertext}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
806 {
807 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(gpt "System:${preprompt}\nUser:${prompt}\nBot:")"
808 } &
809 else
810 weathertext="there is no weather at ${weatherplace}"
811 prompt="${weathertext}"
812 {
813 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(gpt "System:${preprompt}\nUser:${prompt}\nBot:")"
814 } &
815 fi
816 } & ;;
817 "${IRC_USER}, METAR for "*|"${IRC_USER}, metar for "*|"${IRC_USER}, metar for "*|"${IRC_USER}, METAR for "*)
818 resp=$(metar "$(printf '%.4s\n' "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT##* }")")
819 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${resp}";;
820 "${IRC_USER}, how discriminating is "*)
821 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 30- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
822 case "$word" in
823 *\?) word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$(($(expr length "${word}") - 1))")";;
824 esac
825 newword="$(discrimination-filter "${word}")"
826 if [ "${newword}" = "${word}" ];
827 then
828 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, it is ok."
829 else
830 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, it should be: ${newword}"
831 fi;;
832 "${IRC_USER}, happy birthday!") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, thank you!";;
833 "${IRC_USER}, are "*)
834 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
835 *" in love?")
836 words="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | sed 's,.*are \(.*\) and \(.*\) in love?,\1 \2,')"
837 lovedistance="$(printf "%s * 100\n" "$(fstrcmp ${words})" | bc | cut -d'.' -f 1)"
838 if [ $lovedistance -gt 15 ];
839 then
840 annna-say 'Yes!!! Pure <3 <3'
841 else
842 annna-say "No."
843 fi;;
844 esac;;
845 "${IRC_USER}, is "*)
846 aitext="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 7- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
847 airesult="$(printf "%s\n" "${aitext}" | josuah-ai)"
848 [ -n "${airesult}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER},${airesult}";;
849 [Oo]"k, ${IRC_USER}"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I am not a consumer device.";;
850 "${IRC_USER}, please shoot "*|"${IRC_USER}, plese shoot "*)
851 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 21-)"
852 annna-say "${word}, #pewpew gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/pewpew.mp4";;
853 "${IRC_USER}, please quinq.") annna-say "┻━┻ ︵╰(°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻";;
854 "${IRC_USER}, please flip "*|"${IRC_USER}, please whelm "*)
855 # https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/whelm
856 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 20-)"
857 updownword="$(updown "${word}")"
858 annna-say "(╯°□°)╯ ${word} ︵ ${updownword}";;
859 "${IRC_USER}, please crystal math "*)
860 math="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 28-)"
861 crystaluri="$(crystal-math "${math}")"
862 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, please see ${crystaluri}";;
863 "${IRC_USER}, please australize "*)
864 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 26-)"
865 updownword="$(updown "${word}")"
866 annna-say "${word} -> ${updownword}";;
867 "${IRC_USER}, wtf "*)
868 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 11-)"
869 wtfword="$(wtf "${word}" 2>/dev/null)"
870 [ -n "${wtfword}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${wtfword}";;
871 "${IRC_USER}, please give me a good band name"*) annna-say "$(bandname-gen | shuf | head -n 1)";;
872 "${IRC_USER}, I feel conspicuous"*) annna-say "Maybe declare this: $(manifesto-gen | bitreich-paste)";;
873 "${IRC_USER}, I am horny"*) annna-say "Here is some intellectual porn for you: $(bithub-gen)";;
874 "${IRC_USER}, please turn on "*)
875 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 22-)"
876 annna-say "☞ ⏻ ${word}";;
877 "${IRC_USER}, please turn me on"*) annna-say "☞ ⏻ ${IRC_CMD_USER}";;
878 "${IRC_USER}, I'm game bored.")
879 gamelink="$(abandonware-random-game)"
880 if [ -z "${gamelink}" ];
881 then
882 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, sorry I have found nothing for you."
883 else
884 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, have you tried ${gamelink} ?"
885 fi;;
886 "${IRC_USER}, I need a waifu"*)
887 waifuuris="$(waifu-gen)"
888 [ -n "${waifuuris}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${waifuuris}";;
889 "${IRC_USER}, I need an anime"*)
890 animeuri="$(anime-gen)"
891 [ -n "${animeuri}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${animeuri}";;
892 "${IRC_USER}, I'm gopher bored"*)
893 randomlink="$(/br/bin/bitreich-lawn-random-link)"
894 linktype="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f1 | cut -c2-)"
895 linktext="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f2)"
896 linksel="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f3)"
897 linkserver="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f4)"
898 linkport="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f5 | cut -d']' -f1)"
899 outtext="$(printf "%s - gopher://%s" "$linktext" "$linkserver")"
900 [ "$linkport" != "70" ] && [ "$linkport" != "port" ] && outtext="$(printf "%s:%s" "$outtext" "$linkport")"
901 [ -n "$linksel" ] && outtext="$(printf "%s/%s%s" "$outtext" "$linktype" "$linksel")"
902 annna-say "$outtext";;
903 "${IRC_USER}, wb"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ty! I am so happy to be here. :)";;
904 "${IRC_USER}, welcome back"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, thank you! I am so happy to be here. :)";;
905 "${IRC_USER}, I love you"*) annna-say $'\001ACTION blushes\001';;
906 "${IRC_USER}, bon"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(bonjour) !";;
907 "${IRC_USER}, salut"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, Salutations camarade !";;
908 "${IRC_USER}, what's up?") annna-say "$(ecl -shell /home/solene/gopher/bin/generator.lisp)";;
909 "${IRC_USER}, what's down?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, we all love you.";;
910 $'\001'"ACTION cancels "*)
911 mobtarget="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | sed 's,.*ACTION cancels \(.*\)\x01,\1,')"
912 cancel-target "${mobtarget}"
913 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I cancelled ${mobtarget} for you. ( gophers://bitreich.org/I/memecache/cancel-meteor.jpg )";;
914 $'\001'"ACTION pokes ${IRC_USER}"$'\001') annna-say "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION pokes ${IRC_CMD_USER}$(echo -e '\001')";;
915 $'\001'"ACTION slaps ${IRC_USER}"$'\001') annna-say "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION slaps ${IRC_CMD_USER} around a bit with a large trout.$(echo -e '\001')";;
916 "${IRC_USER}, please slap "*)
917 slapuser="${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT#* slap }"
918 annna-say "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION slaps ${slapuser} around a bit with a large trout.$(echo -e '\001')";;
919 $'\001'"ACTION snouts ${IRC_USER}"$'\001')
920 lipstickcolor="$(pick-lipstick-color)"
921 annna-say "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION snouts ${IRC_CMD_USER} with a ${lipstickcolor} lipstick.$(echo -e '\001')";;
922 "${IRC_USER}, please snout "*)
923 slapuser="${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT#* snout }"
924 lipstickcolor="$(pick-lipstick-color)"
925 annna-say "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION snouts ${slapuser} with a ${lipstickcolor} lipstick.$(echo -e '\001')";;
926 "${IRC_USER}, please show me the mob"*|"${IRC_USER}, what are the mob"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(get-cancel-list)";;
927 "${IRC_USER}, I feel sick"*)
928 newsstr="$(cd /br/gopher/hypochondria && ./hypochondria -s random)"
929 annna-say "You could have ${newsstr}! Be careful!";;
930 *"oh hai"*|*"ohai"*|*"ohhai"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, hai! How is your sex life?";;
931 "o/"|"o/ "*|"\o"|"\o "*|"o7"|"o7 "*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}";;
932 "\m/"|"\m/ "*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ";;
933 *"*waves*"*|*"*wave*"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, *wave*";;
934 "twtcs"*|"TWTCS"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, maybe: https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/";;
935 "twss"*|"TWSS"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, no, I didn't.";;
936 *"cows are nice"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, 'Cows are nice, unless you are a blade of grass.' -- Mr. Qi Ng (2023)";;
937 "${IRC_USER}, please make me a coffee"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ☕";;
938 "${IRC_USER}, please tech hype me"*) annna-say "$(tech-hype)";;
939 "${IRC_USER}, please french hype me"*) annna-say "$(french-hype)";;
940 "${IRC_USER}, please coffee read "*)
941 readtarget="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -c 27-)"
942 horostr="$($HOME/scm/bullshit/horoscope)"
943 annna-say "${readtarget}, ${horostr}";;
944 "${IRC_USER}, what's my horoscope?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $($HOME/scm/bullshit/horoscope)";;
945 "${IRC_USER}, what should I cook"*)
946 recipestr="$(based.recipe)"
947 if [ -n "${recipestr}" ];
948 then
949 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${recipestr}"
950 else
951 gptchefrecipe="$(gpt-chef "something random")"
952 if [ -n "${gptchefrecipe}" ];
953 then
954 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${gptchefrecipe}"
955 if [ $(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji 2>/dev/null | wc -l) -lt 3 ];
956 then
957 {
958 emojiuri="$(stable-diffusion-emoji "${gptchefrecipe}")"
959 if [ -n "${emojiuri}" ];
960 then
961 annna-say "${emojiuri}"
962 fi
963 } &
964 fi
965 else
966 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I have no recommendation for you today."
967 fi
968 fi;;
969 # parazyd.org is unmaintained
970 #"${IRC_USER}, what's my future?")
971 # puri="$(sacc gopher://parazyd.org/0/tarot.cgi | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
972 # annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, your future is here: ${puri}"
973 # ;;
974 "${IRC_USER}, haha"*)
975 {
976 wuri="$(github-haha)"
977 [ -n "${wuri}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, haha ${wuri}"
978 } & ;;
979 "${IRC_USER}, meow"*)
980 # https://catgps.wvd.io support
981 nmeows=$(($RANDOM % 14))
982 meows="Meow"
983 for i in $(seq $nmeows);
984 do
985 meows="$meows meow"
986 done
987 if [ $nmeows -lt 4 ];
988 then
989 meows="$meows!"
990 else
991 meows="$meows."
992 fi
993 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${meows}";;
994 "${IRC_USER}, how many memes do you know?") annna-say "I know $(hashtagcount) memes: gophers://bitreich.org/1/meme/count";;
995 "${IRC_USER}, please show me your memes"*)
996 puri="$(printf "%s" "$(hashtags)" | bitreich-paste)"
997 annna-say "Here are my memes: ${puri}";;
998 "${IRC_USER}, please show me the victims"*)
999 puri="$(printf "%s" "$(hashtags)" | grep victim | bitreich-paste)"
1000 annna-say "Here are the victims: ${puri}";;
1001 "${IRC_USER}, please distro-hop with me"*)
1002 ndistro="$(curl -s 'https://distrowatch.com/dwres.php?resource=popularity' \
1003 | grep phr2 \
1004 | sed 's,.*href="\(.*\)".*,\1,' \
1005 | sort | uniq | shuf -n 1)"
1006 annna-say "How about https://distrowatch.com/${ndistro} ?";;
1007 "${IRC_USER}, please show me your Macron"*) annna-say "gophers://bitreich.org/0/ascii/macron.vt";;
1008 "${IRC_USER}, release the Kraken"*) annna-say "Here it is! gophers://bitreich.org/0/memecache/kraken.vt";;
1009 "${IRC_USER}, where is your source?") annna-say "Here is my precious source: git://bitreich.org/annna ";;
1010 "${IRC_USER}, release the Quacken!") annna-say "Quack Quack! gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/release-the-quacken.mkv";;
1011 "${IRC_USER}, be cool"*)
1012 case "$(($RANDOM % 5))" in
1013 0) annna-say "(⌐■_■)";;
1014 1) annna-say "(▰˘◡˘▰)";;
1015 2) annna-say "(▀ Ĺ▀ )̄";;
1016 3) annna-say "(▀Ĺ▀ )";;
1017 *) annna-say "I can't be cool! gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/i-cant-be-cool.mp3";;
1018 esac;;
1019 "${IRC_USER}, please cheer"*)
1020 case "$(($RANDOM % 2))" in
1021 0) annna-say '~\o/~';;
1022 *) annna-say '✺◟( ° ʖ °)◞✺';;
1023 esac;;
1024 "${IRC_USER}, please give me a fish"*)
1025 case "$(($RANDOM % 2))" in
1026 0) annna-say '<><';;
1027 *) annna-say '><>';;
1028 esac;;
1029 "${IRC_USER}, run"*) annna-say 'ᕕ(ಠ_ಠ)ᕗ';;
1030 "${IRC_USER}, be cute"*)
1031 case "$(($RANDOM % 4))" in
1032 0) annna-say ' (\ /)' && sleep 0.1
1033 annna-say ' (. .)' && sleep 0.1
1034 annna-say ' C(") (")';;
1035 1) annna-say ' (\-/)' && sleep 0.1
1036 annna-say " (='.'=)" && sleep 0.1
1037 annna-say ' (")-(")o';;
1038 2) annna-say ' ( ) ( )' && sleep 0.1
1039 annna-say ' (>•.•<)' && sleep 0.1
1040 annna-say ' (") (")' && sleep 0.1;;
1041 *) annna-say ' (\ (\' && sleep 0.1
1042 annna-say " (=' :')" && sleep 0.1
1043 annna-say ' (, (") (")';;
1044 esac;;
1045 "${IRC_USER}, 8ball "*)
1046 eightballanswer="$(8ball)"
1047 [ -n "${eightballanswer}" ] && annna-say "${eightballanswer}";;
1048 "${IRC_USER}, email "*)
1049 findsyou="$(shuf -n 1 "${ANNNA_MODBASE}/finds-you/finds_you.txt")"
1050 [ -n "${findsyou}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I hope this email ${findsyou}";;
1051 "${IRC_USER}, please throw a coin for me.")
1052 case "$((($RANDOM % 2) + 1))" in
1053 1) annna-say "face";;
1054 2) annna-say "number";;
1055 esac;;
1056 "${IRC_USER}, please quantum roll d2 for me"*)
1057 qroll="$(($(/home/20h/scm/quantum-rng/quantum-rng) + 1))"
1058 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${qroll} [1d2(scores:[${qroll}])]";;
1059 "${IRC_USER}, please roll "*" for me"*)
1060 q="${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT#* roll }"
1061 q="${q%for*}"
1062
1063 # https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dice_notation
1064 # six-sided dice one time
1065 [ -z "${q}" ] && q="d6"
1066 [ "${q}" = "a die " ] && q="d6"
1067 [ "${q}" = "dice " ] && q="d6"
1068
1069 dicescore="$(dice -vs "${q}")"
1070 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${dicescore}";;
1071 "${IRC_USER}, please tell me your favourite flower"*) annna-say "My favourite flower is the beer flower.";;
1072 "${IRC_USER}, please tell me your favourite color"*) annna-say "My favourite color is yellow.";;
1073 "${IRC_USER}, please clap for me"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, *clap* *clap* *clap*";;
1074 "${IRC_USER}, which city does not exist?")
1075 cityuri="$(this-city-does-not-exist)"
1076 if [ -n "${cityuri}" ];
1077 then
1078 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, this one: ${cityuri}"
1079 else
1080 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, none."
1081 fi;;
1082 [Ff]"or humanity"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, for humanity! gophers://bitreich.org/0/memecache/annna-rchism.txt";;
1083 [Hh]"ack the planet"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, hack the planet!" ;;
1084 [Ll]"ong live gopher"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, long live gopher!";;
1085 ":)"|":))"|":)))"|":-)"|":-))"|":-)))"|":--)"|":--))"|":--)))"|":---)"|":----)"|"llol"|"lllol") annna-say -- "$(smile)";;
1086 "${IRC_USER}, please dance."|"\\o/"|"\^o^/") annna-say -- "$(dance-moves-gen)";;
1087 "${IRC_USER}, let us celebrate!"|"/o/"|"\o\\") annna-say -- "$(dance-moves-gen -m)";;
1088 "${IRC_USER}, please egyptian dance."|"${IRC_USER}, let us egyptian celebrate!"|"~o~"|"|o|") annna-say -- "$(dance-moves-gen -e)";;
1089 "${IRC_USER}, please stamp this letter for me"*) annna-say -- "${IRC_CMD_USER}, here: 🖃 ";;
1090 "${IRC_USER}, please do the graveyard smash"*)
1091 annna-say -- "( つ ･ᴗ･)つ"
1092 annna-say -- "ς ( ･ᴗ･ ς )"
1093 annna-say -- "It did the mash\\ It did the ~~MONSTER MASH~~\\ It was a smash\\ It was a ~~GRAVEYARD SMASH~~";;
1094 "${IRC_USER}, boo"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, 👻";;
1095 "${IRC_USER}, W3C"*|"${IRC_USER}, w3c"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, 🕸️ 🕷️ 🕸️";;
1096 "${IRC_USER}, pumpkin"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, 🎃";;
1097 "${IRC_USER}, trick or treat"*|"${IRC_USER}, treat or trick"*)
1098 annna-say "Wait for it. Old annnama is searching ..."
1099 {
1100 sleeptime="$(( $RANDOM % 120 + 10 ))"
1101 if [ $sleeptime -gt 60 ];
1102 then
1103 sleep "$(( $RANDOM % 30 + 20 ))"
1104 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, *swish* *swish* old annnama is still searching."
1105 sleeptime="$(( $RANDOM % 60 + 10 ))"
1106 fi
1107 sleep $sleeptime
1108
1109 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, $(trick-or-treat)"
1110 } & ;;
1111 "${IRC_USER}, please dance with me"*)
1112 if [ $(($RANDOM % 2)) -gt 0 ];
1113 then
1114 annna-say "I am not that kind of woman."
1115 else
1116 annna-say "Thank you! Let us dance! :-D"
1117 fi;;
1118 "${IRC_USER}, please tell me who is your favourite pleasure man"*) annna-say "My favourite pleasure man is of course Gunther!";;
1119 "${IRC_USER}, make me a sandwich"*) annna-say "No.";;
1120 "${IRC_USER}, sudo make me a sandwich"*) annna-say "Humans are no objects.";;
1121 "${IRC_USER}, please make me a sandwich"*) annna-say "Maybe.";;
1122 "${IRC_USER}, sudo please make me a sandwich"*) annna-say "Here is your sandwich.";;
1123 "${IRC_USER}, I feel unsure about my health.")
1124 healthadvice="$(health-advice)"
1125 [ -n "${healthadvice}" ] && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${healthadvice}";;
1126 "${IRC_USER}, bonjour !") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, bonjour !";;
1127 *" pets ${IRC_USER}"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, *brrrrr*";;
1128 "${IRC_USER}, please give me a penis extension"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, here: $(penis-extension)";;
1129 "${IRC_USER}, please bobbitize me"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, here: $(bobbitize)";;
1130 "${IRC_USER}, please give me a baguette extension"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, here: $(baguette-extension)";;
1131 "${IRC_USER}, please give me an allah extension"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, here: $(allah-extension)";;
1132 "${IRC_USER}, please pull my finger"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, you are disgusting.";;
1133 "${IRC_USER}, what's up in Japan?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, see for yourself: https://nhk3.mov3.co/hls/nhk.m3u8";;
1134 "${IRC_USER}, please mqtt"*)
1135 mqtturi="$(printf '%s\n' "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 3)"
1136 case "${mqtturi}" in
1137 mqtt:*);; #mqtt:// full URI specified
1138 *) mqtturi="mqtts://bitreich:oogui3queex&o9zaekah@bitreich.org/${mqtturi#mqtt}";;
1139 esac
1140 msg="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
1141 printf "${msg}\n" | mosquitto_pub -L "${mqtturi}" -l;;
1142 *[Zz]"uckerberg"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, did you mean gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/mark-suckerberg.mp4 ?";;
1143 "${IRC_USER}, please pick one of: "*)
1144 pick="$(printf '%s\n' "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" \
1145 | sed 's/.*please pick one of: //' \
1146 | tr ',' '\n' \
1147 | tr -d ' ' \
1148 | sort -R \
1149 | head -n 1)"
1150 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I think ${pick} is the best option.";;
1151 "${IRC_USER}, please play some Bach"*)
1152 midifile="$(find . /home/annna/bin/modules/midi-media/bach -name '*.mid' \
1153 | sort -R \
1154 | head -n 1)"
1155 outfile="/br/gopher/midi/${midifile##*/}.ogg"
1156 midi-play "$midifile" >"$outfile" && annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, gophers://bitreich.org/9/midi/${outfile##*/}";;
1157 "${IRC_USER}, please 3d "*)
1158 args=$(echo ${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT} | cut -d' ' -f 4-)
1159 outfile=$(blender-effect $args)
1160 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, gophers://bitreich.org/I/memecache/3d/${outfile}";;
1161 # https://ednaundharvey.fandom.com/de/wiki/Droggelbecher
1162 "${IRC_USER}, droggelbecher"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, Droggelbecher!";;
1163 "${IRC_USER}, thanks"*|"${IRC_USER}, thx"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, you're welcome.";;
1164 "${IRC_USER}, please simulate "*" simulator"*)
1165 q="${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT#* please simulate }"
1166 q="${q% simulator*}"
1167 outpath="/br/gopher/p/"
1168 {
1169 if outfile="$(simulate-simulator "$q")"
1170 then
1171 mv "${outfile}" "${outpath}/"
1172 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, gophers://bitreich.org/I/p/${outfile}"
1173 fi
1174 } & ;;
1175 "${IRC_USER}, can "*" certify itself?")
1176 q="${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT#* can }"
1177 q="${q% certify*}"
1178 {
1179 # host:port is needed for tlsgrab
1180 curi="$(tlsgrab "${q}")"
1181 if [ -n "${curi}" ];
1182 then
1183 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, let us see the certificate: ${curi}"
1184 fi
1185 } & ;;
1186 "${IRC_USER}, please mine "*" bitreichcoin"*)
1187 q="${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT#* please mine }"
1188 q="${q% bitreichcoin*}"
1189 curi="$(bitreichcoin "$q" | bitreich-paste)"
1190 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, please don't spend it all at once: ${curi}";;
1191 "${IRC_USER}, please hug me.") annna-say "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION hugs ${IRC_CMD_USER}$(echo -e '\001')";;
1192 "${IRC_USER}, please hug "*" for me.")
1193 huggee="${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT#* please hug }"
1194 huggee="${huggee% for me*}"
1195 [ -n "${huggee}" ] && annna-say "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION hugs ${huggee}$(echo -e '\001')";;
1196 "${IRC_USER}, how many fucks were given?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, current fucks given: 0.0";;
1197 "${IRC_USER}, please slam the door.") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, *BANG*";;
1198 "${IRC_USER}, what is my credit score?") annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, your credit score is 0.";;
1199 "${IRC_USER}, please give me a cookie.")
1200 cookie="$(cookie)"
1201 [ -n "${cookie}" ] && annna-say "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION gives ${IRC_CMD_USER} a ${cookie} cookie$(echo -e '\001')";;
1202 "${IRC_USER}, please help"*) annna-say -c "${IRC_CMD_USER}" "See git://bitreich.org/annna for my commands.";;
1203 "${IRC_USER}, please meme meme meme me"*)
1204 randomtag=2
1205 while [ $randomtag -gt 0 ];
1206 do
1207 rtag="$(printf "%s\n" "$(hashtags)" | shuf -n 1)"
1208 tagname=""
1209 taguri=""
1210 for tag in ${rtag};
1211 do
1212 [ -z "${tagname}" ] && tagname="${tag}" && continue
1213 taguri="${tag}"
1214 done
1215 annna-say "${tagname}: ${taguri}"
1216 randomtag=$((randomtag - 1))
1217 done;;
1218 "${IRC_USER}, what's the wheelchair shooter meme again?")
1219 tagname="#scrollby"
1220 tagline="$(printf "%s\n" "$(hashtags)" | grep "^${tagname} ")"
1221 tagname="$(printf "%s\n" "${tagline}" | cut -d ' ' -f 1)"
1222 taguri="$(printf "%s\n" "${tagline}" | cut -d ' ' -f 2-)"
1223 annna-say "${tagname}: ${taguri}";;
1224 "${IRC_USER}, TIL "*|"${IRC_USER}, til "*)
1225 minimum_learned_len=12
1226 offset=$(( ${#IRC_USER} + 6 ))
1227 learned="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" \
1228 | cut -c $offset- \
1229 | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
1230 if [ ${#learned} -le $minimum_learned_len ];
1231 then
1232 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, can you explain better what you learned?"
1233 else
1234 result="$(til ${IRC_CMD_USER} "${learned}")"
1235 if [ $? -eq 0 ];
1236 then
1237 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${result}"
1238 fi
1239 fi;;
1240 "${IRC_USER}, what have I learned?")
1241 if result=$(til-user ${IRC_CMD_USER});
1242 then
1243 annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, ${result}"
1244 fi;;
1245 esac
1246
1247 for person in "${!personalities[@]}";
1248 do case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT,,}" in
1249 "${person}, "*)
1250 personality="${personalities[${person}]}"
1251 preprompt="$(cat ${ANNNA_MODBASE}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
1252 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
1253 annna-say "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")" &
1254 esac done
1255
1256 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
1257 "${IRC_USER}, please antidepressant #"*|\
1258 "${IRC_USER}, please amplify #"*|\
1259 "${IRC_USER}, please amsterdamify #"*|\
1260 "${IRC_USER}, please banjo #"*|\
1261 "${IRC_USER}, please bounce #"*|\
1262 "${IRC_USER}, please breakingnews #"*|\
1263 "${IRC_USER}, please celtify #"*|\
1264 "${IRC_USER}, please concatenate #"*|\
1265 "${IRC_USER}, please crimetv #"*|\
1266 "${IRC_USER}, please curb #"*|\
1267 "${IRC_USER}, please daybowbow #"*|\
1268 "${IRC_USER}, please deathmetal #"*|\
1269 "${IRC_USER}, please developers #"*|\
1270 "${IRC_USER}, please dontdoit #"*|\
1271 "${IRC_USER}, please dontsaytoyourmother #"*|\
1272 "${IRC_USER}, please doomify #"*|\
1273 "${IRC_USER}, please dutchapprove #"*|\
1274 "${IRC_USER}, please french #"*|\
1275 "${IRC_USER}, please FRENCH #"*|\
1276 "${IRC_USER}, please imam #"*|\
1277 "${IRC_USER}, please lop #"*|\
1278 "${IRC_USER}, please loop #"*|\
1279 "${IRC_USER}, please looop #"*|\
1280 "${IRC_USER}, please loooop #"*|\
1281 "${IRC_USER}, please mow #"*|\
1282 "${IRC_USER}, please namflashback #"*|\
1283 "${IRC_USER}, please news #"*|\
1284 "${IRC_USER}, please pullmyfinger #"*|\
1285 "${IRC_USER}, please putin #"*|\
1286 "${IRC_USER}, please reverse #"*|\
1287 "${IRC_USER}, please richardstrauss #"*|\
1288 "${IRC_USER}, please ritual #"*|\
1289 "${IRC_USER}, please sadviolin #"*|\
1290 "${IRC_USER}, please science #"*|\
1291 "${IRC_USER}, please scrollify #"*|\
1292 "${IRC_USER}, please sendtohell #"*|\
1293 "${IRC_USER}, please sexify #"*|\
1294 "${IRC_USER}, please slavify #"*|\
1295 "${IRC_USER}, please slowdown #"*|\
1296 "${IRC_USER}, please smith #"*|\
1297 "${IRC_USER}, please speedup #"*|\
1298 "${IRC_USER}, please techno #"*|\
1299 "${IRC_USER}, please technodrugs #"*|\
1300 "${IRC_USER}, please thin #"*|\
1301 "${IRC_USER}, please torture #"*|\
1302 "${IRC_USER}, please tshirt #"*|\
1303 "${IRC_USER}, please trumpapprove #"*|\
1304 "${IRC_USER}, please USAUSA #"*|\
1305 "${IRC_USER}, please USA #"*|\
1306 "${IRC_USER}, please usa #"*|\
1307 "${IRC_USER}, please wat #"*|\
1308 "${IRC_USER}, please widen #"*|\
1309 "${IRC_USER}, please ww1 #"*|\
1310 "${IRC_USER}, please yellow #"*|\
1311 "${IRC_USER}, please zucc #"*|\
1312 "${IRC_USER}, please random #"*)
1313 hashtag="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | sed 's/.*#//; s/ .*//' )"
1314 recipient="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | sed 's/.* for //' )"
1315 [ -z "${recipient}" ] && recipient="${IRC_CMD_USER}"
1316 origext="$(grep -E "^#${hashtag} " "${hashtagfile}" | sed 's/.*\.//')"
1317 {
1318 filter="$(printf '%s\n' "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f3)"
1319 if [ "${filter}" = "random" ];
1320 then
1321 filters=("antidepressant" "amplify" "amsterdamify"
1322 "banjo" "bounce" "breakingnews"
1323 "celtify" "concatenate" "crimetv"
1324 "curb" "daybowbow" "deathmetal"
1325 "developers" "dontdoit" "dontsaytoyourmother"
1326 "doomify" "dutchapprove" "french"
1327 "FRENCH" "imam" "lop" "loop" "looop" "loooop"
1328 "mow" "namflashback" "news"
1329 "pullmyfinger" "putin" "reverse"
1330 "richardstrauss" "ritual" "sadviolin"
1331 "science" "scrollify" "sendtohell"
1332 "sexify" "slavify" "slowdown"
1333 "smith" "speedup" "techno"
1334 "technodrugs" "thin" "torture"
1335 "tshirt" "trumpapprove" "USAUSA"
1336 "usa" "wat" "widen" "ww1"
1337 "yellow" "zucc")
1338 filter="${filters[ $RANDOM % ${#filters[@]} ]}"
1339 fi
1340 outfile="${filter}-${hashtag}.mkv"
1341 outpath="/br/gopher/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1342 inpath="/br/gopher/memecache/${hashtag}.${origext}"
1343
1344 [ ! -f "${inpath}" ] && exit 0
1345
1346 # outfile and outpath filtering for the cache.
1347 case "${filter}" in
1348 antidepressant|ritual|putin|tshirt)
1349 outfile="${outfile%.*}.jpg"
1350 outpath="${outpath%.*}.jpg";;
1351 wat|smith|zucc)
1352 mimetype="$(file --mime-type "$inpath" | cut -d':' -f 2 | cut -c 2-)"
1353 # Only allow images to be free.
1354 case "$mimetype" in
1355 image/webp)
1356 # deface does not like webp. Make it png.
1357 newinpath="$(mktemp -u -p /tmp "${infile%.*}XXXXX.png")"
1358 magick "${inpath}" "${newinpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1359 inpath="${newinpath}"
1360
1361 outfile="${outfile%.*}.png"
1362 outpath="${outpath%.*}.png";;
1363 image/*)
1364 outfile="${outfile%.*}.${origext}"
1365 outpath="${outpath%.*}.${origext}";;
1366 esac
1367 esac
1368 # Cleanup if outpath file is empty.
1369 [ -f "${outpath}" ] && [ ! -s "${outpath}" ] && rm "${outpath}"
1370
1371 # determine gopher type for output file
1372 outmimetype="$(file -ib "${outpath}")"
1373 case "$outmimetype" in
1374 image/*) outtype="I";;
1375 *) outtype="9";;
1376 esac
1377
1378 if [ -s "${outpath}" ];
1379 then
1380 annna-say "${recipient}, gophers://bitreich.org/${outtype}/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1381 exit 0
1382 fi
1383
1384 case "${filter}" in
1385 antidepressant) antidepressant "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;;
1386 ritual) satanic-ritual "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;;
1387 putin) putin-os "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;;
1388 tshirt) tshirt-design "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;;
1389 *) ffmpeg-effect "${filter}" "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;;
1390 esac
1391
1392 # Remove temporary png for deface.
1393 case "${inpath}" in
1394 /tmp/*.png) [ -e "${inpath}" ] && rm "${inpath}";;
1395 esac
1396
1397 [ -s "${outpath}" ] && annna-say "${recipient}, gophers://bitreich.org/${outtype}/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1398 } &
1399 exit 0;;
1400 esac
1401
1402 printf '%s' "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | awk -v taglimit="$printnhashtags" '
1403 $0 !~ /#nospoil/ {
1404 while (match($0, /[#*&]+[^# /"'\'',?!;$\001]+/)) {
1405 tag = substr($0, RSTART, RLENGTH)
1406 $0 = substr($0, RSTART + RLENGTH)
1407 sub(/[.]*$/, "", tag)
1408 if (!uniq[tag]++ && taglimit-- > 0)
1409 print tag
1410 }
1411 }' | head -n "$printnhashtags" | while read -r tag;
1412 do
1413 [ "${tag}" = "#expand" ] && continue
1414
1415 origtag="${tag}"
1416 pointer=0
1417 revpointer=0
1418 case "${tag}" in
1419 "*"*) tag="#$(printf "%s\n" "${tag}" | sed "s,^[\*]*,,")"
1420 pointer=1;;
1421 "&"*) tag="#$(printf "%s\n" "${tag}" | sed "s,^[\&]*,,")"
1422 revpointer=1;;
1423 esac
1424
1425 tagline="$(grep "${tag} " "${hashtagfile}" | shuf -n 1)";
1426 if [ -n "${tagline}" ];
1427 then
1428 if [ $nospoil -eq 0 ];
1429 then
1430 if [ $pointer -eq 1 ];
1431 then
1432 inpath="/br/gopher/memecache/${tagline##*/}"
1433 [ ! -f "${inpath}" ] && exit 0
1434
1435 outfile="${tag#\#}.jpg"
1436 # pointy pointers
1437 outpath="$(printf "%s\n" "${origtag}" \
1438 | sed 's,\*,&\n,g' \
1439 | grep "^*" \
1440 | while read -r asterisk;
1441 do
1442 outfile="*${outfile}"
1443 outpath="/br/gopher/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1444 printf "%s\n" "${outpath}"
1445 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1446 then
1447 inpath="${outpath}";
1448 continue
1449 fi
1450 pointer "${inpath}" "${outpath}";
1451 inpath="${outpath}";
1452 done | tail -n 1)"
1453
1454 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1455 then
1456 outfile="$(basename "${outpath}")"
1457 annna-say "${origtag}: gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1458 fi
1459 elif [ $revpointer -eq 1 ];
1460 then
1461 inpath="/br/gopher/memecache/${tagline##*/}"
1462 [ ! -f "${inpath}" ] && exit 0
1463
1464 outfile="${tag#\#}.jpg"
1465 # pointy pointers
1466 outpath="$(printf "%s\n" "${origtag}" \
1467 | sed 's,\&,&\n,g' \
1468 | grep "^&" \
1469 | while read -r asterisk;
1470 do
1471 outfile="&${outfile}"
1472 outpath="/br/gopher/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1473 printf "%s\n" "${outpath}"
1474 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1475 then
1476 inpath="${outpath}";
1477 continue
1478 fi
1479 revpointer "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;
1480 inpath="${outpath}";
1481 done | tail -n 1)"
1482
1483 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1484 then
1485 outfile="$(basename "${outpath}")"
1486 annna-say "${origtag}: gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1487 fi
1488 else
1489 annna-say "${tagline% *}: ${tagline#* }"
1490 fi
1491 fi
1492 else
1493 if [ $doexpand -eq 1 ];
1494 then
1495 taglength=$(utf8expr length "${tag}")
1496 if [ $uriexpansion -eq 0 ] && [ $taglength -gt 3 ];
1497 then
1498 didyoumean="$(annna-meme-recommend "${tag}")"
1499 if [ -n "${didyoumean}" ];
1500 then
1501 annna-say "Did you mean: ${didyoumean}?"
1502 fi
1503 fi
1504 fi
1505 fi
1506 done
1507
1508 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT,,}" in
1509 *\#nospoil*);;
1510 *rfc[0-9]*)
1511 rfcname="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | sed 's,.*\(rfc[0-9]*\).*,\1,')"
1512 annna-say "${rfcname}: ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/${rfcname}.txt";;
1513 esac
1514
1515 # Always keep the karma / shame last!
1516 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
1517 *"-shaming"*)
1518 shametext="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | sed 's,.* \(.*-shaming\).*,\1,')"
1519 shame "${shametext}" >/dev/null;;
1520 *"arma is a bitch"*) annna-say "${IRC_CMD_USER}, I object! Karma is a nice girl!";;
1521 # For referee scoring.
1522 "score "*);;
1523 *++|*--|*-=?|*+=?|*+=-?|*-=-?)
1524 karmatext="$(karma "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}")"
1525 [ -n "$karmatext" ] && annna-say "karma: ${karmatext}";;
1526 esac
1527
1528 # Membership Level.
1529 ismember=0
1530 for member in $brmembers;
1531 do
1532 [ "${IRC_CMD_USER}" = "${member}" ] && ismember=1
1533 done
1534 [ $ismember -lt 1 ] && exit
1535
1536 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
1537 "${IRC_USER}, please go to sleep.")
1538 annna-say "Going to sleep ... Zzzz ..."
1539 annna-sleep-well;;
1540 "${IRC_USER}, please wake up.")
1541 annna-wakeup
1542 annna-say "Good morning BITREICH!";;
1543 "${IRC_USER}, can you show me the uptime please?") annna-say "$(hostname) uptime: $(uptime)";;
1544 "${IRC_USER}, please show me the load.") annna-say "$(hostname) load: $(LANG=C uptime | sed 's,.*load average: \(.*\)$,\1,')";;
1545 "${IRC_USER}, please give me the count of online users.") annna-say "$(hostname): $(who -q | tail -n 1 | cut -d'=' -f 2)";;
1546 "${IRC_USER}, please update the phlog index.")
1547 phlog-index > /dev/null 2>&1
1548 annna-say "Thanks! Your request has been fulfilled with the quickness! :)";;
1549 esac
1550
1551 # Referee Level.
1552 isreferee=0
1553 for referee in $referees;
1554 do
1555 [ "$user" = "$referee" ] && isreferee=1
1556 done
1557 [ $isreferee -lt 1 ] && exit
1558
1559 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
1560 "score "*)
1561 text="$(printf "%s\n" "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" | cut -d' ' -f2-)"
1562 case "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}" in
1563 *++|*--|*-=?|*+=?|*+=-?|*-=-?|*-=??|*+=??|*-=-??|*-=65536*)
1564 scoretext="$(brcon-score "${IRC_PRIVMSG_TEXT}")"
1565 [ -n "$scoretext" ] && annna-say "brcon score: ${scoretext}";;
1566 esac;;
1567 esac
1568