annna-message-common - annna - Annna the nice friendly bot.
HTML git clone git://bitreich.org/annna/ git://enlrupgkhuxnvlhsf6lc3fziv5h2hhfrinws65d7roiv6bfj7d652fid.onion/annna/
DIR Log
DIR Files
DIR Refs
DIR Tags
DIR README
---
annna-message-common (58697B)
---
1 #!/bin/bash
2
3 export PATH="/br/bin:$PATH"
4
5 cfgbase="$(pwd)"
6 ircbase="$(cat ${cfgbase}/ircbase)"
7 modbase="$(cat ${cfgbase}/modbase)"
8 hashtagfile="${modbase}/hashtags/hashtags.txt"
9 idontcaredb="${modbase}/i-dont-care/i-dont-care.txt"
10 printnhashtags=2
11 brmembers="__20h__ Evil_Bob chripo posativ quinq stateless solene josuah parazyd bin KatolaZ adc Athas ROYGBYTE"
12 referees="__20h__"
13 ignorednicks="eidolon"
14 linkbrotherchannels="#bitreich-con"
15
16 server="$1"
17 ircuser="$(cat ${cfgbase}/${server}/ircuser)"
18 channel="$2"
19 user="$3"
20 text="$4"
21 annnasumerian="𒈹"
22 annnabirthday="1989-05-18"
23
24 hashtags() {
25 cat ${hashtagfile} 2>/dev/null
26 }
27
28 hashtagcount() {
29 int2bit "$(curl -s gophers://bitreich.org/1/meme/count \
30 | grep total \
31 | head -n 1 \
32 | sed 's,.*total on .*: \([0-9]*\)),\1,')"
33 }
34
35 regeximatch() {
36 printf '%s' "$1" | grep -i -E -q "$2"
37 }
38
39 #printf "%s %s %s %s\n" "${0##*/}" "${channel}" "${user}" "${text}"
40
41 [ "$user" = "${ircuser}" ] && exit 0
42
43 isignored=0
44 for ignorednick in $ignorednicks;
45 do
46 [ "$user" = "$ignorednick" ] && isignored=1
47 done
48 [ $isignored -eq 1 ] && exit
49
50 # Flag, if some expansion of some URI happened.
51 uriexpansion=0
52 # Do not spoil at all.
53 nospoil=0
54 # Enforce spoiling in case of hard nospoil filter.
55 dospoil=0
56 # Expand meme hashtag and show recommendations.
57 doexpand=0
58
59 case "${text}" in
60 *\#nospoil*)
61 nospoil=1
62 ;;
63 *\#expand*)
64 doexpand=1
65 ;;
66 *::*::*)
67 if [ $(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji 2>/dev/null | wc -l) -gt 3 ];
68 then
69 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry, gophers://bitreich.org/I/memecache/bitreich-burning.png"
70 else
71 {
72 query=${text#**::} query=${query%%::*}
73 emojiuri="$(stable-diffusion-emoji "${query}")"
74 if [ -n "${emojiuri}" ];
75 then
76 if [ -n "${user}" ] && [ "${user}" != "annna-cmd" ];
77 then
78 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${emojiuri}"
79 else
80 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${emojiuri}"
81 fi
82 fi
83 } &
84 fi
85 ;;
86 *http*://*|*ytdl://*)
87 case "${text}" in
88 *"#spoil"*)
89 dospoil=1
90 ;;
91 esac
92
93 case "${text}" in
94 *http*://*)
95 uri="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
96 | sed -n '/.*\(https\{0,1\}:\/\/[^ ]\{1,\}\).*/s//\1/p')"
97 ;;
98 *ytdl://*)
99 ytid="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
100 | sed -n '/.*ytdl:\/\/\([^ ]\{1,\}\).*/s//\1/p')"
101 uri="$(printf "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=%s" "${ytid}")"
102 ;;
103 esac
104
105 # Set below and annna will concatenate at the end.
106 # HTML title.
107 urititle=""
108 # Subtitle URI.
109 sturi=""
110 # Replacement URI.
111 nuri=""
112 # Replacement URI display string.
113 nuris=""
114 # html2text content.
115 curi=""
116 # Set to 0, if some URI content should be shown.
117 nocuri=1
118 # Screenshot.
119 suri=""
120
121 # titleend=1 will not output any further.
122 titleend=0
123 outputstr=""
124
125 if is-invidious-instance "${uri}";
126 then
127 host="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" \
128 | sed 's,.*://\([^/]*\).*,\1,')"
129 if [ -n "${host}" ];
130 then
131 uri="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" \
132 | sed "s,${host},youtube.com,")"
133 fi
134 fi
135
136 tmpf=$(mktemp)
137 fetch-uri "${uri}" > "${tmpf}"
138 if [ ! -s "${tmpf}" ];
139 then
140 archiveorguri="$(archiveorg-uri "${uri}")"
141 if [ -n "${archiveorguri}" ];
142 then
143 sarchiveorguri="$(bitreich-uri-shortener "${archiveorguri}")"
144 nuris="archive: ${sarchiveorguri}"
145 fetch-uri "${archiveorguri}" > "${tmpf}"
146 fi
147 fi
148 [ -s "${tmpf}" ] && urititle="$(grabtitle < "${tmpf}")"
149
150 case "${urititle}" in
151 "")
152 ;;
153 *Gunther*|*GUNTHER*|*Günther*|*GÜNTHER*)
154 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Oh Günther! ❤ ❤ ❤ ${urititle}"
155 uriexpansion=1
156 ;;
157 *\|\ Cloudflare*|"Just a moment...")
158 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Mind your own business! We got clownflared: gophers://bitreich.org/0/ascii/clownflare.vt"
159 titleend=1
160 uriexpansion=1
161 ;;
162 esac
163
164 case "${uri}" in
165 "")
166 ;;
167 *github.com/*/blob/*)
168 urltitle=""
169 nuris="$(printf '%s' "${uri}" | sed 's/blob/raw/')"
170 nocuri=0
171 ;;
172 *imgur.com/*)
173 nuris="$(youtube-dl -g "${uri}")" || nuris=""
174 ;;
175 *xkcd.com/*)
176 nuris="$(xkcd-uri "${uri}")"
177 ;;
178 *imdb.com/title/*)
179 imdbstr="$(imdb2gopherbay "${uri}")"
180 if [ -n "${imdbstr}" ];
181 then
182 nuris="${imdbstr}"
183 urititle=""
184 fi
185 ;;
186 *themoviedb.org/movie/*)
187 movietitle="$(themoviedb2gopherbay "${uri}" | sed 's, ,+,g')"
188 if [ -n "${movietitle}" ];
189 then
190 nuris="gophers://bay.parazy.de:666/1/q.dcgi?${movietitle}"
191 fi
192 ;;
193 *lichess.org/????????|*lichess.org/????????/|*lichess.org/????????/black|*lichess.org/????????/white)
194 nuris="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" \
195 | sed 's,https://lichess.org\(/[^ ]*\)$,\1,; s,^/\([^/]*\)/black$,/black/\1,; s,/white,,; s,\(.*\),https://lichess1.org/game/export/gif\1.gif?piece=pixel,;')"
196 ;;
197 *npr.org/*)
198 post="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -n 's@.*/\([0-9]\{10\}\)/.*$@\1@p')"
199 if [ -n "${post}" ];
200 then
201 nuri="https://text.npr.org/${post}"
202 nuris="text only: ${nuri}"
203 fi
204 ;;
205 *csdb.dk/release/*)
206 sid=$(awk '/<a href="download\.php.*\.sid/ { match($0, /https:\/\/.*\.sid</); print substr($0, RSTART, RLENGTH-1); exit }' "$tmpf")
207 [ -n "$sid" ] && nuris="listen: $sid"
208 ;;
209 *www.forgottenweapons.com/*)
210 ytid=$(sed -n '/<meta name="description"/ s/.*https:\/\/youtu\.be\/\([-A-Za-z0-9_]\{11\}\).*/\1/p' "$tmpf")
211 if [ -n "$ytid" ]; then
212 nuris="video: ytdl://$ytid ;"
213 nuris="$nuris metadata: gophers://codemadness.org/1/idiotbox.cgi?v=$ytid"
214 fi
215 ;;
216 *www.reddit.com*)
217 nuri="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed "s;www.reddit.com;old.reddit.com;")"
218 nuris="old.reddit: ${nuri}"
219 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
220 if [ -n "${uri#*www.reddit.com/r/*}" ];
221 then
222 subreddit="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | cut -d / -f 5)"
223 post="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | cut -d / -f 7)"
224 if [ -n "${post}" ];
225 then
226 guri="gopher://gopherddit.com/1/cgi-bin/reddit.cgi?view&${post}&${subreddit}&10"
227 else
228 guri="gopher://gopherddit.com/1/cgi-bin/reddit.cgi?menu&${subreddit}&10"
229 fi
230 nuris="${nuri} ; gopherdit: ${guri}"
231 fi
232 nocuri=0
233 ;;
234 *taz.de*)
235 newsid="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed 's,.*\(![0-9]*\).*,\1,')"
236 if [ -n "${newsid}" ];
237 then
238 urititle="$(curl-grabtitle "${uri}")"
239 nuris="gopher://taz.de/1/${newsid}"
240 nocuri=1
241 fi
242 ;;
243 *twitter.com*)
244 #ninstance="$(nitter-instance | sed 's,\.,\\\.,g')"
245 #nuri="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" | sed "s;\(mobile\.\)\{0,1\}twitter\.com;${ninstance};")"
246 fetch-uri "${uri}" > "${tmpf}"
247 urititle="$(curl-grabtitle "${uri}")"
248 #suri="$(screenshot-paste "${uri}")"
249 #nuris="nitter: ${nuri}"
250 nocuri=0
251 ;;
252 *en.wikipedia.org/wiki*)
253 if ! regeximatch "$uri" '\.(jpg,bmp,gif,png,tiff,avi,mp4,webm,mkv,pdf,ps,eps)$';
254 then
255 nuri="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -e "s;.*en.wikipedia.org/wiki;gopher://gopherpedia.com/0;" -e "s;#.*$;;")"
256 nuris="$(printf 'gopherpedia: %s\n' "${nuri}")"
257 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
258 nocuri=0
259 fi
260 ;;
261 *youtube.com/*|*youtu.be/*)
262 # Youtube is so annoying and repeatedly broken;
263 # they hate users, only expand on request.
264 if [ $dospoil -eq 1 ];
265 then
266 if [ -z "${uri##*youtu.be/*}" ] \
267 || [ -z "${uri##*/watch?v=*}" ] \
268 || [ -z "${uri##*/embed/*}" ] \
269 || [ -z "${uri##*/shorts/*}" ];
270 then
271 ytid="${uri#http*://*/watch?v=}"
272 ytid="${ytid##*embed/}"
273 ytid="${ytid##*shorts/}"
274 ytid="${ytid##*youtu.be/}"
275 ytid="${ytid%%\?*}"
276 ytid="${ytid%%&*}"
277 nuri="$(get-invidious-instance)/watch?v=${ytid}"
278 ytt="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -n 's/.*[&?]t=\([^&]\{1,\}\).*/\1/p')"
279 [ -n "${ytt}" ] && nuri="${nuri}&t=${ytt}"
280 else
281 ytid=""
282 nuri="$(get-invidious-instance)/${uri#https*://*/}"
283 fi
284 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
285 urititle="$(curl-grabtitle "${nuri}")"
286 nuris="invidious: ${nuri}"
287 if [ -n "${ytid}" ];
288 then
289 sturi="$(subtitle-paste "${uri}")"
290 nuris="${nuris} ; metadata: gophers://codemadness.org/1/idiotbox.cgi?v=${ytid}"
291 fi
292 # If there was no title found, do not display.
293 [ -z "${urititle}" ] && titleend=1
294 nocuri=1
295 else
296 titleend=1
297 fi
298 ;;
299 *tv.brain.rip/???-???*)
300 nuris="$(grep 'property="og:video:secure_url' < "${tmpf}" | sed 's,.*content="\([^"]*\)".*,\1,')"
301 urititle="$(grep 'name="description' < "${tmpf}" | sed 's,.*content="\([^"]*\)".*,\1,')"
302 nocuri=1
303 ;;
304 *)
305 mimetype="$(file -b --mime-type "${tmpf}")"
306 case "${mimetype}" in
307 text/*|application/javascript)
308 nocuri=0
309 ;;
310 esac
311 ;;
312 esac
313
314 if [ $titleend -eq 0 ];
315 then
316 if [ $nocuri -eq 0 ];
317 then
318 [ -z "${curi}" ] && curi="$(html2text < "${tmpf}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
319 outputstr="${outputstr} content: ${curi} ;"
320 fi
321
322 [ -n "${nuris}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} ${nuris} ;"
323 [ -n "${urititle}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} title: ${urititle} ;"
324 [ -n "${suri}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} screen: ${suri} ;"
325 [ -n "${sturi}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} subtitles: ${sturi} ;"
326 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${outputstr}"
327 uriexpansion=1
328 fi
329 rm -f "${tmpf}"
330 ;;
331 esac
332
333 runlinkbrother=0
334 for linkbrotherchannel in $linkbrotherchannels;
335 do
336 [ "$channel" = "$linkbrotherchannel" ] && runlinkbrother=1
337 done
338 if [ $runlinkbrother -eq 1 ] && [ $nospoil -eq 0 ];
339 then
340 critique=$($modbase/linkbrother/linkbrother.sh "$modbase/linkbrother/db" "$user" "$text")
341 if [ "$critique" ]; then
342 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$critique"
343 fi
344 fi
345
346 case "${text}" in
347 "${ircuser}"?)
348 exclamation="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed "s,${ircuser}\(.\),\1,g")"
349 exclamationsintime=$(exclamatio "${user}")
350 finalexclamation="${exclamation}"
351 while [ $exclamationsintime -gt 1 ];
352 do
353 finalexclamation="${finalexclamation}${exclamation}"
354 exclamationsintime=$(($exclamationsintime - 1))
355 done
356 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}${finalexclamation}"
357 ;;
358 "${ircuser}, how old are you?")
359 age="$(ddiff ${annnabirthday} today -f "%y")"
360 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I am ${age} years old."
361 ;;
362 "${ircuser}, when is your birthday?")
363 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I am born on ${annnabirthday}."
364 ;;
365 "${ircuser}, asl"*)
366 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, age: born on 1989-05-18; sex: IRC bot; location: bitreich.org; u?"
367 ;;
368 "${ircuser}, woop")
369 # Using the same database for funny hacks.
370 exclamation="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed "s;${ircuser}, \(.\);\1;g")"
371 exclamationsintime=$(exclamatio "${user}")
372 finalexclamation="${exclamation}"
373 while [ $exclamationsintime -gt 1 ];
374 do
375 finalexclamation="${finalexclamation} ${exclamation}"
376 exclamationsintime=$(($exclamationsintime - 1))
377 done
378 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${finalexclamation}"
379 ;;
380 "${ircuser}, hype")
381 # Using the same database for funny hacks.
382 exclamation="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed "s;${ircuser}, \(.\);\1;g")"
383 exclamationsintime=$(exclamatio "${user}")
384 finalexclamation="${exclamation}"
385 while [ $exclamationsintime -gt 1 ];
386 do
387 finalexclamation="${finalexclamation} ${exclamation}"
388 exclamationsintime=$(($exclamationsintime - 1))
389 done
390 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${finalexclamation}"
391 ;;
392 *">:3"*)
393 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "OMG IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!"
394 ;;
395 *"<3"*)
396 love "${user}++"
397 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "*o.o*"
398 ;;
399 *"m(")
400 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(－‸ლ)"
401 ;;
402 *"*shrug*"*)
403 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "¯\\_(ツ)_/¯"
404 ;;
405 *"*glare*"*)
406 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "ಠ_ಠ"
407 ;;
408 *"*finger*"*)
409 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "╭∩╮(ಠ_ಠ)╭∩╮"
410 ;;
411 *"*yolo*"*)
412 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Yᵒᵘ Oᶰˡʸ Lᶤᵛᵉ Oᶰᶜᵉ"
413 ;;
414 *":'(")
415 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(╯︵╰,)"
416 ;;
417 "Thanks ${ircuser}"*)
418 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, you are welcome."
419 ;;
420 *" ope sorry"*|"ope sorry"*)
421 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 😃pe sorry."
422 ;;
423 "${ircuser}, snake.")
424 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ssSSsSssSssSsssssSSsSSSSsSssSSSSsssSSSSsssSSsssSssssSssssSSssSSsSssssSSsSSssSsssSssSSSS"
425 ;;
426 "${ircuser}, snoke.")
427 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, snoke again?"
428 ;;
429 "${ircuser}, amirite?")
430 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Yep, you're the most correct of them all."
431 ;;
432 "${ircuser}, ping.")
433 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, pong."
434 ;;
435 "${ircuser}, how lame is my nick?")
436 lamenessstr="$(lameness "${user}")"
437 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${lamenessstr}"
438 ;;
439 "${ircuser}, ding.")
440 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, dong."
441 ;;
442 "${ircuser}, irly"*)
443 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I love you too."
444 ;;
445 "${ircuser}, bleep bloop.")
446 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, bloop bleep."
447 ;;
448 "${ircuser}, snare.")
449 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, not snare again!"
450 ;;
451 "${ircuser}, I am mad.")
452 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, we have a MAD SCIENTIST ONBOARD :>"
453 ;;
454 "${ircuser}, I am holy.")
455 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Holy shit this guy is totally NUTS!!!"
456 ;;
457 "${ircuser}, please compliment me.")
458 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, you rock!"
459 ;;
460 "${ircuser}, what the karma?")
461 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/irc/karma"
462 ;;
463 "${ircuser}, who is lovely?")
464 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/irc/love"
465 ;;
466 "${ircuser}, what the brcon score?")
467 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/con/$(date +%Y)/score"
468 ;;
469 "${ircuser}, what the shame?")
470 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/irc/shame"
471 ;;
472 "${ircuser}, please generate a password for me.")
473 newpws="$(pwgen -B1ny 20 10 | paste -sd ' ')"
474 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, as you wish: ${newpws}"
475 ;;
476 *"don't care"*)
477 dontcaresay="$(shuf -n 1 ${idontcaredb})"
478 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${dontcaresay}"
479 ;;
480 "${ircuser}, how can I phlog on bitreich?")
481 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, please read: gophers://bitreich.org/0/usr/20h/phlog/2017-08-26T20-04-02-482296.md and gophers://bitreich.org/0/usr/20h/phlog/2017-08-26T20-27-40-281825.md"
482 ;;
483 "${ircuser}, what's my type?")
484 {
485 cd /br/gopher
486 usertype="$(find memecache/type-?.png -type f \
487 | shuf -n 1 \
488 | xargs -n 1 printf "gophers://bitreich.org/9%s\n")"
489 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, your type is ${usertype}"
490 }
491 ;;
492 "${ircuser}, please show me a video about "*)
493 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 37-)"
494 case "$word" in
495 *\?)
496 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$((${#word} - 1))")"
497 ;;
498 esac
499 videoresult="$(idiotbox-roulette "${word}")"
500 if [ -n "${videoresult}" ];
501 then
502 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${videoresult}"
503 else
504 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry, nothing founds."
505 fi
506 ;;
507 "${ircuser}, what is my fortune?")
508 fortunecookie="$(fortune-cookie)"
509 if [ -n "${fortunecookie}" ];
510 then
511 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${fortunecookie}"
512 fi
513 ;;
514 "${ircuser}, what is "*)
515 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 16-)"
516 case "$word" in
517 *\?)
518 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$((${#word} - 1))")"
519 ;;
520 esac
521
522 dictserver="dict.org"
523 case "${word}" in
524 dict.org*)
525 dictserver="dict.org"
526 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c 9-)"
527 ;;
528 parazy.de*)
529 dictserver="parazy.de"
530 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c 10-)"
531 ;;
532 esac
533
534 dresult="$(dictcurl "${dictserver}" "" "${word}")"
535 if [ -z "${dresult}" ];
536 then
537 puri="No match found."
538 else
539 puri="$(printf "%s\n" "${dresult}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
540 fi
541 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${puri}"
542 ;;
543 "${ircuser}, cowsay "*)
544 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 15-)"
545 tmpf=$(mktemp)
546 if cowsayasaservice ${word} > ${tmpf}; then
547 curi="$(/br/bin/bitreich-paste < ${tmpf})"
548 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}: the cow said... ${curi}"
549 fi
550 rm ${tmpf} 2>/dev/null
551 ;;
552 "${ircuser}, please give me the unix power.")
553 upcuri="$(unix-power)"
554 if [ -n "${upcuri}" ];
555 then
556 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${upcuri}"
557 fi
558 ;;
559 "${ircuser}, please stop the last emoji prompt.")
560 lastemojipromptpid="$(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji | sort -n | tail -n 1)"
561 if [ -n "${lastemojipromptpid}" ];
562 then
563 pstree -A -p "${lastemojipromptpid}" | grep -Eow "[0-9]+" | xargs kill
564 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I HUPed ${lastemojipromptpid} and all its children for you."
565 else
566 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry, no instances found."
567 fi
568 ;;
569 "${ircuser}, play despacito plz.")
570 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/despacito.mkv"
571 ;;
572 "nice to meet you ${ircuser}"*)
573 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, the pleasure is on my side. :-)"
574 ;;
575 "${ircuser}, please give me a Chuck Norris fact.")
576 chuck=$(chucknorris)
577 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${chuck}"
578 ;;
579 "${ircuser}, magic.")
580 magictrick="$(magic)"
581 if [ -n "${magictrick}" ];
582 then
583 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${magictrick}"
584 fi
585 ;;
586 "${ircuser}, please show me ip art.")
587 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, please see #bitreich-tv for the magic."
588 {
589 cd $HOME/bin/modules/ip-art;
590 # Lock, so only one annna process manipulates eth0.
591 flock $HOME/bin/modules/ip-art -c "./display-file.sh ip-art.ipart"
592 } &
593 ;;
594 "${ircuser}, I feel button.")
595 buri="$(button-gen)"
596 if [ -n "${buri}" ];
597 then
598 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, like this? ${buri}"
599 else
600 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry, no feelings for you today."
601 fi
602 ;;
603 "${ircuser}, I feel stupid.")
604 nuri=$(darwin)
605 tmpf=$(mktemp)
606 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
607 curi="$(9 htmlfmt < "${tmpf}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
608 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, do not feel stupid, others are more stupid: ${curi}"
609 rm ${tmpf} 2>/dev/null
610 ;;
611 "${ircuser}, I feel down.")
612 postmortem="$(post-mortem | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
613 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, do not feel bad, others had worse days: ${postmortem}"
614 ;;
615 "${ircuser}, I feel perl.")
616 perlfeelings="$(perl-feelings)"
617 if [ -n "${perl-feelings}" ];
618 then
619 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I feel ${perlfeelings}"
620 fi
621 ;;
622 "${ircuser}, will you be my girlfriend?")
623 rejection="$(girlfriend)"
624 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${rejection}"
625 ;;
626 "${ircuser}, who fights crime?"|"${ircuser}, who is fighting crime?")
627 partner=$(echo $brmembers | awk '{for (i = 1; i < NF; i++) print $i}' | grep -v "^{$user}" | shuf -n 1)
628 crimefighter="$(theyfightcrime ${user} ${partner})"
629 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${crimefighter}"
630 ;;
631 "${ircuser}, please give me a commit message.")
632 commitmsg="$(whatthecommit)"
633 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${commitmsg}"
634 ;;
635 "${ircuser}, birp.")
636 birdname="$(bird-name)"
637 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I heard a ${birdname} bird."
638 ;;
639 "${ircuser}, please oneline me.")
640 randomoneliner="$(oneliner)"
641 if [ -z "${randomoneliner}" ];
642 then
643 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, the service failed. Please redial to your BOL account."
644 else
645 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${randomoneliner}"
646 fi
647 ;;
648 *"what's app?")
649 maemoapp="$(whatsapp)"
650 if [ -n "${maemoapp}" ];
651 then
652 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Have you tried? ${maemoapp}"
653 fi
654 ;;
655 "${ircuser}, man "*|"${ircuser}, man "*)
656 exp="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 12- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
657 dresult="$(COLUMNS=80 man "${exp}" 2>/dev/null)"
658
659 if [ "$dresult" ];
660 then
661 puri="$(printf "%s" "${dresult}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
662 else
663 puri="No matches found."
664 fi
665
666 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${puri}"
667 ;;
668 "${ircuser}, please pray for me.")
669 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here, for you: gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/llaminim.mkv"
670 ;;
671 "${ircuser}, nigger."|*nigger*|*NIGGER*)
672 nword="$(n-word)"
673 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, don't use the ${nword}!"
674 ;;
675 "${ircuser}, why was I breached?")
676 breachtext="$(why-was-i-breached)"
677 if [ -n "${breachtext}" ];
678 then
679 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${breachtext}"
680 fi
681 ;;
682 "${ircuser}, please be responsible about "*)
683 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 36- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
684 suri="$(responsibility "${word}" | bitreich-paste)"
685 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
686 ;;
687 "${ircuser}, please say "*)
688 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 19- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
689 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | bitreich-speak)"
690 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
691 ;;
692 "${ircuser}, please zombie say "*)
693 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 26- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
694 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | zombie -e | bitreich-speak)"
695 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
696 ;;
697 "${ircuser}, please unzombie "*)
698 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 24- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
699 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | zombie -d)"
700 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
701 ;;
702 "${ircuser}, please zombie "*)
703 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 22- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
704 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | zombie -e)"
705 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
706 ;;
707 "${ircuser}, please ghost say "*)
708 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 25- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
709 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | ghost -e | bitreich-speak)"
710 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
711 ;;
712 "${ircuser}, please unghost "*)
713 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 23- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
714 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | ghost -d)"
715 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
716 ;;
717 "${ircuser}, please ghost "*)
718 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 21- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
719 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | ghost -e)"
720 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
721 ;;
722 "${ircuser}, what can I cook with "*)
723 ingredients="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 29- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
724 case "$ingredients" in
725 *\?)
726 ingredients="$(printf "%s\n" "${ingredients}" | cut -c -"$(($(expr length "${ingredients}") - 1))")"
727 ;;
728 esac
729
730 results="$(fridge-recipe-search "${ingredients}")"
731 if [ -n "${results}" ];
732 then
733 puri="$(printf "%s\n" "${results}" | bitreich-paste | sed 's,/0/,/1/,')"
734 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here are some recipes: ${puri}"
735 else
736 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I could not find any recipes for you."
737 fi
738 ;;
739 "${ircuser}, gpt "*)
740 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 12- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
741 {
742 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "${prompt}")"
743 } &
744 ;;
745 "Santa, "*|"Sannnta, "*|"santa, "*|"sannnta, "*)
746 personality="santa"
747 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
748 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
749 {
750 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System:${preprompt}\nUser:${prompt}\nBot:")"
751 } &
752 ;;
753 "Satan, "*|"Satannn, "*|"satan, "*|"satannn, "*)
754 personality="satan"
755 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
756 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
757 {
758 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System:${preprompt}\nUser:${prompt}\nBot:")"
759 } &
760 ;;
761 "${ircuser}, wolfram is "*)
762 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 19- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
763 case "$word" in
764 *\?)
765 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$(($(expr length "${word}") - 1))")"
766 ;;
767 esac
768
769 puri=""
770 dresult="$(printf "/wolfram\t%s\r\n" "${word}" \
771 | nc magical.fish 70 \
772 | awk '/iAnswer:/,/iAsk/' \
773 | grep -v '^i ' \
774 | head -n -1 \
775 | tail -n +2 \
776 | sed 's,i\(.*\)fake\texample.com.*,\1,;s,[ \t]*$,,')"
777
778 if [ -n "$dresult" ];
779 then
780 case "${dresult}" in
781 b*)
782 dresult="$(printf "%s\n" "${dresult}" \
783 | tr '\n' ' ' \
784 | sed "s,^b',,;s,' $,," \
785 | sed 's,^b",,;s," $,,' \
786 | sed 's,\\n,\n,g;s,\\t,\t,g')"
787 ;;
788 *)
789 dresult="$(printf "%s\n" "${dresult}" \
790 | sed 's,\([a-zA-Z]\)$,\1 ,' \
791 | tr -d '\n')"
792 ;;
793 esac
794
795 wcl="$(printf "%s" "${dresult}" | wc -l)"
796
797 if [ $wcl -gt 1 ];
798 then
799 puri="$(printf "%s" "${dresult}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
800 else
801 puri="${dresult}"
802 fi
803 else
804 puri="No matches found."
805 fi
806 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${puri}"
807 ;;
808 "${ircuser}, pray"*)
809 # Emulate https://threats.kaspersky.com/en/threat/IRC-Worm.DOS.Septic/
810 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I Obey my master! long live satan"
811 ;;
812 "${ircuser}, sacrifice"*)
813 # Emulate https://threats.kaspersky.com/en/threat/IRC-Worm.DOS.Septic/
814 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Your word is my command, Power to satan!"
815 ;;
816 "${ircuser}, please scare me.")
817 {
818 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(halloween)"
819 } &
820 ;;
821 "${ircuser}, how drunk is "*)
822 {
823 drunknick="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
824 | sed 's,.*how drunk is \(.*\),\1,' \
825 | tr -d '?')"
826 drunkness="$(drunk-meter "${ircbase}/${server}/${channel}/out" "${drunknick}")"
827 if [ -n "${drunkness}" ];
828 then
829 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${drunknick} is ${drunkness} drunk."
830 fi
831 } &
832 ;;
833 "${ircuser}, how do I "*)
834 {
835 gptprompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
836 | sed 's,.*how do I \(.*\),\1,' \
837 | tr -d '?')"
838 gpturi="$(gpt "how do I ${gptprompt}" | bitreich-paste)"
839 if [ -n "${gpturi}" ];
840 then
841 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, try this: ${gpturi}"
842 fi
843 } &
844 ;;
845 "${ircuser}, weather at "*|"${ircuser}, weather in "*)
846 {
847 weatherplace="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
848 | sed 's,.*weather .. \(.*\),\1,' \
849 | tr -d '?')"
850 if weathertext="$(weather "${weatherplace}")"
851 then
852 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, the weather at ${weatherplace} is ${weathertext}"
853 else
854 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, there is no weather at ${weatherplace}."
855 fi
856 } &
857 ;;
858 "${ircuser}, METAR for "*|"${ircuser}, metar for "*|"${ircuser}, metar for "*|"${ircuser}, METAR for "*)
859 resp=$(metar "$(printf '%.4s\n' "${text##* }")")
860 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${resp}"
861 ;;
862 "${ircuser}, how discriminating is "*)
863 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 30- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
864 case "$word" in
865 *\?)
866 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$(($(expr length "${word}") - 1))")"
867 ;;
868 esac
869
870 newword="$(discrimination-filter "${word}")"
871 if [ "${newword}" = "${word}" ];
872 then
873 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, it is ok."
874 else
875 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, it should be: ${newword}"
876 fi
877
878 ;;
879 "${ircuser}, are "*)
880 case "${text}" in
881 *" in love?")
882 words="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.*are \(.*\) and \(.*\) in love?,\1 \2,')"
883 lovedistance="$(printf "%s * 100\n" "$(fstrcmp ${words})" | bc | cut -d'.' -f 1)"
884 if [ $lovedistance -gt 15 ];
885 then
886 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" 'Yes!!! Pure <3 <3'
887 else
888 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "No."
889 fi
890 ;;
891 esac
892 ;;
893 "${ircuser}, is "*)
894 aitext="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 7- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
895 airesult="$(printf "%s\n" "${aitext}" | josuah-ai)"
896 if [ -n "${airesult}" ];
897 then
898 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user},${airesult}"
899 fi
900 ;;
901 "Ok, ${ircuser}"*)
902 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I am not a consumer device."
903 ;;
904 "ok, ${ircuser}"*)
905 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I am not a consumer device."
906 ;;
907 "${ircuser}, please shoot "*|"${ircuser}, plese shoot "*)
908 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 21-)"
909 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${word}, #pewpew gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/pewpew.mp4"
910 ;;
911 "${ircuser}, please quinq.")
912 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "┻━┻ ︵╰(°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻"
913 ;;
914 "${ircuser}, please flip "*)
915 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 20-)"
916 updownword="$(updown "${word}")"
917 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(╯°□°)╯ ${word} ︵ ${updownword}"
918 ;;
919 "${ircuser}, please crystal math "*)
920 math="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 28-)"
921 crystaluri="$(crystal-math "${math}")"
922 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, please see ${crystaluri}"
923 ;;
924 "${ircuser}, please australize "*)
925 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 26-)"
926 updownword="$(updown "${word}")"
927 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${word} -> ${updownword}"
928 ;;
929 "${ircuser}, wtf "*)
930 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 11-)"
931 wtfword="$(wtf "${word}" 2>/dev/null)"
932 if [ -n "${wtfword}" ];
933 then
934 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${wtfword}"
935 fi
936 ;;
937 "${ircuser}, please give me a good band name.")
938 bandname="$(bandname-gen | shuf | head -n 1)"
939 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${bandname}"
940 ;;
941 "${ircuser}, I feel conspicuous.")
942 manifestouri="$(manifesto-gen | bitreich-paste)"
943 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Maybe declare this: ${manifestouri}"
944 ;;
945 "${ircuser}, I am horny.")
946 essaypaste="$(bithub-gen)"
947 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" \
948 "Here is some intellectual porn for you: ${essaypaste}"
949 ;;
950 "${ircuser}, please turn on "*)
951 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 22-)"
952 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "☞ ⏻ ${word}"
953 ;;
954 "${ircuser}, please turn me on.")
955 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "☞ ⏻ ${user}"
956 ;;
957 "${ircuser}, I'm game bored.")
958 gamelink="$(abandonware-random-game)"
959 if [ -z "${gamelink}" ];
960 then
961 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry I have found nothing for you."
962 else
963 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, have you tried ${gamelink} ?"
964 fi
965 ;;
966 "${ircuser}, I need a waifu.")
967 waifuuris="$(waifu-gen)"
968 if [ -n "${waifuuris}" ];
969 then
970 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${waifuuris}"
971 fi
972 ;;
973 "${ircuser}, I need an anime.")
974 animeuri="$(anime-gen)"
975 if [ -n "${animeuri}" ];
976 then
977 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${animeuri}"
978 fi
979 ;;
980 "${ircuser}, I'm gopher bored.")
981 randomlink="$(/br/bin/bitreich-lawn-random-link)"
982 linktype="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f1 | cut -c2-)"
983 linktext="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f2)"
984 linksel="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f3)"
985 linkserver="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f4)"
986 linkport="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f5 | cut -d']' -f1)"
987 outtext="$(printf "%s - gopher://%s" "$linktext" "$linkserver")"
988 if [ "$linkport" != "70" ] && [ "$linkport" != "port" ];
989 then
990 outtext="$(printf "%s:%s" "$outtext" "$linkport")"
991 fi
992 if [ -n "$linksel" ];
993 then
994 outtext="$(printf "%s/%s%s" "$outtext" "$linktype" "$linksel")"
995 fi
996 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$outtext"
997 ;;
998 "${ircuser}, wb.")
999 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ty! I am so happy to be here. :)"
1000 ;;
1001 "${ircuser}, I love you!")
1002 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" $'\001ACTION blushes\001'
1003 ;;
1004 "${ircuser}, bon"*)
1005 insult="$(bonjour)"
1006 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${insult} !"
1007 ;;
1008 "${ircuser}, salut"*)
1009 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Salutations camarade !"
1010 ;;
1011 "${ircuser}, welcome back.")
1012 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, thank you! I am so happy to be here. :)"
1013 ;;
1014 "${ircuser}, what's up?")
1015 newsstr="$(ecl -shell /home/solene/gopher/bin/generator.lisp)"
1016 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$newsstr"
1017 ;;
1018 "${ircuser}, what's down?")
1019 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, we all love you."
1020 ;;
1021 *"ACTION cancels "*)
1022 mobtarget="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.*ACTION cancels \(.*\)\x01,\1,')"
1023 cancel-target "${mobtarget}"
1024 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I cancelled ${mobtarget} for you. ( gophers://bitreich.org/I/memecache/cancel-meteor.jpg )"
1025 ;;
1026 "${ircuser}, please show me the mob"*|"${ircuser}, what are the mob"*)
1027 canceluri="$(get-cancel-list)"
1028 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${canceluri}"
1029 ;;
1030 "${ircuser}, I feel sick.")
1031 newsstr="$(cd /br/gopher/hypochondria && ./hypochondria -s random)"
1032 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "You could have ${newsstr}! Be careful!"
1033 ;;
1034 *"oh hai"*|*"ohai"*|*"ohhai"*)
1035 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, hai! How is your sex life?"
1036 ;;
1037 "o/"|"o/ "*|"\o"|"\o "*|"o7"|"o7 "*)
1038 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${text}"
1039 ;;
1040 "\m/"|"\m/ "*)
1041 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ"
1042 ;;
1043 *"*waves*"*|*"*wave*"*)
1044 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *wave*"
1045 ;;
1046 "twtcs"*|"TWTCS"*)
1047 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, maybe: https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/"
1048 ;;
1049 "twss"*|"TWSS"*)
1050 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, no, I didn't."
1051 ;;
1052 *"cows are nice"*)
1053 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 'Cows are nice, unless you are a blade of grass.' -- Mr. Qi Ng (2023)"
1054 ;;
1055 "${ircuser}, please make me a coffee.")
1056 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ☕"
1057 ;;
1058 "${ircuser}, please tech hype me.")
1059 techstr="$(tech-hype)"
1060 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${techstr}"
1061 ;;
1062 "${ircuser}, please french hype me.")
1063 frenchstr="$(french-hype)"
1064 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${frenchstr}"
1065 ;;
1066 "${ircuser}, please coffee read "*)
1067 readtarget="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 27-)"
1068 horostr="$($HOME/scm/bullshit/horoscope)"
1069 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${readtarget}, ${horostr}"
1070 ;;
1071 "${ircuser}, what's my horoscope?")
1072 horostr="$($HOME/scm/bullshit/horoscope)"
1073 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${horostr}"
1074 ;;
1075 "${ircuser}, what should I cook"*)
1076 recipestr="$(based.recipe)"
1077 if [ -n "${recipestr}" ];
1078 then
1079 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${recipestr}"
1080 else
1081 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I have no recommendation for you today."
1082 fi
1083 ;;
1084 "${ircuser}, what's my future?")
1085 puri="$(sacc gopher://parazyd.org/0/tarot.cgi | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
1086 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, your future is here: ${puri}"
1087 ;;
1088 "${ircuser}, haha.")
1089 {
1090 # Can take long, so run in background.
1091 wuri="$(github-haha)"
1092 if [ -n "${wuri}" ];
1093 then
1094 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, haha ${wuri}"
1095 fi
1096 } &
1097 ;;
1098 "${ircuser}, meow"*)
1099 # https://catgps.wvd.io support
1100 nmeows=$(($RANDOM % 14))
1101 meows="Meow"
1102 for i in $(seq $nmeows);
1103 do
1104 meows="$meows meow"
1105 done
1106 if [ $nmeows -lt 4 ];
1107 then
1108 meows="$meows!"
1109 else
1110 meows="$meows."
1111 fi
1112 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${meows}"
1113 ;;
1114 "${ircuser}, how many memes do you know?")
1115 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "I know $(hashtagcount) memes: gophers://bitreich.org/1/meme/count"
1116 ;;
1117 "${ircuser}, how many people died of corona?")
1118 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, too many. :( Please see yourself: gopher://magical.fish/1/covid"
1119 ;;
1120 "${ircuser}, please show me your memes.")
1121 puri="$(printf "%s" "$(hashtags)" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
1122 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here are my memes: ${puri}"
1123 ;;
1124 "${ircuser}, please show me the victims.")
1125 puri="$(printf "%s" "$(hashtags)" | grep victim | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
1126 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here are the victims: ${puri}"
1127 ;;
1128 "${ircuser}, please distro-hop with me.")
1129 ndistro="$(curl -s 'https://distrowatch.com/dwres.php?resource=popularity' \
1130 | grep phr2 \
1131 | sed 's,.*href="\(.*\)".*,\1,' \
1132 | sort | uniq | shuf -n 1)"
1133 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "How about https://distrowatch.com/${ndistro} ?"
1134 ;;
1135 "${ircuser}, please show me your Macron.")
1136 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "gophers://bitreich.org/0/ascii/macron.vt"
1137 ;;
1138 "${ircuser}, release the Kraken!")
1139 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here it is! gophers://bitreich.org/0/memecache/kraken.vt"
1140 ;;
1141 "${ircuser}, where is your source?")
1142 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here is my precious source: git://bitreich.org/annna "
1143 ;;
1144 "${ircuser}, release the Quacken!")
1145 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Quack Quack! gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/release-the-quacken.mkv"
1146 ;;
1147 "${ircuser}, be cool.")
1148 case "$(($RANDOM % 5))" in
1149 0)
1150 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(⌐■_■)"
1151 ;;
1152 1)
1153 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(▰˘◡˘▰)"
1154 ;;
1155 2)
1156 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(▀ Ĺ▀ )̄"
1157 ;;
1158 3)
1159 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(▀Ĺ▀ )"
1160 ;;
1161 *)
1162 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "I can't be cool! gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/i-cant-be-cool.mp3"
1163 ;;
1164 esac
1165 ;;
1166 "${ircuser}, please cheer.")
1167 case "$(($RANDOM % 2))" in
1168 0)
1169 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" '~\o/~'
1170 ;;
1171 *)
1172 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" '✺◟( ° ʖ °)◞✺'
1173 ;;
1174 esac
1175 ;;
1176 "${ircuser}, please give me a fish.")
1177 case "$(($RANDOM % 2))" in
1178 0)
1179 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" '<><'
1180 ;;
1181 *)
1182 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" '><>'
1183 ;;
1184 esac
1185 ;;
1186 "${ircuser}, be cute.")
1187 case "$(($RANDOM % 4))" in
1188 0)
1189 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (\ /)'
1190 sleep 0.1
1191 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (. .)'
1192 sleep 0.1
1193 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' C(") (")'
1194 ;;
1195 1)
1196 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (\-/)'
1197 sleep 0.1
1198 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" " (='.'=)"
1199 sleep 0.1
1200 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (")-(")o'
1201 ;;
1202 2)
1203 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' ( ) ( )'
1204 sleep 0.1
1205 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (>•.•<)'
1206 sleep 0.1
1207 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (") (")'
1208 ;;
1209 *)
1210 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (\ (\'
1211 sleep 0.1
1212 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" " (=' :')"
1213 sleep 0.1
1214 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (, (") (")'
1215 ;;
1216 esac
1217 ;;
1218 "${ircuser}, 8ball "*)
1219 eightballanswer="$(8ball)"
1220 if [ -n "${eightballanswer}" ];
1221 then
1222 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${eightballanswer}"
1223 fi
1224 ;;
1225 "${ircuser}, please throw a coin for me.")
1226 case "$((($RANDOM % 2) + 1))" in
1227 1)
1228 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "face"
1229 ;;
1230 2)
1231 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "number"
1232 ;;
1233 esac
1234 ;;
1235 "${ircuser}, please quantum roll d2 for me.")
1236 qroll="$(($(/home/20h/scm/quantum-rng/quantum-rng) + 1))"
1237 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${qroll} [1d2(scores:[${qroll}])]"
1238 ;;
1239 "${ircuser}, please roll "*" for me.")
1240 q="${text#* roll }"
1241 q="${q%for*}"
1242
1243 # https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dice_notation
1244 # six-sided dice one time
1245 [ -z "${q}" ] && q="d6"
1246 [ "${q}" = "a die " ] && q="d6"
1247 [ "${q}" = "dice " ] && q="d6"
1248
1249 dicescore="$(dice "${q}")"
1250 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${dicescore}"
1251 ;;
1252 "${ircuser}, please tell me your favourite flower.")
1253 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "My favourite flower is the beer flower."
1254 ;;
1255 "${ircuser}, please tell me your favourite color.")
1256 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "My favourite color is yellow."
1257 ;;
1258 "${ircuser}, please clap for me.")
1259 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *clap* *clap* *clap*"
1260 ;;
1261 "${ircuser}, which city does not exist?")
1262 cityuri="$(this-city-does-not-exist)"
1263 if [ -n "${cityuri}" ];
1264 then
1265 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, this one: ${cityuri}"
1266 else
1267 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, none."
1268 fi
1269 ;;
1270 "For humanity!")
1271 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, for humanity! gophers://bitreich.org/0/memecache/annna-rchism.txt"
1272 ;;
1273 "Hack the planet!")
1274 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, hack the planet!"
1275 ;;
1276 "Long live gopher!")
1277 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, long live gopher!"
1278 ;;
1279 ":)"|":))"|":)))"|":-)"|":-))"|":-)))"|":--)"|":--))"|":--)))"|":---)"|":----)"|"llol"|"lllol")
1280 smileface="$(smile)"
1281 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${smileface}"
1282 ;;
1283 "${ircuser}, please dance."|"\\o/"|"\^o^/")
1284 dancemoves="$(dance-moves-gen)"
1285 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${dancemoves}"
1286 ;;
1287 "${ircuser}, let us celebrate!"|"/o/"|"\o\\")
1288 dancemoves="$(dance-moves-gen -m)"
1289 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${dancemoves}"
1290 ;;
1291 "${ircuser}, please egyptian dance."|"${ircuser}, let us egyptian celebrate!"|"~o~"|"|o|")
1292 dancemoves="$(dance-moves-gen -e)"
1293 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${dancemoves}"
1294 ;;
1295 "${ircuser}, please stamp this letter for me.")
1296 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${user}, here: 🖃 "
1297 ;;
1298 "${ircuser}, please do the graveyard smash.")
1299 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "( つ ･ᴗ･)つ"
1300 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "ς ( ･ᴗ･ ς )"
1301 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "It did the mash\\ It did the ~~MONSTER MASH~~\\ It was a smash\\ It was a ~~GRAVEYARD SMASH~~"
1302 ;;
1303 "${ircuser}, boo."|"${ircuser}, boo!")
1304 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 👻"
1305 ;;
1306 "${ircuser}, W3C."|"${ircuser}, w3c.")
1307 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 🕸️ 🕷️ 🕸️"
1308 ;;
1309 "${ircuser}, pumpkin.")
1310 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 🎃"
1311 ;;
1312 "${ircuser}, trick or treat"*|"${ircuser}, treat or trick"*)
1313 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Wait for it. Old annnama is searching ..."
1314 {
1315 sleeptime="$(( $RANDOM % 120 + 10 ))"
1316 if [ $sleeptime -gt 60 ];
1317 then
1318 sleep "$(( $RANDOM % 30 + 20 ))"
1319 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *swish* *swish* old annnama is still searching."
1320 sleeptime="$(( $RANDOM % 60 + 10 ))"
1321 fi
1322 sleep $sleeptime
1323
1324 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, $(trick-or-treat)"
1325 } &
1326 ;;
1327 "${ircuser}, please dance with me.")
1328 if [ $(($RANDOM % 2)) -gt 0 ];
1329 then
1330 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "I am not that kind of woman."
1331 else
1332 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Thank you! Let us dance! :-D"
1333 fi
1334 ;;
1335 "${ircuser}, please tell me who is your favourite pleasure man.")
1336 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "My favourite pleasure man is of course Gunther!"
1337 ;;
1338 "${ircuser}, make me a sandwich"*)
1339 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "No."
1340 ;;
1341 "${ircuser}, sudo make me a sandwich"*)
1342 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Humans are no objects."
1343 ;;
1344 "${ircuser}, please make me a sandwich"*)
1345 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Maybe."
1346 ;;
1347 "${ircuser}, sudo please make me a sandwich"*)
1348 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here is your sandwich."
1349 ;;
1350 "${ircuser}, I feel unsure about my health.")
1351 healthadvice="$(health-advice)"
1352 if [ -n "${healthadvice}" ];
1353 then
1354 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${healthadvice}"
1355 fi
1356 ;;
1357 "${ircuser}, bonjour !")
1358 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, bonjour !"
1359 ;;
1360 *" pets ${ircuser}"*)
1361 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *brrrrr*"
1362 ;;
1363 "${ircuser}, please give me a penis extension.")
1364 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here: $(penis-extension)"
1365 ;;
1366 "${ircuser}, please give me a baguette extension.")
1367 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here: $(baguette-extension)"
1368 ;;
1369 "${ircuser}, please give me an allah extension.")
1370 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here: $(allah-extension)"
1371 ;;
1372 "${ircuser}, please pull my finger.")
1373 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, you are disgusting."
1374 ;;
1375 "${ircuser}, what's up in Japan?")
1376 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, see for yourself: https://nhk3.mov3.co/hls/nhk.m3u8"
1377 ;;
1378 "${ircuser}, please mqtt"*)
1379 mqtturi="$(printf '%s\n' "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 3)"
1380 case "${mqtturi}" in
1381 mqtt:*)
1382 #mqtt:// full URI specified
1383 ;;
1384 *)
1385 #mqtt/sensor specified
1386 mqtturi="mqtts://bitreich:oogui3queex&o9zaekah@bitreich.org/${mqtturi#mqtt}"
1387 ;;
1388 esac
1389 msg="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
1390 printf "${msg}\n" | mosquitto_pub -L "${mqtturi}" -l
1391 ;;
1392 *"zuckerberg"*|*"Zuckerberg"*)
1393 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, did you mean gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/mark-suckerberg.mp4 ?"
1394 ;;
1395 "${ircuser}, please pick one of: "*)
1396 pick="$(printf '%s\n' "${text}" \
1397 | sed 's/.*please pick one of: //' \
1398 | tr ',' '\n' \
1399 | tr -d ' ' \
1400 | sort -R \
1401 | head -n 1)"
1402 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I think ${pick} is the best option."
1403 ;;
1404 "${ircuser}, please play some Bach"*)
1405 midifile="$(find . /home/annna/bin/modules/midi-media/bach -name '*.mid' \
1406 | sort -R \
1407 | head -n 1)"
1408 outfile="/br/gopher/midi/${midifile##*/}.ogg"
1409 if midi-play "$midifile" >"$outfile"; then
1410 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/9/midi/${outfile##*/}"
1411 fi
1412 ;;
1413 "${ircuser}, please antidepressant #"*|\
1414 "${ircuser}, please amplify #"*|\
1415 "${ircuser}, please amsterdamify #"*|\
1416 "${ircuser}, please banjo #"*|\
1417 "${ircuser}, please bounce #"*|\
1418 "${ircuser}, please breakingnews #"*|\
1419 "${ircuser}, please celtify #"*|\
1420 "${ircuser}, please concatenate #"*|\
1421 "${ircuser}, please crimetv #"*|\
1422 "${ircuser}, please curb #"*|\
1423 "${ircuser}, please daybowbow #"*|\
1424 "${ircuser}, please deathmetal #"*|\
1425 "${ircuser}, please developers #"*|\
1426 "${ircuser}, please dontdoit #"*|\
1427 "${ircuser}, please dontsaytoyourmother #"*|\
1428 "${ircuser}, please doomify #"*|\
1429 "${ircuser}, please dutchapprove #"*|\
1430 "${ircuser}, please french #"*|\
1431 "${ircuser}, please FRENCH #"*|\
1432 "${ircuser}, please imam #"*|\
1433 "${ircuser}, please loop #"*|\
1434 "${ircuser}, please looop #"*|\
1435 "${ircuser}, please mow #"*|\
1436 "${ircuser}, please namflashback #"*|\
1437 "${ircuser}, please news #"*|\
1438 "${ircuser}, please pullmyfinger #"*|\
1439 "${ircuser}, please putin #"*|\
1440 "${ircuser}, please reverse #"*|\
1441 "${ircuser}, please richardstrauss #"*|\
1442 "${ircuser}, please ritual #"*|\
1443 "${ircuser}, please sadviolin #"*|\
1444 "${ircuser}, please science #"*|\
1445 "${ircuser}, please scrollify #"*|\
1446 "${ircuser}, please sendtohell #"*|\
1447 "${ircuser}, please sexify #"*|\
1448 "${ircuser}, please slavify #"*|\
1449 "${ircuser}, please slowdown #"*|\
1450 "${ircuser}, please smith #"*|\
1451 "${ircuser}, please speedup #"*|\
1452 "${ircuser}, please techno #"*|\
1453 "${ircuser}, please technodrugs #"*|\
1454 "${ircuser}, please thin #"*|\
1455 "${ircuser}, please torture #"*|\
1456 "${ircuser}, please tshirt #"*|\
1457 "${ircuser}, please trumpapprove #"*|\
1458 "${ircuser}, please USAUSA #"*|\
1459 "${ircuser}, please USA #"*|\
1460 "${ircuser}, please usa #"*|\
1461 "${ircuser}, please wat #"*|\
1462 "${ircuser}, please widen #"*|\
1463 "${ircuser}, please ww1 #"*|\
1464 "${ircuser}, please yellow #"*|\
1465 "${ircuser}, please zucc #"*|\
1466 "${ircuser}, please random #"*)
1467 hashtag="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's/.*#//; s/ .*//' )"
1468 recipient="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's/.* for //' )"
1469 origext="$(grep -E "^#${hashtag} " "${hashtagfile}" | sed 's/.*\.//')"
1470 {
1471 filter="$(printf '%s\n' "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f3)"
1472 if [ "${filter}" = "random" ];
1473 then
1474 filters=("antidepressant" "amplify" "amsterdamify"
1475 "banjo" "bounce" "breakingnews"
1476 "celtify" "concatenate" "crimetv"
1477 "curb" "daybowbow" "deathmetal"
1478 "developers" "dontdoit" "dontsaytoyourmother"
1479 "doomify" "dutchapprove" "french"
1480 "FRENCH" "imam" "loop" "looop"
1481 "mow" "namflashback" "news"
1482 "pullmyfinger" "putin" "reverse"
1483 "richardstrauss" "ritual" "sadviolin"
1484 "science" "scrollify" "sendtohell"
1485 "sexify" "slavify" "slowdown"
1486 "smith" "speedup" "techno"
1487 "technodrugs" "thin" "torture"
1488 "tshirt" "trumpapprove" "USAUSA"
1489 "usa" "wat" "widen" "ww1"
1490 "yellow" "zucc")
1491 filter="${filters[ $RANDOM % ${#filters[@]} ]}"
1492 fi
1493 outfile="${filter}-${hashtag}.mkv"
1494 outpath="/br/gopher/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1495 inpath="/br/gopher/memecache/${hashtag}.${origext}"
1496
1497 [ ! -f "${inpath}" ] && exit 0
1498
1499 # outfile and outpath filtering for the cache.
1500 case "${filter}" in
1501 antidepressant|ritual|putin|tshirt)
1502 outfile="${outfile%.*}.jpg"
1503 outpath="${outpath%.*}.jpg"
1504 ;;
1505 wat|smith|zucc)
1506 mimetype="$(file --mime-type "$inpath" | cut -d':' -f 2 | cut -c 2-)"
1507 # Only allow images to be free.
1508 case "$mimetype" in
1509 image/webp)
1510 # deface does not like webp. Make it png.
1511 newinpath="$(mktemp -u -p /tmp "${infile%.*}XXXXX.png")"
1512 magick convert "${inpath}" "${newinpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1513 inpath="${newinpath}"
1514
1515 outfile="${outfile%.*}.png"
1516 outpath="${outpath%.*}.png"
1517 ;;
1518 image/*)
1519 outfile="${outfile%.*}.${origext}"
1520 outpath="${outpath%.*}.${origext}"
1521 ;;
1522 esac
1523 esac
1524
1525 if [ "${recipient}" != "${text}" ];
1526 then
1527 user="${recipient}"
1528 fi
1529
1530 # Cleanup if outpath file is empty.
1531 [ -f "${outpath}" ] && [ ! -s "${outpath}" ] && rm "${outpath}"
1532
1533 # determine gopher type for output file
1534 outmimetype="$(file -ib "${outpath}")"
1535 case "$outmimetype" in
1536 image/*)
1537 outtype="I";;
1538 *)
1539 outtype="9";;
1540 esac
1541
1542 if [ -s "${outpath}" ];
1543 then
1544 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/${outtype}/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1545 exit 0
1546 fi
1547
1548 case "${filter}" in
1549 antidepressant)
1550 antidepressant "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1551 ;;
1552 ritual)
1553 satanic-ritual "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1554 ;;
1555 putin)
1556 putin-os "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1557 ;;
1558 tshirt)
1559 tshirt-design "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1560 ;;
1561 *)
1562 ffmpeg-effect "${filter}" "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1563 ;;
1564 esac
1565
1566 # Remove temporary png for deface.
1567 case "${inpath}" in
1568 /tmp/*.png)
1569 [ -e "${inpath}" ] && rm "${inpath}"
1570 ;;
1571 esac
1572
1573 if [ -s "${outpath}" ];
1574 then
1575 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/${outtype}/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1576 fi
1577 } &
1578 exit 0
1579 ;;
1580 "${ircuser}, please 3d "*)
1581 args=$(echo ${text} | cut -d' ' -f 4-)
1582 outfile=$(blender-effect $args)
1583 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/I/memecache/3d/${outfile}"
1584 ;;
1585 "${ircuser}, droggelbecher"*)
1586 # https://ednaundharvey.fandom.com/de/wiki/Droggelbecher
1587 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Droggelbecher!"
1588 ;;
1589 "${ircuser}, thanks"*|"${ircuser}, thx"*)
1590 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, you're welcome."
1591 ;;
1592 "${ircuser}, please simulate "*" simulator"*)
1593 q="${text#* please simulate }"
1594 q="${q% simulator*}"
1595 outpath="/br/gopher/p/"
1596 {
1597 if outfile="$(simulate-simulator "$q")"
1598 then
1599 mv "${outfile}" "${outpath}/"
1600 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/I/p/${outfile}"
1601 fi
1602 } &
1603 ;;
1604 "${ircuser}, can "*" certify itself?")
1605 q="${text#* can }"
1606 q="${q% certify*}"
1607 {
1608 # host:port is needed for tlsgrab
1609 curi="$(tlsgrab "${q}")"
1610 if [ -n "${curi}" ];
1611 then
1612 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, let us see the certificate: ${curi}"
1613 fi
1614 } &
1615 ;;
1616 "${ircuser}, please mine "*" bitreichcoin"*)
1617 q="${text#* please mine }"
1618 q="${q% bitreichcoin*}"
1619 curi="$(bitreichcoin "$q" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
1620 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, please don't spend it all at once: ${curi}"
1621 ;;
1622 "${ircuser}, please hug me.")
1623 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION hugs ${user}$(echo -e '\001')"
1624 ;;
1625 "${ircuser}, please hug "*" for me.")
1626 huggee="${text#* please hug }"
1627 huggee="${huggee% for me*}"
1628 if [ -n "${huggee}" ];
1629 then
1630 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION hugs ${huggee}$(echo -e '\001')"
1631 fi
1632 ;;
1633 "${ircuser}, how many fucks were given?")
1634 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, current fucks given: 0.0"
1635 ;;
1636 "${ircuser}, please slam the door.")
1637 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *BANG*"
1638 ;;
1639 "${ircuser}, what is my credit score?")
1640 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, your credit score is 0."
1641 ;;
1642 "${ircuser}, please give me a cookie.")
1643 cookie="$(cookie)"
1644 if [ -n "${cookie}" ];
1645 then
1646 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION gives ${user} a ${cookie} cookie$(echo -e '\001')"
1647 fi
1648 ;;
1649 "${ircuser}, please help.")
1650 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${user}" "See git://bitreich.org/annna for my commands."
1651 ;;
1652 "${ircuser}, please meme meme meme me.")
1653 randomtag=2
1654 while [ $randomtag -gt 0 ];
1655 do
1656 rtag="$(printf "%s\n" "$(hashtags)" | shuf -n 1)"
1657 tagname=""
1658 taguri=""
1659 for tag in ${rtag};
1660 do
1661 [ -z "${tagname}" ] && tagname="${tag}" && continue
1662 taguri="${tag}"
1663 done
1664
1665 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${tagname}: ${taguri}"
1666
1667 randomtag=$((randomtag - 1))
1668 done
1669 ;;
1670 "${ircuser}, what's the wheelchair shooter meme again?")
1671 tagname="#scrollby"
1672 tagline="$(printf "%s\n" "$(hashtags)" | grep "^${tagname} ")"
1673 tagname="$(printf "%s\n" "${tagline}" | cut -d ' ' -f 1)"
1674 taguri="$(printf "%s\n" "${tagline}" | cut -d ' ' -f 2-)"
1675 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${tagname}: ${taguri}"
1676 ;;
1677 "${ircuser}, TIL "*)
1678 minimum_learned_len=12
1679 offset=$(( ${#ircuser} + 6 ))
1680 learned="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
1681 | cut -c $offset- \
1682 | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
1683 if [ ${#learned} -le $minimum_learned_len ];
1684 then
1685 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, can you explain better what you learned?"
1686 else
1687 result="$(til ${user} "${learned}")"
1688 if [ $? -eq 0 ];
1689 then
1690 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${result}"
1691 fi
1692 fi
1693 ;;
1694 "${ircuser}, what have I learned?")
1695 if result=$(til-user ${user});
1696 then
1697 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${result}"
1698 fi
1699 ;;
1700
1701 esac
1702
1703 printf '%s' "$text" | awk -v taglimit="$printnhashtags" '
1704 $0 !~ /#nospoil/ {
1705 while (match($0, /[#*&]+[^# /"'\'',?!;$\001]+/)) {
1706 tag = substr($0, RSTART, RLENGTH)
1707 $0 = substr($0, RSTART + RLENGTH)
1708 sub(/[.]*$/, "", tag)
1709 if (!uniq[tag]++ && taglimit-- > 0)
1710 print tag
1711 }
1712 }' | head -n "$printnhashtags" | while read -r tag;
1713 do
1714 [ "${tag}" = "#expand" ] && continue
1715
1716 origtag="${tag}"
1717 pointer=0
1718 revpointer=0
1719 case "${tag}" in
1720 "*"*)
1721 tag="#$(printf "%s\n" "${tag}" | sed "s,^[\*]*,,")"
1722 pointer=1
1723 ;;
1724 "&"*)
1725 tag="#$(printf "%s\n" "${tag}" | sed "s,^[\&]*,,")"
1726 revpointer=1
1727 ;;
1728 *)
1729 esac
1730
1731 tagline="$(grep "${tag} " "${hashtagfile}" | shuf -n 1)";
1732 if [ -n "${tagline}" ];
1733 then
1734 if [ $nospoil -eq 0 ];
1735 then
1736 if [ $pointer -eq 1 ];
1737 then
1738 inpath="/br/gopher/memecache/${tagline##*/}"
1739 [ ! -f "${inpath}" ] && exit 0
1740
1741 outfile="${tag#\#}.jpg"
1742 # pointy pointers
1743 outpath="$(printf "%s\n" "${origtag}" \
1744 | sed 's,\*,&\n,g' \
1745 | grep "^*" \
1746 | while read -r asterisk;
1747 do
1748 outfile="*${outfile}"
1749 outpath="/br/gopher/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1750 printf "%s\n" "${outpath}"
1751 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1752 then
1753 inpath="${outpath}";
1754 continue
1755 fi
1756 pointer "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;
1757 inpath="${outpath}";
1758 done | tail -n 1)"
1759
1760 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1761 then
1762 outfile="$(basename "${outpath}")"
1763 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${origtag}: gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1764 fi
1765 elif [ $revpointer -eq 1 ];
1766 then
1767 inpath="/br/gopher/memecache/${tagline##*/}"
1768 [ ! -f "${inpath}" ] && exit 0
1769
1770 outfile="${tag#\#}.jpg"
1771 # pointy pointers
1772 outpath="$(printf "%s\n" "${origtag}" \
1773 | sed 's,\&,&\n,g' \
1774 | grep "^&" \
1775 | while read -r asterisk;
1776 do
1777 outfile="&${outfile}"
1778 outpath="/br/gopher/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1779 printf "%s\n" "${outpath}"
1780 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1781 then
1782 inpath="${outpath}";
1783 continue
1784 fi
1785 revpointer "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;
1786 inpath="${outpath}";
1787 done | tail -n 1)"
1788
1789 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1790 then
1791 outfile="$(basename "${outpath}")"
1792 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${origtag}: gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1793 fi
1794 else
1795 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${tagline% *}: ${tagline#* }"
1796 fi
1797 fi
1798 else
1799 if [ $doexpand -eq 1 ];
1800 then
1801 taglength=$(utf8expr length "${tag}")
1802 if [ $uriexpansion -eq 0 ] && [ $taglength -gt 3 ];
1803 then
1804 didyoumean="$(annna-meme-recommend "${tag}")"
1805 if [ -n "${didyoumean}" ];
1806 then
1807 annna-say -c "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Did you mean: ${didyoumean}?"
1808 fi
1809 fi
1810 fi
1811 fi
1812 done
1813
1814 case "${text}" in
1815 *\#nospoil*)
1816 ;;
1817 *rfc[0-9]*)
1818 rfcname="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.*\(rfc[0-9]*\).*,\1,')"
1819 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${rfcname}: ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/${rfcname}.txt"
1820 ;;
1821 *RFC[0-9]*)
1822 rfcname="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.*\(RFC[0-9]*\).*,\1,' | tr '[A-Z]' '[a-z]')"
1823 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${rfcname}: ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/${rfcname}.txt"
1824 ;;
1825 esac
1826
1827 # Always keep the karma / shame last!
1828 case "${text}" in
1829 *"-shaming"*)
1830 shametext="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.* \(.*-shaming\).*,\1,')"
1831 shame "${shametext}" >/dev/null
1832 ;;
1833 *"arma is a bitch"*)
1834 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I object! Karma is a nice girl!"
1835 ;;
1836 "score "*)
1837 # For referee scoring.
1838 ;;
1839 *++|*--|*-=?|*+=?|*+=-?|*-=-?)
1840 karmatext="$(karma "${text}")"
1841 if [ -n "$karmatext" ];
1842 then
1843 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "karma: ${karmatext}"
1844 fi
1845 ;;
1846 esac
1847
1848 # Membership Level.
1849 ismember=0
1850 for member in $brmembers;
1851 do
1852 [ "$user" = "$member" ] && ismember=1
1853 done
1854 [ $ismember -lt 1 ] && exit
1855
1856 case "${text}" in
1857 "${ircuser}, please go to sleep.")
1858 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Going to sleep ... Zzzz ..."
1859 touch "${ircbase}/annna-is-sleeping"
1860 ;;
1861 "${ircuser}, please wake up.")
1862 rm -f "${ircbase}/annna-is-sleeping"
1863 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Good morning BITREICH!"
1864 ;;
1865 "${ircuser}, can you show me the uptime please?")
1866 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(hostname) uptime: $(uptime)"
1867 ;;
1868 "${ircuser}, please show me the load.")
1869 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(hostname) load: $(LANG=C uptime | sed 's,.*load average: \(.*\)$,\1,')"
1870 ;;
1871 "${ircuser}, please give me the count of online users.")
1872 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(hostname): $(who -q | tail -n 1 | cut -d'=' -f 2)"
1873 ;;
1874 "${ircuser}, please update the phlog index.")
1875 phlog-index > /dev/null 2>&1
1876 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Thanks! Your request has been fulfilled with the quickness! :)"
1877 ;;
1878 esac
1879
1880 # Referee Level.
1881 isreferee=0
1882 for referee in $referees;
1883 do
1884 [ "$user" = "$referee" ] && isreferee=1
1885 done
1886 [ $isreferee -lt 1 ] && exit
1887
1888 case "${text}" in
1889 "score "*)
1890 text="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f2-)"
1891 case "${text}" in
1892 *++|*--|*-=?|*+=?|*+=-?|*-=-?|*-=??|*+=??|*-=-??|*-=65536*)
1893 scoretext="$(brcon-score "${text}")"
1894 if [ -n "$scoretext" ];
1895 then
1896 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "brcon score: ${scoretext}"
1897 fi
1898 ;;
1899 esac
1900 ;;
1901 esac
1902