annna-message-common - annna - Annna the nice friendly bot.
HTML git clone git://bitreich.org/annna/ git://enlrupgkhuxnvlhsf6lc3fziv5h2hhfrinws65d7roiv6bfj7d652fid.onion/annna/
DIR Log
DIR Files
DIR Refs
DIR Tags
DIR README
---
annna-message-common (66102B)
---
1 #!/bin/bash
2
3 export PATH="/br/bin:$PATH"
4
5 cfgbase="$(pwd)"
6 ircbase="$(cat ${cfgbase}/ircbase)"
7 modbase="$(cat ${cfgbase}/modbase)"
8 hashtagfile="${modbase}/hashtags/hashtags.txt"
9 idontcaredb="${modbase}/i-dont-care/i-dont-care.txt"
10 printnhashtags=2
11 brmembers="__20h__ Evil_Bob chripo posativ quinq stateless solene josuah parazyd bin KatolaZ adc Athas ROYGBYTE"
12 referees="__20h__"
13 ignorednicks="eidolon"
14 linkbrotherchannels="#bitreich-meme"
15
16 server="$1"
17 ircuser="$(cat ${cfgbase}/${server}/ircuser)"
18 channel="$2"
19 user="$3"
20 text="$4"
21 cmd="$5"
22 annnasumerian="𒈹"
23 annnabirthday="1989-05-18"
24
25 hashtags() {
26 cat ${hashtagfile} 2>/dev/null
27 }
28
29 hashtagcount() {
30 int2bit "$(curl -s gophers://bitreich.org/1/meme/count \
31 | grep total \
32 | head -n 1 \
33 | sed 's,.*total on .*: \([0-9]*\)),\1,')"
34 }
35
36 regeximatch() {
37 printf '%s' "$1" | grep -i -E -q "$2"
38 }
39
40 #printf "%s %s %s %s\n" "${0##*/}" "${channel}" "${user}" "${text}"
41
42 [ "$user" = "${ircuser}" ] && exit 0
43
44 isignored=0
45 for ignorednick in $ignorednicks;
46 do
47 [ "$user" = "$ignorednick" ] && isignored=1
48 done
49 [ $isignored -eq 1 ] && exit
50
51 # Flag, if some expansion of some URI happened.
52 uriexpansion=0
53 # Do not spoil at all.
54 nospoil=0
55 # Enforce spoiling in case of hard nospoil filter.
56 dospoil=0
57 # Expand meme hashtag and show recommendations.
58 doexpand=0
59
60 [ -z "${text}" ] && exit 0
61 case "${text}" in
62 *\#nospoil*)
63 nospoil=1
64 ;;
65 *\#expand*)
66 doexpand=1
67 ;;
68 *::*::*)
69 if [ $(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji 2>/dev/null | wc -l) -gt 3 ];
70 then
71 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry, gophers://bitreich.org/I/memecache/bitreich-burning.png"
72 else
73 {
74 query=${text#**::} query=${query%%::*}
75 emojiuri="$(stable-diffusion-emoji "${query}")"
76 if [ -n "${emojiuri}" ];
77 then
78 if [ -n "${user}" ] && [ "${user}" != "annna-cmd" ];
79 then
80 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${emojiuri}"
81 else
82 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${emojiuri}"
83 fi
84 fi
85 } &
86 fi
87 ;;
88 *http*://*|*ytdl://*)
89 case "${text}" in
90 *"#spoil"*)
91 dospoil=1
92 ;;
93 esac
94
95 case "${text}" in
96 *http*://*)
97 uri="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
98 | sed -n '/.*\(https\{0,1\}:\/\/[^ ]\{1,\}\).*/s//\1/p')"
99 ;;
100 *ytdl://*)
101 ytid="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
102 | sed -n '/.*ytdl:\/\/\([^ ]\{1,\}\).*/s//\1/p')"
103 uri="$(printf "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=%s" "${ytid}")"
104 ;;
105 esac
106
107 # Set below and annna will concatenate at the end.
108 # HTML title.
109 urititle=""
110 # Subtitle URI.
111 sturi=""
112 # Replacement URI.
113 nuri=""
114 # Replacement URI display string.
115 nuris=""
116 # html2text content.
117 curi=""
118 # Set to 0, if some URI content should be shown.
119 nocuri=1
120 # Screenshot.
121 suri=""
122
123 # titleend=1 will not output any further.
124 titleend=0
125 outputstr=""
126
127 if is-invidious-instance "${uri}";
128 then
129 host="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" \
130 | sed 's,.*://\([^/]*\).*,\1,')"
131 if [ -n "${host}" ];
132 then
133 uri="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" \
134 | sed "s,${host},youtube.com,")"
135 fi
136 fi
137
138 tmpf=$(mktemp)
139 fetch-uri "${uri}" > "${tmpf}"
140 if [ ! -s "${tmpf}" ];
141 then
142 archiveorguri="$(archiveorg-uri "${uri}")"
143 if [ -n "${archiveorguri}" ];
144 then
145 sarchiveorguri="$(bitreich-uri-shortener "${archiveorguri}")"
146 nuris="archive: ${sarchiveorguri}"
147 fetch-uri "${archiveorguri}" > "${tmpf}"
148 fi
149 fi
150 [ -s "${tmpf}" ] && urititle="$(grabtitle < "${tmpf}")"
151
152 case "${urititle}" in
153 "")
154 ;;
155 *Gunther*|*GUNTHER*|*Günther*|*GÜNTHER*)
156 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Oh Günther! ❤ ❤ ❤ ${urititle}"
157 uriexpansion=1
158 ;;
159 *\|\ Cloudflare*|"Just a moment...")
160 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Mind your own business! We got clownflared: gophers://bitreich.org/0/ascii/clownflare.vt"
161 titleend=1
162 uriexpansion=1
163 ;;
164 esac
165
166 case "${uri}" in
167 "")
168 ;;
169 *github.com/*/blob/*)
170 urltitle=""
171 nuris="$(printf '%s' "${uri}" | sed 's/blob/raw/')"
172 nocuri=0
173 ;;
174 *imgur.com/*)
175 nuris="$(youtube-dl -g "${uri}")" || nuris=""
176 ;;
177 *xkcd.com/*)
178 nuris="$(xkcd-uri "${uri}")"
179 ;;
180 *imdb.com/title/*)
181 imdbstr="$(imdb2gopherbay "${uri}")"
182 if [ -n "${imdbstr}" ];
183 then
184 nuris="${imdbstr}"
185 urititle=""
186 fi
187 ;;
188 # bay.parazy.de is unmaintained
189 #*themoviedb.org/movie/*)
190 # movietitle="$(themoviedb2gopherbay "${uri}" | sed 's, ,+,g')"
191 # if [ -n "${movietitle}" ];
192 # then
193 # nuris="gophers://bay.parazy.de:666/1/q.dcgi?${movietitle}"
194 # fi
195 # ;;
196 *lichess.org/????????|*lichess.org/????????/|*lichess.org/????????/black|*lichess.org/????????/white)
197 nuris="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" \
198 | sed 's,https://lichess.org\(/[^ ]*\)$,\1,; s,^/\([^/]*\)/black$,/black/\1,; s,/white,,; s,\(.*\),https://lichess1.org/game/export/gif\1.gif,;')"
199 ;;
200 *npr.org/*)
201 post="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -n 's@.*/\([0-9]\{10\}\)/.*$@\1@p')"
202 if [ -n "${post}" ];
203 then
204 nuri="https://text.npr.org/${post}"
205 nuris="text only: ${nuri}"
206 fi
207 ;;
208 *csdb.dk/release/*)
209 sid=$(awk '/<a href="download\.php.*\.sid/ { match($0, /https:\/\/.*\.sid</); print substr($0, RSTART, RLENGTH-1); exit }' "$tmpf")
210 [ -n "$sid" ] && nuris="listen: $sid"
211 ;;
212 *www.forgottenweapons.com/*)
213 ytid=$(sed -n '/<meta name="description"/ s/.*https:\/\/youtu\.be\/\([-A-Za-z0-9_]\{11\}\).*/\1/p' "$tmpf")
214 if [ -n "$ytid" ]; then
215 nuris="video: ytdl://$ytid ;"
216 nuris="$nuris metadata: gophers://codemadness.org/1/idiotbox.cgi?v=$ytid"
217 fi
218 ;;
219 *www.reddit.com*)
220 nuri="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed "s;www.reddit.com;old.reddit.com;")"
221 nuris="old.reddit: ${nuri}"
222 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
223 if [ -n "${uri#*www.reddit.com/r/*}" ];
224 then
225 subreddit="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | cut -d / -f 5)"
226 post="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | cut -d / -f 7)"
227 if [ -n "${post}" ];
228 then
229 guri="gopher://gopherddit.com/1/cgi-bin/reddit.cgi?view&${post}&${subreddit}&10"
230 else
231 guri="gopher://gopherddit.com/1/cgi-bin/reddit.cgi?menu&${subreddit}&10"
232 fi
233 nuris="${nuri} ; gopherdit: ${guri}"
234 fi
235 nocuri=0
236 ;;
237 *taz.de*)
238 newsid="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed 's,.*\(![0-9]*\).*,\1,')"
239 if [ -n "${newsid}" ];
240 then
241 urititle="$(curl-grabtitle "${uri}")"
242 nuris="gopher://taz.de/1/${newsid}"
243 nocuri=1
244 fi
245 ;;
246 *x.com/*/status/*)
247 tid="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" | sed 's,.*status/\([0-9]*\)$,\1,')"
248 if [ -n "${tid}" ];
249 then
250 nuris="https://twitter-thread.com/pdf/${tid}"
251 nocuri=1
252 fi
253 ;;
254 *twitter.com*)
255 #ninstance="$(nitter-instance | sed 's,\.,\\\.,g')"
256 #nuri="$(printf "%s\n" "${uri}" | sed "s;\(mobile\.\)\{0,1\}twitter\.com;${ninstance};")"
257 fetch-uri "${uri}" > "${tmpf}"
258 urititle="$(curl-grabtitle "${uri}")"
259 #suri="$(screenshot-paste "${uri}")"
260 #nuris="nitter: ${nuri}"
261 nocuri=0
262 ;;
263 *.wikipedia.org/wiki/*)
264 if ! regeximatch "$uri" '\.(jpg,bmp,gif,png,tiff,avi,mp4,webm,mkv,pdf,ps,eps)$';
265 then
266 nuri="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -Ee "s;/wiki/;/api/rest_v1/page/pdf/;" -e "s;(\?|#).*$;;")"
267 nuris="$(printf 'pdf: %s\n' "${nuri}")"
268 nocuri=1
269 fi
270 ;;
271 *youtube.com/*|*youtu.be/*)
272 # Youtube is so annoying and repeatedly broken;
273 # they hate users, only expand on request.
274 if [ $dospoil -eq 1 ];
275 then
276 if [ -z "${uri##*youtu.be/*}" ] \
277 || [ -z "${uri##*/watch?v=*}" ] \
278 || [ -z "${uri##*/embed/*}" ] \
279 || [ -z "${uri##*/shorts/*}" ];
280 then
281 ytid="${uri#http*://*/watch?v=}"
282 ytid="${ytid##*embed/}"
283 ytid="${ytid##*shorts/}"
284 ytid="${ytid##*youtu.be/}"
285 ytid="${ytid%%\?*}"
286 ytid="${ytid%%&*}"
287 nuri="$(get-invidious-instance)/watch?v=${ytid}"
288 ytt="$(printf '%s\n' "${uri}" | sed -n 's/.*[&?]t=\([^&]\{1,\}\).*/\1/p')"
289 [ -n "${ytt}" ] && nuri="${nuri}&t=${ytt}"
290 else
291 ytid=""
292 nuri="$(get-invidious-instance)/${uri#https*://*/}"
293 fi
294 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
295 urititle="$(curl-grabtitle "${nuri}")"
296 nuris="invidious: ${nuri}"
297 if [ -n "${ytid}" ];
298 then
299 sturi="$(subtitle-paste "${uri}")"
300 nuris="${nuris} ; metadata: gophers://codemadness.org/1/idiotbox.cgi?v=${ytid}"
301 fi
302 # If there was no title found, do not display.
303 [ -z "${urititle}" ] && titleend=1
304 nocuri=1
305 else
306 titleend=1
307 fi
308 ;;
309 *tv.brain.rip/???-???*)
310 nuris="$(grep 'property="og:video:secure_url' < "${tmpf}" | sed 's,.*content="\([^"]*\)".*,\1,')"
311 urititle="$(grep 'name="description' < "${tmpf}" | sed 's,.*content="\([^"]*\)".*,\1,')"
312 nocuri=1
313 ;;
314 *)
315 mimetype="$(file -b --mime-type "${tmpf}")"
316 case "${mimetype}" in
317 text/*|application/javascript)
318 nocuri=0
319 ;;
320 esac
321 ;;
322 esac
323
324 if [ $titleend -eq 0 ];
325 then
326 if [ $nocuri -eq 0 ];
327 then
328 [ -z "${curi}" ] && curi="$(html2text < "${tmpf}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
329 outputstr="${outputstr} content: ${curi} ;"
330 fi
331
332 [ -n "${nuris}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} ${nuris} ;"
333 [ -n "${urititle}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} title: ${urititle} ;"
334 [ -n "${suri}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} screen: ${suri} ;"
335 [ -n "${sturi}" ] && outputstr="${outputstr} subtitles: ${sturi} ;"
336 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${outputstr}"
337 uriexpansion=1
338 fi
339 rm -f "${tmpf}"
340 ;;
341 esac
342
343 runlinkbrother=0
344 for linkbrotherchannel in $linkbrotherchannels;
345 do
346 [ "$channel" = "$linkbrotherchannel" ] && runlinkbrother=1
347 done
348 if [ $runlinkbrother -eq 1 ] && [ $nospoil -eq 0 ];
349 then
350 critique=$($modbase/linkbrother/linkbrother.sh "$modbase/linkbrother/db" "$user" "$text")
351 if [ "$critique" ]; then
352 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$critique"
353 fi
354 fi
355
356 case "${text}" in
357 "${ircuser}"?)
358 exclamation="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed "s,${ircuser}\(.\),\1,g")"
359 exclamationsintime=$(exclamatio "${user}")
360 finalexclamation="${exclamation}"
361 while [ $exclamationsintime -gt 1 ];
362 do
363 finalexclamation="${finalexclamation}${exclamation}"
364 exclamationsintime=$(($exclamationsintime - 1))
365 done
366 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}${finalexclamation}"
367 ;;
368 "${ircuser}, how old are you?")
369 age="$(ddiff ${annnabirthday} today -f "%y")"
370 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I am ${age} years old."
371 ;;
372 "${ircuser}, when is your birthday?")
373 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I am born on ${annnabirthday}."
374 ;;
375 "${ircuser}, asl"*)
376 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, age: born on 1989-05-18; sex: IRC bot; location: bitreich.org; u?"
377 ;;
378 "${ircuser}, woop")
379 # Using the same database for funny hacks.
380 exclamation="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed "s;${ircuser}, \(.\);\1;g")"
381 exclamationsintime=$(exclamatio "${user}")
382 finalexclamation="${exclamation}"
383 while [ $exclamationsintime -gt 1 ];
384 do
385 finalexclamation="${finalexclamation} ${exclamation}"
386 exclamationsintime=$(($exclamationsintime - 1))
387 done
388 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${finalexclamation}"
389 ;;
390 "${ircuser}, hype")
391 # Using the same database for funny hacks.
392 exclamation="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed "s;${ircuser}, \(.\);\1;g")"
393 exclamationsintime=$(exclamatio "${user}")
394 finalexclamation="${exclamation}"
395 while [ $exclamationsintime -gt 1 ];
396 do
397 finalexclamation="${finalexclamation} ${exclamation}"
398 exclamationsintime=$(($exclamationsintime - 1))
399 done
400 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${finalexclamation}"
401 ;;
402 *">:3"*)
403 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "OMG IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!"
404 ;;
405 *"<3"*)
406 love "${user}++"
407 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "*o.o*"
408 ;;
409 *"m(")
410 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(－‸ლ)"
411 ;;
412 *"*shrug*"*)
413 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "¯\\_(ツ)_/¯"
414 ;;
415 *"*glare*"*)
416 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "ಠ_ಠ"
417 ;;
418 *"*finger*"*)
419 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "╭∩╮(ಠ_ಠ)╭∩╮"
420 ;;
421 *"*yolo*"*)
422 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Yᵒᵘ Oᶰˡʸ Lᶤᵛᵉ Oᶰᶜᵉ"
423 ;;
424 *":'(")
425 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(╯︵╰,)"
426 ;;
427 "Thanks ${ircuser}"*)
428 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, you are welcome."
429 ;;
430 *" ope sorry"*|"ope sorry"*)
431 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 😃pe sorry."
432 ;;
433 "${ircuser}, snake.")
434 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ssSSsSssSssSsssssSSsSSSSsSssSSSSsssSSSSsssSSsssSssssSssssSSssSSsSssssSSsSSssSsssSssSSSS"
435 ;;
436 "${ircuser}, snoke.")
437 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, snoke again?"
438 ;;
439 "${ircuser}, amirite?")
440 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Yep, you're the most correct of them all."
441 ;;
442 "${ircuser}, ping.")
443 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, pong."
444 ;;
445 "${ircuser}, how lame is my nick?")
446 lamenessstr="$(lameness "${user}")"
447 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${lamenessstr}"
448 ;;
449 "${ircuser}, ding.")
450 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, dong."
451 ;;
452 "${ircuser}, irly"*)
453 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I love you too."
454 ;;
455 "${ircuser}, bleep bloop.")
456 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, bloop bleep."
457 ;;
458 "${ircuser}, snare.")
459 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, not snare again!"
460 ;;
461 "${ircuser}, I am mad.")
462 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, we have a MAD SCIENTIST ONBOARD :>"
463 ;;
464 "${ircuser}, I am holy.")
465 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Holy shit this guy is totally NUTS!!!"
466 ;;
467 "${ircuser}, please compliment me.")
468 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, you rock!"
469 ;;
470 "${ircuser}, what the karma?")
471 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/irc/karma"
472 ;;
473 "${ircuser}, who is lovely?")
474 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/irc/love"
475 ;;
476 "${ircuser}, what the brcon score?")
477 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/con/$(date +%Y)/score"
478 ;;
479 "${ircuser}, what the shame?")
480 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/1/irc/shame"
481 ;;
482 "${ircuser}, please generate a password for me.")
483 newpws="$(pwgen -B1ny 20 10 | paste -sd ' ')"
484 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, as you wish: ${newpws}"
485 ;;
486 *"don't care"*)
487 dontcaresay="$(shuf -n 1 ${idontcaredb})"
488 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${dontcaresay}"
489 ;;
490 "${ircuser}, how can I phlog on bitreich?")
491 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, please read: gophers://bitreich.org/0/usr/20h/phlog/2017-08-26T20-04-02-482296.md and gophers://bitreich.org/0/usr/20h/phlog/2017-08-26T20-27-40-281825.md"
492 ;;
493 "${ircuser}, what's my type?")
494 {
495 cd /br/gopher
496 usertype="$(find memecache/type-?.png -type f \
497 | shuf -n 1 \
498 | xargs -n 1 printf "gophers://bitreich.org/9%s\n")"
499 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, your type is ${usertype}"
500 }
501 ;;
502 "${ircuser}, please show me a video about "*)
503 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 37-)"
504 case "$word" in
505 *\?)
506 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$((${#word} - 1))")"
507 ;;
508 esac
509 videoresult="$(idiotbox-roulette "${word}")"
510 if [ -n "${videoresult}" ];
511 then
512 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${videoresult}"
513 else
514 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry, nothing founds."
515 fi
516 ;;
517 "${ircuser}, what is my fortune?")
518 fortunecookie="$(fortune-cookie)"
519 if [ -n "${fortunecookie}" ];
520 then
521 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${fortunecookie}"
522 fi
523 ;;
524 "${ircuser}, what is "*)
525 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 16-)"
526 case "$word" in
527 *\?)
528 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$((${#word} - 1))")"
529 ;;
530 esac
531
532 dictserver="dict.org"
533 case "${word}" in
534 dict.org*)
535 dictserver="dict.org"
536 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c 9-)"
537 ;;
538 # parazy.de is unmaintained
539 #parazy.de*)
540 # dictserver="parazy.de"
541 # word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c 10-)"
542 # ;;
543 esac
544
545 dresult="$(dictcurl "${dictserver}" "" "${word}")"
546 if [ -z "${dresult}" ];
547 then
548 puri="No match found."
549 else
550 puri="$(printf "%s\n" "${dresult}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
551 fi
552 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${puri}"
553 ;;
554 "${ircuser}, cowsay "*)
555 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 15-)"
556 tmpf=$(mktemp)
557 if cowsayasaservice ${word} > ${tmpf}; then
558 curi="$(/br/bin/bitreich-paste < ${tmpf})"
559 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}: the cow said... ${curi}"
560 fi
561 rm ${tmpf} 2>/dev/null
562 ;;
563 "${ircuser}, please give me the unix power.")
564 upcuri="$(unix-power)"
565 if [ -n "${upcuri}" ];
566 then
567 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${upcuri}"
568 fi
569 ;;
570 "${ircuser}, please stop the last emoji prompt.")
571 lastemojipromptpid="$(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji | sort -n | tail -n 1)"
572 if [ -n "${lastemojipromptpid}" ];
573 then
574 pstree -A -p "${lastemojipromptpid}" | grep -Eow "[0-9]+" | xargs kill
575 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I HUPed ${lastemojipromptpid} and all its children for you."
576 else
577 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry, no instances found."
578 fi
579 ;;
580 "${ircuser}, play despacito plz.")
581 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/despacito.mkv"
582 ;;
583 "nice to meet you ${ircuser}"*)
584 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, the pleasure is on my side. :-)"
585 ;;
586 "${ircuser}, please give me a Chuck Norris fact.")
587 chuck=$(chucknorris)
588 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${chuck}"
589 ;;
590 "${ircuser}, magic.")
591 magictrick="$(magic)"
592 if [ -n "${magictrick}" ];
593 then
594 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${magictrick}"
595 fi
596 ;;
597 "${ircuser}, please show me ip art.")
598 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, please see #bitreich-tv for the magic."
599 {
600 cd $HOME/bin/modules/ip-art;
601 # Lock, so only one annna process manipulates eth0.
602 flock $HOME/bin/modules/ip-art -c "./display-file.sh ip-art.ipart"
603 } &
604 ;;
605 "${ircuser}, I feel button.")
606 buri="$(button-gen)"
607 if [ -n "${buri}" ];
608 then
609 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, like this? ${buri}"
610 else
611 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry, no feelings for you today."
612 fi
613 ;;
614 "${ircuser}, I feel stupid.")
615 nuri=$(darwin)
616 tmpf=$(mktemp)
617 fetch-uri "${nuri}" > "${tmpf}"
618 curi="$(9 htmlfmt < "${tmpf}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
619 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, do not feel stupid, others are more stupid: ${curi}"
620 rm ${tmpf} 2>/dev/null
621 ;;
622 "${ircuser}, I feel down.")
623 postmortem="$(post-mortem | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
624 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, do not feel bad, others had worse days: ${postmortem}"
625 ;;
626 "${ircuser}, I feel perl.")
627 perlfeelings="$(perl-feelings)"
628 if [ -n "${perl-feelings}" ];
629 then
630 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I feel ${perlfeelings}"
631 fi
632 ;;
633 "${ircuser}, will you be my girlfriend?")
634 rejection="$(girlfriend)"
635 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${rejection}"
636 ;;
637 "${ircuser}, who fights crime?"|"${ircuser}, who is fighting crime?")
638 partner=$(echo $brmembers | awk '{for (i = 1; i < NF; i++) print $i}' | grep -v "^{$user}" | shuf -n 1)
639 crimefighter="$(theyfightcrime ${user} ${partner})"
640 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${crimefighter}"
641 ;;
642 "${ircuser}, please give me a commit message.")
643 commitmsg="$(whatthecommit)"
644 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${commitmsg}"
645 ;;
646 "${ircuser}, please paint the irc channel.")
647 emojiuri="$(emoji-channel-history "${ircbase}/${server}/${channel}")"
648 if [ -n "${emojiuri}" ];
649 then
650 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${emojiuri}"
651 fi
652 ;;
653 "${ircuser}, birp.")
654 birdname="$(bird-name)"
655 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I heard a ${birdname} bird."
656 ;;
657 "${ircuser}, please oneline me.")
658 randomoneliner="$(oneliner)"
659 if [ -z "${randomoneliner}" ];
660 then
661 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, the service failed. Please redial to your BOL account."
662 else
663 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${randomoneliner}"
664 fi
665 ;;
666 *"what's app?")
667 maemoapp="$(whatsapp)"
668 if [ -n "${maemoapp}" ];
669 then
670 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Have you tried? ${maemoapp}"
671 fi
672 ;;
673 "${ircuser}, man "*|"${ircuser}, man "*)
674 exp="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 12- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
675 dresult="$(COLUMNS=80 man "${exp}" 2>/dev/null)"
676
677 if [ "$dresult" ];
678 then
679 puri="$(printf "%s" "${dresult}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
680 else
681 puri="No matches found."
682 fi
683
684 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${puri}"
685 ;;
686 "${ircuser}, please pray for me.")
687 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here, for you: gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/llaminim.mkv"
688 ;;
689 "${ircuser}, nigger."|*nigger*|*NIGGER*)
690 nword="$(n-word)"
691 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, don't use the ${nword}!"
692 ;;
693 "${ircuser}, why was I breached?")
694 breachtext="$(why-was-i-breached)"
695 if [ -n "${breachtext}" ];
696 then
697 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${breachtext}"
698 fi
699 ;;
700 "${ircuser}, please be responsible about "*)
701 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 36- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
702 suri="$(responsibility "${word}" | bitreich-paste)"
703 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
704 ;;
705 "${ircuser}, please say "*)
706 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 19- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
707 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | bitreich-speak)"
708 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
709 ;;
710 "${ircuser}, please zombie say "*)
711 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 26- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
712 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | zombie -e | bitreich-speak)"
713 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
714 ;;
715 "${ircuser}, please unzombie "*)
716 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 24- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
717 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | zombie -d)"
718 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
719 ;;
720 "${ircuser}, please zombie "*)
721 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 22- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
722 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | zombie -e)"
723 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
724 ;;
725 "${ircuser}, please ghost say "*)
726 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 25- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
727 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | ghost -e | bitreich-speak)"
728 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
729 ;;
730 "${ircuser}, please unghost "*)
731 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 23- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
732 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | ghost -d)"
733 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
734 ;;
735 "${ircuser}, please ghost "*)
736 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 21- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
737 suri="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | ghost -e)"
738 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
739 ;;
740 "${ircuser}, please pohlish "*)
741 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 23- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
742 suri="$(pohlcode.awk "${word}" | head -n 1)"
743 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
744 ;;
745 "${ircuser}, please cunei "*)
746 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 21- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
747 suri="$(int2cunei "${word}" | head -n 1)"
748 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${suri}"
749 ;;
750 "${ircuser}, what is up with gopher man?")
751 # TODO
752 ;;
753 "${ircuser}, what can I cook with "*)
754 ingredients="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 29- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
755 case "$ingredients" in
756 *\?)
757 ingredients="$(printf "%s\n" "${ingredients}" | cut -c -"$(($(expr length "${ingredients}") - 1))")"
758 ;;
759 esac
760
761 results="$(fridge-recipe-search "${ingredients}")"
762 if [ -n "${results}" ];
763 then
764 puri="$(printf "%s\n" "${results}" | bitreich-paste | sed 's,0p,1p,')"
765 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here are some recipes: ${puri}"
766 else
767 gptchefrecipe="$(gpt-chef "${ingredients}")"
768 if [ -n "${gptchefrecipe}" ];
769 then
770 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, there was no ready-made recipe, so maybe this is an idea: ${gptchefrecipe}"
771 if [ $(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji 2>/dev/null | wc -l) -lt 3 ];
772 then
773 {
774 emojiuri="$(stable-diffusion-emoji "${gptchefrecipe}")"
775 if [ -n "${emojiuri}" ];
776 then
777 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${emojiuri}"
778 fi
779 } &
780 fi
781 else
782 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I could not find any recipes for you."
783 fi
784 fi
785 ;;
786 "${ircuser}, gpt "*)
787 # TODO: use modules/prompt-agents
788 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 12- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
789 {
790 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "${prompt}. Please answer short and precise.")"
791 } &
792 ;;
793 "Preacher, "*|"preacher, "*)
794 personality="preacher"
795 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
796 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
797 {
798 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
799 } &
800 ;;
801 "Uplift, "*|"uplift, "*)
802 personality="uplifting"
803 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
804 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
805 {
806 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
807 } &
808 ;;
809 "Grumpy, "*|"grumpy, "*)
810 personality="grumpy-fart"
811 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
812 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
813 {
814 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User:${prompt}\n Bot:")"
815 } &
816 ;;
817 "Santa, "*|"Sannnta, "*|"santa, "*|"sannnta, "*)
818 personality="santa"
819 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
820 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
821 {
822 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
823 } &
824 ;;
825 "Satan, "*|"Satannn, "*|"satan, "*|"satannn, "*)
826 personality="satan"
827 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
828 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
829 {
830 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
831 } &
832 ;;
833 "Trump, "*|"trump, "*)
834 personality="trump"
835 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
836 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
837 {
838 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
839 } &
840 ;;
841 "Freud, "*|"freud, "*|"Sigmund, "*|"sigmund, "*)
842 personality="sigmund-freud"
843 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
844 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
845 {
846 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User:${prompt}\n Bot:")"
847 } &
848 ;;
849 "Mao, "*|"mao, "*)
850 personality="mao"
851 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
852 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
853 {
854 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User:${prompt}\n Bot:")"
855 } &
856 ;;
857 "Teleromeo, "*|"teleromeo, "*)
858 personality="teleromeo"
859 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
860 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
861 {
862 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User:${prompt}\n Bot:")"
863 } &
864 ;;
865 "Modem, "*|"modem, "*)
866 personality="modem"
867 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
868 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
869 {
870 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
871 } &
872 ;;
873 "Sadh_Guru, "*|"Sadh_guru, "*|"sadh_guru, "*|"sadh_Guru, "*)
874 personality="sadh_guru"
875 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
876 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
877 {
878 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
879 } &
880 ;;
881 "Prophet, "*|"prophet, "*)
882 personality="prophet"
883 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
884 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
885 {
886 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
887 } &
888 ;;
889 "Luther, "*|"luther, "*)
890 personality="luther"
891 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
892 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
893 {
894 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
895 } &
896 ;;
897 "${ircuser}, wolfram is "*)
898 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 19- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
899 case "$word" in
900 *\?)
901 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$(($(expr length "${word}") - 1))")"
902 ;;
903 esac
904
905 puri=""
906 dresult="$(printf "/wolfram\t%s\r\n" "${word}" \
907 | nc magical.fish 70 \
908 | awk '/iAnswer:/,/iAsk/' \
909 | grep -v '^i ' \
910 | head -n -1 \
911 | tail -n +2 \
912 | sed 's,i\(.*\)fake\texample.com.*,\1,;s,[ \t]*$,,')"
913
914 if [ -n "$dresult" ];
915 then
916 case "${dresult}" in
917 b*)
918 dresult="$(printf "%s\n" "${dresult}" \
919 | tr '\n' ' ' \
920 | sed "s,^b',,;s,' $,," \
921 | sed 's,^b",,;s," $,,' \
922 | sed 's,\\n,\n,g;s,\\t,\t,g')"
923 ;;
924 *)
925 dresult="$(printf "%s\n" "${dresult}" \
926 | sed 's,\([a-zA-Z]\)$,\1 ,' \
927 | tr -d '\n')"
928 ;;
929 esac
930
931 wcl="$(printf "%s" "${dresult}" | wc -l)"
932
933 if [ $wcl -gt 1 ];
934 then
935 puri="$(printf "%s" "${dresult}" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
936 else
937 puri="${dresult}"
938 fi
939 else
940 puri="No matches found."
941 fi
942 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${puri}"
943 ;;
944 "${ircuser}, pray"*)
945 # Emulate https://threats.kaspersky.com/en/threat/IRC-Worm.DOS.Septic/
946 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I Obey my master! long live satan"
947 ;;
948 "${ircuser}, sacrifice"*)
949 # Emulate https://threats.kaspersky.com/en/threat/IRC-Worm.DOS.Septic/
950 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Your word is my command, Power to satan!"
951 ;;
952 "${ircuser}, please scare me.")
953 {
954 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(halloween)"
955 } &
956 ;;
957 "${ircuser}, how drunk is "*)
958 {
959 drunknick="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
960 | sed 's,.*how drunk is \(.*\),\1,' \
961 | tr -d '?')"
962 drunkness="$(drunk-meter "${ircbase}/${server}/${channel}/out" "${drunknick}")"
963 if [ -n "${drunkness}" ];
964 then
965 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${drunknick} is ${drunkness} drunk."
966 fi
967 } &
968 ;;
969 "${ircuser}, how do I "*)
970 {
971 gptprompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
972 | sed 's,.*how do I \(.*\),\1,' \
973 | tr -d '?')"
974 gpturi="$(gpt "how do I ${gptprompt}" | bitreich-paste)"
975 if [ -n "${gpturi}" ];
976 then
977 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, try this: ${gpturi}"
978 fi
979 } &
980 ;;
981 "${ircuser}, weather at "*|"${ircuser}, weather in "*)
982 {
983 weatherplace="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
984 | sed 's,.*weather .. \(.*\),\1,' \
985 | tr -d '?')"
986 if weathertext="$(weather "${weatherplace}")"
987 then
988 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, the weather at ${weatherplace} is ${weathertext}"
989 else
990 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, there is no weather at ${weatherplace}."
991 fi
992 } &
993 ;;
994 "${ircuser}, funny weather at "*|"${ircuser}, funny weather in "*)
995 {
996 weatherplace="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
997 | sed 's,.*funny weather .. \(.*\),\1,' \
998 | tr -d '?')"
999 personality="funny-weather-reporter"
1000 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
1001 if weathertext="$(weather "${weatherplace}")"
1002 then
1003 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${weathertext}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
1004 {
1005 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, $(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
1006 } &
1007 else
1008 weathertext="there is no weather at ${weatherplace}"
1009 prompt="${weathertext}"
1010 {
1011 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, $(gpt "System: ${preprompt}\n User: ${prompt}\n Bot:")"
1012 } &
1013 fi
1014 } &
1015 ;;
1016 "${ircuser}, color weather at "*|"${ircuser}, color weather in "*)
1017 {
1018 weatherplace="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
1019 | sed 's,.*color weather .. \(.*\),\1,' \
1020 | tr -d '?')"
1021 personality="color-weather-reporter"
1022 preprompt="$(cat ${modbase}/prompt-agents/${personality}.prompt.txt)"
1023 if weathertext="$(weather "${weatherplace}")"
1024 then
1025 prompt="$(printf "%s\n" "${weathertext}" | cut -d' ' -f 2- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
1026 {
1027 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, $(gpt "System:${preprompt}\nUser:${prompt}\nBot:")"
1028 } &
1029 else
1030 weathertext="there is no weather at ${weatherplace}"
1031 prompt="${weathertext}"
1032 {
1033 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, $(gpt "System:${preprompt}\nUser:${prompt}\nBot:")"
1034 } &
1035 fi
1036 } &
1037 ;;
1038 "${ircuser}, METAR for "*|"${ircuser}, metar for "*|"${ircuser}, metar for "*|"${ircuser}, METAR for "*)
1039 resp=$(metar "$(printf '%.4s\n' "${text##* }")")
1040 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${resp}"
1041 ;;
1042 "${ircuser}, how discriminating is "*)
1043 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 30- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
1044 case "$word" in
1045 *\?)
1046 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${word}" | cut -c -"$(($(expr length "${word}") - 1))")"
1047 ;;
1048 esac
1049
1050 newword="$(discrimination-filter "${word}")"
1051 if [ "${newword}" = "${word}" ];
1052 then
1053 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, it is ok."
1054 else
1055 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, it should be: ${newword}"
1056 fi
1057
1058 ;;
1059 "${ircuser}, are "*)
1060 case "${text}" in
1061 *" in love?")
1062 words="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.*are \(.*\) and \(.*\) in love?,\1 \2,')"
1063 lovedistance="$(printf "%s * 100\n" "$(fstrcmp ${words})" | bc | cut -d'.' -f 1)"
1064 if [ $lovedistance -gt 15 ];
1065 then
1066 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" 'Yes!!! Pure <3 <3'
1067 else
1068 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "No."
1069 fi
1070 ;;
1071 esac
1072 ;;
1073 "${ircuser}, is "*)
1074 aitext="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 7- | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
1075 airesult="$(printf "%s\n" "${aitext}" | josuah-ai)"
1076 if [ -n "${airesult}" ];
1077 then
1078 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user},${airesult}"
1079 fi
1080 ;;
1081 "Ok, ${ircuser}"*)
1082 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I am not a consumer device."
1083 ;;
1084 "ok, ${ircuser}"*)
1085 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I am not a consumer device."
1086 ;;
1087 "${ircuser}, please shoot "*|"${ircuser}, plese shoot "*)
1088 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 21-)"
1089 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${word}, #pewpew gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/pewpew.mp4"
1090 ;;
1091 "${ircuser}, please quinq.")
1092 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "┻━┻ ︵╰(°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻"
1093 ;;
1094 "${ircuser}, please flip "*)
1095 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 20-)"
1096 updownword="$(updown "${word}")"
1097 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(╯°□°)╯ ${word} ︵ ${updownword}"
1098 ;;
1099 "${ircuser}, please crystal math "*)
1100 math="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 28-)"
1101 crystaluri="$(crystal-math "${math}")"
1102 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, please see ${crystaluri}"
1103 ;;
1104 "${ircuser}, please australize "*)
1105 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 26-)"
1106 updownword="$(updown "${word}")"
1107 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${word} -> ${updownword}"
1108 ;;
1109 "${ircuser}, wtf "*)
1110 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 11-)"
1111 wtfword="$(wtf "${word}" 2>/dev/null)"
1112 if [ -n "${wtfword}" ];
1113 then
1114 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${wtfword}"
1115 fi
1116 ;;
1117 "${ircuser}, please give me a good band name.")
1118 bandname="$(bandname-gen | shuf | head -n 1)"
1119 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${bandname}"
1120 ;;
1121 "${ircuser}, I feel conspicuous.")
1122 manifestouri="$(manifesto-gen | bitreich-paste)"
1123 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Maybe declare this: ${manifestouri}"
1124 ;;
1125 "${ircuser}, I am horny.")
1126 essaypaste="$(bithub-gen)"
1127 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" \
1128 "Here is some intellectual porn for you: ${essaypaste}"
1129 ;;
1130 "${ircuser}, please turn on "*)
1131 word="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 22-)"
1132 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "☞ ⏻ ${word}"
1133 ;;
1134 "${ircuser}, please turn me on.")
1135 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "☞ ⏻ ${user}"
1136 ;;
1137 "${ircuser}, I'm game bored.")
1138 gamelink="$(abandonware-random-game)"
1139 if [ -z "${gamelink}" ];
1140 then
1141 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, sorry I have found nothing for you."
1142 else
1143 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, have you tried ${gamelink} ?"
1144 fi
1145 ;;
1146 "${ircuser}, I need a waifu.")
1147 waifuuris="$(waifu-gen)"
1148 if [ -n "${waifuuris}" ];
1149 then
1150 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${waifuuris}"
1151 fi
1152 ;;
1153 "${ircuser}, I need an anime.")
1154 animeuri="$(anime-gen)"
1155 if [ -n "${animeuri}" ];
1156 then
1157 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${animeuri}"
1158 fi
1159 ;;
1160 "${ircuser}, I'm gopher bored.")
1161 randomlink="$(/br/bin/bitreich-lawn-random-link)"
1162 linktype="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f1 | cut -c2-)"
1163 linktext="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f2)"
1164 linksel="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f3)"
1165 linkserver="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f4)"
1166 linkport="$(printf "%s\n" "${randomlink}" | cut -d '|' -f5 | cut -d']' -f1)"
1167 outtext="$(printf "%s - gopher://%s" "$linktext" "$linkserver")"
1168 if [ "$linkport" != "70" ] && [ "$linkport" != "port" ];
1169 then
1170 outtext="$(printf "%s:%s" "$outtext" "$linkport")"
1171 fi
1172 if [ -n "$linksel" ];
1173 then
1174 outtext="$(printf "%s/%s%s" "$outtext" "$linktype" "$linksel")"
1175 fi
1176 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$outtext"
1177 ;;
1178 "${ircuser}, wb.")
1179 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ty! I am so happy to be here. :)"
1180 ;;
1181 "${ircuser}, I love you!")
1182 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" $'\001ACTION blushes\001'
1183 ;;
1184 "${ircuser}, bon"*)
1185 insult="$(bonjour)"
1186 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${insult} !"
1187 ;;
1188 "${ircuser}, salut"*)
1189 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Salutations camarade !"
1190 ;;
1191 "${ircuser}, welcome back.")
1192 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, thank you! I am so happy to be here. :)"
1193 ;;
1194 "${ircuser}, what's up?")
1195 newsstr="$(ecl -shell /home/solene/gopher/bin/generator.lisp)"
1196 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$newsstr"
1197 ;;
1198 "${ircuser}, what's down?")
1199 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, we all love you."
1200 ;;
1201 *"ACTION cancels "*)
1202 mobtarget="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.*ACTION cancels \(.*\)\x01,\1,')"
1203 cancel-target "${mobtarget}"
1204 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I cancelled ${mobtarget} for you. ( gophers://bitreich.org/I/memecache/cancel-meteor.jpg )"
1205 ;;
1206 "${ircuser}, please show me the mob"*|"${ircuser}, what are the mob"*)
1207 canceluri="$(get-cancel-list)"
1208 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${canceluri}"
1209 ;;
1210 "${ircuser}, I feel sick.")
1211 newsstr="$(cd /br/gopher/hypochondria && ./hypochondria -s random)"
1212 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "You could have ${newsstr}! Be careful!"
1213 ;;
1214 *"oh hai"*|*"ohai"*|*"ohhai"*)
1215 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, hai! How is your sex life?"
1216 ;;
1217 "o/"|"o/ "*|"\o"|"\o "*|"o7"|"o7 "*)
1218 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${text}"
1219 ;;
1220 "\m/"|"\m/ "*)
1221 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ"
1222 ;;
1223 *"*waves*"*|*"*wave*"*)
1224 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *wave*"
1225 ;;
1226 "twtcs"*|"TWTCS"*)
1227 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, maybe: https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/"
1228 ;;
1229 "twss"*|"TWSS"*)
1230 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, no, I didn't."
1231 ;;
1232 *"cows are nice"*)
1233 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 'Cows are nice, unless you are a blade of grass.' -- Mr. Qi Ng (2023)"
1234 ;;
1235 "${ircuser}, please make me a coffee.")
1236 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ☕"
1237 ;;
1238 "${ircuser}, please tech hype me.")
1239 techstr="$(tech-hype)"
1240 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${techstr}"
1241 ;;
1242 "${ircuser}, please french hype me.")
1243 frenchstr="$(french-hype)"
1244 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${frenchstr}"
1245 ;;
1246 "${ircuser}, please coffee read "*)
1247 readtarget="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -c 27-)"
1248 horostr="$($HOME/scm/bullshit/horoscope)"
1249 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${readtarget}, ${horostr}"
1250 ;;
1251 "${ircuser}, what's my horoscope?")
1252 horostr="$($HOME/scm/bullshit/horoscope)"
1253 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${horostr}"
1254 ;;
1255 "${ircuser}, what should I cook"*)
1256 recipestr="$(based.recipe)"
1257 if [ -n "${recipestr}" ];
1258 then
1259 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${recipestr}"
1260 else
1261 gptchefrecipe="$(gpt-chef "something random")"
1262 if [ -n "${gptchefrecipe}" ];
1263 then
1264 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${gptchefrecipe}"
1265 if [ $(pgrep -f stable-diffusion-emoji 2>/dev/null | wc -l) -lt 3 ];
1266 then
1267 {
1268 emojiuri="$(stable-diffusion-emoji "${gptchefrecipe}")"
1269 if [ -n "${emojiuri}" ];
1270 then
1271 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${emojiuri}"
1272 fi
1273 } &
1274 fi
1275 else
1276 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I have no recommendation for you today."
1277 fi
1278 fi
1279 ;;
1280 # parazyd.org is unmaintained
1281 #"${ircuser}, what's my future?")
1282 # puri="$(sacc gopher://parazyd.org/0/tarot.cgi | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
1283 # annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, your future is here: ${puri}"
1284 # ;;
1285 "${ircuser}, haha.")
1286 {
1287 # Can take long, so run in background.
1288 wuri="$(github-haha)"
1289 if [ -n "${wuri}" ];
1290 then
1291 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, haha ${wuri}"
1292 fi
1293 } &
1294 ;;
1295 "${ircuser}, meow"*)
1296 # https://catgps.wvd.io support
1297 nmeows=$(($RANDOM % 14))
1298 meows="Meow"
1299 for i in $(seq $nmeows);
1300 do
1301 meows="$meows meow"
1302 done
1303 if [ $nmeows -lt 4 ];
1304 then
1305 meows="$meows!"
1306 else
1307 meows="$meows."
1308 fi
1309 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${meows}"
1310 ;;
1311 "${ircuser}, how many memes do you know?")
1312 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "I know $(hashtagcount) memes: gophers://bitreich.org/1/meme/count"
1313 ;;
1314 "${ircuser}, how many people died of corona?")
1315 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, too many. :( Please see yourself: gopher://magical.fish/1/covid"
1316 ;;
1317 "${ircuser}, please show me your memes.")
1318 puri="$(printf "%s" "$(hashtags)" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
1319 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here are my memes: ${puri}"
1320 ;;
1321 "${ircuser}, please show me the victims.")
1322 puri="$(printf "%s" "$(hashtags)" | grep victim | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
1323 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here are the victims: ${puri}"
1324 ;;
1325 "${ircuser}, please distro-hop with me.")
1326 ndistro="$(curl -s 'https://distrowatch.com/dwres.php?resource=popularity' \
1327 | grep phr2 \
1328 | sed 's,.*href="\(.*\)".*,\1,' \
1329 | sort | uniq | shuf -n 1)"
1330 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "How about https://distrowatch.com/${ndistro} ?"
1331 ;;
1332 "${ircuser}, please show me your Macron.")
1333 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "gophers://bitreich.org/0/ascii/macron.vt"
1334 ;;
1335 "${ircuser}, release the Kraken!")
1336 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here it is! gophers://bitreich.org/0/memecache/kraken.vt"
1337 ;;
1338 "${ircuser}, where is your source?")
1339 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here is my precious source: git://bitreich.org/annna "
1340 ;;
1341 "${ircuser}, release the Quacken!")
1342 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Quack Quack! gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/release-the-quacken.mkv"
1343 ;;
1344 "${ircuser}, be cool.")
1345 case "$(($RANDOM % 5))" in
1346 0)
1347 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(⌐■_■)"
1348 ;;
1349 1)
1350 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(▰˘◡˘▰)"
1351 ;;
1352 2)
1353 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(▀ Ĺ▀ )̄"
1354 ;;
1355 3)
1356 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "(▀Ĺ▀ )"
1357 ;;
1358 *)
1359 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "I can't be cool! gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/i-cant-be-cool.mp3"
1360 ;;
1361 esac
1362 ;;
1363 "${ircuser}, please cheer.")
1364 case "$(($RANDOM % 2))" in
1365 0)
1366 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" '~\o/~'
1367 ;;
1368 *)
1369 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" '✺◟( ° ʖ °)◞✺'
1370 ;;
1371 esac
1372 ;;
1373 "${ircuser}, please give me a fish.")
1374 case "$(($RANDOM % 2))" in
1375 0)
1376 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" '<><'
1377 ;;
1378 *)
1379 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" '><>'
1380 ;;
1381 esac
1382 ;;
1383 "${ircuser}, run.")
1384 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" 'ᕕ(ಠ_ಠ)ᕗ'
1385 ;;
1386 "${ircuser}, be cute.")
1387 case "$(($RANDOM % 4))" in
1388 0)
1389 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (\ /)'
1390 sleep 0.1
1391 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (. .)'
1392 sleep 0.1
1393 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' C(") (")'
1394 ;;
1395 1)
1396 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (\-/)'
1397 sleep 0.1
1398 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" " (='.'=)"
1399 sleep 0.1
1400 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (")-(")o'
1401 ;;
1402 2)
1403 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' ( ) ( )'
1404 sleep 0.1
1405 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (>•.•<)'
1406 sleep 0.1
1407 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (") (")'
1408 ;;
1409 *)
1410 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (\ (\'
1411 sleep 0.1
1412 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" " (=' :')"
1413 sleep 0.1
1414 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" ' (, (") (")'
1415 ;;
1416 esac
1417 ;;
1418 "${ircuser}, 8ball "*)
1419 eightballanswer="$(8ball)"
1420 if [ -n "${eightballanswer}" ];
1421 then
1422 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${eightballanswer}"
1423 fi
1424 ;;
1425 "${ircuser}, email "*)
1426 findsyou="$(shuf -n 1 "${modbase}/finds-you/finds_you.txt")"
1427 if [ -n "${findsyou}" ];
1428 then
1429 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I hope this email ${findsyou}"
1430 fi
1431 ;;
1432 "${ircuser}, please throw a coin for me.")
1433 case "$((($RANDOM % 2) + 1))" in
1434 1)
1435 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "face"
1436 ;;
1437 2)
1438 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "number"
1439 ;;
1440 esac
1441 ;;
1442 "${ircuser}, please quantum roll d2 for me.")
1443 qroll="$(($(/home/20h/scm/quantum-rng/quantum-rng) + 1))"
1444 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${qroll} [1d2(scores:[${qroll}])]"
1445 ;;
1446 "${ircuser}, please roll "*" for me.")
1447 q="${text#* roll }"
1448 q="${q%for*}"
1449
1450 # https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dice_notation
1451 # six-sided dice one time
1452 [ -z "${q}" ] && q="d6"
1453 [ "${q}" = "a die " ] && q="d6"
1454 [ "${q}" = "dice " ] && q="d6"
1455
1456 dicescore="$(dice "${q}")"
1457 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${dicescore}"
1458 ;;
1459 "${ircuser}, please tell me your favourite flower.")
1460 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "My favourite flower is the beer flower."
1461 ;;
1462 "${ircuser}, please tell me your favourite color.")
1463 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "My favourite color is yellow."
1464 ;;
1465 "${ircuser}, please clap for me.")
1466 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *clap* *clap* *clap*"
1467 ;;
1468 "${ircuser}, which city does not exist?")
1469 cityuri="$(this-city-does-not-exist)"
1470 if [ -n "${cityuri}" ];
1471 then
1472 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, this one: ${cityuri}"
1473 else
1474 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, none."
1475 fi
1476 ;;
1477 "For humanity!")
1478 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, for humanity! gophers://bitreich.org/0/memecache/annna-rchism.txt"
1479 ;;
1480 "Hack the planet!")
1481 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, hack the planet!"
1482 ;;
1483 "Long live gopher!")
1484 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, long live gopher!"
1485 ;;
1486 ":)"|":))"|":)))"|":-)"|":-))"|":-)))"|":--)"|":--))"|":--)))"|":---)"|":----)"|"llol"|"lllol")
1487 smileface="$(smile)"
1488 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${smileface}"
1489 ;;
1490 "${ircuser}, please dance."|"\\o/"|"\^o^/")
1491 dancemoves="$(dance-moves-gen)"
1492 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${dancemoves}"
1493 ;;
1494 "${ircuser}, let us celebrate!"|"/o/"|"\o\\")
1495 dancemoves="$(dance-moves-gen -m)"
1496 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${dancemoves}"
1497 ;;
1498 "${ircuser}, please egyptian dance."|"${ircuser}, let us egyptian celebrate!"|"~o~"|"|o|")
1499 dancemoves="$(dance-moves-gen -e)"
1500 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${dancemoves}"
1501 ;;
1502 "${ircuser}, please stamp this letter for me.")
1503 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "${user}, here: 🖃 "
1504 ;;
1505 "${ircuser}, please do the graveyard smash.")
1506 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "( つ ･ᴗ･)つ"
1507 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "ς ( ･ᴗ･ ς )"
1508 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" -- "It did the mash\\ It did the ~~MONSTER MASH~~\\ It was a smash\\ It was a ~~GRAVEYARD SMASH~~"
1509 ;;
1510 "${ircuser}, boo."|"${ircuser}, boo!")
1511 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 👻"
1512 ;;
1513 "${ircuser}, W3C."|"${ircuser}, w3c.")
1514 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 🕸️ 🕷️ 🕸️"
1515 ;;
1516 "${ircuser}, pumpkin.")
1517 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, 🎃"
1518 ;;
1519 "${ircuser}, trick or treat"*|"${ircuser}, treat or trick"*)
1520 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Wait for it. Old annnama is searching ..."
1521 {
1522 sleeptime="$(( $RANDOM % 120 + 10 ))"
1523 if [ $sleeptime -gt 60 ];
1524 then
1525 sleep "$(( $RANDOM % 30 + 20 ))"
1526 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *swish* *swish* old annnama is still searching."
1527 sleeptime="$(( $RANDOM % 60 + 10 ))"
1528 fi
1529 sleep $sleeptime
1530
1531 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, $(trick-or-treat)"
1532 } &
1533 ;;
1534 "${ircuser}, please dance with me.")
1535 if [ $(($RANDOM % 2)) -gt 0 ];
1536 then
1537 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "I am not that kind of woman."
1538 else
1539 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Thank you! Let us dance! :-D"
1540 fi
1541 ;;
1542 "${ircuser}, please tell me who is your favourite pleasure man.")
1543 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "My favourite pleasure man is of course Gunther!"
1544 ;;
1545 "${ircuser}, make me a sandwich"*)
1546 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "No."
1547 ;;
1548 "${ircuser}, sudo make me a sandwich"*)
1549 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Humans are no objects."
1550 ;;
1551 "${ircuser}, please make me a sandwich"*)
1552 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Maybe."
1553 ;;
1554 "${ircuser}, sudo please make me a sandwich"*)
1555 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Here is your sandwich."
1556 ;;
1557 "${ircuser}, I feel unsure about my health.")
1558 healthadvice="$(health-advice)"
1559 if [ -n "${healthadvice}" ];
1560 then
1561 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${healthadvice}"
1562 fi
1563 ;;
1564 "${ircuser}, bonjour !")
1565 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, bonjour !"
1566 ;;
1567 *" pets ${ircuser}"*)
1568 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *brrrrr*"
1569 ;;
1570 "${ircuser}, please give me a penis extension.")
1571 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here: $(penis-extension)"
1572 ;;
1573 "${ircuser}, please bobbitize me.")
1574 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here: $(bobbitize)"
1575 ;;
1576 "${ircuser}, please give me a baguette extension.")
1577 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here: $(baguette-extension)"
1578 ;;
1579 "${ircuser}, please give me an allah extension.")
1580 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, here: $(allah-extension)"
1581 ;;
1582 "${ircuser}, please pull my finger.")
1583 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, you are disgusting."
1584 ;;
1585 "${ircuser}, what's up in Japan?")
1586 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, see for yourself: https://nhk3.mov3.co/hls/nhk.m3u8"
1587 ;;
1588 "${ircuser}, please mqtt"*)
1589 mqtturi="$(printf '%s\n' "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 3)"
1590 case "${mqtturi}" in
1591 mqtt:*)
1592 #mqtt:// full URI specified
1593 ;;
1594 *)
1595 #mqtt/sensor specified
1596 mqtturi="mqtts://bitreich:oogui3queex&o9zaekah@bitreich.org/${mqtturi#mqtt}"
1597 ;;
1598 esac
1599 msg="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f 4-)"
1600 printf "${msg}\n" | mosquitto_pub -L "${mqtturi}" -l
1601 ;;
1602 *"zuckerberg"*|*"Zuckerberg"*)
1603 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, did you mean gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/mark-suckerberg.mp4 ?"
1604 ;;
1605 "${ircuser}, please pick one of: "*)
1606 pick="$(printf '%s\n' "${text}" \
1607 | sed 's/.*please pick one of: //' \
1608 | tr ',' '\n' \
1609 | tr -d ' ' \
1610 | sort -R \
1611 | head -n 1)"
1612 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I think ${pick} is the best option."
1613 ;;
1614 "${ircuser}, please play some Bach"*)
1615 midifile="$(find . /home/annna/bin/modules/midi-media/bach -name '*.mid' \
1616 | sort -R \
1617 | head -n 1)"
1618 outfile="/br/gopher/midi/${midifile##*/}.ogg"
1619 if midi-play "$midifile" >"$outfile"; then
1620 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/9/midi/${outfile##*/}"
1621 fi
1622 ;;
1623 "${ircuser}, please antidepressant #"*|\
1624 "${ircuser}, please amplify #"*|\
1625 "${ircuser}, please amsterdamify #"*|\
1626 "${ircuser}, please banjo #"*|\
1627 "${ircuser}, please bounce #"*|\
1628 "${ircuser}, please breakingnews #"*|\
1629 "${ircuser}, please celtify #"*|\
1630 "${ircuser}, please concatenate #"*|\
1631 "${ircuser}, please crimetv #"*|\
1632 "${ircuser}, please curb #"*|\
1633 "${ircuser}, please daybowbow #"*|\
1634 "${ircuser}, please deathmetal #"*|\
1635 "${ircuser}, please developers #"*|\
1636 "${ircuser}, please dontdoit #"*|\
1637 "${ircuser}, please dontsaytoyourmother #"*|\
1638 "${ircuser}, please doomify #"*|\
1639 "${ircuser}, please dutchapprove #"*|\
1640 "${ircuser}, please french #"*|\
1641 "${ircuser}, please FRENCH #"*|\
1642 "${ircuser}, please imam #"*|\
1643 "${ircuser}, please lop #"*|\
1644 "${ircuser}, please loop #"*|\
1645 "${ircuser}, please looop #"*|\
1646 "${ircuser}, please loooop #"*|\
1647 "${ircuser}, please mow #"*|\
1648 "${ircuser}, please namflashback #"*|\
1649 "${ircuser}, please news #"*|\
1650 "${ircuser}, please pullmyfinger #"*|\
1651 "${ircuser}, please putin #"*|\
1652 "${ircuser}, please reverse #"*|\
1653 "${ircuser}, please richardstrauss #"*|\
1654 "${ircuser}, please ritual #"*|\
1655 "${ircuser}, please sadviolin #"*|\
1656 "${ircuser}, please science #"*|\
1657 "${ircuser}, please scrollify #"*|\
1658 "${ircuser}, please sendtohell #"*|\
1659 "${ircuser}, please sexify #"*|\
1660 "${ircuser}, please slavify #"*|\
1661 "${ircuser}, please slowdown #"*|\
1662 "${ircuser}, please smith #"*|\
1663 "${ircuser}, please speedup #"*|\
1664 "${ircuser}, please techno #"*|\
1665 "${ircuser}, please technodrugs #"*|\
1666 "${ircuser}, please thin #"*|\
1667 "${ircuser}, please torture #"*|\
1668 "${ircuser}, please tshirt #"*|\
1669 "${ircuser}, please trumpapprove #"*|\
1670 "${ircuser}, please USAUSA #"*|\
1671 "${ircuser}, please USA #"*|\
1672 "${ircuser}, please usa #"*|\
1673 "${ircuser}, please wat #"*|\
1674 "${ircuser}, please widen #"*|\
1675 "${ircuser}, please ww1 #"*|\
1676 "${ircuser}, please yellow #"*|\
1677 "${ircuser}, please zucc #"*|\
1678 "${ircuser}, please random #"*)
1679 hashtag="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's/.*#//; s/ .*//' )"
1680 recipient="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's/.* for //' )"
1681 origext="$(grep -E "^#${hashtag} " "${hashtagfile}" | sed 's/.*\.//')"
1682 {
1683 filter="$(printf '%s\n' "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f3)"
1684 if [ "${filter}" = "random" ];
1685 then
1686 filters=("antidepressant" "amplify" "amsterdamify"
1687 "banjo" "bounce" "breakingnews"
1688 "celtify" "concatenate" "crimetv"
1689 "curb" "daybowbow" "deathmetal"
1690 "developers" "dontdoit" "dontsaytoyourmother"
1691 "doomify" "dutchapprove" "french"
1692 "FRENCH" "imam" "lop" "loop" "looop" "loooop"
1693 "mow" "namflashback" "news"
1694 "pullmyfinger" "putin" "reverse"
1695 "richardstrauss" "ritual" "sadviolin"
1696 "science" "scrollify" "sendtohell"
1697 "sexify" "slavify" "slowdown"
1698 "smith" "speedup" "techno"
1699 "technodrugs" "thin" "torture"
1700 "tshirt" "trumpapprove" "USAUSA"
1701 "usa" "wat" "widen" "ww1"
1702 "yellow" "zucc")
1703 filter="${filters[ $RANDOM % ${#filters[@]} ]}"
1704 fi
1705 outfile="${filter}-${hashtag}.mkv"
1706 outpath="/br/gopher/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1707 inpath="/br/gopher/memecache/${hashtag}.${origext}"
1708
1709 [ ! -f "${inpath}" ] && exit 0
1710
1711 # outfile and outpath filtering for the cache.
1712 case "${filter}" in
1713 antidepressant|ritual|putin|tshirt)
1714 outfile="${outfile%.*}.jpg"
1715 outpath="${outpath%.*}.jpg"
1716 ;;
1717 wat|smith|zucc)
1718 mimetype="$(file --mime-type "$inpath" | cut -d':' -f 2 | cut -c 2-)"
1719 # Only allow images to be free.
1720 case "$mimetype" in
1721 image/webp)
1722 # deface does not like webp. Make it png.
1723 newinpath="$(mktemp -u -p /tmp "${infile%.*}XXXXX.png")"
1724 magick convert "${inpath}" "${newinpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1725 inpath="${newinpath}"
1726
1727 outfile="${outfile%.*}.png"
1728 outpath="${outpath%.*}.png"
1729 ;;
1730 image/*)
1731 outfile="${outfile%.*}.${origext}"
1732 outpath="${outpath%.*}.${origext}"
1733 ;;
1734 esac
1735 esac
1736
1737 if [ "${recipient}" != "${text}" ];
1738 then
1739 user="${recipient}"
1740 fi
1741
1742 # Cleanup if outpath file is empty.
1743 [ -f "${outpath}" ] && [ ! -s "${outpath}" ] && rm "${outpath}"
1744
1745 # determine gopher type for output file
1746 outmimetype="$(file -ib "${outpath}")"
1747 case "$outmimetype" in
1748 image/*)
1749 outtype="I";;
1750 *)
1751 outtype="9";;
1752 esac
1753
1754 if [ -s "${outpath}" ];
1755 then
1756 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/${outtype}/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1757 exit 0
1758 fi
1759
1760 case "${filter}" in
1761 antidepressant)
1762 antidepressant "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1763 ;;
1764 ritual)
1765 satanic-ritual "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1766 ;;
1767 putin)
1768 putin-os "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1769 ;;
1770 tshirt)
1771 tshirt-design "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1772 ;;
1773 *)
1774 ffmpeg-effect "${filter}" "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1
1775 ;;
1776 esac
1777
1778 # Remove temporary png for deface.
1779 case "${inpath}" in
1780 /tmp/*.png)
1781 [ -e "${inpath}" ] && rm "${inpath}"
1782 ;;
1783 esac
1784
1785 if [ -s "${outpath}" ];
1786 then
1787 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/${outtype}/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1788 fi
1789 } &
1790 exit 0
1791 ;;
1792 "${ircuser}, please 3d "*)
1793 args=$(echo ${text} | cut -d' ' -f 4-)
1794 outfile=$(blender-effect $args)
1795 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/I/memecache/3d/${outfile}"
1796 ;;
1797 "${ircuser}, droggelbecher"*)
1798 # https://ednaundharvey.fandom.com/de/wiki/Droggelbecher
1799 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, Droggelbecher!"
1800 ;;
1801 "${ircuser}, thanks"*|"${ircuser}, thx"*)
1802 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, you're welcome."
1803 ;;
1804 "${ircuser}, please simulate "*" simulator"*)
1805 q="${text#* please simulate }"
1806 q="${q% simulator*}"
1807 outpath="/br/gopher/p/"
1808 {
1809 if outfile="$(simulate-simulator "$q")"
1810 then
1811 mv "${outfile}" "${outpath}/"
1812 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, gophers://bitreich.org/I/p/${outfile}"
1813 fi
1814 } &
1815 ;;
1816 "${ircuser}, can "*" certify itself?")
1817 q="${text#* can }"
1818 q="${q% certify*}"
1819 {
1820 # host:port is needed for tlsgrab
1821 curi="$(tlsgrab "${q}")"
1822 if [ -n "${curi}" ];
1823 then
1824 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, let us see the certificate: ${curi}"
1825 fi
1826 } &
1827 ;;
1828 "${ircuser}, please mine "*" bitreichcoin"*)
1829 q="${text#* please mine }"
1830 q="${q% bitreichcoin*}"
1831 curi="$(bitreichcoin "$q" | /br/bin/bitreich-paste)"
1832 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, please don't spend it all at once: ${curi}"
1833 ;;
1834 "${ircuser}, please hug me.")
1835 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION hugs ${user}$(echo -e '\001')"
1836 ;;
1837 "${ircuser}, please hug "*" for me.")
1838 huggee="${text#* please hug }"
1839 huggee="${huggee% for me*}"
1840 if [ -n "${huggee}" ];
1841 then
1842 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION hugs ${huggee}$(echo -e '\001')"
1843 fi
1844 ;;
1845 "${ircuser}, how many fucks were given?")
1846 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, current fucks given: 0.0"
1847 ;;
1848 "${ircuser}, please slam the door.")
1849 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, *BANG*"
1850 ;;
1851 "${ircuser}, what is my credit score?")
1852 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, your credit score is 0."
1853 ;;
1854 "${ircuser}, please give me a cookie.")
1855 cookie="$(cookie)"
1856 if [ -n "${cookie}" ];
1857 then
1858 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(echo -e '\001')ACTION gives ${user} a ${cookie} cookie$(echo -e '\001')"
1859 fi
1860 ;;
1861 "${ircuser}, please help.")
1862 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${user}" "See git://bitreich.org/annna for my commands."
1863 ;;
1864 "${ircuser}, please meme meme meme me.")
1865 randomtag=2
1866 while [ $randomtag -gt 0 ];
1867 do
1868 rtag="$(printf "%s\n" "$(hashtags)" | shuf -n 1)"
1869 tagname=""
1870 taguri=""
1871 for tag in ${rtag};
1872 do
1873 [ -z "${tagname}" ] && tagname="${tag}" && continue
1874 taguri="${tag}"
1875 done
1876
1877 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${tagname}: ${taguri}"
1878
1879 randomtag=$((randomtag - 1))
1880 done
1881 ;;
1882 "${ircuser}, what's the wheelchair shooter meme again?")
1883 tagname="#scrollby"
1884 tagline="$(printf "%s\n" "$(hashtags)" | grep "^${tagname} ")"
1885 tagname="$(printf "%s\n" "${tagline}" | cut -d ' ' -f 1)"
1886 taguri="$(printf "%s\n" "${tagline}" | cut -d ' ' -f 2-)"
1887 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${tagname}: ${taguri}"
1888 ;;
1889 "${ircuser}, TIL "*)
1890 minimum_learned_len=12
1891 offset=$(( ${#ircuser} + 6 ))
1892 learned="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" \
1893 | cut -c $offset- \
1894 | sed 's,\t, ,g')"
1895 if [ ${#learned} -le $minimum_learned_len ];
1896 then
1897 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, can you explain better what you learned?"
1898 else
1899 result="$(til ${user} "${learned}")"
1900 if [ $? -eq 0 ];
1901 then
1902 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${result}"
1903 fi
1904 fi
1905 ;;
1906 "${ircuser}, what have I learned?")
1907 if result=$(til-user ${user});
1908 then
1909 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, ${result}"
1910 fi
1911 ;;
1912
1913 esac
1914
1915 printf '%s' "$text" | awk -v taglimit="$printnhashtags" '
1916 $0 !~ /#nospoil/ {
1917 while (match($0, /[#*&]+[^# /"'\'',?!;$\001]+/)) {
1918 tag = substr($0, RSTART, RLENGTH)
1919 $0 = substr($0, RSTART + RLENGTH)
1920 sub(/[.]*$/, "", tag)
1921 if (!uniq[tag]++ && taglimit-- > 0)
1922 print tag
1923 }
1924 }' | head -n "$printnhashtags" | while read -r tag;
1925 do
1926 [ "${tag}" = "#expand" ] && continue
1927
1928 origtag="${tag}"
1929 pointer=0
1930 revpointer=0
1931 case "${tag}" in
1932 "*"*)
1933 tag="#$(printf "%s\n" "${tag}" | sed "s,^[\*]*,,")"
1934 pointer=1
1935 ;;
1936 "&"*)
1937 tag="#$(printf "%s\n" "${tag}" | sed "s,^[\&]*,,")"
1938 revpointer=1
1939 ;;
1940 *)
1941 esac
1942
1943 tagline="$(grep "${tag} " "${hashtagfile}" | shuf -n 1)";
1944 if [ -n "${tagline}" ];
1945 then
1946 if [ $nospoil -eq 0 ];
1947 then
1948 if [ $pointer -eq 1 ];
1949 then
1950 inpath="/br/gopher/memecache/${tagline##*/}"
1951 [ ! -f "${inpath}" ] && exit 0
1952
1953 outfile="${tag#\#}.jpg"
1954 # pointy pointers
1955 outpath="$(printf "%s\n" "${origtag}" \
1956 | sed 's,\*,&\n,g' \
1957 | grep "^*" \
1958 | while read -r asterisk;
1959 do
1960 outfile="*${outfile}"
1961 outpath="/br/gopher/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1962 printf "%s\n" "${outpath}"
1963 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1964 then
1965 inpath="${outpath}";
1966 continue
1967 fi
1968 pointer "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;
1969 inpath="${outpath}";
1970 done | tail -n 1)"
1971
1972 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1973 then
1974 outfile="$(basename "${outpath}")"
1975 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${origtag}: gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1976 fi
1977 elif [ $revpointer -eq 1 ];
1978 then
1979 inpath="/br/gopher/memecache/${tagline##*/}"
1980 [ ! -f "${inpath}" ] && exit 0
1981
1982 outfile="${tag#\#}.jpg"
1983 # pointy pointers
1984 outpath="$(printf "%s\n" "${origtag}" \
1985 | sed 's,\&,&\n,g' \
1986 | grep "^&" \
1987 | while read -r asterisk;
1988 do
1989 outfile="&${outfile}"
1990 outpath="/br/gopher/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
1991 printf "%s\n" "${outpath}"
1992 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
1993 then
1994 inpath="${outpath}";
1995 continue
1996 fi
1997 revpointer "${inpath}" "${outpath}" >/dev/null 2>&1;
1998 inpath="${outpath}";
1999 done | tail -n 1)"
2000
2001 if [ -e "${outpath}" ];
2002 then
2003 outfile="$(basename "${outpath}")"
2004 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${origtag}: gophers://bitreich.org/9/memecache/filter/${outfile}"
2005 fi
2006 else
2007 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${tagline% *}: ${tagline#* }"
2008 fi
2009 fi
2010 else
2011 if [ $doexpand -eq 1 ];
2012 then
2013 taglength=$(utf8expr length "${tag}")
2014 if [ $uriexpansion -eq 0 ] && [ $taglength -gt 3 ];
2015 then
2016 didyoumean="$(annna-meme-recommend "${tag}")"
2017 if [ -n "${didyoumean}" ];
2018 then
2019 annna-say -c "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Did you mean: ${didyoumean}?"
2020 fi
2021 fi
2022 fi
2023 fi
2024 done
2025
2026 case "${text}" in
2027 *\#nospoil*)
2028 ;;
2029 *rfc[0-9]*)
2030 rfcname="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.*\(rfc[0-9]*\).*,\1,')"
2031 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${rfcname}: ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/${rfcname}.txt"
2032 ;;
2033 *RFC[0-9]*)
2034 rfcname="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.*\(RFC[0-9]*\).*,\1,' | tr '[A-Z]' '[a-z]')"
2035 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${rfcname}: ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/${rfcname}.txt"
2036 ;;
2037 esac
2038
2039 # Always keep the karma / shame last!
2040 case "${text}" in
2041 *"-shaming"*)
2042 shametext="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | sed 's,.* \(.*-shaming\).*,\1,')"
2043 shame "${shametext}" >/dev/null
2044 ;;
2045 *"arma is a bitch"*)
2046 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "${user}, I object! Karma is a nice girl!"
2047 ;;
2048 "score "*)
2049 # For referee scoring.
2050 ;;
2051 *++|*--|*-=?|*+=?|*+=-?|*-=-?)
2052 karmatext="$(karma "${text}")"
2053 if [ -n "$karmatext" ];
2054 then
2055 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "karma: ${karmatext}"
2056 fi
2057 ;;
2058 esac
2059
2060 # Membership Level.
2061 ismember=0
2062 for member in $brmembers;
2063 do
2064 [ "$user" = "$member" ] && ismember=1
2065 done
2066 [ $ismember -lt 1 ] && exit
2067
2068 case "${text}" in
2069 "${ircuser}, please go to sleep.")
2070 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Going to sleep ... Zzzz ..."
2071 touch "${ircbase}/annna-is-sleeping"
2072 ;;
2073 "${ircuser}, please wake up.")
2074 rm -f "${ircbase}/annna-is-sleeping"
2075 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Good morning BITREICH!"
2076 ;;
2077 "${ircuser}, can you show me the uptime please?")
2078 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(hostname) uptime: $(uptime)"
2079 ;;
2080 "${ircuser}, please show me the load.")
2081 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(hostname) load: $(LANG=C uptime | sed 's,.*load average: \(.*\)$,\1,')"
2082 ;;
2083 "${ircuser}, please give me the count of online users.")
2084 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "$(hostname): $(who -q | tail -n 1 | cut -d'=' -f 2)"
2085 ;;
2086 "${ircuser}, please update the phlog index.")
2087 phlog-index > /dev/null 2>&1
2088 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "Thanks! Your request has been fulfilled with the quickness! :)"
2089 ;;
2090 esac
2091
2092 # Referee Level.
2093 isreferee=0
2094 for referee in $referees;
2095 do
2096 [ "$user" = "$referee" ] && isreferee=1
2097 done
2098 [ $isreferee -lt 1 ] && exit
2099
2100 case "${text}" in
2101 "score "*)
2102 text="$(printf "%s\n" "${text}" | cut -d' ' -f2-)"
2103 case "${text}" in
2104 *++|*--|*-=?|*+=?|*+=-?|*-=-?|*-=??|*+=??|*-=-??|*-=65536*)
2105 scoretext="$(brcon-score "${text}")"
2106 if [ -n "$scoretext" ];
2107 then
2108 annna-say -s "${server}" -c "${channel}" "brcon score: ${scoretext}"
2109 fi
2110 ;;
2111 esac
2112 ;;
2113 esac
2114