talk-gentoo.sh - dotg - Day Of The GrParazyd
HTML git clone git://bitreich.org/dotg git://enlrupgkhuxnvlhsf6lc3fziv5h2hhfrinws65d7roiv6bfj7d652fid.onion/dotg
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---
talk-gentoo.sh (2706B)
---
1 specific_talk_gentoo() {
2 item="$1"
3
4 if [ -f "$hipsters/obese/.takingashit" -o \
5 -f "$hipsters/obese/.inkitchensink" ]; then
6 _msg "The yoghurt did not bode well for the spaniard. He's taking a shit."
7 return
8 fi
9
10 case "$item" in
11 Old_Thinkpad)
12 _msg "
13 You whip out your old Thinkpad and show the spaniard the amazing
14 Gentoo Hardened setup you have.
15
16 The spaniard is butthurt that you have access to latest grsecurity
17 patches so he wants to start plotting murder against you.
18
19 You realize if you just start walking away in a normal tempo he would
20 be unable to catch up.
21
22 You put your laptop back in your backpack."
23 ;;
24
25 Plate_of_Bolognese_Sauce)
26 _msg "
27 You give a plate of Bolognese sauce to the spaniard.
28
29 He thanks you and starts eating it swiftly."
30 mv "$inventory/$item" "$hipsters/obese/"
31 ;;
32
33 Beers)
34 _msg "You offer a beer to the spaniard. He refuses.
35
36 Is it because it makes bellies big, you ponder..."
37 ;;
38
39 Chocolate_Milks)
40 _msg "You give a chocolate milk bottle to the spaniard. He thanks you and
41 drinks it in one sip."
42 dropitem "$item"
43 ;;
44
45 Old_yoghurt)
46 _msg "You give the old yoghurt to the spaniard. He starts eating it.
47
48 You hear his stomach gurgling. Struggling, but he manages to get"
49
50 if [ -f "$inventory/.isfrench" ]; then
51 _msg "up and start walking towards the kitchen sink."
52 printf 1 > "$hipsters/obese/.inkitchensink"
53 else
54 _msg "up and start walking towards the toilet."
55 printf 1 > "$hipsters/obese/.takingashit"
56 fi
57
58 rm -f "$toilet1/shower/.notyet"
59 rm -f "$toilet2/shower/.notyet"
60 cp -f "$hipsters/obese/Plate_of_Bolognese_Sauce" "$hipsters/coffeetable"
61
62 if [ -f "$inventory/.isfrench" ]; then
63 if [ -f "$toilet1/shower/Cheese" -a \
64 -f "$toilet2/shower/Black_dildo" ]; then
65 _msg "You hear a strange noise coming from the
66 NeXT machine."
67 rm -f "$inventory/.notyet"
68 fi
69 else
70 if [ -f "$kitchen/sink/Cheese" -a \
71 -f "$toilet2/shower/Black_dildo" ]; then
72 _msg "You hear a strange noise coming from the
73 NeXT machine."
74 rm -f "$inventory/.notyet"
75 fi
76 fi
77 ;;
78
79 The_Birth_of_Tragedy)
80 _msg '"Man, christianity sucks, man." - He says while gasping.
81
82 You nod.'
83 ;;
84
85 The_C_Programming_Language)
86 _msg "You show the K&R book to the spaniard. His head explodes."
87 printf 1 > "$hipsters/obese/.dead"
88 ;;
89
90 Developing_NodeJS)
91 _msg '"Man, nodejs sucks, man." - He says while gasping.'
92 ;;
93
94 Condom_balloon)
95 _msg "You show the condom balloon to the spaniard. He breaks it with his hands
96 and tucks the remaining latex away in his underwear."
97 rm -f "$inventory/$item"
98 ;;
99 esac
100 }