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Stardate: 20200124.1933
Location: mutated_labs
Input Device: Gemini PDA via Steam Box (ono-sendai)
Audio: anonradio.net Open Mic
Visual: Misc. lab clutter
Energy: 60%
Mental: 60%
Emotional: Split between Friday night exhaustion and Friday night
gotta do something!
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OK, I gotta write something before I get pulled into something else.
I have too many half started/finished entries that I have not posted.
It bugs me but I guess that's just the nature of things right now.
So be it.
I had a 5-day weekend last weekend and spent a couple hours
meditating at an ashram by the ocean. It was very grounding and
brought me back to the here and now. I need to do more of that. I
think it is very helpful with my absentmindedness and my mental
availability to others and of this existence.
Afterwards, I went to the mountains and did some hiking. That's one
of the things I like about living in SoCal. You can go to the ocean,
you can go to the city, you can go to the mountains, you can go all
kinds of places in one day...depending on traffic and how you plan
your day. Where I grew up, the options were pretty flat and slim.
So I'm walking around the mountains, just kinda there, looking at
the sky, the trees, the nature of it all. There was cloud cover and
I think there was rain in the forecast. I was feeling a bit chilly
with the wind and had to move around.
There was a big oak tree up ahead that had its branches growing
downward convering around the trunk and providing some shelter. I
walked over and took refuge.
Under the tree, I was just zoning out on everything probably because
of all the stress and being on call, etc. It felt like I melded
with everything and all the crap leading to that moment just
dissipated. I sat on a bench underneath the big oak tree and just
melted.
A bit after, I sensed being called, you know, the kind that is not
like being called audibly, rather, you are being summoned by nature
or some kind of instinct or something. This happens to me sometimes
and I know other people that this happens to as well. (No, I am not
a weirdo sometimes...and so am I.) When this happens, there is
something I am supposed to see or experience or some kind of message.
I walked out past the branches and into the clearing and saw this
big beam of light breaking through the clouds. It was breathtaking
and I was mesmerized. The light looked like it was searching and
scanning. Next there were more beams of light searching and scanning.
And then eventually, I was found! The beam of light warmed my soul
and brought about a feeling of love and affirmation, that yeah, I am
perfectly me as I am...at that moment in time...as I have always been.
Here are some souvenir pics and video I took:
HTML Pics
RESERV Sun searching...
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