What most women expect:
         He will be a brilliant conversationalist.
         He will be very sensitive, kind, understanding, truly loving.
         He will be a very hard working man.
         He will help around the house by washing dishes, vacuuming
                 floors, and taking care of the yard.
         He will help his wife raise the children.
         He will be a man of emotional and physical strength.
         He will be as smart as Einstein, but will look like Robert Redford.
 What she gets:
         He always takes her to the best restaurants. (Some day he may
                 even take her inside.)
         He doesn't have any ulcers...he gives them.
         Anytime he gets an idea in his head, he has the whole thing in a
                 nutshell.
         He's well-known as a miracle worker...it's a miracle when he
                 works.
         He supports his wife in the manner to which she was
                 accustomed...he's letting her keep her job.
         He's such a bore that he even bores you to death when he gives
                 you a compliment.
         He has occasional flashes of silence that make his conversation
                 brilliant.
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 What most men expect:
         She will always be beautiful and cheerful.  She could marry a
                 movie star, but wants only you.
         She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.
         Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm.
         She will never be sick...just allergic to jewelry and fur coats.
         She will insist that moving the furniture by herself is good for
                 her figure.
         She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car
                 or TV, painting the house, and keeping quiet.
         Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shoveling
                 snow (when necessary).
         She will hate charge cards.
         Her favorite expression will be, "What can I do for you, Dear?"
         She will think you have Einstein's brain but look like Mr.
                 America.
         She will wish you would go out with the boys so she could get
                 some sewing done.
         She will love you because you're so sexy.
 What he gets:
         She speaks 140 words a minute, with gusts up to 180.
         She was once a model for a totem pole.
         She is a light eater...as soon as it gets light, she starts
                 eating.
         Where there's smoke, there she is...cooking.
         She lets you know you only have two faults...everything you say
                 and everything you do.
         No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an
                 explosion in a steel wool factory.
         If you get lost, open your wallet...she'll find you.