Path: news.astraweb.com!border6.newsrouter.astraweb.com!news.glorb.com!fu-berlin.de!uni-berlin.de!individual.net!not-for-mail From: Hugh Newbury Newsgroups: uk.rec.humour Subject: Groaners Date: Sat, 04 Apr 2015 08:22:29 +0100 Lines: 52 Message-ID: Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: individual.net 7MA+A2szBBclpM3mZqka1AA/5FCNTDeBUj1TRbr0XZ8PhvQYg= Cancel-Lock: sha1:PoqNOPmEwYFWUPCY4pWpoZyyBSc= User-Agent: Mozilla/5.0 (X11; Linux x86_64; rv:17.0) Gecko/20130329 Thunderbird/17.0.5 > *"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year.* > > *.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.* > > *.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.* > > *.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U. C. L. A.* > > *.. The batteries were given out free of charge.* > > *.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.* > > *.. A will is a dead giveaway.* > > *.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.* > > *.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.* > > *.. When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.* > > *.. Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.* > > *.. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.* > > *.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.* > > *.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.* > > *.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.* > > *.. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.* > > *.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.* > > *.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.* > > * Hugh -- Hugh Newbury www.evershot-weather.org