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#Post#: 72988--------------------------------------------------
Son is engaged!
By: Gellchom Date: January 12, 2022, 12:07 am
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My son is engaged!
So of course I am counting on all of you for good advice.
It is a second marriage for both of them. No children.
This will be a very different experience this time. Both his
first wedding and our daughter’s wedding were in our (then)
city, and we were mostly or completely hosting both times. They
were all in their mid twenties then; now in mid thirties with
good careers.
This time, it will be in their city, and they are doing the
planning and paying, although we are chipping in: we will pay
for a full open bar and a live band instead of a DJ if that’s
what they decide. Maybe more, but that’s so far. They are able
to afford what they want without us anyway. We would’ve hosted
dinner the night before for all the out of towers (there will be
no attendants), but my mother already dibsed that! :) The HC
will choose a nearby casual restaurant for that.
They want it to be around 75 people, which is a small wedding in
our family. My son is worried about offending people, but I
told him I am sure everyone will understand, especially for a
second wedding, for some reason. I just reminded him of the
principle we talk about here that you can invite, say, 2 out of
10 cousins (or other group) because you have a special
relationship with them, but not 8 or 9 out of 10. I also told
him not to start with rules or cutoff lines, but to write down
the names of the real people they are dealing with and then look
at it. Almost always, the answer is then clear. There usually
doesn’t need to be a “rule” at all.
I’m sure I will need a lot of advice as we go along. I’m looking
forward to sharing the ride with you all.
#Post#: 72989--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged!
By: holly firestorm Date: January 12, 2022, 12:45 am
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Honestly, no advice, just a hearty Congratulations!
#Post#: 72992--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engage
By: Lilipons Date: January 12, 2022, 7:34 am
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Dear Gellchom,
Although there will always be glitches, the impending Wedding
sounds rational and fun.
Every happiness to all concerned.
#Post#: 72994--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged!
By: BeagleMommy Date: January 12, 2022, 9:14 am
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Congratulations!
The best advice I can give to your son is to invite only those
to whom you have a close relationship. Since they are keeping
the guest list small there is no need to invite all the cousins.
#Post#: 73003--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged!
By: jpcher Date: January 12, 2022, 12:59 pm
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Congratulations! Happy News! ;D
#Post#: 73005--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged!
By: Hmmm Date: January 12, 2022, 1:37 pm
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Congratulations!
#Post#: 73006--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged!
By: lowspark Date: January 12, 2022, 1:48 pm
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Mazel tov!
#Post#: 73183--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged!
By: TootsNYC Date: January 21, 2022, 1:04 pm
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[quote] I also told him not to start with rules or cutoff lines,
but to write down the names of the real people they are dealing
with and then look at it. Almost always, the answer is then
clear. There usually doesn’t need to be a “rule” at
all.[/quote]
I think this is so true.
And especially for a second wedding.
#Post#: 73216--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged!
By: Rho Date: January 22, 2022, 9:19 pm
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Mazel Tov!
When is the wedding? How much time do we have to advise you?
#Post#: 73257--------------------------------------------------
Re: Son is engaged!
By: mime Date: January 24, 2022, 1:40 pm
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Congratulations! I agree with your approach of writing out the
list of people who must come, and seeing where that takes you.
Something that was helpful for me was being aware of 'pivotal'
people-- the type where inviting them seems to require inviting
8 other people as well, because it opens up a new social circle.
Sometimes it was easiest to leave out The Ricardos because it
would be too hard to invite them without also inviting the
Windorskis, Jacksons, and Raos.
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