DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: The Work Day
*****************************************************
#Post#: 76487--------------------------------------------------
My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also supers
ensitive and whiney. New Update
By: ZekailleTasker Date: July 25, 2022, 3:45 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
At my wit's end.
We recently hired new library staff to replace people who were
promoted to other positions and relocated to other branches. I
was lucky enough to get my top choice (Diva) who, although
taking on a low-level entry position for support staff, came
with stellar references, accomplishments and abilities. The
woman has a Master's degree and at her previous job in Othe Huge
City was fortunate that the administration was willing to take
her from a support position, create a whole new job and title
for her and put her on a footing with the professional
librarians.
That cannot happen here. We have strict job descriptions for
support and professional staff at the library (thanks to the
fact that the various city unions and HR do not understand that
a library functions differently than, say, the Tax Collector's
office). Technically, I cannot ask a person in Support Position
A to do things that someone in Support Position B does because
that's above their pay grade and they can grieve it. The only
wiggle room we have is a phrase written into the job
descriptions "and other duties and special projects as
assigned."
Diva was here all of one day and, with my supervisor's
permission, I allowed her to take on some projects that she
invented as she walked in the door--and they have had great
success. Unfortunately, on my staff is another "new" person who
was promoted and sent to my branch to replace another person who
was relocated. "Prima" is blunt, by the book and doesn't always
"hear" what is being said to her. She has been coming to me
about Diva taking on too much that is out of her paygrade. Any
time Diva suggests a new program Prima automatically says "You
should talk to X or Y about that as they have run similar
programs and you don't have to reinvent the wheel, and really,
that's their job, anyway. Not yours." (If we were a TV Soap
opera, they would be Alexis and Crystal Carrington.)
Now, it sounds like Prima is the problem--and I admit I am
struggling to rein her in--but Diva is really testing my
patience and my kindness with her reactions to this and other
comments.
Everything anyone says, however casually or gently, is taken as
a criticism and sends her running into my office to cry. I
have spoken with the other staff and assured them that they did
nothing wrong and that it was my fault (it really was in this
instance) that I did not make it crystal clear what was going on
and have corrected that error many times. Diva is still not
happy. "The staff hate me." (They don't.) "Prima talks to you
like she's the boss." (Prima talks that way to everyone, always
has and won't change. And no, she isn't going to be fired
because--politics.) "Maybe I would be happier at another
branch." So I offered her that option and she started to cry
"See, you have suggested that twice. You see me as a problem
and want to get rid of me." (Well, I didn't before, but I might
now.)
Another issue? Diva got hired in part because she knows the Big
Boss. Big Boss has taken a strong dislike to all the managers
as we have been here way longer than her and she is always glad
when another of us retires. She changes her mind the way The
Horse of a Different Color changes shades. We are given Policy
on Monday and follow it to the letter and on Wednesday we are
all taken to task for doing so. She has created a bunch of new
procedures that we are expected to have done every month. Which
would be great if she didn't keep changing the due dates and the
way in which things are to be done. She has invented a bunch of
computer programs that don't work reliably, but again--it's our
fault. Some of my coworkers are thinking that she has hired a
few of her friends and stuck them in our branches to see what
she can catch us up on. It is freakin' exhausting.
I am at a loss at this point. Management is not something I am
completely comfortable with--I am a rebel and am not as hands on
or micromanaging as some of my peers. My supervisor and I are
trying to work out a strategy for Diva and Prima, but he is
almost as clueless as I am on this sort of problem. You come in
two hours late? You come in drunk? You don't show up and don't
explain why? You smack another employee? THAT we can deal
with. This crying and tattling (yes, Diva comes in and snitches
on what her coworkers are or aren't doing) and her latest
announcement that "I am not the problem. It's those other mean
people who hate me" is stressing me to the max. I would write
to "Ask a Manager" but poor Alison is buried under questions and
I need some advice now.
Have you ever had to manage someone who sees everything as "them
against me"? Is Diva trying to drive a wedge between me and my
staff?
I was planning on retiring in 2023 partly so I could pay off
some bills and save up more cash but also to annoy the Big Boss
(who keeps making pronouncements about how the rest of us who
have been here for years should retire). Now, I want to rent a
TARDIS and go back to January and put in my retirement
resignation.
If you don't have advice, do you at least have a TARDIS???
#Post#: 76491--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a s
upersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
By: sandisadie Date: July 25, 2022, 6:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Yes! My daughter has a Tardis in her office. And - no she will
not let anyone else use it. Or even touch it! So sorry!!
#Post#: 76493--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a s
upersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
By: Hmmm Date: July 26, 2022, 8:34 am
---------------------------------------------------------
This sounds exhausting.
Since Prima is blunt, be blunt back. "Prima, it is my
responsibility to assign tasks. I appreciate that you take an
interest in the success of the library, but your input on what
Diva is doing is unnecessary. If Supervisor is unhappy with how
I'm assigning tasks, he will bring that up. If you have a
question about assignments or programs, bring it directly to me
or to Supervisor and not address it with the other staff. It
creates confusion."
With Diva, I'd quit babying her. Tell her she can either listen
to the input from her co-workers and accept it as input or tell
them to come talk to you. But coming to you upset every time a
comment is made is unprofessional and will not foster a good
relationship with the co-workers. Teach her a phrase of "Thanks
for the input. I'll discuss it with Zekaille and get her
thoughts." On the tattlling, put her on her back foot with a
"why are you sharing this?"
You may also want to have a general staff meeting with everyone
and remind them that with new staff, things will change and if
there are questions on roles and responsibilities, to bring them
up now. Or in the future to bring them directly to you and
Supervisor.
#Post#: 76502--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a s
upersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
By: jpcher Date: July 26, 2022, 3:32 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=2377.msg76493#msg76493
date=1658842495]
This sounds exhausting.
(snip)
You may also want to have a general staff meeting with everyone
and remind them that with new staff, things will change and if
there are questions on roles and responsibilities, to bring them
up now. Or in the future to bring them directly to you and
Supervisor.
[/quote]
You say "We recently hired new library staff" how long ago was
that? Did Prima and Diva start on the same day (or shortly one
after the other?) Most importantly, are you pretty much done
with your new hires starting? How many new hires do you have?
I think the above are pertinent questions that might help us
give better answers.
I agree with a staff meeting. Not to point out in detail
everybody's rolls, explain rules, or what-not-to-dos, but a
friendly gathering (including all staff, not just the newbies)
to introduce the team to each other in an informal way.
Start the meeting with "It's great to see new faces! Welcome to
our wonderful library! Let's get to know each other. I'm
ZekailleTasker. I've been in the library biz for Xyears, with
this library for Yyears and I love skydiving with my dog. ;D"
Then pass the baton and let everybody share a bit about
themselves. Who knows? Maybe they'll find a common ground.
You know, the typical team-building experience.
You could close the meeting with Hmmm's suggestion "Does anybody
have any thoughts or suggestions on how to make this team a
well-oiled machine? Let's talk about them now, as a team." Keep
things positive.
And, of course, offer your ear. "I'm always here to listen to
your wonderful and new ideas."
#Post#: 76521--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a s
upersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
By: ZekailleTasker Date: July 27, 2022, 3:49 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Thank you all. I seem to be dealing with a moody teenager in a
45-year-old woman's body. Diva has now decided to speak with
her coworkers, but now she's refusing to do any of the really
great things she was doing before. "Oh, I don't want to step on
anyone's toes."
The staff hires happened back in May/June. Admin took my top
support staff member and stationed her elsewhere. Then they
promoted my other top worker (who can also be a poisonous snake)
and moved them to the Big Library downtown. Those two moves I
knew about. What I DIDN'T know was that they were taking my
second in command librarian as well. I found out about that the
day it happened. "Oh, didn't we tell you?"
They replaced him with a low-level support staff member. Then
Prima was promoted (I was in on her interview, and she was head
and shoulders above the others who I have known for years) and
assigned to my library to replace Top Worker.
All three new people are absolutely excellent in most ways. I
have known Prima since she was a teenager helping refile books
on the shelves, but she comes from what I can only call "a rigid
union family" so she is very, very buy the book and will grieve
at the drop of a hat. She is struggling a bit here because my
branch is a bit looser and a little more relaxed on some of the
draconian rules. (If you get all your work done and don't
insult patrons, sure, go ahead and watch funny cat videos, but
don't do it all day and do keep the sound off.)
Diva was the first of the three hires. She came on the week
before I was going on vacation. Prima came on the week I was on
vacation. (I had to write to the office and tell them they had
promised they would not take staff while I was on vacation and
pointed out that they had promised I could GO on vacation this
time. So, they left me with Top Worker to take up the slack.
Seriously, top tier management just does NOT think.)
Speaking with my supervisor (who doesn't actually work in my
branch), I was surprised that he and Big Boss were already
making plans to get Diva promoted asap because her skills and
abilities are so good that we hate wasting them and her on an
entry level position.
But, as I said, she is behaving like a moody teen. The woman
has three kids and a husband for crying out loud. She's acting
like I did when I was 14 and couldn't get my own way.
Today I asked how a certain project was going. "Oh, I am not
doing that now." "Why not?" "I don't want to step on anyone's
toes." "Uh--I approved that project. You are going to do it."
"No, I don't want to do it now." and she smiles sweetly and
walked away. It appears she likes attention and if she isn't
getting it--or can't do everything she wants at once, then, by
golly, she won't do but the bare minimum.
Evaluations are coming up for the three of them this week. I'll
be talking to Prima about toning it down and trying to talk to
Diva about her attitude---I'm not sure how that will go, since
she picks apart every word to find some level of mockery or
disrespect or hatred. My staff is, frankly, a little scared of
her. I admit, she reminds me of a late relative whose demeanor
terrified everyone: you never knew how he was doing to react and
Diva is the same. What made her laugh yesterday might piss her
off today.
And, of course, my supervisor, who promised to help me out with
some of this, is MIA.
We had a meeting this morning and I didn't get the chance to ask
about being a well oiled machine because we had to have the
meeting during open hours and we were running back and forth to
help patrons both in person and on the phone.
11 more months.
#Post#: 76527--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a s
upersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
By: frog24 Date: July 27, 2022, 5:55 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
If you regularly read Ask A Manager, you know what Alison would
tell you to do. You need to meet with them (individually, of
course!) and address the issues as they affect the job. Each of
these new hires needs to have a course correction. Then have a
general meeting with all employees to discuss expectations and
announce any special projects that are assigned so everyone
knows what to expect from everyone else.
For Diva, I'd turn it back on her in the 1:1 meeting: "I
assigned you project X, and you told me you were no longer
working on it. I need to know you're working on the projects
I've assigned and completing them as we originally discussed.
Can you do that?"
You can do this!
(And we're all counting down the months with you.)
#Post#: 76562--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a s
upersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
By: JeanFromBNA Date: July 29, 2022, 3:04 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I'd ask Diva what she plans to do to fix the problem or move the
assigned work forward. Put it back on her shoulders. If she went
into a rant about how she's disliked, I'd ignore her and change
the subject to work. Honestly, it sounds like she has a
personality disorder.
#Post#: 77486--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a s
upersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
By: bopper Date: October 21, 2022, 1:29 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
"Diva, I have noticed that when you suggest a new program that
other coworkers tell you to talk to management or to see if we
have done this type of thing before, you take this personally
and come to me upset. What I would like you to do instead is
bring up your ideas to me/mgr and if someone says we did this
before to say "Thanks for the head up, I will look into the
history.' Because maybe you have a great idea. Or maybe we
tried this 3 years ago and it didn't work because our population
is different. We value your creativity, but we also value
efficiency and what will work for our customers. Is that
something you can do."
#Post#: 77687--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a s
upersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
By: Hmmm Date: November 7, 2022, 2:26 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
ZT, has things become any easier with Prima and Diva?
#Post#: 77793--------------------------------------------------
Re: My Wonderful, Funny, Talented, Creative New Hire is also a s
upersensitive, whiney, tattling Drama Queen
By: ZekailleTasker Date: November 18, 2022, 8:12 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Sorry, gang. I have been like the headless chicken. But now I
am home for the next week with the 'rona and have time to go
thru emails and answer messages.
Oh, things have got waaaay easier with Diva. First, admin
decided they needed everyone with children's background
centralized at the main library. So Diva was being transfered
and she was peeved.
Did I ask for her to be transfered? Because I wasn't upset like
I was when they transfered Other Coworker. So Lily must have
wanted her transferred. I found out she asked all the other
staff if she was being transferred because I asked for it.
I had to write up one last evaluation for her in which I waxed
eloquent about her abilities and talents. The one negative was
that she needs to feel more secure in her abilities as she
questions whether she is valued.
Did not like that. Let me know her last place of business had
better, top quality people who would never turn on her. Etc.
I called the coworker who would now be her boss, and who was
terrified of dealing with her, to let her know and sent a
description of the conversation to my supervisor who told me she
said the same thing to him.
In the meantime, I git a phone call from a local school
principal asking about Diva. Is she creative? On time?
Understands tasks as assigned? I was able to give an
enthusiastic yes and they never asked if she played well with
others, so I didn't have to answer...and...
A week later, Diva quit.
My coworker is torn. She needs all the help she can get as her
department has been getting along with 2 people, but she also
said that Diva was already complaining about one of the other
staff and streamlining procedures that didn't need
streamlining...etc.
Diva got her new job and we got rid of Diva.
We couldn't be happier.
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page