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#Post#: 79260--------------------------------------------------
From Reddit: Etiquette situation-people cutting and people objec
ting
By: LadyX Date: May 8, 2023, 11:13 pm
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HTML https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/13cbo97/aita_for_changing_my_mind_about_kicking_people/
AITA for changing my mind about kicking people out of line, who
were cutting into it, at a Vendor event?
Apparently AITA has a 3k word limit... I don't feel like cutting
half of what I wrote, so here we are. Bonus points if someone
recognizes me, and can name the city/main act at the event.
Hello,
I'm happy to accept an Asshole judgment, just genuinely curious.
I'm also posting under my main account.. wonder if anyone
recognizes me!
Years ago, I was at an undisclosed conference for work. At these
events, meals are always provided. A potentially contributing
factor, is that breakfast was incredibly bare bones; I'm talking
all visual, and a no mass kind of breakfast... To make it worse,
lunch as about three hours late. Thousands of hungry people, and
hot weather aren't always a great combination..
Side note: Please don't accept this as an excuse for my
behavior, I'm just trying to set the scene.. People were
beginning to get a bit beyond frustrated.
Finally, the announcement was made that lunch was being served,
and instructions were given, to line up to be served at the
three buffet tables. Yes, a few thousand people, lining up at
three buffet tables. My coworkers/colleagues opted to hang back
until the long lines subsided, but I was very hungry, and chose
not to wait.
There I was, in line with roughly a hundred or so people in
front of me. This is when a handful of people grouped up beside
the line nearly immediately in front of me, and were having a
conversation. This caught my attention, because the line behind
me was growing by the second, and I just knew they that once
they noticed, they were going to try to cut in front of me and
the other properly queued people.
My assumptions were quickly realized, when they began to look at
the length of the line, and collectively/wordlessly merged with
the line. They jumped in about 2-3 people in front of me, and
one of them even made sustained eye contact with one of me while
doing so... It was incredulous. I gave the guy a "you serious
bruh?" expression, and he shrugged his shoulders at me.. I mean
the nerve.. I can remember looking around me, to my other
properly queued allies, but I received nothing more than an
acknowledging frown. It was obviously up to me..
I began "You guys can't be serious.. The back of the line is
back there." followed by me pointing over my shoulder with my
thumb. A bit cliché, I admit it, but please don't judge me on
being predicable. They all turned to face me, and the girl of
the group said. "Are you serious." before looking me up and down
and scoffing.. As if I had "the nerve" to question "Them". Them
being the attractive group of people, who were obviously
involved in "Sales"... You know.. The spoiled lot in the
business world.. the "entitled children", if you will....
I stood firm, however. I wasn't about to let this wrong be
ignored, and allow this group of "Sales People" get away with
their horrific transgression. This wasn't middle school, this
was a business "Conference". A place of dignity, and class. A
place where one represented their company with a certain
composure. (I later learned that this was not true in the least,
however it was my first year, and I had yet to witness the
"event" night, and the drunken escapades of people getting what
was essentially a hall pass from their children... aka drunken,
out of control 30-60 year old's).
So, there I was being stared down by a handful of the "upper"
class of the business world, the "Sales Team". They giggled at
me; My incredulousness amused them, and they weren't taking me
seriously. I persevered in the face of their utter bullshit.
"This isn't a joke, and you aren't children. Get in the back of
the line, and stop acting like you're entitled to jumping in
line. What you're doing is absolutely pathetic, and I can't
believe I have to speak up... Get moving."
One of the guys meekly said something along the lines of "Well,
you're the only one that seems to have a problem." I scoffed.. I
genuinely did.. What a fucking statement.. I mean really... Who
wouldn't have a problem with it.. I mean.. I may have been the
one that spoke up, but obviously, the others in line took issue
with what they were doing.
I smiled, and looked around me.... "Ok then.. who else thinks
they're a bunch of assholes?" Silence... utter silence.. The
other people in line.. The very people whose queuing rights, and
dignity I had spoken on behalf of, were averting their eyes from
me.. Like cowering dogs they chose to not support me, despite
how I had supported them... The betrayal I felt in that moment
was indescribable....
Here's where I might be the asshole.. My speech had gotten the
group of attractive sales people to begin to withdrawal
themselves reluctantly from the line. I had won, but to say it
was a bitter sweet victory would be the understatement of the
century.... See, one of the things I can't stand more than
people cutting in line, is a group of people not standing up for
themselves, especially if they weren't the first to speak out.
I'd laid the ground work.. I had their backs, and they couldn't
so much as look me in the eyes; They all ignored me as if they
were afraid of me. :( The very people whom I was trying to
protect.
So, I lost it a tad. I said something like, "Oh.. wait.. Hold on
a second... Apparently I'm in the wrong, and you guys are
right... I'm soooo sorry.. See.. here I thought that cutting in
line was wrong, but as seeing as me, the only person out of the
hundreds in line have taken an issue with it, I must be in the
wrong.. You guys are obviously in the right, my bad.. I'm soooo
sorry. No.. no no no no.. Don't get out of line.. Where are you
going.. No no no.. You guys belong in front of us.."
One of the Sales guys said.. "Well.. Why don't you get in front
of us.", and I replied.. "Oh, no.. Wouldn't dream of it.. That
would make me a hypocrite.. I'm not cutting in front of the
people between us. You guys enjoy your place. Enjoy you're place
in line despite the people that had lined up five our so minutes
before you.. You earned it.."
So, I didn't hear a word from the other people I was in line
with. I also made sure to emphasize that I hoped the "Sales
People" enjoyed their meal, as they were collecting it from the
buffet. I may have sarcastically apologized as the last one of
the group walked off as well.
So reddit, how do you judge me? :) AITA?
#Post#: 79263--------------------------------------------------
Re: From Reddit: Etiquette situation-people cutting and people o
bjecting
By: vintagegal Date: May 9, 2023, 7:57 am
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Snarky VG might have thrown in a remark like "you're obviously
SO MUCH MORE important than the rest of us, you go ahead."
#Post#: 79270--------------------------------------------------
Re: From Reddit: Etiquette situation-people cutting and people o
bjecting
By: DaDancingPsych Date: May 10, 2023, 1:02 pm
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I think Brimstoners agree that cutting is rude. However, I
imagine that if I was one of the other people in line that I
would be weighing things as to whether or not if I took a stand.
OP admits that this was one of their first conferences, so I am
guessing that this was early in their career and may not have
known which people you simply cannot cross paths with. If the
"Sales People" were always treated with higher respect than
anyone else at this conference / company, then it might not be
wise to ruffle their feathers. I can see a situation where this
causes them to not like the OP and cause career issues for them.
So I am guessing that while the others agreed with the OP that
they felt that this stand wasn't worth taking... or at least in
the fashion that OP attempted.
Career considerations aside, I might have mentioned that the end
of the line is actually back there, but I don't know that I
would have been as assertive as OP. Maybe that makes me a
doormat. I wonder what the Brimstone way to make this point
might have been???
#Post#: 79274--------------------------------------------------
Re: From Reddit: Etiquette situation-people cutting and people o
bjecting
By: Aleko Date: May 11, 2023, 1:37 am
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A lot will always depend on the way the protest looks and sounds
to everyone else. If this person came across as aggressive,
snarky or whiney - and it’s one of the sad facts of life that
however much one is in the right, an objection of this kind very
easily can, often quite unbeknownst to the objector - other
people will naturally be unwilling to associate themselves with
it, however justified. And if the objector isn’t already feeling
a supportive vibe in the room, it’s very unwise to turn to
onlookers and demand support: they will resent it.
In this case the objector was quite stupidly rude. It’s quite
possible that if he had turned and asked the company calmly
‘Well? Does anyone else mind these people cutting in?’ a fair
number would have nodded and mumbled ‘yeah’. Demanding that they
join him in calling the cutters - an entire department of their
colleagues - ‘a bunch of *****s’ is no way to uphold the cause
of common courtesy!
#Post#: 79276--------------------------------------------------
Re: From Reddit: Etiquette situation-people cutting and people o
bjecting
By: Gellchom Date: May 11, 2023, 3:36 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=2495.msg79274#msg79274
date=1683787020]
A lot will always depend on the way the protest looks and sounds
to everyone else. If this person came across as aggressive,
snarky or whiney - and it’s one of the sad facts of life that
however much one is in the right, an objection of this kind very
easily can, often quite unbeknownst to the objector - other
people will naturally be unwilling to associate themselves with
it, however justified. And if the objector isn’t already feeling
a supportive vibe in the room, it’s very unwise to turn to
onlookers and demand support: they will resent it.
In this case the objector was quite stupidly rude. It’s quite
possible that if he had turned and asked the company calmly
‘Well? Does anyone else mind these people cutting in?’ a fair
number would have nodded and mumbled ‘yeah’. Demanding that they
join him in calling the cutters - an entire department of their
colleagues - ‘a bunch of *****s’ is no way to uphold the cause
of common courtesy!
[/quote]
This exactly. The poster is surprised that no one saw them as
their hero. I’m not.
The poster just went way too far. Of course the cutting was
rude, and the cutters were being entitled jerks. Politely
speaking up once is okay; haranguing, insisting others
participate by call the offenders names, and never letting it
drop are all retaliatory rudeness. If I were behind them in
line, I would have been just as annoyed with the offenders, but
I would not have accepted the invitation to call them “a bunch
of ****s,” and I’m not surprised no one else did. I probably
would have just stood there thinking, “A pox on both your
houses. You’re all acting like children. I wonder if there’s a
coffee shop around here somewhere?”
#Post#: 79277--------------------------------------------------
Re: From Reddit: Etiquette situation-people cutting and people o
bjecting
By: Hmmm Date: May 11, 2023, 8:42 am
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With a 100 people ahead of him, what is another 5 really going
to hurt. He didn't even start out politely with a "hey, you
probably didn't notice but there is a fairly long que behind
you". Instead he was confrontational with "You guys can't be
serious.. The back of the line is back there." And his move onto
use of profanity, it is no wonder everyone wanted to avoid any
engagement with him. I don't know why he felt like he was going
to be the flag bearer causing all of these strangers around him
to charge onto the battle field.
This was a bit sad to read. It felt to me that OP seems to have
some esteem problems left from HS trauma. Labeling all "Sales
People" as entitled children and spoiled also makes him seem
like he has little experience in the in the business world or
knowledge of how hard sales people work at these conferences.
Sales people are the ones manning the booths and engaging with
the attendees during the lunch and other breaks. They often have
very little time to take break. They are also up early taking
clients to breakfast, holding meetings, manning the booths,
meeting with clients during the cocktail hour and often having
to take clients out to dinner and then evening entertainment.
One of the most mentally and physically exhausting weeks of my
life was when I was in IT Sales and having to work the Comdex
conference in the early 90s. Sales People do often look like the
"pretty, shiny, happy people" because they are supposed to be
happy and engaging all the time... when they really just want to
go sit down, call their kids, and not have the same darn
conversation for the 70th time that day.
#Post#: 79281--------------------------------------------------
Re: From Reddit: Etiquette situation-people cutting and people o
bjecting
By: TootsNYC Date: May 11, 2023, 1:01 pm
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I'm so influenced by living in NYC, where we really try hard to
avoid the crazy.
#Post#: 79291--------------------------------------------------
Re: From Reddit: Etiquette situation-people cutting and people o
bjecting
By: Gellchom Date: May 14, 2023, 8:31 am
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Even here in Israel, where everybody speaks up all the time
about everything, especially lines (“There’s a line!” is
frequently taught in Hebrew classes), I never see anyone acting
like this poster did. Maybe one person might say something once,
but that’s it.
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