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#Post#: 61--------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Never Al
one) Combination
By: Jday1106 Date: June 18, 2018, 10:03 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Alright ladies we're going to go ahead and combine the last two
chapters in part 1. Please make your posts by Monday (June 25),
Monday is when we start part 2 with chapter 7.
So both of these two chapters are similar in the sense that it
discusses difficulties that some mothers face while raising
their children and how important it is to take care of yourself
in the process. The chapters touched on adoption, foster care,
disabilities/illnesses, divorce, deaths, etc. Whether you are a
mother raising your children with your husband by your side or a
single mother, the chapter discussed some difficulties that
mothers face in both scenarios. If after reading these two
chapters you felt like you connected with one of these scenarios
please post about it; otherwise, just post about your thoughts
on the topics of mothers in these scenarios. You don't have to
post on each scenario but maybe on the ones or one that stood
out most to you or that you feel you connected with.
#Post#: 62--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Neve
r Alone) Combination
By: Birdie Date: June 25, 2018, 7:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5 Special Circumstances
I thought this was a really sweet chapter. I admire parents
that are able to adopt or foster children, especially children
with special needs. It takes a really special person to be able
to handle all that comes with that responsibility. I loved the
quote from Mother Teresa, “Do not think that love, in order to
be genuine, has to be extraordinary.” I think we can apply this
to just being a Mom. Sometimes we think we have to do something
really special to show our love for our children, but really it
just needs to be genuine and consistent.
When I listened to Lindsey’s youtube channel on this Chapter she
mentioned another youtuber – “This Gathered Nest.” I checked it
out and I am in love with them. They are a very special couple
and have a very special and unique family. They have two
biological daughters, one boy adopted from Congo (I think that’s
right), one boy adopted from the US and a girl (with downs
syndrome) adopted from China. “I want fried chicken!!” They
also have a set of twins from Embryo Adoption. She carried
them, but they are left overs that someone didn’t use when doing
“in vitro.” I had never heard of that. Anyway, I find them
very loving parents and those kids are really lucky to have them
as parents.
Chapter 6 – You’re Never Alone
I think the thing I took away from this is remembering how hard
it was when I was a single parent and only 19 – yikes! Very
scary. I know how important it was for me to be surrounded by
my family who helped me tremendously. Luckily I found my
“knight in shining armor” who joined both of us and never looked
back. But, I agree with the author in that it’s very important
to ask for help when you need it, lean on your friends and
family, and also make sure to take care of yourself. If you are
not taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to be the best
parent for your kids.
#Post#: 64--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Neve
r Alone) Combination
By: Jday1106 Date: June 25, 2018, 8:34 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
So after reading these two chapters the biggest thing I took
away from them was how extremely important it is to ask for help
and to make sure you are taking a little time for yourself. The
closest that I can even come to relating to any of these issues
is having Andrew be out of town for work right now. I am home
alone Monday through Friday and have Andrew home Saturday and
Sunday. I not only work full time but also have numerous
responsibilities around the house I have to handle and on top of
that I am having to make sure to handle Andrew's
responsibilities also. This of course could seem so minimum to
others who have children but for me it definitely gets
difficult, more so on my work days. I have to make sure to prep
for my lunches and dinners before I start my stretch of work
days, and when I come home from work (which after a 12 hour work
day there isn't much time left over) I have to come home to
taking care of little George, feeding Andrew's fish and corals,
and then taking care of myself which consists of eating dinner
and showering. By the time all this is done it's already time
for bed and I usually get no me time to just unwind. I've had to
learn to prioritize and be okay with not accomplishing
everything I want to accomplish in the day. I've had to learn to
just let the kitchen go on my work days and get to it on an off
day (that is a hard one for me). I think rain on a work day is a
blessing because I don't have to come home and add watering my
plants or the grass to my after work to do list. I have
definitely had to learn to ask for help and rely on other people
which for me is difficult. Luckily I have amazing neighbors that
help out with George on my work days and help out with yard work
when I'm too busy working and unable to handle it myself. I
couldn't even imagine being a single mother with a husband out
of time or no husband at all. I also know how important it is to
take some time for yourself to just unwind and relax and have a
good time, it's healthy and it keeps you going after a crazy
week.
#Post#: 65--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Neve
r Alone) Combination
By: mnlepage328 Date: June 25, 2018, 9:48 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Not too long of a reply here! But I liked these chapters. It was
interesting to read about people who adopt and also who raise
children with special needs! Matt has a cousin who has three
biological children,as well as a little girl adopted from
Chicago, and two boys from somewhere in Africa. I know they have
some special struggles, but they do such a good job of raising
those kiddos. This chapter made me think of them a lot! I would
love to be able to adopt and open my home up to a child in need
one day. Anyways, I loved reading these perspectives.
As far as single parenting goes, man I have respect for all of
the single mothers out there. And also the military mothers who
are basically single moms half of the year. It really does take
a village, even with both partners, but even more so for single
moms. I sometimes get frustrated just taking care of Opie when
matt is gone like Jen mentioned when Andrew is gone, so that is
also how I related to this chapter. I 100% know that a child is
harder than a dog, but still! Lol
#Post#: 66--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Neve
r Alone) Combination
By: MommaAshley Date: June 26, 2018, 9:21 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Birdie link=topic=7.msg62#msg62 date=1529974469]
Chapter 5 Special Circumstances
I thought this was a really sweet chapter. I admire parents
that are able to adopt or foster children, especially children
with special needs. It takes a really special person to be able
to handle all that comes with that responsibility. I loved the
quote from Mother Teresa, “Do not think that love, in order to
be genuine, has to be extraordinary.” I think we can apply this
to just being a Mom. Sometimes we think we have to do something
really special to show our love for our children, but really it
just needs to be genuine and consistent.
When I listened to Lindsey’s youtube channel on this Chapter she
mentioned another youtuber – “This Gathered Nest.” I checked it
out and I am in love with them. They are a very special couple
and have a very special and unique family. They have two
biological daughters, one boy adopted from Congo (I think that’s
right), one boy adopted from the US and a girl (with downs
syndrome) adopted from China. “I want fried chicken!!” They
also have a set of twins from Embryo Adoption. She carried
them, but they are left overs that someone didn’t use when doing
“in vitro.” I had never heard of that. Anyway, I find them
very loving parents and those kids are really lucky to have them
as parents.
Chapter 6 – You’re Never Alone
I think the thing I took away from this is remembering how hard
it was when I was a single parent and only 19 – yikes! Very
scary. I know how important it was for me to be surrounded by
my family who helped me tremendously. Luckily I found my
“knight in shining armor” who joined both of us and never looked
back. But, I agree with the author in that it’s very important
to ask for help when you need it, lean on your friends and
family, and also make sure to take care of yourself. If you are
not taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to be the best
parent for your kids.
[/quote]
I'm so grateful for Nana & Pepaw and then for Dad. I know the
two of us started off live together, just us, but that wasn't
the plan for your life, or plan. I can't imagine what life might
have been like, one small change in our history would not have
us here today. I'm thankful for your strength and maturity even
at 19.
#Post#: 67--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Neve
r Alone) Combination
By: MommaAshley Date: June 26, 2018, 9:22 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Jday1106 link=topic=7.msg64#msg64 date=1529976871]
So after reading these two chapters the biggest thing I took
away from them was how extremely important it is to ask for help
and to make sure you are taking a little time for yourself. The
closest that I can even come to relating to any of these issues
is having Andrew be out of town for work right now. I am home
alone Monday through Friday and have Andrew home Saturday and
Sunday. I not only work full time but also have numerous
responsibilities around the house I have to handle and on top of
that I am having to make sure to handle Andrew's
responsibilities also. This of course could seem so minimum to
others who have children but for me it definitely gets
difficult, more so on my work days. I have to make sure to prep
for my lunches and dinners before I start my stretch of work
days, and when I come home from work (which after a 12 hour work
day there isn't much time left over) I have to come home to
taking care of little George, feeding Andrew's fish and corals,
and then taking care of myself which consists of eating dinner
and showering. By the time all this is done it's already time
for bed and I usually get no me time to just unwind. I've had to
learn to prioritize and be okay with not accomplishing
everything I want to accomplish in the day. I've had to learn to
just let the kitchen go on my work days and get to it on an off
day (that is a hard one for me). I think rain on a work day is a
blessing because I don't have to come home and add watering my
plants or the grass to my after work to do list. I have
definitely had to learn to ask for help and rely on other people
which for me is difficult. Luckily I have amazing neighbors that
help out with George on my work days and help out with yard work
when I'm too busy working and unable to handle it myself. I
couldn't even imagine being a single mother with a husband out
of time or no husband at all. I also know how important it is to
take some time for yourself to just unwind and relax and have a
good time, it's healthy and it keeps you going after a crazy
week.
[/quote]
I think once you and Andrew grow your family, this little daily
tasks will seem less important. I think for you, your focus will
change and you will have to re-direct where you need help.
#Post#: 68--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Neve
r Alone) Combination
By: MommaAshley Date: June 26, 2018, 9:23 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=mnlepage328 link=topic=7.msg65#msg65
date=1529981307]
Not too long of a reply here! But I liked these chapters. It was
interesting to read about people who adopt and also who raise
children with special needs! Matt has a cousin who has three
biological children,as well as a little girl adopted from
Chicago, and two boys from somewhere in Africa. I know they have
some special struggles, but they do such a good job of raising
those kiddos. This chapter made me think of them a lot! I would
love to be able to adopt and open my home up to a child in need
one day. Anyways, I loved reading these perspectives.
As far as single parenting goes, man I have respect for all of
the single mothers out there. And also the military mothers who
are basically single moms half of the year. It really does take
a village, even with both partners, but even more so for single
moms. I sometimes get frustrated just taking care of Opie when
matt is gone like Jen mentioned when Andrew is gone, so that is
also how I related to this chapter. I 100% know that a child is
harder than a dog, but still! Lol
[/quote]
Word! Will was deployed for 12 months, I was basically a single
mother of two and the readjustment period was very difficult,
almost like starting a new relationship. Like Jen, can't wait
for you to grow your family and see how you change as a woman
and a mom, and of course, a wife!
#Post#: 69--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Neve
r Alone) Combination
By: MommaAshley Date: June 26, 2018, 9:33 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hey guys, sorry this post is so late. I haven't been good with
my time management. I have 4,358 kids who need me all the time,
lol!
While I do not have any children with special needs, I did at
one time have a child with a life threatening illness. I think
this could almost be worse. You never know if they will get
better or worse. When B was sick, our priorities changed. All
the little things we stressed about just sort of disappeared and
we were faced with new challenges and struggles. As a mom, my
main focus was to care for B. At the time, I had two other
children and a husband who worked full-time. I had to leave them
behind and move to a brand new place. I was thrown into this
world without being asked how I felt about it, there was no
control, so I subconsciously controlled the things I could. Like
my diet, weight, hair, and my attitude. I was very particular
and protective of who came into contact with B, that I could
control. However, over time, her illness took a toll and I had a
breakdown. I didn't ask for help, but her team of doctors could
see me spiraling and they loved me just as they loved her. I
began to seek help and could feel certain burdens lifted.
I could go on and on about that time of my life, but I think
it's safe to say that I learned a few things.
On the topic of adopting children with special needs, I'm still
not sure where I stand on that. I know that when tested as a
parent, I have "passed" the test and in a sense, been the most
successful. However, if adoption were in my cards, I would not
discriminate, hopefully that helps answer that question.
When it comes to asking for help, I still do not really do this
outside my marriage. I have learned to take a time-out. Will and
I both have really improved on this. We respect that time alone
to just breathe is necessary to prevent a burn out. No matter
how strong you are, you need help. No one is designed to do this
life alone.
#Post#: 70--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Neve
r Alone) Combination
By: Birdie Date: June 26, 2018, 12:55 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Jday1106 link=topic=7.msg64#msg64 date=1529976871]
So after reading these two chapters the biggest thing I took
away from them was how extremely important it is to ask for help
and to make sure you are taking a little time for yourself. The
closest that I can even come to relating to any of these issues
is having Andrew be out of town for work right now. I am home
alone Monday through Friday and have Andrew home Saturday and
Sunday. I not only work full time but also have numerous
responsibilities around the house I have to handle and on top of
that I am having to make sure to handle Andrew's
responsibilities also. This of course could seem so minimum to
others who have children but for me it definitely gets
difficult, more so on my work days. I have to make sure to prep
for my lunches and dinners before I start my stretch of work
days, and when I come home from work (which after a 12 hour work
day there isn't much time left over) I have to come home to
taking care of little George, feeding Andrew's fish and corals,
and then taking care of myself which consists of eating dinner
and showering. By the time all this is done it's already time
for bed and I usually get no me time to just unwind. I've had to
learn to prioritize and be okay with not accomplishing
everything I want to accomplish in the day. I've had to learn to
just let the kitchen go on my work days and get to it on an off
day (that is a hard one for me). I think rain on a work day is a
blessing because I don't have to come home and add watering my
plants or the grass to my after work to do list. I have
definitely had to learn to ask for help and rely on other people
which for me is difficult. Luckily I have amazing neighbors that
help out with George on my work days and help out with yard work
when I'm too busy working and unable to handle it myself. I
couldn't even imagine being a single mother with a husband out
of time or no husband at all. I also know how important it is to
take some time for yourself to just unwind and relax and have a
good time, it's healthy and it keeps you going after a crazy
week.
[/quote]
Enjoyed reading your post Jen! I think you are doing great
handling everything while Andrew is gone and I agree you need to
make sure to take care of yourself too. Also, good job at
asking for help when you need it:)
#Post#: 71--------------------------------------------------
Re: Chapter 5 (Special Circumstances) and Chapter 6 (You're Neve
r Alone) Combination
By: Birdie Date: June 26, 2018, 12:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=mnlepage328 link=topic=7.msg65#msg65
date=1529981307]
Not too long of a reply here! But I liked these chapters. It was
interesting to read about people who adopt and also who raise
children with special needs! Matt has a cousin who has three
biological children,as well as a little girl adopted from
Chicago, and two boys from somewhere in Africa. I know they have
some special struggles, but they do such a good job of raising
those kiddos. This chapter made me think of them a lot! I would
love to be able to adopt and open my home up to a child in need
one day. Anyways, I loved reading these perspectives.
As far as single parenting goes, man I have respect for all of
the single mothers out there. And also the military mothers who
are basically single moms half of the year. It really does take
a village, even with both partners, but even more so for single
moms. I sometimes get frustrated just taking care of Opie when
matt is gone like Jen mentioned when Andrew is gone, so that is
also how I related to this chapter. I 100% know that a child is
harder than a dog, but still! Lol
[/quote]
Loved your post Molly! I agree that military wives or husbands
left alone to take care of the kids and the household duties can
be very challenging! We sometimes forget about the people left
behind when our military is deployed. It's good to know they
have programs and groups to help with that. And hey... dogs can
be very time consuming :)
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