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#Post#: 111--------------------------------------------------
NaNoWriMo Story
By: thatonegayauthor Date: November 4, 2019, 1:34 pm
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Hi! I was wondering if you guys could let me know what you think
of my NaNoWriMo story so far:
The first morning bell went off, rousing Elaina from
her sleep.
"Ugh." Elaina groaned, and rolled out of bed, rubbing
the sleep from her eyes.
She stumbled over to the chest at the end of her bed,
and pulled out a light green tunic, and brown pants. The stone
floor was cold on her bare feet, and she pulled on a pair of
worn leather boots. She stretched, opened the door, and walked
into the small kitchen. There was a wood stove, and a couple
cupboards that contain her family's cups, bowls, plates,
silverware, and food.
She opened up the second cupboard, grabbing herself a
plate and a knife. She moved to the other cupboard, grabbing a
loaf of bread, and some cheese, her hands moving from memory.
She lit the fire, and toasted the bread over it, the cheese
melting over the hard bread. Elaina ate the bread, melted cheese
sticking to the side of her mouth, and then grabbed the bucket
that was sitting by the door, and went outside. She grabbed the
railing that would lead her to the well, the lanterns around her
house dim. She licked the cheese off of her face, and then
walked towards the well. She tied the rope to the bucket's
handle, and lowered it down into the well, the splash of the
bucket hitting the water echoing off of the stone walls of the
well. Elaina pulled the now full bucket up, and carried it back
inside.
Ethan, her twin brother was sitting at the small
table, a letter in one hand, and a candle in the other. His eyes
were half-closed, as if he still hadn't woken up.
"Ethan? Are you almost ready? The festival is starting
soon"
"Yeah, yeah." Ethan replied, standing up, and stuffing
the letter into his pocket. He was wearing heavy leather boots,
a dark red shirt, and light brown pants. He grabbed an apple,
and a slice of the bread, and walked outside, motioning to
Elaina to follow. Their mother had already left to for work at
the archives. All work was suspended for the rising of the sun,
archive workers, scientists and council members had to continue
work, recording the rising of the sun again, making sure that
nothing had changed from the previous ones.
In Non Sol, the sun rises for one week, every six
months. It makes growing plants, telling time, and traveling
throughout the city difficult, but there are jobs dedicated to
making sure that the lanterns stay lit, farms grow lots of
plants that don't need a lot of light, and the bells go off
every hour.
People were preparing for the annual festival to
celebrate the rising of the sun. Lanterns lit up the town
square, casting eerie shadows across people's faces. Banners
advertising the festival were on every street lamp. The streets
were dark, the flames in the lanterns burning low, but nobody
bothered to relight them. The sun would rise soon.
They walked around the festival, thoroughly enjoying
the smell of popped corn, poultry roasted on sticks, and a
variety of fruits dipped in honey, cream or chocolate. Vendors
advertised jewelry, clothes and other items.
They slowly reached the center of the festival, where
everyone had gathered in front of main hall. The nine council
members were settled on the front steps, the archive workers
standing behind them. Elaina caught a glimpse of her mother who
was chatting with Lewis Windsor, one of the council members. He
wore a white button up shirt, black pants and a dark blue
waistcoat. He had light brown hair, with streaks of grey, and
his skin was pale.
"Elaina, have you seen Mae yet?" Ethan asked, standing
next to one of his good friends, Jack Hale. He was on the
shorter side, but he was built well, with strong arms and tan
skin from working in the fields.
"No, not yet." She responded, eyes flitting back to
her mother. She was gone, which was odd, but Elaina's attention
was drawn to someone else in the crowd.
"Mae! Over here!" Ethan shouted, his eyes bright. Mae
hurried over, her long black hair falling over her shoulders in
tight curls. Her skin was a dark chocolate, and her eyes were
even darker. Mae Thurio, daughter of Council member Dean Thurio.
She was wearing a yellow shirt that contrasted her dark skin
nicely, paired with black trousers.
#Post#: 112--------------------------------------------------
Re: NaNoWriMo Story
By: thatonegayauthor Date: November 4, 2019, 1:36 pm
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It's not much so far, but I would like to know what I could
improve upon
#Post#: 113--------------------------------------------------
Re: NaNoWriMo Story
By: Arcturus Date: November 4, 2019, 5:31 pm
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Maybe try a panning introduction. The best way I can explain
that term is like when you give an overview of the setting,
preferably using a ridiculous amount of figurative language, and
extreme detain on relatively unimportant pieces of information
in such a way as to suggest a British accent.
#Post#: 119--------------------------------------------------
Re: NaNoWriMo Story
By: thatonegayauthor Date: November 4, 2019, 10:55 pm
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[quote author=Arcturus link=topic=42.msg113#msg113
date=1572910277]
Maybe try a panning introduction. The best way I can explain
that term is like when you give an overview of the setting,
preferably using a ridiculous amount of figurative language, and
extreme detain on relatively unimportant pieces of information
in such a way as to suggest a British accent.
[/quote]
Haha okay!
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