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#Post#: 3318--------------------------------------------------
Re: UFO [Approved]
By: bob123f Date: January 11, 2013, 2:08 pm
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A long time ago, one hot summer night, me and my friends were
taking a brief stroll through a nearby park. We could hear the
soft splashing sound of the creek nearby, and the buzz of the
mayflies was the sound of meat being fried on a pan. We
proceeded to walk, and came across a small, wooden bridge
bisecting the creek. I looked at my watch, 7:30, it said. I told
my friends that it was time to go eat dinner. Joe said "just a
few more minutes, I mean come on, we're nearing the area were
that dude went missing." "You mean that old guy in the '50s?" "I
thought that was just some junk that the tabloids made up."
"Well, my pa said that in those woods over there was were he was
'posed to have gone missing." Lance: "Hey Matthew, I dare you to
go in there." Matt, being the most anxious of my friends,
declined. "Aw, come on, don't be such a wuss" Matt: "Okay, I-I
guess I could..." Me: "I'm not so sure that this is a good idea
guys." But Matthew was already 10 yards away from the thick
woods. And that's when we saw it. It came over the trees of the
woods, and I screamed to Matt to RUN. Matt was petrified. He
stood there as the thing came closer... closer... The shrieks
and screams were unbearable. Matt was sucked into the strange
craft, and it flew off at an amazing speed. The chaos that
followed... Matthew, my best friend... This story is true.
#Post#: 3327--------------------------------------------------
Re: UFO [Pending Application]
By: blackmustangs075 Date: January 11, 2013, 2:25 pm
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Hmm... This is a very tough decision. You used very good
descriptions and it all made sense, but it was not set up right.
Each quote is supposed to be indented, and starts a new
paragraph. After the quote, until the next quote is made, the
story continues (Unless a new paragraph is being made). For
example;
"Hey, Jack," Andy said to his best friend.
"Sup, Andy. You goin' to the party tonight?" he asked me. I
shuffled my feet and looked down at the wooden floor beneath me.
"I can't, bro. Having girl issues..." I sighed softly. I
looked up at him. He started laughing, mocking me.
"Ha, yeah right. Everyone knows you don't have a
girlfriend..." he mocked me. He grinned at my lifeless face.
"That's the point," I murmured quietly.
I think you get the point. If you can follow this, you can
become a writer. You are not denied yet. Write a different story
and Inbox me with it. Include dialogue, and write it the right
way. You have no wait time.
P.S. I don't have girl issues, it was just an example. :D
#Post#: 3340--------------------------------------------------
Re: UFO
By: bob123f Date: January 11, 2013, 3:03 pm
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Very well, I shall PM you a follow-up application sometime in
the future.
#Post#: 3346--------------------------------------------------
Re: UFO [Denied]
By: blackmustangs075 Date: January 11, 2013, 4:35 pm
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You failed to use quotes properly all 4 times. Denied, sorry.
1/25/13 is your next entry minimum
#Post#: 3407--------------------------------------------------
Re: UFO [Accepted]
By: blackmustangs075 Date: January 12, 2013, 8:17 pm
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^^ This has recently changed. Congrats to Bob123f, our newest
writer!
#Post#: 3412--------------------------------------------------
Re: UFO [Approved]
By: supercool08 Date: January 12, 2013, 9:20 pm
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Congrats Bob123f! :D :)
#Post#: 3413--------------------------------------------------
Re: UFO [Approved]
By: whtever Date: January 13, 2013, 4:32 am
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congratulations bob! ;D are 3rd writer!
#Post#: 3439--------------------------------------------------
Re: UFO [Approved]
By: teamsatisfaction Date: January 13, 2013, 1:33 pm
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Congrats, Partner! :) ;)
#Post#: 4633--------------------------------------------------
Re: UFO [Approved]
By: daflowergirl Date: January 28, 2013, 7:18 pm
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woooo bob!
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