MX
2014-12-13
The most recent column in Savage Love had a theme featuring letters on the
subject of gender-neutrality and genderfluidity. You've probably come across
the term "genderqueer" conceptually even if you're not aware of people within
your own life to whom the title might be applied: people who might consider
themselves to be of no gender, or of multiple genders, or of variable gender,
of a non-binary gender, or trans (gender's a complex subject, yo!).
IMG A purple circle.
YOU CAN USE MX. FOR ME IF YOU LIKE...
For about the last four or five years, I've been able to gradually managed to
change my honorific title (where one is required) in many places from the
traditional and assumed "Mr." to the gender-neutral "Mx." Initially, it was
only possible to do this where the option was provided to enter a title of
one's choosing - you know: where there's tickboxes and an "Other:" option -
but increasingly, I've seen it presented as one of the default options,
alongside Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., and the like. As a title, Mx. is gaining
traction.
IMG "Mx Dan Q" on HMRC.
I'm not genderqueer, mind. I'm cisgender and male: a well-understood and
popular gender that's even got a convenient and widely-used word for it:
"man". My use of "Mx." in a variety of places is based not upon what I
consider my gender to be but upon the fact that my gender shouldn't matter.
HMRC, pictured above, is a great example: they only communicate with me by
post and by email (so there's no identification advantage in implying a gender
as which I'm likely to be presenting), and what gender I am damn well
shouldn't have any impact on how much tax I pay or how I pay it anyway: it's
redundant information! So why demand I provide a title at all?
IMG Scottish Power's "Title" options. Showing: Mayoress, Monsignor, Mother, Owner/Occupier, Police Comissioner, Prince, Princess, Professor, Rabbi, Reverend, Reverend Father, Reverend Mother, Sergeant, Sheikh, Sir, Sister, Viscount, Viscountess, Wing Commander, Abbot...
I don't object too much to being "Mr.", of course, if it makes things easier.
Just the other day, while placing an order for some Christmas supplies, a
butcher in Oxford's covered market referred to me as "Mr. Q". Which is
absolutely fine, because that's the title (and gender) by which he'll identify
me when I turn up the week after next to pick up some meat.
...BUT I'D PREFER YOU DIDN'T USE A TITLE FOR ME AT ALL!
I'd prefer not to use an honorific title at all: I fail to see what it adds to
my name or my identity to put "Mr." in it! But where it's (a) for some-reason
required (often because programmers have a blind spot for things like names
and titles), and (b) my gender shouldn't matter, don't be surprised if I put
"Mx." in your form.
And if after all of that you don't offer me that option, know that I'm going
to pick something stupid just to mess with your data. That's Wing Commander
Dan Q's promise.
LINKS
HTML "Gender Solid" (10 December 2014), on Savage Love
HTML Sexplanations video, "The Gender Map"
HTML Wikipedia article about the gender-neutral honorific title "Mx."
HTML Patrick McKenzie's excellent blog post, "Falsehoods Programmers Believe About Names"