Subj : Re: You will be replaced by a shell script...
To   : Poindexter Fortran
From : Deavmi
Date : Sat Nov 19 2016 21:20:44

On 2016-01-29 09:21 PM, Poindexter Fortran wrote:
>
> grabbed from the net...
>
> An ex-coworker of mine has posted this gem to a russian bash.org, so I 
decided
> to translate this and steal all the credit post this to my blog under his
> permission.
>
> xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was
> literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves
> Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If 
something
> - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to
> automate that.
>
> xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"
>
> xxx: You're gonna love this
>
> xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife
> (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly.
> Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the
> server after 9pm with his login.
>
> xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our
> clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords
> are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the 
staging
> database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be 
careful
> next time".
>
> xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends
> automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a
> random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are 
no
> interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.
>
> xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17
> seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no 
frikin
> idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and
> running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this
> thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!)
> seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes
> to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.
>
> xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
>
>
> For those who are saying "Scripts or it didn't happen",
>
> https://github.com/narkoz/hacker-scripts
>
>
> Share and Enjoy,
>
> --pF
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>  * Origin: Sent from my iPhone (46:1/115)
>
This is one of the best posts I, only been here for a few days now, have 
seen.
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