Subj : Daryl update To : JOE MACKEY From : Daryl Stout Date : Tue Aug 13 2019 15:48:00 Joe, JM> When my mother died in 1986, she had been in ill health but still it was JM>unexpected. My brother (from her first marriage) took over with all the JM>plans, etc. (He had a friend who was a funeral director). JM> I was left with nothing to do. My brother wanted nothing to do with the Power Of Attorney, getting her assets into a Miller Trust, or the funeral plans. He lived for the present, and for himself, and right now, he is a basket case. JM> I wanted to keep in working but the boss had me take several days off. The day my Grandma died, I went to work, but I couldn't get the image of seeing her corpse still in bed (the county coroner and sheriff had certified the death as "natural causes"), out of my mind. I left for home shortly after lunch, as I was in a zombi state. I took the day of the funeral off. JM> The only thing I did have to do deal with the graveside services. No JM>funeral, no viewing, nothing. In my church there is a set service with two JM>options: Traditional language and modern language. My brother made 3 requests: 1) Both the viewing and the service be during the week, not on the weekend. 2) The viewing be from 6pm to 8pm, and the service at noon. 3) The service be "short and sweet". I told him I would honor his request. He said he likely won't even be able to look into the casket. JM>> The reality of her death hasn't hit me full JM>> force yet, but I know it will sooner or later. JM> And at unexpected times. JM> Esp, those times you are alone. It did that 7 months after my late wife died. I had an apartment inspection coming up, and a bunch of other stress, and I ended up crying like a baby for a half hour. Yes, real men, do cry. JM> I can usually keep my emotions under control when around people. But JM>there will a word, a saying, a song, something will happen when alone. At least I have all the wonderful memories that no one can take away. JM> Those might be something everyone else might enjoy reading. JM> If nothing else add some traffic. :) OK, I'll add it. I know you have a "prohibition" on preaching and proseletysing" (sp?), but this is just a verse. My favories are still the church bulletin bloopers. Along that line, I saw a hilarious story on Facebook the other day, and it came over the weekend, when I needed a laugh. This female church organist was an excellent musician...but she was rather "well endowed", with huge cleavage breasts. It was giving many of the men of the church "hormonal fits"...and many of the church women were absolutely appalled. Yet, they had never had such an excellent organist. Well, one day, one of the church ladies took her aside, and told her that what she needed to do was to "Mash up several perisimmons, and rub them and the juice all over her breasts and nipples. But do NOT lick, touch, or suck on them, as they are so sour, or your mouth will pucker up. The next Sunday at church, when the minister came to the pulpit, he said "Dew to thircumstanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday". On a side note, I saw a T-shirt once, that had this ocelot on it, who looked like he had been sucking on persimmons, as his mouth was all puckered up. The shirt noted "I have PMS, and a handgun. Any questions??" . JM>> On another note, the local paper only allows for 50 words in an JM>> obituary...after that, it's $1 A WORD!! JM> Holy cow! I said something else when I saw the size of that bladder stone on the cystoscopy. The surgery went rather well. They blasted the stone to smithereens, then irrigated the bladder to flush it out. But, combine that with a massive dose of Lasix, and drinking 10 pitchers of ice water, I was filling up the male urinals on an hourly basis for 12 hours. As a result, I got no sleep at all last night. JM> I see obits in the paper that are who, what, where, when, and that's it JM>and others that go on and on an on. These include nearly every relative the JM>person had up to fifth cousins 20 times removed, or so it seems. Sort of like on Facebook, where they tell of their days activities, all the way down to the intracacies of their bowel habits. :P JM>> his son were working on it, his offspring became known as "son of JM>> obituary editor". JM> LOL Thought you'd like that one. :) JM> It was a hot, muggy day in late June, not a bit of a breeze. There were JM>few flowers, but someone sent a huge display of roses, the kind that are JM>displayed on a tripod. The day my Dad was buried in the military veterans cemetery, it was freezing cold (early February), with temperatures in the upper 20s and wind chills in the low teens. We about froze to death, and thought our butts would freeze to the chairs. JM> I leaned over to my 12 year older brother and said, "You know she never JM>liked roses" and it was all he could do to keep from laughing. I'm going to share some funny moments at the funeral, as you have the wonderful memories. JM> (There's a story where good friends George Burns and Jack Benny were at a JM>concert, with George in the row ahead of Jack. He leaned over said to JM>George "You know it would be rude if you started laughing when (whoever it w JM>started singing". When the wom Somehow, your train of thought jumped the tracks. :P JM> When she went into the home she was bad off and I guess he expected her JM>to die any day. I'm surprised she lasted as long as she did. But, when the nursing home staff advised me to put her into hospice, as her body was shutting down, she didn't last 3 1/2 weeks. JM> I always managed, no matter how carefully I went back around the empty JM>place and looked, when I got to my new place stuff had disappeared. That's the way it works. JM> Mine wanted to do it all. I was given the burial service plans as a JM>bone. (He's not interested in church in any way). Of course with his frien JM>in the business, I imagine he got a good deal, but he never said anything JM>about it. Neither is my brother. Admittedly, there are a lot of hypocrites out there, but I'll only have to answer for what I've done. JM> I have donated my body to a med school. Provided its intact its accepted. JM>Otherwise its cremation and I could care less what is done with the ashes. JM>The body is merely a shell for the soul, which has moved on. Sort of like the late Christian comedian Grady Nutt. He noted that "The last T is important. Otherwise, I'd be like the rest of you". He added that upon his passing, they were to note "There's one less Nutt on Earth, and one more nut in Heaven". JM> That would overload any system. JM> We have viaducts under train tracks that flood all the time. And there JM>are two main streets that flood as well. Those railroad overpasses are notorious for flooding under them. JM> People always blame the mayor at the time for the flooding but I always JM>say drains can only handle so much water at one time. And the streets are a JM>the bottom of a rise where water collects. Exactly. Gravity is a strong force. JM> Our biggest problems with drainage is trash people leave on the street JM>and all that paper and plastic get caught in the grate or the pipes and that JM>causes water to back up and flood as well. Then in the fall, it's all the fallen leaves that gather in there, and clog the drains. JM> I don't mind a dry heat, but hate humidity. So far this summer we JM>haven't had a lot of humidity. It is brutal out there today (Tuesday). A cold front is to move through the state (this time of year, the term "cold front" is relative. JM> I will be (most likely) working out of doors in a couple of weeks with JM>traffic control when the college students move back and that will be when he JM>and high humidity hit. Just on those days. The ones before and after will JM>be ok. ==sigh== Be careful. Folks are dropping like flies in the heat...never mind these "parents" who leave their kids and pets in the cars...that's a whole new can of worms. Daryl === þ OLX 1.53 þ All wiyht. Rho sritkhed mg kegtaps awoumd? --- SBBSecho 3.08-Win32 * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33) .