Subj : Re: Todays Bible Verse To : Barry Martin From : Daryl Stout Date : Wed Sep 28 2022 11:16:00 Barry, DS> Today is Monday September 26, 2022. DS> Proberbs 28:13 He that covers his sins shall not prosper. DS> But, he that confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy. BM> Well I know it's "pronoun" and "adverb", but what's a .... It took a few times looking over the reply before I saw the error... must be from the Bible with First Hezekiah in it, and the verse "Thou Shalt Not Park Here" . Darn fat finger syndrome...but without fat fingers, how do you pick up the food and the silverware??!! It just proves that you need a second set of eyes when you prepare a document, or you'll never see the errors!! Also, I remember all the deals with verb conjugation and grammar back in high school 45 years ago. My 12th grade English teacher was a pastor's wife, and she had an embarrassing experience with one of the kids during this grammar exercise. The deal covered present tense, past tense, and past participle. As a side note, English is the hardest language to learn, especially with all these grammar rules...but those of us who speak it wonder what all the fuss is about. Anyway, the 2 examples I'll use are as follows: 1) Bring (as bringing something). It should be bring, brought, have brought...but some feel it's bring, brang, brung. 2) Dim (as in low light). It should be dim, dimmed, have dimmed...but, some feel it's dim, dam, dumb. I can understand why the teacher would put her head on the desk, and start sobbing. The other thing is for the church bulletin bloopers. They mean well, but the lack of proofreading makes it seem like someting else. While these have been posted before, here are several that come to mind. I guess if the church gets dull, you should have some of these...and, this in case "someone is asking for a friend" (add your own emotions and comments). And, yes...these are actual items that were in church bulletins...they are NOT being made up!! 1) We'll have a foreign missionary come to our church for tonight's worship service. Come hear Bertha Belch from Africa. 2) Were Adam and Eve really naked in the Garden of Eden?? Come see for yourself!! 3) For those of you who have children, and don't know it...we have a nursery downstairs. 4) All women wishing to become pregnant, please see the pastor in his study. 5) The pancake breakfast will be Saturday morning at 8am. All women wishing to provide milk, please come early. 6) We've had so many babies born in the church this past year, that we'll have baptism at the front and back of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. 7) The meeting of the Women's Temperance Union will be on Wednesday morning at 11am in the Fellowship Hall. Drinks will be served. 8) The women of the church are casting off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the Fellowship Hall Friday night at 7pm. 9) The Youth Drama group will be performing Macbeth Friday night. Everyone is invited to attend this tragedy. 10) This being Easter Sunday, we'll ask Mrs. Bee to come forward, and lay an egg on the altar. 11) There will be a lunch on Wednesday after the morning Bible Study. Everyone is invited to eat after the BS is done. 12) We will be replacing the carpeting in the sancutary soon. All those wishing to do something on the carpet, please come forward at the end of the service. 13) The popular Dunk Tank at our Fall Festival will be sponsored by Waste Management. 14) The Bible is clear -- flee from sexual immortality. 15) The preacher and his wife will visit places that no longer exist. I attended a choir workshop weekend several years ago, and these were used to "break the ice". It all depended on where your mind was at the time...but overall, they were all "clean". Another deal is with the children's sermons. The kids are normally innocent, and you know The Lord had to smile on these, such as: 1) Preacher: What must we do to obtain forgiveness of sin?? Child: First, we have to sin. 2) Preacher: Do you ask the blessing before you eat your meal?? Child: We don't have to. My Mom is such a good cook. 3) Preacher: Does anyone know what a resurrection is?? Child: If you have one for more than 4 hours, you need to call 911. 4) Preacher: We are but dust. Child: What is butt dust?? And, with that, I think I better stop, before I need to do item 1 in the above paragraph again . As a side note, if one reads these and can't smile or laugh...as the late Jerry Clower noted..."go home and look in the mirror, and see what everyone else has been laughing at all these years!!". Daryl .... I avoid things that make me fat: scales, mirrors, photos. === MultiMail/Win v0.52 --- SBBSecho 3.15-Win32 * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (454:1/33) .