******************************************************************************* P I G U L K I an occasional electronic collection of news analysis, press reviews, and humor from/about Poland and the Polish community abroad ****** July 15 1990 ******************************* No. 1 ********************* ____________________________________________________ In this issue: Jurek Pawlowski on the PSL as political force Dave Phillips suggests 9 new zloty banknotes Jurek Klimkowski's Beach Blanket Bulgariana ____________________________________________________ POLITICAL FORCES IN TODAY'S POLAND THE POLISH FOLK PARTY (PSL) {note 1} Roman Bartoszcze is the son of a Solidarnosc activist, who was beaten during the Bydgoszcz provocation in 1981 (Jaruzelski's "ninety peaceful days"). His brother died in mysterious circumstances in the eighties (one of many such deaths at that time). The name Bartoszcze has gained great prestige in the folk movement, and this is one of the reasons he was elected chairman of the newly formed Polish Folk Party (as a unification of the previous ZSL "Odrodzenie" - former communist satellite party, and the PSL "Wilanow" - resurrected by a few surviving prewar PSL activists). Bartoszcze favors an economic policy which would encourage middle-sized family farms, together with the development of a decentralized food processing and distribution industry. He wants to achieve this through guaranteed minimum prices for farm products. Such a policy would be in direct conflict with the "market" policies of Balcerowicz. Bartoszcze argues that these policies have led to layoffs of many small farmers who also worked in the cities, and if this continues, a double urban/rural unemployment crisis will hit Poland. He concedes that larger farms should be promoted, but he wants to achieve this gradually (etapami). Politically the PSL is "center" (as declared by Bartoszcze). Its aim is to attract urban intelligentsia, as well as farmers ("we don't want to be a strictly class party"). The PSL has an alliance with "Solidarnosc"-RI {note 2}, but not with any political parties yet, although there are some talks with the Christian-Democrats , Liberals, and Walesa's "Center" party. Bartoszcze says he wants to form a "strong opposition", rather than run the government, but this is uncertain in the very fluid political situation. The Polish Folk Party has become the strongest formal political party in Poland today. It has over 300 thousand members, with most of the infrastructure inherited from the ZSL. Most of the top ZSL leadership has been purged after unification (and this has been not surprisingly lamented by POLITYKA). POLITYKA seems to treat the PSL very seriously, seeing it as a major political player in the future. It seems that Mazowiecki's failed attempt (thwarted by Walesa) to transform the loose Citizens' Commit- tees (KO), into a political party which would support the "liberal" government programs, was initiated due to the rising threat from the PSL. In fact a Tygodnik Powszechny article prior to the July 1st KO meeting in Warsaw, was basically a manifesto for such a transformation. The PSL has a guaranteed vote from the rural population (30-40% of total population), and more from the urban population, depending on the success of the Balcerowicz plan {Note 3}. This makes the PSL the strongest political party in Poland, and the most serious threat to the Mazowiecki government. Jurek Pawlowski Date:********* _____________________________ Notes: {1} The translation of the name is not easy. PSL: Polskie Stronnictwo Ludowe. Stronnictwo does not mean exactly political party, but this is good enough, I think. "Ludowe" means "folk", not "peasant". "Peasant" in Polish is "chlop". "Peasant's Party" in Polish would be "Partia Chlopska", or "Stronnictwo Chlopskie". -jp {2} "Solidarnosc"-RI: Solidarity/Independent Farmers, sister organization of the Independent Self-Governing Trade Union "Solidarnosc."-eds. {3} The mysterious "independents", who won so many seats in the local elections, turn out to be politically affiliated after all (private communication). In Lodz for example, a group of independents won the majority, but these people each belonged to some party. In this case the Christian Democrats, KPN, and others. The PSL won many seats this way, and so did the SdRP (former commies). This gives the PSL more seats in local councils than was originally thought. -jp ======================================================================= POLITICAL ECONOMY CURRENCY REFORM One simple solution to the monstrous currency-carrying problems in post- inflation Poland is the issuance of new currency. This has been done in the past by that other Polish-speaking nation, Israel, with some success. I have some modest nominations for new bills: THE LECH: equal to 10,000,000 old zlotys unless you have also have a huge ego, then it's worth 10 old zlotys; On the reverse: "Your ego, our prime minister" beneath a sketch of a pair of brass balls. THE GLEMP: a relatively long bill on which one ear is printed on each side, equal to 3,333,333 old zlotys; THE GWIAZDA: equal to 100,000 old zlotys, the best conversion bill but no one will accept it as legal tender; THE WOJCIECH: equal to .003 old zlotys; the only way communism had a chance of perpetuating itself; THE ROBOTNIK: the church opposed issuance of this bill, equivalent to 271828 old zlotys, because of its reverse-side cartoon by Andrzej Krause showing the Primate and an apparatchik walking on the heads of workers. THE ADAM: inspiring words printed on each side. Any five contiguous words make sense, any six nonsense. This bill was originally worth US $10 billion until someone explained to W.Trzeciakowski, Sr that the US would only ship that much in peanuts. Now a collectors item. THE BASIA: Photo of Stoczna Gdansk on reverse, motto "She'll pretend to feed us, we'll pretend not to strike." This bill is found only in the Museum of Good Intentions, ul. Kuronowy, Warsaw, and was never assigned a value. THE SPUDS: Value 3 million old zlotys. Boris Yeltsin rendered with punk hairstyle on front, Spuds MacKenzie on reverse. Motto: IN support of the leading role of the party, with beer kegs in background. THE IMF: A three-piece suited banker proffering a tube of sterile lubricant. Value in old zlotys: dubious. Dave Phillips Date:********* ======================================================================== TRAVEL ENGINEERS AT WORK AND PLAY (Part One: Sins) Near Primorsko, on the Bulgarian Coast, there are two large camping grounds, "Les" and "Briag", the second one is located next to the beach. Actually, "Briag" means a coast, while "Les" means a forest. We stayed at "Briag", that is G. and Friend, my girlfriend and me, and some of our classmates at a safe distance, at "Les". It was summer and time to have fun... every drop of it. I was not very happy, because my typical vacations were away from Poles and Poland, so I tended to despise hard drinking. I also thought that my compatriots are boring and not well travelled, but this time all, except for my girlfriend, were FTiMS, or my classmates from my beloved department. I had some control over them and my best friend was always solidly behind me. What could have gone wrong? Right? We set up our tents at the straight angle, theirs was a "Beldan", yellow and sturdy, ours was a "Tchaika", a lightweight nylon job, with a long foreroom. All things, or as we called them "klamoty", were stashed in our foreroom. Friend and me, we also build a little table, at the apex of the triangle, so that we could have a decent place to eat. Having all our bivouac set up we started generating fun. We would collect lots of unnecessary things, put pneumatic mattresses on our heads and follow the girls to the beach. Only half-way though, because there was a little beer kiosk just where the sand started, so we would stop for a beer or two, get involved in some political discussion with whoever was there. After our talk was over we would continue towards the beach only to find our sweethearts half-fried and mad as Hell. Another time we would swim towards a barge anchored a mile from the beach. There we would climb up and start our investigations of commander Malinowski's whereabouts until the skipper told us to leave. There was so many things we would do that girls started having second thoughts about the whole idea of spending vacations with two best friends. Finally, Friend upon meeting some East-German students, invited them over for a drink. This was supposed to be a friendly "Bruthershaft", but we ended up having some fourteen drunken Germans sleeping in and around our tents. The point was that after we reached the limit that I established before this drinking has begun, our classmates arrived from "Les" and started another round of "Wyborowa". Our Bulgarian neighbors upped the ante with some "Slantchev Briag" and the whole friendliness went out of bounds. My Friend and I stopped at some decent point, but we couldn't stop anybody else except for our girls. In the morning, there was nobody to talk to, Germans were good for nothing, although still very friendly, our classmates were in no shape to talk at all, and G. and E., wouldn't talk to us, period. G. found that someone vomited into her teamaker and told us that this boyscout camp was terminated. We felt very uneasy about the whole thing and tried to accommodate our companions. Later, around 6 PM, they finally agreed that our intentions were not that bad. They told us to clean the mess, sober up our "friends". As an additional punishment, the girls decided to put on a good show, got dressed in their best clothes, took some money and went to an exclusive cafe nearby. We were so proud of them. In the evening Sun, they both looked so attractive. G. slim in her tight pants, E. so sexy in her cotton-crepe dress and strings of little shells dangling from her ankles and pale-blond hairs let loose down her spine. We felt we were in Heaven. Punishment didn't look that bad, after all. We were in love and we trusted these girls more than we trusted ourselves. We cleaned the mess. Some of guys had to be put in a large bathtub, full of crystal-clear, very cold water. Friend was a very powerful man and I was in my physical best, so we managed to keep our boys in the bathtub for about ten minutes. Finally, they wrestled their way out of their confinement and their pitiful shrieks stopped. We never saw the Germans again. It took our classmates quite a few days before they decided to visit us again. Then, my Friend I sat at our table and talked some math. He was interested in applying methods of calculus of variations in computer logic and I was preoccupied with the methods of optimizing the furnace processes. We were immensely happy being allowed to talk about things that interested us so much. But to others, we must have looked miserable. Our neighbors, some Bulgarian students, were observing us with disdain. They watched girls dressing up, us cleaning up the mess and then just sitting without expressing a word of protest. How unmanly this must have been for them? They were about to give us some pep talk when our girls came back. They said "Hi" to us and to them, walked into the foreroom and uncorked a bottle of champagne. E., my girlfriend, invited these young Bulgars for a drink. They were baffled, they looked at me and Friend for a sign of disapproval, but couldn't find one. I was talking about the German invention of a continuous steel production by-passing the Bessemer furnace. At that time Poland was building a large steel complex, at Katowice, using an obsolete technology. This was a calamity, because the continuous process was initiated during the WWII and it was based on system used for the production of concrete substrate. There was enough know-how in Poland to carry this technology to the world-class level. Actually, we were a part of it. The Bulgars drank a glass or two and went back to their tent, and I was still rambling on about my furnace. The girls poured some champagne for us and we continued to dream. G. and E. were petrified with my story. They looked at us with some awe. They must have felt uneasy about their childish demonstration. We all felt good about ourselves, Friend whispered: "Loved and admired!". We were, for sure. In the morning, Bulgars came over and asked the girls for a permission to invite us for a lunch. How could they refuse? After the night, their admirations for us increased slightly. They shouldn't have trusted us so much. In front of their tent, Bulgarian boys set up a stack of sandwiches and I became involved in a squabble with another Bulgarian camper. This S.O.B. pulled a pin from my tent so that he could set up his own. Space was getting tight. I was mad. We quarreled for a while until he finally agreed to share a pin. His tent had a foreroom and I could see there a large bucket of clear water. It looked very inviting. We shook hands and he told me to use his bucket any time I wanted. He really shouldn't have. The girls went to the beach, I pulled in my mattress and we started eating. Our hosts matched our bottle of wine with a 1.5 l bottle of Rakiya. Very soon, I got dizzy. So I rolled over and went to sleep. Friend kept representing the polish side of the "round napkin." I was asleep when violent, but relatively weak blows fell upon my head. G. was screaming mad: Friend, who incidentally was also her husband, was stretched amongst sandwiches and was vomiting. It all looked terrible. Bulgars were hazy at best and G. was hysterical, E. shouted: "Do something!", so I did. I ran to my neighbor's tent, grabbed the bucket and poured its content on barfing Friend. Too bad, during our feast this neighbor of mine managed to prepare some fifteen pounds of fresh fish. Only scales, heads and intestines were left in the bucket. All that ended up on Friend's head. G. feinted. Jurek Klimkowski Date:********** ========================================================================= PIGULKI - Editors Jerzy Klimkowski (Incommunicado, USA) email: jzk@vanity.ncat.edu Dave Phillips (Cheektowaga, USA) email: davep@acsu.buffalo.edu Jacek Ulanski (Lodz, Poland) (email: pending, really, pending!) Marek Zielinski (NYC, USA) email: zielinsk@nyuacf.bitnet Note: PIGULKI is distributed free of charge to masochistic readers who request it. All signed articles are Copyright (c) 1990 by their authors. PIGULKI may not be copied or retransmitted without prior permission by the editors and notification of your local public health authorities. Your articles, letters, threats, denunciations are welcome; please send them to any editor you can find who'll admit being one. We reserve the right to edit for brevity. ======================================================================== .