Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!micro-heart-of-gold.mit.edu!netnews.com!news.maxwell.syr.edu!tor-nx1.netcom.ca!news.uunet.ca!nnrp1.uunet.ca.POSTED!idealink!airnsun.dcfido.org!postmaster@f120.n109.z1.fidonet.org From: postmaster@f120.n109.z1.fidonet.org Message-ID: Newsgroups: dc.romance Subject: FAQ List Organization: Fidonet Net109 Gateway Lines: 156 Date: Sat, 1 Jan 2000 10:00:38 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 216.38.24.1 X-Trace: nnrp1.uunet.ca 946757703 216.38.24.1 (Sat, 01 Jan 2000 15:15:03 EST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 01 Jan 2000 15:15:03 EST Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu dc.romance:13615 DC.ROMANCE Love, courting, and romance for DC area couples and singles Last updates: August 26, 1994 by riker@worldweb.net (text) September 1, 1995 by postmaster@f120.n109.z1.fidonet.org (formatting/posting -- email address changed to postmaster as spamgard) The unmoderated group DC.ROMANCE provides a forum for both couples and singles to discuss the challenges and rewards of maintaining romance in their lives in the D.C. metro area. As a secondary purpose, the newsgroup provides an outlet where *non-profit* social groups may announce events (i) that are likely to be of interest to singles and couples; and (ii) that are open to all interested parties. (Advertised events should have no fees or nominal fees associated with them.) The newsgroup is geared primarily towards discussion. The topics may range from the particular (such as, 'What's a really nice, romantic restaurant in which to propose marriage?', or 'Where do I meet single men who have sexy bald heads, speak Swahili, and love to jog?'); to the general (such as, 'How does a very busy professional couple with two kids find time to stay in tune with each other?'). People may even talk about books or articles that they've found helpful. Couples will no doubt tend to focus on maintaining and improving the level of intimacy in their lives. For singles, the obvious issues that may arise will no doubt include: Where to meet people? How to approach them without coming on too strong/weak/weird/boring/etc? and related matters. Below, we answer a few questions. But first.... A NOTE TO GENTLEMEN: The group has existed for some time now, and it's been happily, remarkably productive (maybe that's not the best word, but you know what I mean). However, there has been one small complaint from some of the ladies: A fair number of men seem to gripe that there are too few ladies in the conference! Please do not post mail bemoaning the relative shortage of ladies in the conference. For one thing, the women who do participate and/or lurk certainly are not responsible for any other women who choose not to participate in the newsgroup. It's a free country. For another thing, the newsgroup is not intended primarily as a "meet market" -- it's a discussion group. Even if the ratio of M/F is (hypothetically and worst case) 20/1, the discussion can be as informative and rewarding as ever. Now, on with the questions. Question: Why was this newsgroup created? After all, there already exists soc.singles, and several other groups related to seeking relationships (e.g., alt.personals). However... Each metro area in this country presents unique challenges and opportunities for people, both in terms of meeting and in terms of staying together. D.C., of course, is relatively high stress in terms of work loads, and it's a competitive place to live. These factors place unusual stresses on potential and existing relationships. On a more concrete level, D.C. is expensive! For the many of us who are not rich, it's important to learn of places to visit which are inexpensive, yet still have that special ambiance that can contribute so much to a lovely day or evening. Question: Is DC.ROMANCE just another meat market ("meet market"?)? Or just another flame conference? Well, ultimately that's something that *you* determine. But steps have been taken at the outset to minimize that possibility: 1. By being explicitly open to couples as well as singles, the group aims to have a more optimistic, success-in-love oriented tone than a pure singles conference. Ideally, couples who have successfully surmounted some of the challenges of becoming a couple will chime in with advice for the single folks. 2. Our focus here is ROMANCE -- and, more broadly speaking, on depth of feelings of mutual liking and affection between two people. Question: Are personals allowed? Yes, absolutely. The guideline: In your subject line, PLEASE START ALL PERSONALS WITH THOSE THREE MAGIC LETTERS: 'ISO'. That way, folks who are not interested in personals can easily skip them. Folks who are interested in personals will know just where to look. If you don't follow this one simple rule, expect some educational e-mail (hopefully polite e-mail) from others. NOTE (added May 11, 1994): So far, the newsgroup seems to be frequented more by men than by women. And, on the other hand, it's mostly the men posting the personals. The moral of the story: There's no harm in posting personals, but it's suggested that you think of DC.ROMANCE primarily as a place for discussing issues of romance. If you meet a partner via the newsgroup, that's just dressing on the goose. Questions: Are gays, lesbians, and bisexuals welcome in the newsgroup? Yes, but only on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, respectively. (Hey, that's a *joke*!). Yes, of course. Question: Are people of all ages welcome in the group? (added June 22, 1994) Basically, Yes. However, it occurs to me that there is something I should add -- something which would hopefully be obvious, and superfluous, and that no one would even want to do otherwise than. But to play it safe and cover the bases: It is NOT appropriate (and probably not lawful) for anyone above the legal age of consent to use this newsgroup to establish a relationship with anyone below the legal age of consent. (No, I do not know the legal ages of consent in D.C., Maryland, or Virginia. If you really need to find out, call an attorney, please.) In general, while the newsgroup has not been terribly "spicy", I think it is geared towards persons above the legal age of consent. To date, this has not been an issue; again, I'm only mentioning it to be thorough. Question: Could you please repeat those guidelines for posting announcements of social events? Sure. Social events should be posted only by non-profit social organizations who are sponsoring events which are clearly likely to be of interest to singles, and/or to couples looking to get out for a nice time. Fees should be non-existent, or nominal (enough to cover costs). The event should be open to all persons. Events need not be sponsored specifically by a "social organization", provided the event is likely to interest readers of this group. For example, if your club (say, hypothetically, the Folklore Society of Greater Washington) is sponsoring a dance that you believe would be a good "mixer", you can post a notice here. If your group is based in a church or other religious/sectarian organization, please use your good judgement. Ask yourself, 'Is this event really open to folks of others faiths? Will they feel comfortable here?' Only if the answer is yes should an announcement be posted here. Question: Who enforces these guidelines? What if some people do not respect them? No one enforces them. And invariably, some people will ignore them. If you think their offense (such as failing to post 'ISO' on an ISO) is inadvertent, please send them some gentle e-mail; educating them on the guidelines for this newsgroup. If you feel the offense is deliberate (like someone advertising a clearly for-profit dating service), feel free to send any kind of e-mail that will get the message across: 'Not here!' But most of all, try to live calmly with the fact that, with freedom comes some moderate degree of anarchy. Maybe the best thing is to ignore the folks who ignore the guidelines. Don't pay attention to them, and perhaps they will go away. Good luck to one and all in finding the companionship, or the love, or the romance, the fun and the warmth that your heart desires. .