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Mike Tyson's Punch-Out
February 23rd, 2020
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Years ago there was a series of videos on youtube that outlined
the deep, deep secrets and strategies of Mike Tyson's Punch-Out in
exquisite detail. The series was quite long, if memory serves.
Perhaps 10 or 12 videos in all. I remember it from the late 2000s
but it seems to have vanished from the internet completely.
In the first of the videos the author explained some of the
fundamentals. These are things we take for granted about the game
that are so basic they set up the mind for later revelations. The
first can be demonstrated by a very basic question: which punch
does more damage, left or right? Do you know? Do you think you
have an answer? Or did you, like most people, just punch whichever
was convenient and then alternate away? Would you be surprised to
learn that there is an actual benefit for choosing one over the
other. There is indeed, and it depends upon which direction your
opponent attacked from last.
The sequence of punching, whether to stay on left or right for
a series or to alternate, also changes depending on a number of
cues that are all right there in the game. There's so much at
work, such rich programming and strategy, that it's unfathomable
that it's escaped notice for so long.
What else can I tell you about? The various techniques to gain
stars, the methods of using those stars that results in opponent
reactions you've never even seen. Seriously, there's like 10
videos worth of gold that was out there!
But now it's gone. Poof. I've looked a bunch of times without any
luck. The author pulled the videos down and vanished long ago and
no manner of sleuthing has uncovered a crumb.
It's contrary to the idea we're normally presented with that once
something is on the internet it's there forever. We gopher
dwellers know the truth, though. This is all vapour and fleeting.
How much of the web was purely in Flash and completely
inaccessible now? How much was never archived in the wayback, or
was behind a login? My own earliest websites are gone. And that's
just the web! How much of gopherspace is lost to us? These
protocols, around in force since the mid 90s only, 25-30 years of
content that seems at once like everything that has ever been, and
also a flash in the pan. How long until the next technological
upheaval closes another door to our past? How long until all of
this is fleeting memory?
We are better at archiving than many here in our burrows. It's
mostly plain text, after all, and easily stored. But it's also
difficult to index, and links vanish without a clue as to where
those backup treasure troves might be. If we lose a few
cornerstones like Cameron's Floodgap, or SDF, how much goes with
it?
Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is... have any of you seen the
Punch-Out videos? I really want to watch them again.