____________________________ /A Jerec Mini FAQ \ /______________________________\____________________________________ | The Secret of Monkey Island | | Sword Fight Guide | |___________________________________________________________________| ===================================================================== Contents ===================================================================== I - Introduction II - Copyright Info III - Version info IV - Normal Insults V - Swordmaster Insults VI - Credits ===================================================================== I - Introduction ===================================================================== This FAQ is a guide to the Sword Fighting part of The Secret of Monkey Island in Part 1. This is not a guide to the whole game, just a quick Sword Fight for those only having trouble with this aspect of the game and don't want the plot spoilt by looking up a full FAQ/Walkthrough. Enjoy. ===================================================================== II - Copyright Info ===================================================================== This document Copyright 2000-2002 Alex Antonijevic (Jerec). This guide MAY be used on your website if no profit is to be gained from it. If it is posted on your website, it must remain EXACTLY the same as it is here, all credit to me and an email to me telling me where you put. There is no need to steal this guide. If you want it on your site, just ask! My email is jerecis@hotmail.com ===================================================================== III - Version Info ===================================================================== 1.0 (5/3/00) - Started FAQ Insults, replies, contents. 1.1 (5/12/00) - Fixed up spelling mistakes 1.2 (7/4/00) - New Email Adress Final (2/27/02) - Fixed format, made it look more presentable. ===================================================================== IV - Normal Insults ===================================================================== Use these insults on the normal pirates that can be found walking around the paths of Melee Island. This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur! And I´ve got a little TIP for you, get the POINT? Soon you´ll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab! First you better stop waiving it like a feather-duster. My handkerchief will wipe up your blood! So you got that job as janitor, after all. People fall at my feet when they see me coming. Even BEFORE they smell your breath? I once owned a dog that was smarter then you. He must have taught you everything you know. You make me want to puke. You make me think somebody already did. Nobody´s ever drawn blood from me and no body ever will. You run THAT fast? You fight like a dairy farmer. How appropriate. You fight like a cow. I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle! I hope now you´ve learned to stop picking your nose. Have you stopped wearing diapers yet? Why, did you want to borrow one? I´ve heard you were a contemptible sneak. Too bad no one´s ever heard of YOU at all. You´re no match for my brains, you poor fool. I´d be in real trouble if you ever used them. You have the manners of a begger. I wanted to make sure you´d feel comfortable with me. I´m not going to take your insolence sitting down! Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh? There are no words for how disgusting you are. Yes there are. You just never learned them. I´ve spoken with apes more polite then you. I´m glad to hear you attended your family reunion. ===================================================================== V - Swordmaster Insults ===================================================================== The Swordmaster will do all the insulting. It is up to you to provide the best comeback from the insults and comebacks you have learnt by fighting the other pirates. I´ve got a long, sharp lesson for you you to learn today. And I´ve got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT? My tonge is sharper then any sword. First you better stop waving it like a feather-duster. My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island! So you got that job as a janitor, after all. My wisest enemies run away at the first sight of me! Even BEFORE they smell your breath? Only once have I met such a coward! He must have taught you everything you know. If your brother´s like you, better to marry a pig. You make me think somebody already has. No one will ever catch ME fighting as badly as you do. You run THAT fast? I will milk every drop of blood from your body! How appropriate. You fight like a cow. My last fight ended with my hands coverd with blood. I hope now you´ve learned to stop picking your nose. I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape. Why, did you want to borrow one? My sword is famous all over the Caribbean! Too bad no one´s ever heard of YOU at all. I´ve got the courage and skill of a master swordsman! I´d be in real trouble if you ever used them. Every word you say to me is stupid. I wanted to make sure you´d feel comfortable with me. You are a pain in the backside, sir! Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh? There are no clever moves that can help you now. Yes there are. You just never learned them. Now I know what filth and stupidity really are. I´m glad to hear you attended your family reunion. I usually see people like you passed-out on tavern floors. Even BEFORE they smell your breath? ===================================================================== VI - Credits ===================================================================== Jerec (me) - Author of this FAQ CJayC - Owner of the great site that hosts this FAQ Lucasarts - For making another great adventure game -EOF-