An Ode to John Holmes
-Palladin Publishing, a division of Stealth Enterprises-

John Holmes has passed away
Perhaps worn down at forty-three
His role before the silver screen
A cinematic phallacy

How many guys saw him perform
Did envy such prodigeous rod
How many women thus seduced
Surprised in fright exclaimed Oh God

But fear no more you anxious moms
Protect your daughters' virtue stout
A thousand conquests end today
His lengthy candle is snuffed out

Nor grieve you not proprietors
Of dirty bookstore movie booths
He will yet pleasure porno queens
And sometimes horney devils soothe

An actor playing but one part
Straight arrow roles yet stiff no bends
In and out vicissitudes
Predictable climactic ends

So John Holmes has passed away
In life more blessed than many men
Unlike the South and Jesus Christ
He will not rise again.


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