20260705-x_2022_is_a_terrible_movie.txt

NSFW & spoilers

X (2022) is a god-awful movie. It just is. I got it cheap. I was only
interested in it for Brittany Snow, and boy, did it disappoint.

Here's your spoiler warning. The movie is just a gore-fest. There is
no fucking rhyme or reason for anything to happen in the film. Some
small porn crew rents out a guest house in rural Texas from a couple
that looks older than time itself. They really did their best to make
the old couple revolting. Jenna Ortega's character is a "shy" girl
that ends up going ahead with starring in the film despite being a
boom mic grip. Ortega's boyfriend, R.J., is the
cameraman/cinematographer/director and he takes Ortega's infidelity as
well as a normal person: gets mad, upset, and defeated.

He tries to leave but the sick-in-the-head old lady tries to seduce
him and when he refuses, she stabs him in the neck. The rest of the
porn crew get killed off one by one by mostly the old lady but the old
man does shoot the porn stud. Mia Goth's non-grotesque character,
Maxine, is the only one left when Ortega gets shot in the head by
being an idiot screaming when Maxine lets her out of the basement
prison she was stuck in. The old man has a heart attack and dies when
dragging in Ortega's body and the old lady tries to help him when
Maxine gets the upper hand and tries to fire pistol that ended up
being unloaded. The old lady shoots at Maxine and misses which
displaces her hip or something. Maxine gets in the car that previously
and presumably still has a knife in one of the tires and backs over
the old lady and leaves. The end.


It's movies like this that make the horror genre a punching bag. My
God, Piranha 3DD might even be better. I skipped over half the
characters because they brought nothing to the movie, just another
number for the body count. The story is bland. Who the fuck wants to
see the ugliest old people murder a bunch of young adults? There is
zero reason to care about any of the characters. None. The plot is
garbage and the film is just ugly to look at. The filmmakers should be
ashamed of themselves. I'm certainly ashamed for buying it. I wonder if
Amazon just had trouble selling it and pushed it in their search
algorithm. I may end up returning it, something I almost never do with
movie discs.