!Fail --- agk's diary 21 April 2022 @ 17:06 UTC --- written on GPD Win 1 via puTTY in garage while Evy and the baby drive home from Indiana --- I failed a nursing school exam. Against my 85% exam average in Med-Surg II, I scored 68%. Final exam's in two weeks. I didn't remember enough musculoskeletal care. I stared blankly---is Buck's traction a boot or pinn- ed to bone? What's priority to teach a predischarge patient whose fractured jaw's wired shut? We worked last month on the trauma surgery floor caring for people who wrecked motorcycles and cars, got crushed by mowers and tractors. Amputated or rebuilt with external fixation and open reduction/ internal fixation, my patients were in all kinds of traction, needed blood after each surgery, in cerv- ical collars. They left us for laminectomies and spinal fusion surgeries, then came back. I changed dressings and positions, helped them amb- ulate, passed meds (acetaminophen, oxycodone, meth- ocarbamol, gabapentin, enoxaparin, vancomycin, stool softeners). I looked at CT scans. I watched white cell counts rise and hemoglobin/hematocrit drop. I taught pts to pivot and stand w/ a walker, what to expect in ortho rehab. The week we covered musculoskeletal and acute coro- nary syndrome in class I was apathetic, bored, un- interested. I didn't take notes. I worried about grandpa's post-stroke aphasia and depression, if Cassie'd get fired and lose health coverage or die of her bad covid reinfection. I wanted to sleep, play monsters with my monkey daughter, read about Ukraine and Anatolian history. I read a book about unionizing commercial laundries one worried, exhausted night instead of studying. Through worry and exhaustion, Shirre and I wowed an instructor with care of a simulated patient. He had heart failure post-surgical debridement of a diab- etic foot wound. A solid team, our assessment, dec- isions, and care were great. When an emergency was simulated, our anxiety didn't show. I worked at the psych hospital and pulled a 12-hour shift in the Level I trauma center at the Emergency Department. You're guaranteed to see someone you know in the ED where rural hospitals send patients ---just like adolescent psych. Two of my classmates failed out of this class. I still have a chance. Because I failed the exam, I drove to the city for a review. Evy's sister watched the baby so Evy could tutor, then tested covid+. Got it from her boyfriend, maybe gave it to baby and us. We test this afternoon. Back to the grind. --- UPDATE: We tested negatron. God bless open windows, fans a-blowing in every room.