!What I didn't say --- agk's diary 21 November 2024 @ 19:18 UTC --- written on Pinebook Pro at home while first daughter naps --- Yesterday three undergrads interviewed me for their "Oddcast." They're thinking about archives, the role of universities, queer studies, and Palestine. They asked good questions, but didn't get across to me what the stakes were to them, other than getting the assignment done. Their meekness when it came to personal disclosure and when it came to pushing back on anything I said meant I took too much control of the interview. It wandered. I'm proud of and excited by some things that came out of my mouth, but there were things I wish I'd said. They're undergrads! They're exceptional, they're learning, and my criticism is about their learning edge, what I think they can lean into. When I speak well, it's to someone, a singular or collective personality who wants something my speech act tries to provide or challenge. Not knowing who the students were made it harder to speak to them. After the interview we briefly spoke, in the rushed and brief way of this era and millieu, in which unstructured time is avoided outside of close personal relationships. After the church dinner with Evy and first daughter, I thought about what little I know about them, and things I might have said if I'd been less self-indulgent. They wanted to know what I want in the future. I told them about the simple, plain living of my present life. I told them the pleasure I take in my family and balance between work, family, and ministry. Out of hardscrabble past, I'm grateful. I hope for good times to continue. I said I'm excited to see the miraculous changing configuration of everyday reality I feel underway, to explore possibilities I can't imagine that will be presented by the circumstances we'll soon be in. I didn't say I want the people of my country to live systematically well within our means but, oh, I do. I want the homeless guy with a touch of non-drug- induced psychosis I spent the day with a few days ago to have the pleasure and security I have. He works warehouses and cleans factories, works up to owning and working on a classic car, destroys it in a series of car accidents, moves to another city in shame, and starts from homeless again. That's what he's done since he aged out of the foster care system. He wants a family. He wants peace. I want robber barons like Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, the Waltons, Pritzgers, and Sacklers to live as simply as I do, with a well- maintained sixteen-year-old five-speed hatchback they love to drive and a kid or grandkid they love to bike down to the creek from their rented half- duplex. No superyachts, no private jets, just a desire to live simpler and happier. I think America (and whatever comes after Israel) could aspire to that sort of a good life for every- one with the resources we have available. If we did I think some version of that good life could be available to everybody worldwide, and the worst catastrophes in first daughter's lifetime avoided or transited with grace. I hope for humble luxury for all and a culture of care for the common good. I didn't say that, but now I wrote it. I'm glad they got me to think this through. Wish I could do more for them.