16 Sep 2025 ------------ Thoughts: Fragile Got it only from a chat group yesterday that an old friend has become father. I guess that's the problem of not having Facebook, X, microblogging social media - you are always late for news around your circle. The baby girl stayed in the hospital for a month and went back home with daddy and mummy yesterday, hence the messages. Before having my son, I seldom pay too much attention to this kind of news. Going through the journey made me realise that this is actually truly easier said than done. I think I am lucky, besides being blessed with a child, because the thought or probably desire to ask others "look having children makes you happy, so when do you plan to have one?" never come to me. Some friends got very annoyed after being asked by relatives when they would have a child, because they have been trying very hard and even went for some clinical help. The fact that it is just not a matter of switching on the production line when you like it, in my opinion an important topic that we never properly get informed. I am happy for my friend's baby girl, as well as any brave little ones who, although they didn't know it themselves, did a really great job getting well and got out of the NICU. I always think that kids are fragile, but then was taught that they are not fragile because they can actually handle bumps and falls typically when they learn to walk or learn to be naughty. But on the other hand they are very fragile indeed. I remember that the most fearful thing when my son was younger, was the SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). I watched a BBC programme about that. The unexplained death is just like, you did nothing wrong but your baby didn't make it to grow up, which is super bad. I was very nervous about it. I think that's the time I developed an unconscious habit of waking up a few times during the night, and a superpower that I think I no longer will be able to do - I would just wake up immediately when my son sat up in his crib, even he didn't make any sound. Another weird habit is that when I see the little one is not moving, I will just check if he is still breathing. Most of the time he was just sleeping soundly though... News about children being harmed is also the thing that I feel I noticed more. There are too many, not to mention one incident is already too many. I could remember quite a few of them. I remember there was one last year that during Christmas, a father had a heart attack, passed away, and his toddler, not knowing what happened, accompanied his dad and died from hunger. Very heartbreaking. The news said that the baby boy was left in dark, no food nor water, for a couple weeks. He curled up next to his dad's body. It did remind me to stay healthy and exercise more, not for myself but for the little one. Another one I forgot how long ago and where. A not-very-good father, divorced, bad-tempered, one day brought his son to a rooftop. He gave the kid a shoulder ride, only to throw his off the roof and jumped off himself too. The ironic aftermath was that the kid survived but not the father, and I just think no one can imagine how bad this have affected the child's mind. I always am thinking that the father might not be playing with the kid quite often, and the only few times that his dad offered to play with him was actually an evil scheme. That's overly insane. I also remember that I had a friend in primary school. He died very young due to brain tumor. I remember his parents were both crying in the funeral. I was like "oh, that is how it happened". After having my son, I feel like I can understand his parents' feeling. I don't know if kids are strong or fragile, or is it a thing that parents are always worried until a point that they suddenly believe that if their kid do something stupid and die, it's on their own. I think may be my parents had the same feeling? I guess I will feel the same when my son get to like 18 years old?