date: Sun 18 May 2025 07:38:54 PM PDT
subj: phlog attachment family
---------------------------------------------

Today I was lucky enough to have tea with Roshi. Roshi is a
master of ZaZen. I asked him his thoughts on attachment. He said
without attachment there is no family. His answer was nice to
hear. I have more contemplation about the topic of attachment.

Also there was a question about the unified mind. An interesting
answer about alpha state vs beta states of mind. Where
concentration on breathing, a single focus is alpha state. A
focus on work for society or community is more of a beta state
(higher??). I'm not positive about how these things are conveyed
from a master via an interpreter as well as just a lot to
consume, words spoken in Japanese and translated to English. 

Tea was nice. I like the people who attended. Stephen is always
great to see. Stephen is a young 23 year old intelligent and
thoughtful person who makes people feel welcome by asking about
them and remember what was shared during the last interaction.
The others there are always enjoyable for me to be around. We're
all there for similar purposes .. sitting (ZaZen), but its good
to see the people at the same place with the comfort knowing
that we will all sit together in silence. Something many people
might find boring, we find worth doing.

I'm seeking the unified mind wherein, I'm aware of more
connections and relations to all things around me. 

---------------------------------------------------
I'm so busy these days working with newborns, I have not time to
think about feeling bad, or worry about myself other than if I
will last long enough to get my children and wife through the
next twenty years. 


---------------------------------------------------

My mind drifts to my computing goals over the last couple days.
How can I get all my text files into gopher into a format 67
columns wide where all other formatting remains. Should this be
accomplished via python? bash? completely native tool set? In
all cases it will be a learning experience for me, and an
adventure. 

I think about this process to move all my howto documents onto
gopher in a gopher friendly format. The modern internet via http
sucks, and I don't like the fakeness of it and although my
howtos are outdated. I think some of the info is good to keep
around because the source of the info has vanished off the main
internet.

	---------------------------------------------------
My time in this space is heading down the toilet. Whatever the
computing space is becoming, I'm pretty somewhat sure I'm not
part of it, and certainly likely not to be in the future. I
don't like what its become so being part of what looks like post
modernism, I'm out of the club of whatever post modernism is.
All this politically charged everything seems so not part of the
world I came from in the computing space. This sentiment is the
way of being older. The young make the world in their image and
the old fade away.