2025-09-27

What to do about the Tesla Cybertruck? I know that's a question
that few people really care to ask these days. But by now, the
cybertruck has demonstrated that it is a clear commercial failure.

The sad part is that the Cybertruck could have just been a regular
failure of a vehicle but because of Elon Musk's political shenanigans,
the Cybertruck will probably be remembered as that crappy Tesla
vehicle that failed at the same time that Elon Musk sucked up to
our pedo-in-charge and 34-count convicted felon of a president.

But enough about politics. Let's talk trucks.

Is there any way to salvage a gigantic electric pickup truck with
a polarising industrial design and comically bad quality control
and assembly?

I think so. A lot of pundits will say to just turn the cybertruck
into a full-size SUV and I completely agree. But what would that
really entail?

First of all, I think the new Cybertruck-SUV will give Tesla a
chance to drop the close association with the Cybertruck design
language and design focus. This would allow Tesla to manufacture
a 3-row SUV with more traditional design like all of their other
cars. I think you can make an argument that some design features
could be carried over like maybe a stainless steel option??? but
honestly, dropping the ridiculously extreme angled design in favor
of a more traditional SUV styling would go a long way to helping
Tesla manufacture the new SUV quicker and faster with more standard
parts (like regular windshield wipers for one).

That's not to say that the new SUV needs to look like a giant Model
Y or Model X. It can still keep a boxy-angled design. Just more
Cadillac Escalade and less Merkava.

And let's be clear here, a Tesla Cybertruck-SUV would be a massive
SUV that honestly isn't really sold in the US anymore. I think
there would definitely be an appetite for an SUV that size. The
cybertruck has a wheelbase exceeding 140 inches. The only SUV that
really came close to that is the Ford Excursion which was a beast
of a vehicle and is quite sought-after nowadays for Americans who
want a large SUV for camper towing and boat towing.

The original Ford Excursion was a very niche vehicle that was
limited by its shockingly bad fuel economy and size of course. But
the Chevy Tahoe and Ford Expeditions that are sold today aren't
much smaller than the Excursions of old and they are perennial best
sellers.

While the market for a gigantic Tahoe sized electric SUV is surely
small, it can't be smaller than the market for a gigantic sized
electric pickup truck that can barely do any pickup truck things.

anyways, just my 2c