"I don't know what's going on but
it's working for you"

A women looking at my bum while
trying new pants.

Was she a sales person? I though
she was with her partner. We
talked linen for a second, she
knew her stuff. I went out the
change room, to see if there were
any other pants. She was helping
this other guy, but I've never
seen her as a staff.

I bought a new shirt and a pair
of pants. The cashier commented
on the girl that helped me find
my shirt. I stopped myself
mentioning how beautiful she was.
I want to say more things like
that. She is really beautiful, I
couldn't stop looking at her
hair, her style, tall, well
proportioned, I couldn't pick up
anything I didn't like about her. 
Yet I didn't find anything to say
to her. I wasn't aware much in
the store. 

I worked on my presence later
while being in public. My
energy is low, I am drained, and
I feel like my presence is like
of a beggar. My energy cup is
empty, therefore my presence is
clingy. I want the other's
attention, I want to be looked
at, I want to be loved.

People seems to notice me but
without much connections.
Presence without cultivation of
energy is not as playful. I feel
like a creep.

I had a pizza and an apple
fritter yesterday, to add to my
low energy, now my guts are
filled with dough. I need a few
day to rebalance, maybe fast for
a day this weekend. My 11 days
plan is coming to an end soon and
I don't feel like I've done half
what I planned to do! I'm in a
weird, uncomfortable in-between.

I woke up this morning wondering
why no one is falling in love
with me. Then I remember, that in
Canada, even if a woman would
fall for me, she wouldn't reach
out. This is the culture here,
man has to do the first move, and
generally the second, and third
one. I miss the Quebec culture,
where woman are more up front.