My gym organized the fight night
in Nelson. Me and my daughter
were really excited to go see the
matches. I wanted to see the
people I train with, and
also wanted to check out the
crowd. What type of locals would
go to a boxing match?

Most of the fighters were under
30, it attracted a lot of younger
women. There were a lot of
beautiful girls around. A few
months ago, I would have been
intimidated, attracted to
everyone. I wasn't really.
I caught a lot of looks, I saw a
lot of women wanted to be looked
at. A younger blond girl was
really staring and smiling,
walked by a couple time, I
smiled, said hi. She was with her
friends they giggled.

I am really not where I was last
year as far as relationship. Last
psytrance party also offered me a
new understanding of what I want
as a partner. I'm too weird for
most people. People want to blend
in, want to look like everyone
else, wants to be accepted and
normal. I see that the punk,
the emo, the alt culture have
at least the desire to be outside
the norm.

It doesn't mean that they are.
Most people think alike, even if
they dress weirdly. I'm weird
enough from the inside out, I
don't need to show it on my
sleeves. But it helps me to find
people that are more marginal,
the freaks and the alt. There are
more connections possibility than
with most people. 

Fighters are a fun breed too.
They are also the exception;
not a lot of people can train
and get punched in the face
and keep going. I really connect
with the people I train with. 

Hippies, musician, fighters,
weirdos, hackers, ravers, yogis,
these are more the people I connect
with, I wondered if there would
be some of that at the match. 

An older man, who seemed a bit
older than me, sitting next to us.
I could see the color in his
hair, overly dark. He wanted to
look young. He was with a young
girl, probably 19.

Why were they next to us? I saw
him looking at my daughter,
wondering if I am with a teenage
girlfriend too. This is what it
looks like when a grown up man
has a teenage girlfriend. He
seemed old and not playful, she
seemed young and not present.

There was still a warmth between
both of them, it was a cute
couple, bathe in the shame of the
culture. Singled out from the
community, wanting to be
acknowledged. I didn't mind, they
seemed to be both willing, and
wanting to be in public. I can
understand the tension and the
desire to fight back against the
shame. I was raised with hippies,
ravers and in Montreal nightlife,
older man and younger women is
part of the culture there. Not so
much in western Canada. 

I looked at her. She looked nice.
Not the style of the teenagers
these days. Perfect long nails,
perfect make-up. Fancy handbag,
with an air of dissatisfaction,
looking away, to my left. Was she
looking at me? I'm surely not her
style, apart for the age
difference. 

The fights were really enjoyable.
All the fighters from my gym won.
Beating up their opponents with
ease. I learned that my gym has a
very good reputation for the
standard of training. My daughter
knew a few of the fighters and
was really excited for the match.
She never saw a fight in person
and was on the edge of her seat.

I was practicing presence in the
midst of all that. Checking in
the crowd to see if anyone else
was present and observing. I
caught the eyes of the main coach
of my school. He looked at me
wondering, he too was present in
that moment. I am not sure he
knows I train in his gym, he
mostly work with the team that
compete. I mostly work with his
dad.