As I am learning to be single,
my past comes back to me. In a
weird twist of event, I'm starting
to listen to classical music again. 

I just enjoy listening to classical
music, so much so that I feel a bit
self concious about it. It feels 
somewhat 'pretentious' to like 
classical music. There is nothing
I can do, my whole body enjoy 
listening to classical music. 

I dream about the day I'll be in 
the city and go to back to the
orchestra. As a kid I've had the
chance to go to many concert, 
one of my violin teacher was 
playing with the Montreal 
philharmonic orchestra. The 
experience of so many instruments
playing at the same time, the 
composition and the story that
happened in my head during this
relaxing and exhilarating moment,
deeply formed my relationship
to music. 

This is what I've been questioning
lately, what relation does it have
with my creating electronic music?
Is that why I have never been able 
to stick to a genre? Is there such
a thing as 'composing' "classical"
electronic "music". 

Classical music is often created 
with multiple monophonic instruments. 
All with a very 'simple' sound 
engine that can be wildly expressive. 

Not only that but the structure is
really an elaborate construction
far outside the pop 1212 chorus 
verse transition type of music
creation. 

When I improvise and jam with 
people, I'm often struck on how
I always want to depart on a journey. 
Lately I've tried to reign it in, 
and listen to the cycle and 
pattern people wants to do, 
and the simplest possible is
what normally win the game. 

All of that to say that I realize
now what my aspirations are, or my
ultimate desire is, and it's not
EDM or pop-music. I want to play,
I want to have the expressiveness
of my violin, and I want to use
technology to augment that process,
without over-simplification 
(i.e. straight up looping) but
give this full on experience
of the listener. 

I've wrote many times about my
own process in music and how I've
taken a crooked path, without
a precise goal since I starter
playing music. And I am fine 
with that. It's not a job, it's
an exploration. 

I'm glad I'm back into classical
music, and can't wait to explore
further and be inspired by new 
composer. Getting back on my synth
to night, my mind wasn't stuck
into wanting to produce sometime. 
I wanted to explore the psycho
acoustic effect of multiple sound,
or detuning many voices and somewhat
testing the limit of electronic 
music and it's long forgotten 
 ancestor,  I wanted to explore
how to add emotions, and ease of
expression  to the synth itself,
using all the tools available, 
velocity, after touch, external 
pedals, lfo, external sounds...