"To enjoy the illusion, maya,
without being craving it."

I though to myself.

"Your intention is not complete"

I asked for clarification and
then reformulated my intention.

"I want to enjoy the illusion,
maya, since it's a form of the
divine, and I will welcome what
life is brining to me."

The intention was complete and we
proceeded to the treatment. 

Before the treatment, Lee had to
clear the energy, something was
blocking the flow. She had to
summon the archangel Raziel, the
archangel of magic, from
the center of the cosmos, in
order to come and clear something
she called the dojo master.

I felt that this might have been
related to my last lover, who
used blood magic to get together
with me. I wasn't sure. I was sad
at the idea of cutting this
energy link, although toxic.
I know this has to be done, I
come to peace with it now. 

On the road, my energy work
becomes a lot more important.
I don't have the comfort or the
power of my home to recharge me.
I am on my own.

I brought with me a folded letter
size paper with the instruction
of the rainbow sun chi kung. It's
a simple practice that I find
really powerful to ground me.

Yesterday evening I offered a
massage to the guest where we've
spend 2 nights. My energy was
low, my digestion was troubled,
so I had to do something. A quick
shower, lying down in my bed, I
then went through the chi kung,
quickly but thoroughly. I was
able to ground myself.

We've been on the road for almost
a week now. The last festival was
great for my daughter. I met a
girl that like to do shroom and
we talked about doing them
together. It got me excited. I've
also re-connected with a friend
that has been on my mind for a
while. We hugged tenderly, so
much so that my friend noticed
the passion behind it.

"What's up between you two?"

He said, I simply replied that I
think we like each other quite a
lot.

I saw my psytrance crew. I was
really happy to see them there,
but I also felt in a different
reality. I didn't take the time
to connect further although they
stayed for the whole weekend.
Julia, the very beautiful Polish
Dj, came to hug me, it was really
sweet to see her. We talked about
the next event and how she'll be
djing then.

I was a bit stressed about the
house that needed to be cleaned
for my landlord and his family. I
came back home to clean and prep
the place. I really dislike to
clean for other people, without
being paid. Cleaning is so
subjective, and my house is so
ragged that it's never really
completely clean. I sent a last
email to them, listing the stuff
that's broken or not working,
which seemed quite long. Then we
got on the road. 

We had a stop in the valley
to meet with a friend who's been
working up north, where the sun
never set. She hoped to come to
my place, but since I was without
a home, we met here, at
Julie-Ann, a mutual friend of
ours, a medium and a psychic.

We shared tea and looked at our
astrological chart. Look at our
goal and purpose, our north star
and dharma. The normal stuff a
sound healer, a yogi and a medium
would do. This theme came back
again and again during our
stay; in the treatment I received
I picked the ashwaganda card that
was all about Dharma and purpose.

"Stay focus and playful. Keep on
following the signs."

Most of the messages I received
here were affirmation of what I'm
working on. This sentence was a
description of the card I picked.
It's really all I can do right
now, stay present and playful.
The difficulty I find are the
signs and where reality is
leading me.

I find that the signs are often
the people I connect with, the
people I am attracted toward.
For instance what I remember the
most from the festival is the
girl who wants to do psychedelic
with me. Is that what I should
follow? I've been thinking about
her, and through a mutual friend
I've heard that she was really
happy to met me. This tend to
creates desires and attraction, a
little love story that I make up
in my mind. Which creates a bit
of an addiction, and I become
infatuated with that person that
I don't really know. 

That's why my intention of
enjoying the illusion without
craving it is at the forefront of
my path.