This is a first draft of a piece on
being a director. I wanted to put down
my thoughts quickly for the moment, 
to be worked on at a further date. 

As I throw my last cigarette in the
hash tray, half smoked, fairly drunk,
I go back home after the celebration
of the finale. I'm looking forward to 
stop smoking for a while, a habit
I take and leave during a theatre season. 

The last few days, I saw how the actors 
started to see me under a different 
light. The trust in the process as 
finally paid off. When you don't
know where you are going, it's hard 
to trust the pilot until you reach 
your destination. 

You could see the constant progress
of the actors, the sets, costumes and 
music, yet the work of the director stay
somewhat invisible until the nights of
the performance, and then it all 
make sense. 

To add to the doubt, this was my
first year as a director. I didn't have 
much credential to my resume. Actors
had to trust me for what they saw. 

I wasn't even sure that it would all
work. I could only rely on my own 
experience; 8 years of productions, 
playing different role as actor, 
art director, technician... I had
a good mentor, and a good team.

Early in the season we all had fun, 
it was easy to simply play. But as the 
season advanced, doubt started to creep,
not only in my head but in the troupe as
well. Actors started to question about
costumes, makeup, sound light. Technician
started to question direction decision. 
Some artistic choices had to be made, 
which were foundational to the play but
was undecided yet. 

The uncomfortable part was to remind 
everyone to focus on their task, and
to trust the process. I would keep on 
listening for the feedback, but made 
sure to give a quick answer when the 
feedback was more of a worry than a
creative idea. 

But now that the play happened, that
the audience enjoyed themselves (to 
the point of having people coming to 
multiple representations), that the
actors are happy with the result, 
I can say that what I did as a director,
worked. It could have been better yes, 
but we've delivered a play that worked. 

So what is it to be a director? 

Initial vision

As I read the play, I created a vision
of what I wanted to see. I heard the music,
I say the stage, I had ideas for projections. 
I didn't spend a lot of time detailing
that vision, but I kept it more like
an impression of what I would like 
to see. 

We then did a few readings of the play
to start understanding the flow of 
the work. The play was really well written, 
and although I haven't read hundreds of 
play, I can tell when 

A well written play

We've came across some really badly written 
play and that helped me understand that
if you start with a well written play, 
your life become a lot easier. 

There are no superfluous sentences or word
that you immediately want to change. 
There are cues about next line for the
actors. Some word are repeated intentionally
to help the actor keeping the story going. 
There are also expression or construction
of text that are repeated which adds rhythm
to the play. When you write music, you want
to make it as simple as possible for the
musician to play a piece that has the most 
effect on the listener. You can also write 
a play like that; a play that is simple, 
yet has a strong effect on the audience. 

It's important to do a few reading to 
see if the play will flow, it's also
a great moment to see how the stage 
can be place and see if other ideas of
the vision happens. 

The core medium

The actors are your core medium. It's the 
clay of the pottery. But it's not a clay
that you can shape in any form that you 
would like. It's more like cuttings of a
magazine, and the process is more akin
to a collage. There are element that
you can change, but there are element of
the actors that you cannot change. 

Some people will be able to change 
their emotions, their voice, their 
physicality, while other will have a
certain voice and style. Some people
will feel more like bricks, and some 
more like mortar, with every state 
in between. This is not a rating of 
good and bad acting. You can have 
actors that are 'bricks' that are 
really good, know all their lines
and  have a strong presence on stage. 
But as they will not change their
role easily, you have to work 
around them a bit more. A mortar 
type of actor might be a very good
actor, which them makes it really 
easy to work with and help with the
cohesion of the play.

This is also dependent on the role 
that each actor will play. Some roles
are there to support, and some roles
are solely there to shine for a moment. 

This is why the audition is such an 
important part of the process. 

The audition

I live in the middle of nowhere. When 
we put out the audition we knew already
who would show up. The auditions are 
an important step anyhow. Every year
we get surprised by one or a few
auditions. Also if an actor cannot make
it to the audition, it's telling of their
desire to be in the play. Consistency
is a really important part of being 
in a troupe. As soon as you have a few
people who don't show up regularly
to the practices, 

Sculpting the vision

The main creative process was for 
me to have a vision, and then slowly 
chip away what wasn't working, what seemed
to be too much work, and what the actor
could and couldn't do. Holding on too
much a big vision would have created
much tensions, having too little of
a vision would make the team worry 
about our destination. 

If I overshared about my full vision
I would create a sense of failure 
for some people who would expect a
certain result. If I didn't share 
enough it would create a lack of 
trust. I sometime waited for the
actor to ask for a more precise 
vision, which was a good indicator
that I needed to share a bit more. 

In the end the vision had to be changed
many times as we experimented with 
different way to present the play. 
There was an overarching destination
that stay the same though. 

The overarching process. 

I was surprise to find myself with
nothing to do really when we go to 
the tech and dress rehearsal. I could
only hope for the best. 

As an actor, the last week, when 
we present the play is where most
of the energy and concentration 
is needed. It's also important
to note that as a director I couldn't
put more pressure than what the overall
current was allowing. It's a strange
momentum, where it's important 
to entice the troupe to move forward,
and when this is happening, I 
can help bring more movement. 

Similar to a manual potter's 
wheel, you can make it spin faster
at the beginning, you need to give
it momentum, and continue that
momentum so that you can spend
time spinning the clay. 

The role of the director

What I see my role to be is not
to teach, it's not to tell people
what to do, it's not really to 
'direct'. I have to create a creative
space and infusing with energy and
movement,. This movement, like the 
current that can be created in a 
circular pool, comes from my own
motion, created a current for 
everyone to flow within it. 
The way I create this movement, 
is by letting myself being 
transported by the play, being fully
immerse in my own creation of
the world. 

It take a certain amount of 
calculated delusion and a 
firm trust in the process. 
I need to trust the troupe, 
and I need to make sure 
everyone trust me. I rarely
had to intervene with the 
different troupe member, and
only had to put my foot down
when I felt a lack of trust. 

I felt I had to nip in the bud
any sense of mistrust. I did 
that by stating that everyone
had to do their jobs, and not
to worry about the rest. I 
offered trust in everyone's 
process and I needed the same
trust for me. 

Conclusion

I'm still resting, 2 days after
the play is done. I was quite drained, 
but in a positive way, like when
you just climbed a mountain. I'm 
already thinking of the next show. 
1984  comes to mind, but we'll see
how it all moves forward!