I feel pretty terrible right now. My entire body feels weak. When I 
walk, I tread slowly. I'm looking more and more forward to getting 
bloodwork done over Spring Break when I'm home. Granted, it will 
probably tell me that nothing's wrong and nothing can be done - just 
like everything always does.

My crush rejected me while drunk yesterday morning, so that's great. He 
already knew I liked him, and was like "Jesse, [I'm going to be honest 
with you], you know I can only see you as a friend, right?"

Sucks to suck, I guess. I've gotten used to the idea that I'm not going 
to find someone. I had to comfort him like two hours later over an 
existential crisis (and then dropping his phone off an outdoor 
stairwell. Not his fault. Aluminum is slippery). I hope he's okay. He 
asked to be left alone for a few days. I'll respect that, but I did let 
him know that I'm here if he needs me. Legit, don't die. I need my 
friends alive.

I need myself alive too, but less so.

Please, Lord, let this be a good day. A really good day. A really, 
really good day. For myself and everyone around me. I don't want to keep 
feeling bad all the time. I was only awake for a total of around nine 
hours all of yesterday. My body forced me to rest - for better or for 
worse. I took energy from the tired ground.

Now then, on to watching ASMR videos until I get back to my bed again.