One of the bits of advice that Julia Cameron gives in The Artists Way is to
"do the mending" -- that is, literally do the mending that needs to be done
(sewing up holes in clothes, loose threads in blankets, etc) -- or to take and
do what she calls "artist brain activities" -- things that require little mind
but allow for the subconscious to process all what it needs to process. Think
doing the dishes, taking a shower, taking out the garbage, these sorts of
things. These sorts of things are what help us to clear our internal blocks and
move forward with what's needed. This works in tangent with the advice that
I like from Dr. Gladys McGarey's book "The Well-Lived Life" that focuses on
allowing for movement even when it feels like you can't move at all. I'm not
saying that this advice is necessarily the golden standard for all of your
needs, but I've found it helpful as tools to help me manage my own mental
health and keep moving even when I feel emotionally paralyzed. 

I found myself needing a bit of calm today from all the emotions that keep
welling up about moving and wanting to start a relationship with the person
that I love and holding out hope that it all will work out. As it does with
these sorts of things, the emotions go up and down and up and down, and
navigating these waves is a hard thing for any human to do. So, I made my
coffee with my siphon coffee maker (which makes it taste SO good by the way
lol), put on some music, grabbed my sewing materials, and started mending the
old quilt that I sleep with. The quilt belonged to my dad, who I think maybe
got it from his parents/grandparents/god-grandparents (but to be honest I
can't remember anymore). It does have quite a lot of cigarette burns in it
lol, but I suppose they give it history. There are a few parts on it which the
main fabric came apart at the edges from the patchwork, so I took a few
minutes to sew a corner and a small strip along one of the sides back down.
I'm no master at sewing, but thankfully it's not rocket surgery, so the fix
was able to get done after the second attempt lol.

I *could* have possibly used my grandmother's sewing machine, a Pfaff 1222e
from the late 70s/early 80s, but I figured hand-sewing would be less riddled
with possible issues, plus I wouldn't have to rewind the bobbin with a
different color thread. I learned how to use the machine once and then had to
re-learn it just a few days ago when I wanted to fix a hole in one of my pants
pockets that's been bothering me for a while now. I figured it would be
tighter than my hand-sewing, but good gosh I struggled trying to use it. It
turned out the machine definitely needed some oil especially around the part
where it hooks the top thread to pull up the bottom thread, which was a pain
to figure out, but thankfully possible due to some YouTube videos which were
filmed (and compressed) a decade ago, plus a few forum posts. I did finally
get my pocket fixed, after getting mad, giving up, and trying to fix it once
by hand only for another hole to show up lol.

I suppose writing phlogs like this are another way in which I occasionally
engage in this sort of movement, as I don't feel too much pressure to
necessarily write "right" (read: perfectly). I've thought about making Tiktoks
or YouTube videos as an outlet, but I think it's a much more intimidating
prospect, as there is the prospect of a much larger, more vocal, more
judgemental audience. Plus, it's harder to wing that and still make something
of reasonable quality lol. But yeah, anyhow, I just felt like writing this
today. I don't feel the best I've ever felt, but I'm sure things are working
out for me and will work out. I'm just making movement where I can and trying
to be grateful for everything I have and enjoy the moment that I'm in while
making small steps toward the things that I do want. I just needed to take a
step back today and breathe. Do the mending. Enjoy some stillness.

Anyhow, that's all for now! Until next time!