"All About Love," 
by bell hooks 

from chapter 'Ten - Romance: Sweet Love"

 "True love is a different story. When it
 happens, individuals usually feel in touch
 with each otehr's core identity. Embarking 
 on such a relationship is frightening 
 precisely because we feel there is no place
 to hid. We are known. All the ecstasy that we 
 feel emerges as this love nurtures us and 
 challenges us to grow and transform. Describing
 true love, Eric Buttersworth writes: 'True love
 is a peculiar kind of insight through which we 
 see the wholeness which the person is--at the 
 same time totally acceping the level on which
 he now expresses himself--without any delusion
 that the potential is a present reality. True
 love accepts the person who now is without 
 qualifications, but with a sincere and 
 unwavering commitment to help him to achieve
 his goals of self-unfoldment--which we may
 see better than he does.' Most of the time, 
 we think that love means just accepting the
 other person as they are. Who among us has 
 not learned the hard way that we cannot
 change someone, mold them and make them into 
 the ideal beloved we might want them to be.
 Yet when we commit to true love, we are
 committed to being changed, to being acted
 upon by the beloved in a way that enable us to
 be more fully self-actualized. This commitment
 to change is chosen. It happens by mutual  
 agreement. Again and again in conversations the
 most common vision of true love I have heard 
 shared was one that declared it to be
 'unconditional.' True love *is* unconditional,
 but to truly flourish it requires an ongoing
 commitment to constructive struggle and change.
 
 The heartbeat of true love is the willingness
 to reflect on one's actions, and to process and
 communicate this reflection with the loved one.
 As Welwood puts it: 'Two beings who have a soul
 connection want to engage in a full, free-ranging
 dialogue and commune with each other as deeply
 as possible.' Honesty and openness is always the
 foundation of insightful dialogue. Most of us  
 have not been raised in homes where we have seen
 two deeply loving grown folks talking together.
 [...]
 
 As long as we are afraid to risk we cannot know
 love. Hence the truism: 'Love is letting go of
 fear.'"
 
-pg. 185-186 in this copy

--card catalogue entry 6 Apr 2026

-personal notes: 
 return to the entryway, and see log from same date