(thinking) past > . < (senses - measurements of the past)

   We see the past. We think in the past. Life is driving backwards
   with a rearview mirror for a windshield and we think we are
   moving forwards. But we never know what is about to happen in
   front of us - behind the mirror we are looking at.

   It's just the nature of things. We are ANTICIPATION machines,
   using the past to come up with SPECULATIONS about the future.
   And speculations are many. We find patterns - we love finding
   patterns - and predict that the future will behave just like it
   did in the past.

   When it doesn't, we're surprised.

   The surprise causes an emotional response, which makes a new
   pattern built up of old patterns. We're rarely aware of the
   process as it happens.

   But the new pattern feels just like an old pattern - because
   it's built upon old patterns and we often say, ''Oh, well, this
   is the reason why.'' and we explain what happened immediately
   AFTER the event, believing that we knew it all along when,
   really, we didn't. We constantly rewrite history and this is
   perfectly normal human behavior. Having reasons is comforting as
   we tend to find the feeling of uncertainty quite unpleasant.

   So we drive backwards through life, looking through a window
   that is actually a giant mirror looking backwards, never knowing
   what is about to happen in front of us, from behind the mirror.

   Simple predictions like those in physics tend to work well,
   because we learn from the age of 3 months how to view the world
   upside down and backwards, for that is how we actually see. We
   gain control by using the past to predict the future, gaining
   control of our limbs and vocal chord muscles, ,and even
   predicting that an object will remain there after we blink our
   eyes or look away. It usually does; the peek-a-boo game is part
   of that training process.

   But when something disappears forever - like death or loss, we
   become three month old babies again, our predictions about the
   future are suddenly wrong. Our prediction machine was hit from
   behind the mirror were looking at as the future crashes through
   and everything we thought we knew... is wrong, and we face the
   uncertainty of life head on for a time - usually for about a
   year as we recover from the trauma of the extremely unexpected.

   But friends and family patch up our mirror for us and we're
   usually back to driving backwards, looking backwards, thinking
   the future will look like the past... but with new painful
   patterns that we try to shove far into the future, behind the
   mirror, hoping the monsters never reappear.

   Kenneth Udut, 6/22/14