shitty biochemical transmitter chemicals which squirt in
   patterns that represent dissatisfaction / resentment / anger /
   frustration / depression are the Gateway Drug.

   Drug 'em all. Stick out your tongue and have a happy tab.

   Better still, all drugs, including marijuana, alcohol, food,
   heroine, cocaine, coffee, water, should just be taken anally to
   increase nutritional absorption which frees up the Scientist's
   mouths so they can keep saying shit.

   "Study finds", my ass. How 'bout "let's study a popular subject
   that will get a lot of approval and result in more funding for
   our pet projects that we _really_ care about". Bah.

   [that's not to say it might not be right - I'm sure it is. I
   just hate the whole "gateway drug" BS. Reminds me of "fried egg"
   commecials in the 80s. Hated that shit. So stupid].