It's probably what led me to biofeedback. I used to get into
   states my mother referred to as "inconsolable".. I don't know
   what that REALLY meant to this very day. I just remember things
   getting to me, getting tunnel vision, ears ringing, surroundings
   echoing. Anxiety / Panic attacks and stuff.

   Or waking up in the middle of the night, dead. That was always
   fun. Try to move? Nope. Dead? yeah. Didn't happen all the time,
   but a few times was enough. Heck, once was enough.

   Going through notes-to-self through the decades, I found some
   stuff before the age of 24 that talked about depression. Seems
   like someone else wrote some of that stuff, but it's close
   enough to me to know that it's me. smile emoticon

   Played around with new age-y stuff after the biofeedack stuff.
   Oddly helpful. Learning lucid dreaming was my only USEFUL
   take-away; the stuff about ancient aliens and crud was fun for
   sci-fi but my BS meter was always pretty strong and after a
   time, it kicked in on that. Experience teaches best, so if I
   hear a theory that seems good, I test.