[1]kenneth-udut-middle-school-special-ed Trouble is, I only want
   to be myself and be helpful to humanity as a whole but from my
   moral/ethical standpoint. I can be convincing about many
   arguments: I'd make a decent defense attorney - always knew that
   (if I had the impetus to speak in front of people using full
   body language and engagement, which I don't), rather than a
   prosecutor. I also had considered political writing: But even
   there, I'm too much of a social anarchist to be any good to any
   politician. Minister/religious leader was always in the cards
   even at a young age; yet there's nothing I could stand behind
   with full confidence and be convincing about. Same with
   professorship. What field? I'm a generalist: every field has to
   cross-reference each other, bringing together the
   best-of-the-best from each in a manner by which one can discern
   true values for themselves. So, I dunno. My #1 profession in a
   test I took in 2002 (paid for it too) pinned me perfectly:
   "middle school teacher, special ed." Other things were coach,
   professor, minister, all the stuff I normally get on those
   things. But what struck me about this: middle school is the age
   of tumultuous emotions - the beginnings of a different kind of
   abstract thinking than one does when they're little and the end
   of a period of "little scientist/dreamer" - mixing together
   awkwardly like brackish sea water/fresh water where alligators
   and crocodiles can live side-by-side. And special education is
   illuminating as well: Special ed is not just people who are
   "slow" (I hate that word because it's incorrect: they're not
   slow, they process differently than what the school system is
   accustomed to) - but also the "talented and gifted" - in short,
   anybody outside of the bell curve. So, what's my place? At the
   moment, right here, doing what I'm doing right now. I reach out
   to whoever happens to be in contact with me at the moment -
   right now you - it'll be someone else in a few minutes - and I
   consider them: what they might think like, how much tolerance
   they might have for my long-windedness... what they might find
   engaging or dull, and through that customized lens I try to
   present what I think of as accurate-enough in hopes that they
   will find it agreeable - even if they disagree. Or... rather,
   they they find ME agreeable - as a worthy person to engage with.
   Unless of course they're pissing me off. But they're my bigger
   challenge and I try to take them from where THEY are and meet
   them on their territory, while never fully leaving my own. ====
   This is probably the ONLY "career test" I've taken (the MAPP)
   that nailed me perfectly. Kudos to the test designers: they did
   something right. === And, to see this as I see it, forget the
   school part. Forget the "special ed" (slow + t+g), forget the
   age. Consider how we go through life in that "state": brackish
   water, neither fresh or sea water yet both simultaneously.
   Emotions and rational, dreams and realities converging
   awkwardly, throughout our lives. It's the realm I understand too
   well: the realm of "This does not fully compute". It's also a
   state shared by even the most certain of people because the
   "need to convince others" of their correctness stems from
   uncertainty.

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