Dirt keeps us from falling to the center of the earth due to
   gravity.* It would SUCK without dirt (literally): Imagine: 7
   billion people all balled up together in the middle?* What a
   mess. The vacuum cleaners are fine.* There's a party in The
   Abyss right now.* It's run by the Gender Fluidics With Male
   Leanings Society, Southeast.* They're an awesome group - they
   throw the best parties.* BUT: the HEPA filters WILL SPAGHETTIFY
   YOU if you forget to use the Neutrinoficator first.* Just say no
   to HEPA. Oh, and with regards to vacuums don't even MENTION
   Dyson.* His Sphere has negative gravity and we all get stuck to
   the far inside of it like a bad carnival ride that spins and
   spins and never ends.* When that kid next to you throws up his
   lunch, it splats on your face.* Awful stuff.* He needs to work
   on his design more before that Star Trek movie comes out in a
   dozen or so years in the past.