---begin _70 Poems, One a Day for Two and a Half Months_ _(mon14dec98 Through sun21feb99)_ _by Marek Lugowski_ mon14dec98 (first pome -- youse guys youse gals) --------------------------------------------------------- heya heya, youse guys youse gals usenets i have a psychtrix now brand new brand x and here are my todooos she says: write me a pome every day like a journal and bring them to me weekly in bunches like radishes like daffodils like sassy seven-color separations of coated stock adverts in glossy magazines like unforgettable ungettable chicago skies. she smiles brown eyedrills coring clinical little samples she says: mondays. 5pm. she like mondays. she is like the best of mondays. with a mt. mercy cherry pie. a mint on top. so heya heya, useguys usenets usegals comment and cauterize my pome now here right now. and i will energize my bonnie psychtrix (for modesty and privacy not her real name) of sinew altogether altogether nice nice. they say the blue jean came outta french port town: de nimes. our blue skies chicago today shone a mild worn-out denim in sun. sun speaks the voice of healing. psychtrix wants your voices too. on the count of one moo. two moo. many. moo. i so luv u of many many animoos. smile yer in my camera. let us moo've towards read right return -- port side calling. these tshirts brother are now too small. sister sister was shoppin for some-thin in petites through small to fit. these tshirts. to flit in and out of them. the body bit. like snakes bit you know. those paradisio eves. like godzilla toons and three-d glasses for the very first time in a five and dime. ever so meanwhile on hold like a lighted torch song. just take. just take your oblong curve of waist and shudder and shut it. like a case like a coffin like a marmalade nighttime city sky. just take your centrum plus iron girl just take your time while shoving in a flowing smudging continuum'ed. just tensing. not teasing ya. meant ya no harm now. and forever. Marek Lugowski 14 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois tue15dec98 (who cares? who cares? i do.) ------------------------------------------------------------ sometime in ninet)19(een eigh)80(ty-f)5(ive ?lied under oath? !!sure made a gorgeous frosted frosty government woman so laugh out loud through her kissy made-up face turned momentarily through the pancake of ceilings to the sol-skies delicate like arecibo en puerto rico, nunca nunca turned to sol by it)montan~a(self. her eyes were like xobject570's hot and brown suns. how many are there? this is a serious question. well, all billions and billions of them not to call sagan (polish for kettle) a teevee personality: cosmos was then on the network look-see. my most credible torturer was she-beautiful she had those so-shone eyes. had those articulated faces she had those fuckme for each and every)1(one of the fifty states and for all)E( the territories protectorates and commonwealths for now and forever and still would get no for an answer (tired yet sweetie?) from me kinda dazzling kinda i'm king -- kate bush -- just as i'm king i begin... ...go on, answer under oath the question: "have you ever advocated bigamy?" uh... I say, come to think of it... ...laugh... laugh... savor her sparkle... the tooth?not?work laugh laugh sooooo full of cox orange pippin apple bit-in tartandbitter tartan of a scottish-italian-irish soup oh my god. oh my, oh my -- oh my total absence of god. did i lie under oath. who cares? who cares?? who??? i do. and she did not sign the form. a fuddy duddy mustachio -- galileo galileo galileo figaro -- queen -- of an old clerk read it all again to me hurriedly at a window frosted pane cross the stree... so help me god. who doesn't exit. deus does not... i remember the day. her name was heleine, perhaps only for the job. his i never kept. did i lie under oath tambien? jamer love un fille trieste: judge that is moi sez dat. in a this is my phd in suffering womenhood rueful samizdat. now. let's dicker. solitude for three wives and two gfs, please. I'm staying. and going. and going. gone. tell me where i am and how far. Marek Lugowski 15 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois wed16dec98 (s'ppose ya're saddam for a day. whatchu say.) -------------------------------------------------------------- first, you are making a major mistake making our women's gorgeous eyes dusty and red like that vulvic sea... but that's just for starters, part-ners. next, call me scheherezade and I will sing you a song and I will hope that I will... oh never mind. tired of stupid tricks of reality. not of reality, no. don't mind me, I'm just craxxoozy like the next guy. for all the marbles of asia, all the cold of montana all the gateways (to hell and to gates) for all things well designed that are these days swiss what will i miss, dearie, if i were to be saddam for a day faraway this time? echo beach -- martha and the muffins on erie: my job is very boring i'm an office clerk. Marek Lugowski 16 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois thu17dec98 * * * (a haiku) ----------------------------------------------------------- _strings_ xmass lousy tape i lost Marek Lugowski 17 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois fri18dec98 (poem for sarah mayes) ----------------------------------------------------- you are no more a crackpot than I a piece of amber set in silver elegantly in poland which is to say i would adore you around my neck one arm two arm any. ways. it is elegant simplicity of this one because it speaks to you the you adored sarah. you are one mother of an embedding space em-dash marek. have bedding will travel or host travellers Marek Lugowski 18 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois sat19dec.98 (incredibly good piano music & biathlon gun) ----------------------------------------------------------- the player has risen from my baldwin rosewood bench locking his lubridermmed hotwash-aching-skin fingers chicago city carpet of lights te deum est. de lirium est. 30 above: straight west -- azimuth zero to o'hare then west by northwest to kristie in her montana way ready to say: i under no rightful law of any country here or anywhere am crazy tonight under no light am i incapable of taking good care of me or of putting myself in your care kristie under no rightful law of any country or any place am i so imperfect tonight under no music did i play leaving no key key untouched messing up so very unoften under no gun law would i not do right by my warm happiness of a well-trembled biathlon gun truly target practiced. i would love to own my very own no man is an island biathlon gun my own biathlon skis my own biathlon poles my own biathlon suit. and sure i could go out and buy a gun denied me by ill law but sure i don't go out and buy me a gun denied me by ill law because i do not need one just yet just now just so. but i would love a biathlon gun ...for christmas for hanukkah... ...for ramadan ...for norway ...for sweden ...for iraq ...for the burned macedonian kids in that discoteque as a measure of precise mourning trembling ever ever evah evvahh ...eva getting preciser. as i do not have as yet where to shoot (wisconsin? ohio?) this biathlon gun of mine i do not have a need to have one but i would so love one: for... ...i am a jolly good fellow ...for i am a jolly good fe-ellow for i am a jolly good fe-eh-lllllowww ...that nobody could deny. please messenger deliver to me _mmmmmyyyyy_ very own olympic-grade gun care of me clearly stated in simplicity claramente marking on the outside of the box "one unloaded brand new or excellent condition biathlon gun" address: 5445 north sheridan road. north sheridan road. unit 3003. inmate in remission in fully ready and cocked position: marek lugowski. ...for he is a jolly good fellow that no ill in illinois can deny. Marek Lugowski 19 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois sun20dec98 (Note Pad: wedding poem #1) ------------------------------------------------------------ hiya. it's 20 december 1998, and this is marek lugowski typing. i just bought this at the micro center on elston, in chicago, and in the parking lot, while rolling my cart back to my car, i decided to give this computer, this mac powerbook g3 with dvd ...to Kristie as a wedding present. come and get it, kristie! i love you! four tab stops one em-dash space marek (lugowski) four tab stops 5445 north sheridan road 3003 four tab stops chicago comma space il 6064 Marek Lugowski 20 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois mon21dec98 (excalibur found. to a good homme.) ----------------------------------------------------------- yesterday out to the lake at eleven. you know they close parks in chicago at eleven. my hall-met laundering neighbor says you won't get arrested. met no cops met nobody but a distant white car pausing observing from foster. not _my_ rendezvous. beachcombed for pieces of styrofoam cups cig butts. bags and newsprint. did my time at the locked up cuz the city does not pee in the wintertime foster latrines per own sign-up witnessed by the silent assent of the world. picked more butts from amongst the muchness of mulch. in sodium glistening butts and wood look like two of one meld. yeah, the high sodium lamps make for interesting contrasts. what looks like trash from a distance turns to sleek brown leaf on approach. coat of evening dews or rain glistenings. my big reward comes upon me unexpected. kicked at it and pulled out of the sand a looming semi-straight semi-sabre shape: a bent ex-sign pole complete with a bent mounting plate. the high bright lights make the lake seem hoary and witchy scottish-like, velvet in the dark, a loch. any moment hand of goddess is emerging with a _real_ sword. or nessie. or pieces like the wreck of edmund fitzgerald.. walking with my new weapon or staff i feel quite the idiot and actor am thinking this is silly yet not. had i found a semi-automatic weapon -- would i not take it to turn it in. what to do with a single-whack sign pole? used it as sllooow pointer to read someone's "laws of nine" painted large in yellow on the storm wall between berwyn and catalpa. my back to the shore front to the water my back resting comfortably against the honeycomb cluster's glow: my own home thumping in a soft eye-breathing polaroid at me behind me: the vrooming the swishy the coming the going the relaxed midnighty the lake shore driving told the bemused polite doormen will use it for art. in my apart-ment facing west now rests: a car on blocks: on steele's lisp on gray's anatomy. excellent blessers and handlers that they each are. ports and starboards of many an accomplice-student. sword-art lake-given easy-pull from ambient sediment a new pulley -- mounted on each of its two harsh raw ends my mind's make-believe blue plastic whirlies. then again, i see spacetime whirlies in rings of poles on gurneys's space snarling ones -- the cutting ones -- the twisted round steel ones -- the open hurt loops the merci merci merciful i.v. poles. of hours bed sore waiting. in triage. Marek Lugowski 21 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois tue22dec98 (a run-at-the-mouth music & marry-money stuff prose pome) ----------------------------------------------------------- tuesday, twenty-second of december. i'm getting the hang of the white keys on the piano for some very simple yet powerful serialist music. it is serialist because i play like a lathe -- a cord, the same thing, like a forkball in baseball, held with just two fingers, index and middle -- shifted an octave. intermittently. it sounds vaguely renaissance or now. then i shift less than an octave and play in unison again. then back to the basis vector chord, the forkball. i don't know which keys are which but it sounds spine- shivering. i'm fantasizing that my neighbors are finding excuses to throw out garbage and thus get a closer listen to my electrifying eel music. cuz that is what it is. music for women to go mad for me for. there might be one too many fors in that line but who cares. music to luv marek by. well, here is wishing for the love at slight and customary delay -- in the so-called living room, of which i have plenty, i assure you. freedom means having nothing scheduled at exactly the same times. and no phone calls!!! have me a postcard driven home from montreal resting on the piano where music customarily lies in sheets it shows two scenes, a golden parkscape in maple fall, a downy snowy street on one white card, signed "montreal" with an accent mark. it is no longer a joke of mine that this is my music, resident on the piano -- autumn for kristie, winter for martina. it is. the landing beacon theme for my gurtrix, asia, completes my musical three-leggedness. no, i am not mad or fanciful. this is all necessary ingredients. it is hard work working to get married to three women at synchronicity in nearly glacial time frames on global custom and privacy scales and by word of mouth alone! two of whom don't know it yet. or so i must concede as likeliest. i stake my dead-serious exhilaration on principles of common decency which are: meritorious pursuits get listened to it is meritorious to to make people happy. hey. i am people too. veritable multitudes. and i make others happy. just picture our distributed globular little marriage in consular offices of our respective countries. exasperation has never snared as tightly as my plan would. c'mon. the masochism throes of the bureaucrat are nearly alone worth it. won't you help? not exactly sure how... possibly as stand-ins for target practice?... it's all biathlon: the targets are black on white, paper, just like sheet music. and the playing is most exacting, just like the shooting, just like skiing. staccato. glissando. Marek Lugowski 24 December 1998 Cincinnati, Ohio ++ (pronounced plus-plus, meaning add 1): we are all wives, me too. wed23dec98 (dunno what else to say) ----------------------------------------------------------- it's 3:21 eastern standard time. i'm in cincinnati. in the other room dad is making newspaper noises. he won't go to bed until i do. i just got here from chicago a couple hours ago. it would be unconsociable to type anymore. good night. he says "hey, zasrancze", which playfully casts itself as something close to "eh, shithead". we are very relaxed here. it's almost like mates at sea. tempers can and do flare up like on a ship, too. good night redux as dad takes the bathroom. Marek Lugowski 24 December (early xmas eve) Cincinnati, Ohio thu24dec98 (explaining network as i feel it today) ------------------------------------------------------------ the skies over day xmass eve in cincinnati are feather white and baby blue dad drives our mulberry jetta unsettlingly to me he says i overreact to traffic triage like mother i do. i might be hypomanic i might be more in tune or more out of tune with cincinnati with my shifted (to cincinnati) riding with my shifted to dad driving i think of our bodies our minds as music layers with shadowy presences as players it is as if the bodies and the minds were embers and air and the layers of players flames. who is to say that a musical piece is not shared by many musical pieces in turn. who is to say it is a piece on its own. that's simple: he or she who is doing the naming. i look the raffia and poplar racking up register girl at michaels crafts in the eye. something gets sent and received both ways. that's the network. the license plates conveying slogans is network too. any happenings sipped from a glass by straw, zipped by passing by and noticing, lipped like drinking from a glass. any three things taken together by fourth. change of guard. different three, and a different fourth. that's network. fanciful? but what if true. and what if known to many but not known to me or to you until very recently. the prosaic word for it all is continuing education. allowed to graduate. allowed to read the meniscus against a notch and remember the vivid vision of it. the true measure of man is her or his humility. at recognition of oh wow i am on a network. reading body language more than ever. reading subtleties trampled before by insensitivity. enjoying good design or gnostic acrostic. being toyed with, toying in turn. being serious too serious to enjoy an obvious joke. why is it easier to be sly than to be slied to? it's like saying hi across the sky to a bird. it says hi back in the pattern of its flight. note when the world blinks you blink with it note wherever you are there-ever you go. roger, will co. whisper the following or say it out loud: we have network. touchback. one. two. touchdown. Marek Lugowski 24 December 1998 Cincinnati, Ohio fri25dec98 ----------------------------------------------------------- unpleasantness, our cincinnati home, christmas day. mother invited her new polish friends complete with 25yearold titus from california, for tomorrow. also poet and for weeks now unable to follow up on the contact to me asgp or mine. my heckles are not in upward and locked position. unbeknownst to me, ostensibly a double date of sorts as the grown-ups may pair up to play bridge. titussitting. i bring our running conversation to a head: reporting from chicago, calm and certain of having played my hand correctly, this is yours truly. my mother, sugar higher than normal, asleep at the mandatory "i did not fall asleep" phonecall. at ease, child. at ease, father. we have a make-up (home and away) session for next weekend, just the new year's day, just us skins. this is a recording. polish-jewish anthems at bellum. mother said "if it was a girl this would be a nonissue." between sobbing. and i just bought the new pretenders singles cd. "there's one thing that you gotta do-ooo" i am heartless. i cross double cross and peel away per father-raper mother-stabber regulation. you can get any torque you want at marek's mom's restaurant. said i: "exactly true." by gentleman start your engine all's cool. we're only beads and there's so much string. we wove 30 strings together, i leave beads for 6 more and forget all the raffia. it's ok. it's only a week end. Marek Lugowski 25 December 1998 Christmas Chicago, Illinois sat26dec98 (death delineated -- in white -- in black shine of sodium) ---------------------------------------------------------- walking back on the cable-bisected hollywood leeway, going not the lee way. notice in glaring high shout sodium light the freezing splashing like salty slicks fresh. not on the lee side. crossing upon imagining: suppose i slipped yelped and splashed in no way to swim around the deadman's leeway in deadman's parka to the lee beach too steep to climb the storm wall too far from yelp to help besides -- just exactly _who_? the damned park closes at 11 any way -- lee or windward. and the almost all ebony homeless don't get no practice neehowtown nee lee town that works! at rescue the almost ebony-only piano kids i'm special so special, i've gotta get some of yer (blocks-away sheltered) attention give it to me... cuz i... gonna make you see... keep yer fucken futting by yerself lugowski... Marek Lugowski 26 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois sun27dec98 (ruth the over the wall neighbor) ------------------------------------------------------------- ruth the over the wall neighbor has a grown son he gifts her with his discard apple mac computer much as i gift my parents with a powermac one he has no patience to sit down and explain neither do i -- to my parents somehow i have the patience here and just enough free breath to skirt by here to skirt my stuffed sinuses to skirt by here to skirt my dried mouth to make things plain and to make plain things happen. dang. why am i so talking of skirts all now all there. undercover blush. sushed. Marek Lugowski 28 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois mon28dec98 ----------------------------------------------------------- i slept a lot today. after i went to work. did not go swimming. played the piano. one of the whites appears missin when messin in action. toonin time? i glowed back at my outside-lookin-in (glow-in) city. played the bejesus out of the smiths suffer little children did not ssstroke my nonexistent cat girlfiend grrlfrond wuaf did not ssstroke my genius (hello, my name is mister flint) (even when i fall to pieces i remain sharp) did not make you smile till now. bozo. bozette. 15 minutes with you, oh, i wouldn't say no. he wanna hold your haaa-aaand. i too wanna hold your hand. got two? splendid. tally-ho. and lavender *iz* my favourite colour. ditto. oh! et ici itchy. ou c'est itchy ici? Marek Lugowski 29 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois tue29dec98 ---------------------------------------------------------- i can't and i won't tell ya what the psychtrix said i did important things today and played the piano and went swimming but to dwell on all that would be hedo. erm. he do. nis. tic. end of quote. there. denial never felt so gooooood. i can see why humankind invented womankind to in turn invent it. ice. ice. i cee. ;) i'm so in denial i could wrap mother christmas and father sky and have left over for all the condom wrappers in china. remember, if it is made in china, it may be related to your doggie in the hanging and smoked position. yes, am being nasty. so what? a shrew, yes, i am ashrew today. but only mock, as in moccasin shrew. love love me do. you know i'm ashrew... Marek Lugowski 30 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois wed30dec98 (back in the oh-eytch) ---------------------------------------------------------- wowwowwoooooo. back in cincy back in cincy. back in the see. i. en. see. why. boy you don't know how funny you sigh! back in cincy, back in cincy... mom has braided 42 new strings one each for a _strings_ book -- all right!! there's a minor calamity (no, not our calamity jewelz!) entwined in that, but it shall go untold: all tell and no will makes a boy a bore of a boytoy. double entiendes por todos to see. dot dot dot three. hey boy, be reasonable now. it's either or. both. can you tell i'm high on life? and not even a girl in sight lots in sights. no reasonable offer confused. em-dash marrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrek zipping the world for a better today zip zip zip Marek Lugowski 30 December 1998 Cincinnati, Ohio thu31dec98 ----------------------------------------------------------- my new year's resolution: skip the plant stage skip the fish stage skip the caged birds stage can't have dog where i live stage go all the way to have two girlfriends stage with no scratching and clawing so typifying the first skipped over stages. some say i am impudent some say i am ambitious i say i am just a good home cookin' engineer distributing the stresses and the kisses Marek Lugowski 31 December 1998 Cincinnati, Ohio fri1jan99 (begrrlfriending quartetes for amanda warren: spring) ----------------------------------------------------------- heavy, heavy with hair lithe forearm rests this could be you this could be me this could be kristie how inloveness may reduce to the forearm i love my forearm and I could readily lick yours oh amanda warren even your erudite name could be a slicked licked pretty grrl / pretty boy forearm all my life i was sure i could tell the difference can i? Marek Lugowski 4 January 1998 Chicago, Illinois sat2jan99 (begrrlfriending quartets for amanda warren: winter) ----------------------------------------------------------- winter is here. your forearm is hidden from view. all the more undressing for me and you. and true enough for your forearms too! they beg to be bagged like so much butterfly in the sky. they beg to be sunkissed like nutritional breakfast in bed. they beg to be bedded even held calderesque sans the rust held in air by the wrist by the kitchen sink. they beg in unison with all your begging lips. Marek Lugowski 4 January 1998 Chicago, Illinois sun3jan99 (begrrlfriending quartets for amanda warren: summer) ----------------------------------------------------------- in summer all that fends you from me and you in the fen yet again is likely a ribbon of the north dakota road and one flag-waving bin there done dat summer dress sun coats the forearm and the rest of you to latte yummy yum. it cannot be stressed enough that girls are pretty a priori. amanda warren, as eye can touch and fingertip see: a priori you are pretty to me. Marek Lugowski 4 January 1998 Chicago, Illinois mon4jan99 (begrrlfriending quartets for amanda warren: autumn) ----------------------------------------------------------- presence and absence and your forearm arm in arm with mine. We are forearmed and forewarned. for example: they say the length of your forearm is the length of your foot. honey. when is the last time we checked? no. we don't *have to* take our socks off. but we wanna. Marek Lugowski 4 January 1998 Chicago, Illinois tue5jan99 (being as how i can think like a girl) ----------------------------------------------------------- on a cold chicago night like tuesday night being as how i can think like a girl i take my pandortrix box and give it a shake-shake-shake and yer booties shake with me shake-shake-shake chaka-khan and layered flow of honey shake-shake-shake all denominations and true colors of teensluts in god we trust (they are good women all) eh men a men this is all my money this is all my memories so out with it i show i love-o-sophie-cally lay it out in tableaux of past blackjacks and in sums well beyond what counts lay that is -- non lay that is up to -- exact at -- or burnt: those 22s and over (and way over) of just then hoping just then to be friends just then to be right there on call. Marek Lugowski 6 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois wed6jan99 ----------------------------------------------------------- piano for one. flame. flame out. flame. flame. flame out. flame out. flame my treat. chord. chord. chord (2 octaves) out. chord out. chord out. co-. chord out. co-. co-. cordially. Marek Lugowski 6 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois thu7jan99 (mince meat pie) ---------------------------------------------------------- destiny is finding yerself doin what's done at destination for example warming the bed with three ex-bottles of kefir you know the kind the same that uppity produce stores put freshly 'queezed 32 ounce of o.j. into i am dead serious. if i were dad serious them thangs'd be persons and have vaguely pronouncable names or not da wife dependin there i go by the grace of i, downing meself to one only so i say if elected i won't serve if nominated i won't run this i have in common with all hose adverts for i am a hoser. like bridget laughed out loud: when fluorescent lit we was shoppin well past midnite "marek, those are white girl hose!" always was a nohose man. Marek Lugowski 7 December 1998 Chicago, Illinois (reminiscing Dallas, Texas) fri8jan99 (a secret) ------------------------------------------------------------ here is a secret not really secret on network, thoughts and company taken together make things happen. no worse and likely a whole lotta love better than other forms of human and otherwise communication. here's a concrete example from living, not from logic: when a group of people are together there are patterns on top of the bodies present that if looked at with peripheral vision or directly (perhaps both) for "body language: the overt positions of the body and the movements of body parts of all bodies present" tell and communicate so much more than words of the present bodies taken separately as streams or as record of the time. at one point in some community group this last november in the hospital for behavior modification psychiatry i was convinced that we were "acting out" a distributed system equivalent to an atomic clock. that we _were_ an atomic clock for something. because it was important and not just as a demo. perhaps as an amplifier for other communication? i don't want to say more for fear of ridicule. and because those are my intuitions. and because that stuff is off topic here. and that the invitee-cherokee starting the hearth, the ceremonial cherokee starting the mirth, the one starting an another ceremony and present for that ritual the throwing of a little fuck a little joy into it was a necessary part of any such thing. and a clock is -- like -- the least complex thing alive one would posit or ponder. a virus is a clock on its own dime. acting out in a trajectory of spacetime. is that a secret? or is that just a private thought that could be not secret that could be. understood and used. we have network. roger. from our vantage point at last. we have selfaware network. we always had poetry. but now we have network. Marek Lugowski 8 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois sat9jan99 ---------------------------------------------------------- today was a good day and a sunny day. we went to work on the weekend and had a field day. even though rene doesn't work there anymore finally fixing once and for all that "add third slash here and be done" bug the update of which we have now thrown away 3 times in the span of more than 3 months through the abject communal misuse of a piece of shit chastity belt microsoft-owned known as visual source save but not us ever again, not this bug, not anymore. naturally i treated for a feast at a persian restaurant naturally we ate way too much and then dessert. my idea. naturally this was required ceremonially naturally we live digitally eat with fingers too when called upon. but reality is analog computed and di-spirals on. too few know the joy of work well done because they have no work either any or any that can be well done. too few know of feasts eaten in ethnic restauranten _smile_ devoid for a moment of any awareness that somewhere not too far people are homeless or subhomed hungry and poor or subfed. a crystal (so oscillating at multihundred megahertz) of slipper-instant comfort this this present obliviousness and that. Marek Lugowski 9 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois sun10jan99 (another manly secret: striking at or from the heart) ------------------------------------------------------------- a pot handled by its handle eaten from: in midair by means of a spoon a glass visions pot the middle-sized i, standing astride this pot is handled by my left hand as if a killing-sharp knife as when a knife is handled in one's own left hand to strike one's own chest or when this knife is lifted and arc-swung so movie-like to strike another's or a surface of a tree: a trunk, a house, a stump just this for here for now -- i, struck by the symmetry a heavy visions honeypot which i can see through as i eat through a dingy winter windshield a nice polish barley soup (made all the more delicious with american sour cream, italian racconto rotini -- yet a soup itself "new" and sixty-nine cents. and instant.) experience delicious in all dimensions. how this comes home to me to my grasp to my no wife no knife free to eat from the pot free from parents free at last free at last _smile_ solo standing without strife upright and stowing away my manly-man manly-made never done before soup position Marek Lugowski 10 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois mon11jan99 (hiding behind the computer?) --------------------------------------------------------- psychtrix says i hide behind the computer this is gateway to a future s.o. talk now a good friend i talk to on the computer in email says to this: look, you're like a carpenter who loves it who brings work home or works on things at home you are not hiding behind the workbench who is to say which say is right? i want a wench not just a workbench i propose that both i and the wench use and play on the workbenches already gave away the bestest bench to kristie (herself, the bestest wrench?) Marek Lugowski 11 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois tue12jan99 (to see 'um at the museum) --------------------------------------------------------- philip glass will finally be in my town when i'm sane to-t-to ssssseeee 'um at-t-t the museum. philip glass was to play the piano to mere 400 of us at the largest room of the contemporary arts center in cincinnati when i, tickets in hand, went instead insane for the first time of course, this is all chryssie hynde's fault being as i went insane at her concert (pretenders) yes on september 5 1980. pretenders. at my old school. philip glass conducting the philip glass ensemble in philip glass's and robert wilson's take on rumi monsters of grace eighteen and a fraction years later will finally be in my town chicago when i'm sane tickets not yet in hand can i score an appropriately important girl? my treat. if not. philip glass will be in my town when i'm sane and alone -- to see 'um at the museum. Marek Lugowski 13 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois wed13jan99 ------------------------------------------------------- marek's favorite scents are light and dark he don't keep his body in a cloud in the elevator or on the mingling floor oh sure one smells peaches demure oh please neutrogena t/gel could getcha to sneeze oh tame... mega papaya will make ya shout and declaim soaped up sam i am now, amanda. drench and rinse. he will baby you like the kitten in poutsome softfrenchporn with your own ritual orange. no deodorn. to adorn ya. no musks other than his own musk your own semi-shrill will spice the vine and send the chill up and down both'u spines. amanda. you've been ripening. pluck his luck. lighten up on the devotionals. here comes the sun. here comes the moon. they will say the toilet-scent industry only got them when they was wet to towel to dry when they was wet to sigh to towel they was them. selves. yeahthemselvesthey was. Marek Wojciech Lugowski 13 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois thu14jan99 ---------------------------------------------------------- some say you get over puppy love with a new puppy in house well if that were true i ain't illin' of puppy love: the new puppy's ontrack colortrack and she's oncomin': my hair is brown my eyes are blue and my dress is vivid red. hi, i am amanda so-and-so for the rca colortrack. if these colors don't look right to you... no no no, you you you. you are more than ok babe. could not ask for more. deep and murky and untold like a rusted oil drum on the sun's and wind's skim silver like that uss arizona is my dakota dickinson montana ft peck love all those patient crooks of the whiteman-dammed missouri my love so illin' is me -- is poppy love lives on the lard of laughters suns hard whispers loud in the cauliflowers of the cottonwoods mouths flagrantly yellow or mouths flamingly red plays in teams viciously as some kind of dragoons of labia when citified in a boy like me -- all the january's heroin Marek Lugowski 14 January 1997 Chicago, Illinois fri15jan99 ----------------------------------------------------------- she has veins in her eyes and her ice in her veins has gone the way of global warming as worming in her heart has gone the way of north by northwest her singling telephone lines sing the twang splendored in ice she herself whispers without today is snow day and she cannot get out except by the clickety-clackety sing. chlorine. hell i showered and i'm still musking of chlorine. class of one, today we shall exchange notes on the body chlorine. good, murmurs the fuzzy-wuzzy just how wuzzy was she hot-to-trot ice-encrusted line-she we likes chlorine she clickets-clackets at me serene ooh-you you-hoo you knows how to make a line-o-type grrl sing and cotton to something white something marine... Marek Lugowski 15 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois sat16jan99 (if she were) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- if i were sheba she conceits from m-m-massachusetts i would plaster ancient silver moneys on my most enticing parts, hee-hoo can you even imagine an evocative grrl say such darts?? would come naked glistening with the sweat of semi-precious stones matrices of warmth all necessarily amber necessarily baltic necessarily and would stand in starlight, still, so that first sight of me was striking, but also light-lullababing light-grasping softly and light-holding by wrists an ether-real, glowing goddess, not to be denied. denied passage, denied denial, denied soft dry then moist kisses vaguely... instead i stand here bundled, bulky, hardly likely it being the height of chicago summer... union station matron, our lady of the amtrak, our sweetness of never-gazed at hushing librariana mah mississippi queen red-faced rustic armed against the sharp, big-shouldered wind, wind to raise skirts by -- the rush and the push of the elevated/subway but helpless before him who is to come. as helpless as he is where can i hide? where can she hide? Jenni Merri Parker / Marek Lugowski (A Small Garlic Press, directors) 16 January 1999 Somerville, Massachusetts / Chicago, Illinois sun17jan99 (the flow the knife the flow) ---------------------------------------------------------- cutting up my own vegetables affords me a metaphor of cosmological passage whenever i am getting better from mania invariant: a crossing of onion layers of honesties making corrections admissions calibrations of affinities no really this wasn't like that at all yes yes yes i really meant it all of it well... no this has no chance of ever happening yes there is still magic here beyond explaining or simply this cutting -- this flowing -- has made me a better man as the knife cuts every body -- the spacetime -- flows around it a building is a knife it cuts a remembrance is a knife it cuts a sound is a knife it cuts a silence is a knife it cuts a congealing is a knife it cuts her face i snap-cut in transit on the el -- all flows -- all knives i especially recall the puffy eyes the watery skin the cilia of transparent lashes saw her a cold puffin a waterlogged corn muffin a fit platonic shadow of the prettiest mousy girl a flow -- and a knife against the flow -- that's all we ever get in one of my fish-rainbowy disk-plastics trapped kate bush signs: all we ever wanted -- a great big hug. then again a crumbling face is a flow an aging building is a flow a jogging body is a flow a fish-rainbowy disk-plastic is a flow blood on the inside tries like hell to be a flow don't it so don't it it's sooo relative: a flow vs. a knife my robyn hitchcock is caught knifing and flowing in my other fish-rainbowy disk-plastic: she cuts like a knife she cuts like a wife. my suzanne vega is caught in yet another: my favorite plum lies in wait for me i'll be right here longing endlessly. i am. such a polyamory fishwife. i am. Marek Lugowski 17 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois mon18jan99 (both) ---------------------------------------------------------- blonde or dark both red or brown both french or indian both pj or pj harvey both oj or orange 'poo both girl herself or girl co-watching both gf or just friends both cuddly or snuggly both live free or die both Marek Lugowski 18 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois tue19jan99 (missing the foghorns) ---------------------------------------------------------- living in chicago i miss the great old foghorns from back east from up north don't miss the fog itself it rolls from the lake like cotton though barely inland well i'm barely inland somedays you can hardly see down to the ground today was pretty pert near that pretty as in heaven as the landing plane flies maybe i can buy the foghorn sound on a cd the famous fog horns of america track three -- york, maine track four -- port of milwaukee or maybe i should ask a mermaid friend of mine to boo faintly just before she kissed. Marek Lugowski 19 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois wed20jan99 (a jazz arrangement on thursday's child) ---------------------------------------------------------- i am wednesday's child because today is a wednesday and i don't have anything to do and i am this wednesday's child as sure as there's waking up to do on thursdays like this thursday sometimes i feel like sleeping straight through thursdays so that i can become triumphantly and through a feat of tunneling a friday's child -- a rare guest appearance surely nevertheless real and not defined as a friday's child i would hoot and loot and whoop it up to the tuesday thursday and saturday children i was bout to meet up with to do the dance owning to my being bad bad bad friday's child being as i would stay up and over yeah over their equally stupid midnight hour. Marek Lugowski 20 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois thu21jan99 (manual for friends far away and in need) ----------------------------------------------------------- press. right here. and right here. girl i gotta teach ya how to give decent eye massages to yerself. if all which is eatin ya up is supposed ta be done right squared away written filed and mailed you gotta sleep on it first anxiety is burning you up on both ends but don't fly by night fly by invariants: you need three to fly four to land i am no pilot to talk you down i am the jabbering teevee be your own calm sense now -- remembered, if need be you gotta do it on your own -- there's only you up there this is just a receipt for an outline of self-preservation the cliff notes edition now talk it down then take it easy and do as i say! invariant one the physical laws don't change across whathaveu human lines i am reminding you of the physical law -- obey it and if you cannot bring yourself to outright obey it vaguely assume it this is your physical law and this is your physical law on drugs (vaguely assumed) any questions? invariant two it is ok not to trust anyone but then you gotta make up the difference: run yourself on a tight schedule of postit notes if it comes to that invariant three keep me check here periodically and don't run away i am your airstrip beacon i am your squawker i am your lynn russell the talker for the umpteenth spin-me-round cnn headline i am your way past the midnight talker i am your hearth-break i am your coffee-break breaker breaker radio check pull up pull up dammit pull up invariant four the medical professional five times out of six knows good enough and better than the you ever did at the point of acute need know this arithmetic the math of greater than signs also the math of vital signs this concludes the best of the emergency alert broadcast system this was only the best Marek Lugowski 21 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois fri22jan99 ----------------------------------------------------------- driving home down indiana prairie night all you see is -- a light light here a light light there here a light there a light everywhere a light light mostly dim to very dark the night night it's fields not prairie but you can't tell it not without daylight how many of these lights harbor pretty she basketballers where do you wanting to go today on the chez gateway damn i wish i was a man sang 12 years ago san diego's cindy lee berryhill i'd be a california high school freshman girl i hear you. any chance i get to move in with you? two in body one in spirit. but... goes on the skinny sexy the most accusingly of west cindies damn i wish i was a man i'd have no fat chicks on the bumper of my lincoln damn i wish i was a man i'd be sexy with a belly like jack nicholson we stand accused -- wagging our sordid tails. where's the bone, bone chick, where's the bone. Marek Lugowski 22 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois sat23jan99 (the boston fern) ----------------------------------------------------------- the boston fern my parents host for me explodes a hendrix afro none to my credit. over 12 years ago it had been given to me by e. now it hangs in our cincinnati living room by the tv, a lantern from a train which no longer stops on our line just the same the fern's illuminating in see-through green the espn basketball or the beautiful laurie dhule on cnn norwegian-american -- struck to the quick i fantasize aloud -- what face what neck the fern is the main memento of e. other than the engagement ring come back naked in a two-fold of a letter a hard-luck stone serving a long term at the maximum security facility only occasionally visited by sis and mom prisoner of conscience and crossroads the fern is ours. the ring is mine to give. outside the rain fifties and the nightly ohio breezes inside the tv is slated to channel our martina hingis. the fern's mane is a silent amish witness to the espn two mopping up some basketball important to someone somewhere. they are running late enough for the parents to quibble over the channels -- like it would be me to watch rhode island. such stoic comic tragic retrogrades -- all these twisted on themselves all these connived lovings. such tangled roots and shoots such tangled roots and shoots. drench it. you know -- more water from under the bridge you know -- the one that burned. 23 January 1999 Marek Lugowski Cincinnati, Ohio sun24jan99 (want a date?) ---------------------------------------------------------- there was a colossal jam on the dan ryan tonight so I took the road to memphis instead so I fileted chicago up halsted until right on marquette. then on to lake shore drive by u of chicago and on up home. people, the south-central side of chicago is an autistic city all its own. englewood.... roselawn... but I also saw neighborly homes... so dark. so black. cuz only black people live there. chicago people, how can we live such a dual lie. the only bright lights: a laundromat and liquor stores and the chicken and bbq shacks sure, it was eleven at night but no trees droopin the little white lights like on michigan avenue north like at front of st. francis hospital in evanston people, there were times when i felt so scared that someone would just shoot me through the window to take away from me my running car well, it is running. why, wouldn't you? what would push you to riot in the streets these days or take my car? the 1999 winter on this day wasn't the date. Marek Lugowski 24 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois mon25jan99 (fantasy in blondes) ---------------------------------------------------------- this is to both of you, blondes and not so blondes: sweetness two is shooting streaks of blondeness like a wonderful painted butterfly dripping light its shadow wafting softly on a sunny breezy day pierced by sunshine and sexiness like an overhead lecture slide by light sweetness one is already blonde and ready to collide with her and me, given any possible collisions on the cobblestoned streets of my paved and twisted heart time butterflies like an arrow feed the sparrows the american white bread crumbs and giggle giggle curb curb bright water pools in shiny gleaming puddles i is a sunshine i is a shadow manager this is my poem to my number two sweetness in streaks who leaks the light upon the ground joe jackson put it so: would you be my number two me and number one are through i say through on to the blonde side of the rocketman-rocketwoman gravitational streak swoon. Marek Lugowski 25 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois tue26jan99 (my landing strip for sunshine one) ------------------------------------------------------------ imagine the piano keys laid down the line in octaves and within each eight -- a pentatonic scale: blacks in twos and threes. now buster let the man play on. sunshine one you are the girl but older in that at&t isp tv commercial... sunshine one you are a whole line in a haiku sunshine one while friendly and smiling you would blush. sunshine one i let you be now wondering -- where are you... sunshine one left you be all away from me cuz to do otherwise would be loserville sunshine one am no loser this is no loserville and i did not obnox on you but the long too long ago parting twangs that i have been missing you Marek Lugowski 26 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois wed27jan99 (uptown girl) ----------------------------------------------------------- "uptown girl..." you are old she says that's good! i says all the better to fill out the void and settle some of the fuzzy wuzzies that're battin around yer head and i'm new too! so you get lots. i am mean she says and i know she is shagging me like the abba said shagging me shagging you voulez-vous rendez-vous personally i take it nekkid as a lamb who together with this girlfigure lies down on broadway yes with his lioness you _are_ rotten. i like you she says. Marek Lugowski 27 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois thu28jan99 (oh to be the titans of zen) ---------------------------------------------------------- we have a rachel here in town she's as good as rachels come violin is her name and being best is her game and a half she has a website i say find it for yourself it don't take no brains just this poem and altavista one day a commuter train took out her hand but she's back now, storming the citadel one day in my own hospital stay i thought to myself that i'd like to play ravel's tzigane with rachel a brand new arrangement for two tzigane is ravel for furious solo violin and i play and compose psych ward-picked up and honed beginner pentatonic scale improv piano and if it took that much transcription say too much... we could then take it to flamenco dancing and then teach it to to to the people the hard shoe way nothing's gona change my world is just a happy song or just a downer song or a big fat lie or a portal for the entirely mortal titans of zen Marek Lugowski 28 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois fri29jan99 (my martina wins aussie open) ----------------------------------------------------------- my martina won the aussie open live on espn today melbourne -- against another teen from france hear the phone ring a ring a ring in chicago a ring in cincinnati are you watching asks dad and did you see her face light up in turn phone i it's all in the family martina martina's mom my parents and me my martina is getting better all the time better better better seven championship points though sat astride my blonde wood chair and pushed hard pulling hard harder hardest for my only martina i'm okay -- the chair -- noticably strained -- survived. Marek Lugowski 29 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois sat30jan99 ----------------------------------------------------------- i have so many worries running through me but when i hear of the chicago homeless being locked out of shelter on the hidden from winter downtown lower wacker drive i think of my own good luck and i think of what i am good for aside from employment as mistake-prone java programmer and quite apart from any flirtsome or jeery volunteered replies. i am world class in providing a home to one homeless person halina poswiatowska in the dry warm or wet icy running and gunning or set and slow in the cutthroat excellence of american english this decade. get your home game improved get a move on move on chicago. Marek Lugowski 30 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois sun31jan99 (the design of an early prototype) ----------------------------------------------------------- an unvailing at the auto show for me and you something for the two of us to look forward to: the touch that lingers on the eyelids on the lashes scarcely shadows the skin only to land in a microfondle upon the handle that is the ear it is an eerie smudge a jump a streak seeking the lovemaking upon the ladyship but not exclusively -- you too have fingers a touch slowed down to almost tai chi even brushing by with the heavenly arm celebrating the inclines and the niches a company of the smallish fractions of inch clinching the world championship ex equo with the other tai chi'ist ah the ahs of pleasing you of pleasing me of scattering the personal neighborhoods into vast cosmoses of arrivals arousals towards the local anasthesia for the daily asexual cautery of hurryupkwik andwait. Marek Lugowski 31 January 1999 Chicago, Illinois mon1feb99 (a poem in smalltalk, that is, prosaic lines) ----------------------------------------------------------- for Zita she's quite brilliant, actually let me say this of all the work done this century naturally, there are ways of measuring greatness then there's the perceived monolingual immortality you see where this is going my line breaks are what makes this prosody exemplary my heart breaks are what makes it poetry my condom breaks are what makes it tragedy and my notes are without equal but casual viewer ought to note the squirming fat lady for she is lovely, and for all she signifies when singing. Marek Lugowski 1 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois tue2feb99 (a divagation on why late she-teens are a heart attack) ----------------------------------------------------------- if i had a late teen she-kid (what's he mean?) i'd be the mother of all nerve wrecks i'd be a train wreck i'd be the housing projects being imploded i'd be a coffee flooded keyboard i'd be on fire i'd be (almost) on ice it's sooooo much easier to be in love with them from a safe distance. give them time to grow up. and their kin to die off. attraction is an almost general anaesthetic. soothes the next of skin. you just don't worry or hurry. just let the calendar slide. they're aging faster than you at 40. hippo birdy two ewe. attraction is damn close to general anaesthetic. yum! shesop'etty ah cahn't eel mah gum. so ifye'gonna be so'e atme (fo'allthis) jus'hitmehe'e andha'd. Marek Lugowski 2 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois wed3feb99 (in which we train ourselves to spell anxiety correctly) ---------------------------------------------------------- anxiety. which _bad_ way could things turn out? anxiety vs. self-awareness: which way are things turning out as i turn? anxiety vs. instinct: the inexpliable way of things turning out just so. anxiety vs. intuition: the dancing fleetfootedness of navigating unexpected turns correctly. oh love (vs. anxiety): urged on by proximity in oh so many spaces i confess manifold conflicts involving anxiety. note that rascal anxiety. pickin' on everyone else! Marek Lugowski 3 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois thu4feb99 ---------------------------------------------------------- living my life with invisible walls between me and what i want living my life with invisible walls between me and what i fear how come the ones for fear feel vulnerable to silently treacherously just giving way. Marek Lugowski 6 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois fri5feb99 ----------------------------------------------------------- which is prettier on a body knees or chin which sticks out when out of kilter knees or chin can you tell the person's character from their knees or chin yeah i know what the propaganda says disregard the propaganda viewed sideways a delish statuesque woman will most delight with knees or chin Marek Lugowski 6 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois sat6feb99 ----------------------------------------------------------- doesn't the fresnel lens of a lighthouse look like the structure of fish gills? has anyone looked at the repeating lenses and said that? so unlike your slr camera's single piece of glass communion wafer-style fresnel lens very well, i will be the first to mr. fresnel let me softly coo i'm in love witchu lighthouse lenswork how does it feel it feels like excellent optics tres excellent or however you spell it i love glass i have a little mourn whenever any breaks and a lighthouse beacon with its glass array is the venus on a half shell of glass anywhere Marek Lugowski 7 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois sun7feb99 (sunday's best: bad formal and informal verse with a fantastic spam-given informal coda) ----------------------------------------------------------- the conservation lore of the spanish war theodore the read my lips of a windows nt apocalypse the flaming crystals of her majesty's widowed pistils the ice and fire of iceland i so admire am saying mean-spirited nothings to an electronic visage never pictured save for typed words. lord it to her because she so wishes to be admired. transparent gaudy take on a gucci-princess at that. save a whale or give a sum of money to a charity. hell, assume clarity to write a decent poem without clumsily venerating yourself. do not sprout e-pigtails to come across sooo cute if you don't want them pulled. excuse me, have you ever been astute? no suit! no commute! Marek Lugowski 8 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois mon8feb99 --------------------------------------------------------- don't it ever feel like your feet are two kittens or perhaps two herons taking off and sitting down having a trajectorial conversation can't sleep well with all the sleeping done doing nothing -- stretching out under and over and around the covers but got me feet like kittens! playing one with the other Marek Lugowski 9 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois tue9feb99 ----------------------------------------------------------- gurtrix sends missive from the land far away i'm going on a trip so happy birthday now and my dear valentine oooh i wish they all could be illinois girls Marek Lugowski 11 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois wed10feb99 (carpet of lights) ---------------------------------------------------------- carpet of lights carpet! carpet of lights! i dazzle myself so easily by the city carpet! twinkling carpet of lights! passing on my way from kitchen to bedroom plate glass is kissing me with a stunning carpet of lights i sway my head the carpet of lights goes -- zoom i am the alien i am the native carpet! mission to base! we have carpet! carpet of lights! Marek Lugowski 10 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois thu11feb99 ------------------------------------------------------------ writing a poem to converse with someone who isn't there is peculiar it is a wrenching sort of fun to write a poem to converse not having the conversant conversely what would the conversant think of being talked to in absentia o love Marek Lugowski 12 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois fri12feb99 --------------------------------------------------------- very scary. driving to cincy tonight. black ice and more than a few times the evil tug on the steering wheel. roadside wrecks fresh-kill often garlanded with the red and blue blooms of cruiser lights. that huge mangling wreck in indy fire engines hovering like surgical nurses lonesome cars strewn highway side like killed deer no slain deer as a matter of fact blowing snow like a screensaver but it was only supposed to be so-so so bad. Marek Lugowski 13 February 1999 Cincinnati, Ohio sat13feb99 ---------------------------------------------------------- shostakovitch's ninth symphony krzysztof penderecki conducting cincinnati symphonic orchestra at cincinnati's music hall then penderecki's own third balcony center amazing what a good professional orchestra can do from silence to um loud do i got flow now or not? Marek Lugowski 14 February 1999 Cincinnati, Ohio sun14feb99 (a saint valentine rememberance for the french and indian girls) ------------------------------------------------------------ each girl has an _en face_ face and these _face on_ faces are blending sending memories to wash up and over the top on my strand -- as if swarming candy-fed zoo gibbons through the wires anonymous in one lump sum to us yet each lovingly identifiable to their ponytailed blonde keeper i do not know where this song is going but i am going where the orange sun is going yes under its nameplate shield the field tomb of the unknown number it says there longingly questingly -- _ouest_ a word i picked up near toronto near montreal near ottawa -- and never ever let go. Marek Lugowski 15 February 1999 Cincinnati, Ohio mon15feb99 (today is my 40th bday) ------------------------------------------------------------ today is my 40th bday i don't quite know what to say two score, two score to score, to score it's always the same goal the song remains the same from women's soccer to ponytailed grrl basketball but seriously folks if i could have another to score for some odd two score more i would adore it. Marek Lugowski 15 February 1999 Cincinnati, Ohio tue16feb99 (free last free space gone) ----------------------------------------------------------- do you correlate having a handle on things with clean space if not this plaint is not for you when the last free space gets crowded out of its indian reservation place and begins to look the part of a sierra mountain chain do you put up your hands in surrender or do you bite your lip and bring on the heavy weaponry of the large caliber: the expediency itself the equivalency of summary execution itself the garbage pail Marek Lugowski 18 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois wed17feb99 (do away with the daily poem) ----------------------------------------------------------- when nothing poignant or funny comes to mind the first next thing that comes to mind is to ask the psychtrix to relent and do away with the daily poem dear psychtrix although you won't see this until monday at 5 i dearly ask -- am i not well enough already? don't i strike you as having healed? i would like to return to my happy blocked state occasionally punctuated by a brilliant poem i find that this daily scheduled writing is maybe okay for my fans and lurking perverts but is taking me out of the contention for the really fine occasional poem like too much steady sex like being marrieds Marek Lugowski 18 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois thu18feb99 (opera tix) ----------------------------------------------------------- someone at work was selling two tickets to the opera balcony seats -- two for hundred sixty odd bucks two at face value ohmigod five dollars at indiana university those were the days the iu school of music where the fat ladies fatten up learning the end of game zing-sing Marek Lugowski 19 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois fri19feb99 (live a charmed life yet) ------------------------------------------------------------ i live a charmed life on the lakeshore in highrise chicago being single i don't hear honey take the trash out or stuff like it though being as i am told by one and sundry it really rings more like come on take it the heck out!! i live a charmed life yet despite the self-determination of singlehood i openly yearn for the onset of ponytailed wifehood the best of all possible worlds, aha like joni ever sings and i do i do i do believe her don't know what you've got until it's gone Marek Lugowski 19 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois sat20feb99 --------------------------------------------------------- once upon a time someone a stranger shipped to me a box of swiss chocolate the topic of swiss chocolate came up on a newsgroup and the fellow kindly sent the varried goods on a stopover in america just like that of course he was swiss never i sing tell that kindness from strangers is a so so thing and never disparage a miss for being swiss Marek Lugowski 22 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois sun21feb99 ----------------------------------------------------------- memory plays awful tricks on me is personnel really two n? it would help to know latin and french o memory -- i need sleep Marek Lugowski 22 February 1999 Chicago, Illinois ---end