IN MY HEAD (Posted 2007-06-13 12:46:51 by ArchPaladin) This post may be a little disjointed, but that's why it's in the weird category. Just run with the scene changes. It really does make sense. There are many times where I wonder what it would be like to do or be something entirely different from what I am. Not in the "I wonder what it would be like to be a manager", or something that is basically a different form of cubicle life, but in the "wow that's a REALLY different occupation" type of reasoning. For example, could I be a carnie? With my interests, I'd probably end up being a fire twirler or a magician doing close-up acts with cards and coins. Given my martial arts training I could choreograph (and perform) stage combat, so that's another possibility. Or perhaps I'd just end up managing everything, since given enough time I tend to take on that kind of role. I have a pretty healthy dose of respect for carnies, or street performers, or other vaudeville-type this-is-how-we-got-our-entertainment-before-cinema acts.. Living statues, for example. I can't imagine how they have the control to just stay in one place for such a long amount of time. It must induce a little psychosis to do that, to suppress your subconscious behaviors. I wonder what it would be like to go insane too (hence studying neuroscience, and playing Malkavian characters in gaming, and making random stream of consciousness type blog posts), but that's a discussion for another time. That's why I liked Witch's Woods. It has a bit of a carnival aspect, just heavily themed and without a lot of cool oddities that really ought to be present but aren't (safety? profit margins? bad managerial vision?). It was rather fun to half-live out a different life as an entertainer. However, it was terribly time consuming, and that's a problem. I haven't quite decided if I want to go back to WW this year, and the sole reason depends on whether or not the hassles are... My coworker's phone has been ringing for 10 minutes and he's not here to pick it up. I have to go find him. Excuse me. So anyway, the sole reason depends on whether or not the hassles are worth the effort and expense. There's a lot of gas spent driving there, money spent on costuming, little money gained, much sleep lost and nerves wracked, eating habits ruined, and on top of it all, Massachusetts state taxes. I suppose all of the above is not such a terribly big hassle (except the taxes part), but what makes this such a big internal debate is that I have to ask the question of whether or not I feel like my time is best spent there as opposed to doing something else. It really is just a question of priority. Do I feel my time is better used elsewhere? As it's not currently close enough to October, I can't really say. ILMA will hopefully be open by then, and if that's the case then there's no way I could go to WW and still be (in)sane. But it might not be open, so going to WW would then depend on whether or not I was engaged in something else that was big. This is also basically my hesitation about going to Thud (or is it Thudd?). Last time I wanted to go because I had never been. Now...well it would be cool, but that is my night at Higgins' class, and I didn't get to go two days ago, so that would be two weeks missed. Clubbing is like a consecutive series of moments of Zen, but I can achieve similar effects from training, and training is considerably more productive for me. So...I dunno. I've run of out steam somewhat. Suffice to say, if the world changes considerably and my job goes away, I might become an entertainer of some kind. A dark, gothic entertainer of some kind, as those can be amusing, freaky, and unsettling. And becoming that involves knowing enough about that kind of world to be successful in it. But I don't know if I want to take the time to learn that world at the expense of not being grounded in what I am currently doing. -------- There are 4 comments on this post: Comment #1 by Krys ( auggiememnon@yahoo.com ) on 2007-06-14 02:53:08 Dark, gothic entertainment, eh? How delightful! ^_^ You really must abandon all these other dreams and become a carnie. It'd be fantastic. heehee As for the Woods stuff: Personally, the reason I keep going back to the Woods is because I'd be miserable without it, if I know I can get there. I *need* it. I need to entertain like that, need to hear those people scream, see the looks on their faces; need to smell the gasoline from the chainsaws, need to play on the Trail in the cold October nights, and commune with zombies in the graveyard under all those stars, run around like crazy, and be someone who's a whole lot nuttier and darker than I can ever be on a normal day. If you don't NEED to go to the Woods, if it doesn't call to you to come back, then don't sweat it. If you're better off without it, then don't worry about figuring out if the pros outweigh the cons enough. But if there are only a few things that suck- MA taxes, gas money to and from, etc- there ARE other places. There are places in Nashua, too. Fright Night or something? I can't remember exactly. It just got started last year. But if you don't want to deal with MA taxes and the drive, that could be an option if you feel the call of the night, and miss letting that side out a couple nights a week throughout October. People with "real" lives still manage to be involved, like Lord Bob (real job, plus with and two kids, plus I think some position on the school board. Not an individual with a whole lot of excess time on his hands.) So long as it's not work, it makes itself worth it. Also, if you don't think you'd like to go to some other haunt by yourself, you DON'T have to be at the Woods every night. I know plenty of people who only come to play one or two nights a week. Or people who have said "I'm going to be home from school on this weekend, so is it okay if I show up?" Basically, I'm just trying to say I support whatever you chose- because if you're going to come back, you'll feel the pull and the excitement soon enough. I know I'd love to have you back this season. Frankly, having you at the Woods last year was filled with a lot of moments that both changed and solidified how I viewed you and felt about you as far as really thinking of you as a friend goes. Sort of like when you started gaming with us, and then when you GMed. You were in settings that were normal and comfortable to me, and ultimately hugely important to me, and it was nice that you fit right in. ^_^ So it would be fun to have you back, but if you don't come out to scare people all month, you at the very least are obligated to play with us at the haunted house on Halloween. Which Nicole and I will find a way to do somehow, no matter what we're given to work with. ::grin:: Comment #2 by ArchPaladin ( blog@archpaladin.net ) on 2007-06-14 12:09:06 There's no doubt that I will be involved in the haunted house. Lord Bob expressed a desire to see me again at the Woods this year, and others have casually mentioned something similar to that. It of course doesn't make the decision any easier. There's no way I would want to go somewhere else unless others came along, as part of the enjoyment of the Woods was the people that are present and working with you. I've considered only coming back for a couple nights a week (like perhaps Saturday and Sunday nights) - I think any less than that wouldn't make it worth the effort of putting together a costume and learning (or faking have learned) the stuff on the route. Maybe even say something like "don't pay me, just increase Nicole's salary" or something like that to avoid the hassle of taxes. I still have a few months to think about it. By then I'll have a better idea of how my schedule will look anyway. Comment #3 by Krys ( auggiememnon@yahoo.com ) on 2007-06-14 12:50:06 lol Increasing Nicole's pay would be good. ^_^ Though, really, they should have done that for her before now ANYway, but that's a gripe for another day. You'll have to explain to me someday how people in NH deal with MA taxes around tax time, as I'm gonna have to file similar things next year. And, if you only came back one night, you could always re-use last year's outfit. (But I am someone who gets a new costume made every year, so I won't deny the immense appeal of new outfits; it's merely a suggestion. ::grin::) "There’s no way I would want to go somewhere else unless others came along" Yeah, Lord Bob and Paul! are two of the major reasons I don't think I could just up and go somewhere else without tons of prep and trying to convince them to come along as well, 'cause they'll probably always be at the Woods. ^_^ Comment #4 by ArchPaladin ( blog@archpaladin.net ) on 2007-06-15 14:41:28 [snip] Increasing Nicole’s pay would be good. ^_^ Though, really, they should have done that for her before now ANYway, but that’s a gripe for another day. [/snip] True, though I think I'd try to make a different deal with them. Instead of paying each of us $8.50 or whatever the going rate is, just pay her $17. I doubt they'd be giving her that much of a raise otherwise. [snip] You’ll have to explain to me someday how people in NH deal with MA taxes around tax time, as I’m gonna have to file similar things next year. [/snip] I'd have to get out my tax forms to give you specifics, but I know there's a non-resident form that you're supposed to fill out. It's like form NP-R or something like that.