HOPE
(Posted 2007-09-13 16:04:45 by ArchPaladin)

I'm doing two posts today, so if you only visit occasionally and haven't
read the first one, scroll down and get that one first.

Our church has had an intern present over the summer.  He came last year
and decided to come back again this year, and in coming back he has gotten
a job offer for the youth minister position that we've had open for a
little while now.  I've spent some time talking with him, and have come to
realize very early on that his passion is not so much in youth ministry as
it is in generally reforming the church organization itself.  Since those
discussions, we've been meeting regularly to help encourage each other in
our respective spiritual walks.  We've each shown each other things that
the other person didn't really know or wasn't doing very well, and it has
been productive meeting with him.

For me, part of this has involved restoring my personal hope in my faith
and Christ.  I've seen a level of passion for the spirit that I haven't
seen in a long time, and this has been very uplifting, because I have been
able to share in that passion.  And in having that hope restored, it makes
me look around at the people around me with new eyes, unhindered by my
previous personal concerns.

I have friends who hurt and struggle in their lives.  Friends who are
bogged down in their daily grinds, noses to the pavement, trying to get by
and thankful for each paycheck.  Friends whose families are falling apart
right in front of them.  Friends with ambitions but who lack the means to
carry them through.  Friends with some dark secrets and trauma that they
are desperately trying to run away from - sometimes without knowing it. 
Friends who I've been around long enough to be able to recognize those
secrets - even though they haven't told me about them directly - because
they wear that vulnerability so clearly.

Most of what I see in my friends are people who have a lot of short-term
hope.  They have some dreams that they pursue and it makes them happy, but
if those things fall apart, or if they look too far ahead into the future,
all they see is uncertainty.  And that makes them afraid.  They question
their ability to get by in this life, how well they'll succeed, how much
money they'll make, whether they can make an impact in the world while
they're here or be relegated to a forgotten existence.

Is there a way for me to say that I have the answer - that I have something
that can provide hope and drive off fear - without it coming off as
arrogant, self-righteous, or hypocritical?  Is there a way for me to
provide help and love to my friends without it coming off as charity or
some unwanted gesture?  How do I overcome the independent spirit of our
culture?

I haven't quite found out the answer to these questions.  I would think
that any action that's done in love should be well received, but we are a
proud and somewhat secretive group - close enough to know each other's
burdens but too far away to reach out and lend a hand.  I keep doing my
best, but mostly that's amounted to sitting around wondering what I am
capable of doing.

It makes me sad knowing that I have something that provides hope, and a
purpose, and a future, but can't overcome my relationship hesitations to
bring that to people who could use it.

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