3 May 2021

I meditated for the first time in a few weeks. It was really intense 
in an emotional way. My mind was in th right place to start off with 
and settled quickly. There were not too many distractions which makes 
a change. I have been using interval bells as 20 minutes feels like 
hard work after not meditating for a while  but they were not 
required. I managed 25 minutes with ease and only stopped as I have 
finished my metta routine. The emotion arose from focusing on 
impermanence of self and others. Impermanence of myself is reasonably 
easy to comprehend. I tend to remember animations of flesh dripping 
away leaving the skull. However, impermanence of others was a ride. 
I ended up thinking about funerals and that lead to how we link to 
one another with a shared history of oneness. This seemed to put me 
into a strangey emotional state. Leaving the meditation left me 
feeling washed out. Colours still feel muted and I still have the 
weird light head, heavy body feelings which normally disappear as I 
return to doing things. This was weird enough to make me want to write 
about it. The last weird meditation event was after a period of 
concerted effort lasting 2 months of near daily meditation at 40 
minutes or so a session. I felt spontaneous joy. It was bizarre but 
also lasted long after fnishing the session. At least my hands do not 
spasm as they used to when I started. That was weird. 

There is more to meditation than simply sitting with your hands in 
your lap!!!