12 November 2021 - Urgh and not Urgh

Today is my Grandma's birthday so I took a day off work and visited. 
It was nice to see her and not nice to see how she is getting worse. 
The traffic did not help either. Stupidly busy and stop start motorway 
driving. Bleurgh. My Grandma seemed to be trying to be as switched on 
as she can but it was clear she reached a limit. Unfortunately, I had 
to keep staying there as I needed to let the audiologist in for some 
hearing aid tuning. I brought some flowers and that seemed to cheer 
her up. She kept saying how nice the smell was. The drive back was 
filled with being on the verge of tears. Mostly at the frustration of 
not being able to help her not being in a state of confusion and 
knowing she would hate what she has become. In the end, the 
audiologist appointment was a waste of time as I could not find her 
hearing aids. Lord knows where they have ended up. 

This has been balanced against trying to get ready for a Scout camp 
tonight. In about an hours time, I will be on site and preparing for 
some 40 odd kids appearing. We have Beavers, Cubs, Scouts and 
Explorers covering ages 6 to 17 on camp. It is only the second camp in 
the past 2 years and certainly catering for so many will be 
interesting. Sort of bricking it for the chaos but looking forward to 
the chaos at the same time. Sunday will filled with feelings of 
happy tiredness. There is sooo much work until I reach that point but 
it is always worth it. I find it amazing to see how children change 
over a weekend as their confidence builds. It is a pleasure to be part 
of the team helping them find this confidence.